ziaodo
Joined 22nd Jul, 2012 ·
Offline
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Mega NewWays97 · 2.4k words · 164 30 · 4.7k views
- Darth Pestilence · 3.1k words · 120 22 · 3.5k views
- Timeless Lord Slayer · 39k words · 157 32 · 4.1k views
- DeathsShade · 7.5k words · 200 4 · 6.9k views
- Dark_Knight · 2.7k words · 221 20 · 8.4k views
- TrombonePlayingPony · 28k words · 368 24 · 8.5k views
- xavex · 211k words · 124 25 · 3.8k views
- Trithtale · 5.1k words · 137 16 · 3k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.188 seconds
Total duration
606 users online
870,454 hits today, 2,782,760 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
On the last sentence, you forgot a period, but grammar aside, I'll be tracking, and liking.
A description of your character would be nice. As is I can't tell if they're humanoid or equine, male or female, and then there's the 'skeletal' descriptor... Your story description implies human-like but I can't really picture it.
You would think if he lived with the crystal ponies for a while before being forced to put them in stasis that it would give him a chance to talk to and reconcile with them while they were all stuck together.
6127467
Thx for catching that, its been fixed.
6127522
A description of Nox will be included in the next chapter, in hind sight I should have included it in this but if I put off publishing this any longer I probably would have talked myself out of it.
Well I have been looking for a story with a necromancer being sent here. You have my attention and I like it.
Goddamnit not another one of these fucking things
Love the story!
its always good to see a good necromancer story is everyone because everyone normally makes them evil or falls into the evil niche because I always viewed magic like light and dark magic as a type of power that The user decided if it was good or evil
and so far the story seems pretty nice please continue up the great writing
I really like this story, both from a female character, and necromancer powers. One thing you could do to improve this is a proofreader.
6128545
I know I need one, however I haven't had the chance to look for one yet. As well the first three chapters were written today and posted today. I have doubts I will find a proof reader / editor that would work that fast... if I continue to write that fast. Idk... I write when bored, which happens a lot.
6128560 Yup! Anyway, there is a writing guide by Ezn in the create story thing. If you hit the ' new story' thing, there should be a sentence about a writing guide! Extremely thorough guide, so should help.
Nice chapter mate!
Don't stop writing plzzz
6127745 They're like roaches. See one? Lift up the rug and enjoy the horde.
Hmmm... seems interesting! Can't wait for the next one.
Wait. Didn't we already have a lich necromancer who was a slave of King Sombra, who had something to do with the Merchant? Came from a different version of Equestria into the normal one? Thing had a like, Deadpool personality, and rainbow ice magic.
Yeah, pretty sure we had something almost exactly like this already. Xanth? Something? Anyone help me out?
6134794
Xante the Lich, is the one I think you are talking about. While yes they share in being slaves of Sombra and are both necromancers, that is the end of the similarities. As for having something to do with the Merchant, MOST of the Displaced have met the merchant and he sent them to Equestria. (Their are a few that made it to Equestria through other means).
6134926
No offense, but it seems you're using the wrong there, both in the comment and in your fic. Have you been proofreading your work before you post? Great story, by the way.
6136014
No offense taken, I am probably using the wrong 'there' somewhere. Would you mind pointing out where though? And I do a quick glance over after writing before posting the chapter. I have this nasty habit of second guessing myself and talking myself out of doing things. (Like writing) So posting it quickly has the benefit of stopping myself from arguing with myself. The down side: I miss some things and some grammar ends up wrong. Both are bad habits, I know I need to get better.
I'm glad your enjoying it, even with the errors.
and this is why you just cut your losses and wipe out Equestria for the good of the world
6128560
I see the Darkest Night Reference.
Well done.
6158076
I'm Glad someone caught it XD
Aww dont do that. I'm really enjoying this.
6159038 I agree, it's hard to find an interesting necromancer story.
*realizes this was not favorited*
*rectifies*
Woo hoo!
So far i see no problems. Letting him be the hand of death on the mortal plain is good and you can write long stories on this alone. And combined with the conflict between Nox and Celly and Noxs influence on the story can hold your fic for a good time.
After that you could maybe make something like a sequel or you could introduce a new factor like an enemy here and there some displaced... you get my line of thought.
And again, so far no complains.
cant wait for more
6213166
Thank you! And I hope displaced show up eventually, I just haven't talked to anyone about crossovers yet. I may need to get on that.
Comment.
I did like it, it's just kinda silly that "all the power of death" and she just wants to sit back and be left alone, yet no one bothers to talk to her. She saved her guards from the train but Celestia immediately jumps the gun and shouts "evil". Maybe some context would help. We see Nox's pov, but maybe some insight why Celestia is all shoot first question never.
I think it is a awesome story so far. Keep the good work up.
6214130
You, my fine reader, have given me deviously wonderfully evil ideas for the future. Oh the ideas you have given me, I'm looking forward to putting them in writing. So thank you, what is to come is entirely on your shoulders :3
WOOOO!!!!!!! GO DEATH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
6214130 WHAT DID YOU DO!
6214704
Uhh.. Your welcome
NO comment.... 0-o
Woohoo go death!!
Alright so I have not started this fic yet but I think you should say since this is a displaced fic what the costume that the main protagonist will done in the description.
6232477
Displaced Power Lotto Fic, the character she is actually based off of is an old character of mine. So even if I put it in the description, it wouldn't help much, if any. Thanks for the input though, hope you like the story.
I'm glad I could help, nice set up btw. I can guess where this is going. Sombra controlled her, Celestia and Luna had to face her, her plan to subvert Sombra wouldn't work if they didn't face her going all out, so she uses the stereotypical villan monologue to make them fight... or at least that what I think will happen.
One issue I see with Nox is she will have a hard time interacting with normal ponies. Trivial slice of life stuff will be what she craves but as an undead horror it will be something that won't come easily. Normal folk will fear and shun her. Even Ponyville will not be a peaceful haven for one who consorts with gods.
Well, Umbra does not has a charecter, she only speaks one phrase each chapter, its like she is not there, the story is rushed, too many thinks happen in a few words, try to make the chapters longer, and put more though process in it, make Umbra talk more and participate, her points of view, her moods, etc., the stpy has potential, but your writing needs a lot of improving.
You have a few spelling errors, but hey it doesn't ruin the fact that it's a great story so far! You have my support!
In a previous chapter you stated that Nox didn't know the word alicorn, but clearly she is aware here of the meaning. Oversight or memory loss later?
6233810
Thank you for your input! I realize Umbra is quite dull at the moment, its something I plan on fixing soon. As for my writing needing improvement: I know. I know it well, frankly I'm surprised so many people like this fic as it is. However there is little I can do to improve besides continuing for write, which is the plan. For pacing: I'm still trying to figure it out, part of that falls under my writing just generally needing improving.
6234251
Memory Loss is something I have been trying to elude to (I might be failing at it).
Wonderouse!!! Do not leave us waiting to long!
I love the justice meted out here. However, this entire chapter felt fairly rrished this could easily be a 3-4k word chapter, allowing for much further detail and pacing. However, the entire story is set at such a pace, so changing one or two chapters would be a bad idea, lest an entire story redo be necessitated. In short: a little rushed, but still very good. Onwards!
Elder one......Is she somehow older and more powerful than all of them?
OH man, the fact that Death's servant just got Tia's dad to agree to the punishment she advised is prolly making Death both proud as hell and Laughing his undead ass off from this....Man I can't wait for the next chapter!
6266784 I think it's more a Time thing, Her Future is his Past but she doesn't know it yet or how they are connected.