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Breaking Point

Pinkie Pie's POV
I trudged slowly up the stairs to my bedroom of Sugarcube corner, my cheery demeanor gone.
I wanted to smile, I really did, but how could I, knowing how miserable 'Mena was?

She hated me. She hated me more than I thought it was possible for anypony to hate.
I kept running that word through my mind.

Hate.

I lay down on my bed and whimpered. "I lost my smile...." I heard the sound of a balloon deflating. I turned to look at a mirror and saw that my hair had indeed lost the poofiness. But it had simply gone limp, not straight like 'Mena's hair was.

"I changed my mind. I like straight hair....." I mumbled quietly to myself.
Gummy hopped up onto the bed next to me. I put an arm around him and pulled him close. "Thanks. Gummy...."

I sighed and closed my eyes, deciding to call it an early night.

It took me hours to fall asleep, but when I did, it was a fitful one.

I dreamt.

For the first time since I was aware of 'Mena, I had a dream.

I bounced through the field of flowers, humming and smiling as brightly as my face would allow.

"Come on everypony, smile smile smile!"

I began to sing my favourite song.

"Fill my heart up with sunshine, sunshine!"

A swirl of butterflies flew passed and I spun in circles, with the sweet sound of laughter.

"All I really need is a smile, smile-"

"-Frown."

I stopped my spinning and blinked, then fell forwards as I realized I had been standing on my hind legs.
My face in the dirt, I heard a voice similar to mine, but it was filled with malice and sorrow.

"All I really need is a frown, frown frown, from everypony else around me!"

I heard the sound of metal piercing wood. I lifted my head and my eyes widened in shock as I saw Pinkamena, laying on her back on a pile of uncomfortable and dull looking rocks, throwing knives at a tree! The wood was pierced in multiple places, with metal sticking out the other side.

Pinkamena sighed and picked up another of the dangerous object and threw it at a tree, striking it dead center. She was practically radiating with upset. In fact, the grass around her was brown and dead, and the very air seemed cloudy and dull!

"How could you think such a way?" I exclaimed with sadness and a hint of fear. I ran up to her, but stopped and stumbled backwards when the sharp object she had been holding whizzed towards me and piecred the ground right in front of me.

"Stay. Back." She hissed, the venom dripping from her words.
I shivered and complied, stepping backwards a few steps. I gulped and stared at her with eyes widened, and my body shaking. The beautiful field of flowers was melting around us, and the aura of decay that had been around 'Mena was spreading.
As it passed a tree, it morphed into a twisted, sharp mess. It had a picture of Twilight's face on it, which promptly had a knife driven through it, the expression changing to one of pain.

It was a nightmare. An absolute nightmare. I stumbled backwards farther as the decay spread farther, getting closer to me. I grit my teeth in fear.

'Just a nightmare, it's just a nightmare!'

The decay was growing. it was spreading, turning the luscious, joyful green land into a desolate, dead land. All the while 'Mena just sat there, glaring at the picture of Twilight.

I walked backwards in fear as the decay came closer to me. If the joy filled land turned to a dark, destroyed wasteland, what would happen to me!?

I stopped.

There was something behind me.

But it was nothing.

It was the something nothing!

I turned around as my eyes widened in terror as the wave of destruction came closer.

Closer.

It touched me!

*BLAM*

"Ow...." I moaned and rubbed my muzzle. My face had been on the bedroom floor, and I was tangled in the bed sheets, which were soaked with sweat.

"That wasn't a nice dream...." I shivered. I couldn't remember all of it, but I remembered most of it. 'W-Why would 'Mena feel that way? Why would she...make all the joy go away?'

'Maybe because joy doesn't exist in me'.

My ears perked and I almost gasped. 'Mena was talking to me!

'H-How could you feel that way? How can you live without joy!?

'.....'

I sat up and looked in the mirror. My hair was the same way it was last night, and now that I could see it, I saw my tail was that way, too. I wagged it back and forth slowly before sighing.

'Poor 'Mena....'

"Pinkie, look - I know things didn't go well last time, but trust me, the more she goes, the better she'll get!"

"No, Twilight....no! It won't help!"

Twilight and I were walking through the Ponyville market, where all this bad stuff started. All because I was such a stupid little filly, and I couldn't listen when 'Mena said no!

Twilight sighed. "Look, Pinkie-"

"Fluttershy!" I dashed over to my awesome super-duper pegasus friend, making her yelp.

"O-Oh, Pinkie! Don't scare me like that!" She hunched down low and laid her ears back meekly.

"Oh, sorry!" I rubbed the back of my neck nervously and grinned. "Um, whatchya doin' here?"
I heard Twilight walk up behind me, muttering something under her breath that I couldn't make out.

"I was just....buying food for the animals." she responded quietly.

"Ahem." Twilight interrupted, and I noticed an irked look from her. "Pinkie, it's rude to just leave when somepony is talking to you!"

"Sorry, but..." I lowered my ears and then turned to Fluttershy with a hopeful smile. "Fluttershy, can you help out 'Mena? She's really sad and scared!"

"Pinkie!"

I ignored Twilight. "Pleeease?"

Fluttershy blinked, looking a little confused, but worry was evident in her face too. "Of course I'll help her, Pinkie! I'd be more than happy to!"

Twilight grabbed my tail and spun me around to face her, making my eyes roll in my head for a moment. "What are you doing!? Pinkamena already has a counselor that's qualified to help her! Fluttershy isn't qualified!"

Fluttershy hunched down and lowered her ears again. "O-Oh, if I'd be a problem, I won't intrude..."

"NONONO!" I spun around and grabbed onto Fluttershy tightly, squeezing her. "You haveta help 'Mena! She hates that counselor!"

"Pinkie, it's for her own good!" Twilight took a step forwards and I held Fluttershy tighter.

"No!"

I heard a choking sound next to me and looked at Fluttershy, who was oddly looking blue rather than her usual yellow.

Oh.

I immediately let go of her. "I-I'm sorry Fluttershy!" I laid my ears back and stared at the ground.

"It's...fine..." she gasped, catching her breath.

"Pinkie, what will it take to convince you?" Twilight sighed, exasperated.

"It'll take 'Mena not being so angry and upset about going!" I gave her a determined look.
I wasn't backing down, not anymore! I'd hurt 'Mena too many times already!

Fluttershy had caught her breath, but seemed content to just watch us, not wanting to get in the middle of our argument.

"But she won't feel that way unless she goes!" Twilight argued.

"Well, than she's not going!" I stomped a hoof and turned around, marching past Fluttershy, who slowly stood up and followed me, still hunched down nervously, and she was looking back at Twilight apologetically and worriedly.

I didn't care. Nothing mattered now other than getting 'Mena to feel better! And I'd do whatever it took to get that to happen, even at the cost of my own life if I had to!

Pinkamena's POV

I can't believe I ever wanted to go back to that world so badly! Pinkie could have her miserable existence to herself!
I never realized that my imprisonment for all those years was a blessing. The world outside of my own mind was terrible. It was a terrible, horrible place, filled with horrible ponies!

I was done looking at it. Now that I wanted to be as far away from the world as possible instead of part of it, I had detached myself from my senses - no, Pinkie's senses - and could stay in darkness. Total, absolute darkness, away from anything but my own thoughts.

But of course, I can never have true peace, I can never just be miserable on my own, because when Pinkie spoke in her mind to me, I still heard her, and couldn't do a thing about it.

''Mena, please, come out!'

I did my best to make something like a hissing sound with my mind.

'P-Please come out...I'll stop bugging you, I swear! A-And, Fluttershy's here! She wants to talk to you!'

That made me stop. Fluttershy. The one pony in the world who seemed to understand me.

I had to speak to her, at least one last time before I locked myself up in my mind forever.
But what if Pinkie was just lying, doing the dirty work of that nasty purple unicorn, to get me to do her will?

I had the means to check.

I reattached myself to my - sorry, Pinkie's senses, and saw the timid pegasus that I could call a friend staring into my eyes worriedly.
It was strange, I almost felt as if she was looking straight into me, and could see the trapped mare I was, inside my own mind.

"Please, Pinkamena..." She said sadly.

That was it.

My mane flattened and the features of my face switched from the worried expression my counterpart wore to a miserable look of despair.

"Fl-Fluttershy..." Wetness built up in the corners of my eyes. I couldn't cry in my mind. I couldn't let the emotions out.

"Oh, dear!" She leaned forwards and caught me as I collapsed, sobbing loudly. I had to get it out. I didn't care if Pinkie was watching me. I couldn't hold this in,

"F-Fluttershy! They all stare! They all judge me! I'm just a....a fake! A thing! I'm not a real pony, I'm just something to be on display!" I cried my eyes out into her shoulder. "And none of them take pity on me! No one! They just do what they want with me! That cursed purple unicorn that dares call herself a friend of anyone bends me to her will, manipulates me!" Ranting about it just made me cry more.

Some of the animals in Fluttershy's cottage were staring at the spectacle.

The slight anxieties that that caused were dwarfed by the despair I felt at my own existence.

"T-Twilight....?" Fluttershy mumbled.

"Mhm...!" I sniffed.

"That's...a little hard to believe, that she'd do that..."

My heart stopped. I swear my heart stopped.

Fluttershy. My one true friend. She didn't believe me!

"Y-You...you d-don't believe me!?" I almost screamed, making her wince and shrink down, almost letting go of me.

"Of course I do!" She said. "I-I'm sorry I said that...." she whispered.

I sniffled.

"I wouldn't accuse you of lying, I can see it in you...." She ran her hoof through my mane slowly.

I liked that.

"I-I don't...want to exist anymore..." I moaned, burying my face into her shoulder.

"Shh...." She rubbed my back softly. I sniffled again and tried to get myself under control.

"I know how you feel, Pinkamena....."

I didn't respond to that, but nonetheless wondered how she could possibly relate to this feeling.

"When I was younger, I was forced to put on a play." She kept stroking my mane. I felt a tiny bit better. "I didn't want to do it. I told everyone I didn't want to. My mother, my father, my teachers... they all told me that it'd be fine, that I'd get over it when I did it.
But I didn't believe them. I tried lots of things to get out of doing it. I tried pretending to be sick, hiding, saying I forgot to practice..." She stopped running her hoof through my mane. I wished she would continue.

"It was even worse than I imagined. I got up there, and tried to act out what they told me to. But In barely a second, I had made a fool of myself, and everypony was laughing at me and calling me names. And nopony forgot! For as long as I was in that school, that play always got brought up, I always got laughed at!" She squeezed me tighter. I think she was starting to cry too.

"I had so many problems to face as a filly, and that just topped it off....I didn't want to be in this horrible, horrible world anymore."

My eyes widened a tiny bit at the familiar sounding sentence.

"But..." She started stroking my mane again. "Eventually....I found there were those that did care about me. I was too caught up in thinking how terrible the world and everypony in it was, I forgot that there were those who cared about me, and worried for me, and wanted to help me."

I could see where she was going with this.

"And so...they helped me. My loved ones helped me through it." She let go of me and then pushed my head up so I was looking at her isntead of her shoulder. "I'm here for you, Pinkamena. We all are."

Other than the word 'we' and who it could possibly pertain to....that helped.

I hugged her tightly and cried silent tears, this time of sorrow for slightly different reasons. "Thank you, Fluttershy..." I whispered.

Several moments went by of silence before I spoke again.

"Can....can I stay here tonight....?"

She smiled.
"Sure."

Author's Note:

Well, after over 3 months, lots of stress, writer's block, struggle to figure out how to continue, a mess that happened when I wrote and uploaded a chapter 5 before without putting heart into it, and so many other problems.....
I finally finished Chapter 5.

Do you guys think it lived up to the wait? Please, leave a comment below! ^_^

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wlam

wlam #1 · Sep 12th, 2015 · · ·

6328822
I suppose so can I, but then I've been stabbed before.

MixMassBasher

MixMassBasher #2 · Sep 12th, 2015 · 1 · ·

I just hope that Mena finally makes peace with Pinkie in the end.
You certainly know how to do drama in this story.
Great Update! I look forward to more.

Fictional Fanatic