X Is Going To Kill You!

Mystical Rainboom

Mystical Rainboom #1 · Jun 2nd, 2015 · · · Rainbow Dash Is Going To Kill You! ·

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6045781 eeyup

auburn12

auburn12 #2 · Jun 2nd, 2015 · · · Rainbow Dash Is Going To Kill You! ·

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>That synopsis

WTF is this shit?

sbloom85

sbloom85 #3 · Jun 2nd, 2015 · · · Rainbow Dash Is Going To Kill You! ·

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Okay, time to fuel up.
derpicdn.net/img/view/2013/9/21/431776__safe_solo_applejack_alcohol_product+placement_applejack+daniel%27s_artist-colon-4suit_jack+daniels.jpeg

Story index page:

X is going to kill you!
Rainbow Dash is going to kill you!

Apparently you do not know how to do titles. Refer to this page to understand how titles work.

Long description:
Not much wrong here, though when you first refer to a place, don't use an abbreviation (CHS), spell it out fully (Canterlot High School).

Chapter 1:
Right off the bat, do not use spaces to indent, use the "Tab" key on your keyboard to indent. Also, if you're going to indent the first paragraph, make sure to indent every paragraph after it.

Also be sure to utilize spell-check.

His sliping had shot mud everywhere!

slipping

He threw a boy in the path, span Vinyl backwards

spun

and knocked over a science bucket of butter

derpicdn.net/img/view/2014/4/19/604805__safe_solo_applejack_animated_screencap_upvotes+galore_looking+at+you_hub+logo_frown_hubble.gif

His seat was atleast

Two words.

(He wasn't taking chances.)

Do not use parentheses, please.

Anon coward in fear.

cowered.

Trixie,alone,

Put a space between the first comma and "alone,".

The pair reached the category of sexlife.

Two words.

All eyes wero

were

Everyone in the gym either laughed, had a larger burrito or taco, or stood frozen.

derpicdn.net/img/view/2013/11/26/481925__safe_solo_twilight+sparkle_animated_princess+twilight_upvotes+galore_alicorn_3d_reaction+image_sfm.gif

Shining Armor, I'm serious I'd like to have a baby!

Okay, given the context here, this made me chuckle.

(Being a boring nobody, Anon found time to learn to hotwire cars.)

Again with the parentheses...

(She was miraculously unscathed.)

...

Rainbow grabbed his face and punched him 27 times.

Spell out the number. Twenty-seven.

and his legs were grinded

ground

Rainbow got out and stuck a campfire into the gas tank

1:
weavings.upperroom.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/Campfire.jpg
How do you put that into a gas tank?

2:
One space between words.

Promising premise, but poorly executed... no pun intended. You should either find a proofreader, or read your work and fix your errors before you post it. If you don't know what to fix... you should definitely find a proofreader.

Hopefully our ~~Kenny~~ Anon in Equestria Girls' second chapter will be more interesting.

Mystical Rainboom

Mystical Rainboom #4 · Jun 2nd, 2015 · · · Rainbow Dash Is Going To Kill You! ·

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6047667 Best piece of feedback I've ever seen.

I was using a different mobile device to write, because my computer just loves to catch and error anytime I may use it.

The mobile device always leads me to the wrong word and never tells me a mistake.

I will take your advice and use grammar and spell check from different sites. Or at least search for a proof reader.
Thnx for the entertaining feedback.