• Member Since 10th Aug, 2013
  • offline last seen Dec 22nd, 2018

kani


(゚Д゚;≡;゚д゚)

E

Pinkie Pie has always just been Pinkie Pie: outgoing, happy, and blissfully innocent.

Or has she?


Any constructive criticism or advice will be much appreciated.
Special thanks to joc_a and sunnypack for pre-reading.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 37 )

This reminds me of What's Left of Me. :twilightsmile:

First story, hmm? Alright, let's see.

My overall opinion: I always liked stories that portray Pinkie as the unconscious villian. So I liked this, too.

The pacing is great, the wording and sentence structure is great, and while there isn't much original about it, it's pretty good.

Great job!

This is mildly terrifying in its concept. Well done. That said, it's going to really really bother me if something isn't done about this and Pinkie Pie is set straight on what she's doing. Carefully. That she's destroyed her best friend/alterego and plunged her deeper into a sadness.. the exact opposite of what she wanted to do....

C'mon everypony, smile smile smile...


Always Chaotic...

5436340
Thank you for the comment!
That's interesting to hear... I tried to go for a darker atmosphere instead of sad/melancholic. I'm a bit interested in hearing why it reminded you of it, if that's alright with you? And I hope you enjoyed the story too :twilightsheepish:

5436372
Thank you very much :twilightsmile: I'm glad you liked it!

5436376
That... that was exactly what I wanted the story to feel like, so seeing your comment just made my day. Thank you :heart:

5436393
'Cause cheering up my friends is just what Pinkie's here to do :pinkiehappy:

5436490 eeyup! Also, greatly enjoyed the story, that image... It reminds me of something, can't think what though...
Always Chaotic...

You did a good job of describing a dark atmosphere of Pinkie's two sides to her personality without it being out of character, my hat is off to you. :twilightsmile:

5436544
Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it :twilightblush:

5436546
Thank you for the comments! I did worry a bit about Pinkie being OOC so thank you for giving me confidence :heart:
I'm glad you liked the story :twilightsmile:

5436694 You're welcome, confidence is the key! :heart:

Overall I thought you did a good job at this story and you did a good job on Pinkie's character. Did you ever think to turn this into a longer/many chaptered story instead of just a one-shot?

-Frost :pinkiesmile:

5436903
Thank you, I'm glad you liked it! :twilightsmile:
This piece actually started off as part of a longer chaptered fic, but I thought the underlying themes included would be too dark for the story I was writing, so I sliced it out to be a stand-alone instead.
I'm not sure I'll write any continuations to this any time soon, sorry :fluttershyouch:

Nothing groundbreaking, but looking at it as a test to see if you have what it takes to write, I can safely say that you do.

Here's your medal: findmeagift.co.uk/site_media/images/products/p_main/box174_Champion_Farter_Chocolate_Medal_1.jpg

5436490 In What's Left of Me, Addie and Eva are in the same body. Addie is in control all of the time, and the only thing Eva can do is talk to Addie. Later in the story, though, some people help Eva learn how to move again and then it's kind of 50/50 between Eva and Addie.

The story was good, I just thought it was too short. Reading the comments helped me realize that it's part of a longer story and one that I'd like to read, if you don't mind putting it up. All in all, I love the conscious interchange between Pinkamina and Pinkie, it's something I like to use. It gives a lot of different interactions between the two of them as well as the others of the mane 6. Have a like and a fave! Keep writing!

5437695 I'm not sure exactly what you're asking for, but here's a description.
http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/11043618-what-s-left-of-me

5437811

Thought it was a fic, my bad.

I'd really like to see how the rest of them would react to knowing that Pinkie was keeping the REAL Pinkie prisoner in her own head.

Lyi

Wow! That was GOOD! Neat idea!

5437107
Thank you; my favourite medal so far :pinkiecrazy:

5437557
My bad, I thought you meant the song for some reason :twilightblush:

5437665
Thank you, I'm glad you liked it :twilightsmile:
As I mentioned before this was actually a removed subplot to another longer fic - a Pinkieshy one to be exact. If there's enough interest even after knowing my strange tastes in ships I might consider placing that fic as a sequel/continuation of this :pinkiesmile:

5438349
My guess would be that they never do realise.
Anytime Mena manages to dominate slightly and does something uncharacteristic for Pinkie Pie, would be brushed off as Pinkie Pie "just being Pinkie Pie". Unless she flat-out told them something along the lines of "I'm actually an alter-ego of Pinkie Pie and the original owner of the body and she's being trapping me in her head since fillyhood."
Their reaction? :rainbowhuh:...:rainbowlaugh: "Yeah right, Pinkie, as if."
I think Fluttershy would be the only one to realise but I'm biased anyway.

5438686
Thank you :twilightsmile:

5436372
Why? she and pinkamena are the same pony unless we are going dr jekyll here.

Hmm ya know if pinkamena was a separate entity all together then why is she sharing the same body? I like to think that they were twins that were somehow absorbed into one body so they are two minds sharing one body. Think Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde the two entities are battling for control over the body and sometimes mr Hyde wins. Were you inspired by Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde?

Even though I thought the concept for this story was interesting, I felt like I couldn't fully take it seriously because of how Pinkie was characterized. Like how interprets "I hate you" as a sarcastic comment... Sure, she's been totally oblivious to things in the show, but never over such a long period of time.It come off as the sort of absurdity or exaggeration that would be at home in a dark comedy, but not something dark and serious like what you were going for.However, I'm not saying I thought the story was bad, and I also didn't see anything wrong with the writing itself, with the grammar and all that stuff. This was just my two cents on what I thought could have been better.

5439753 Precisely, my dear pinkiesandwichfan!

I really liked this story, I just wish there was more to it, I am curious to see what else could happen with this ieda. Have you ever thought of makeing a sequel? :twilightsmile:

5439781
Thank you for the comment :pinkiesmile:
I don't believe physical entities have much to do with it. My personal take on it is that Pinkie Pie is an identity unconsciously created by Pinkamena when she was younger, starting off as an 'imaginary friend'. If I ever write a sequel I may go into more detail.
No, I wasn't, sorry :twilightsheepish: I was inspired by a psychology book.

5439821
Thank you very much for the feedback! I really appreciate it :twilightsmile:

5440413
Thank you, I'm glad you liked it!
I am considering a sequel, but I can't promise anything yet, sorry :fluttershyouch:

5441358
Very well then your head canon is just as cool. I guess some need to cope with living on a rock farm somehow. The sad thing is we only got a small snippet of her childhood I hope season five brings us more. And you're welcome. :scootangel:

Fridge Horror.
And I Must Scream.

2 of the most terrifying tropes ever. This is a depressing horror story to me.

And it's written really well for being so short.

This story inspired me to write a story similar to it, and it's an ongoing story that has been gaining a lot of attention!
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/257485/caged-inside

I just thought I'd let you know, and thank you for this amazing story, I woudln't have come up with this without it ^_^

This story is really amazing, one of the best written ones I've seen! I made sure to let everyone following my story know about this one.

This is really well written, and to see this is your first work here is really amazing. Keep up the good work; you're an astounding writer! :twilightsmile:

I enjoyed the story so much, I thought I'd do a dramatic reading :pinkiehappy:
I hope you like it:

5875877
Wow... thank you! I certainly didn't expect this :heart:
I had a look at the story and it's looking great so far!! Will be tracking :twilightsmile:

5881740
:pinkiegasp: Thank you so much!! To think my story could get such an amazing reading... :raritydespair:

Before Reading: I don't know why but the picture reminds me of like mewtwo from pokemon.....
After Reading: That was terrifying in the most innocent kind of way. This needs a... happier, I suppose, squeal where Twilight happens and Mena gets a chance to come back or something. Even though that might never happen this was still an amazing story that I love, even if you did scare me more than most "Dark" fics on here. Congratz!

6036489 Funny, I thought the exact same thing! I guess the ending was so horrifying I wanted to make a good ending just so I could feel better, so i actually did make one.

I used some of your story to help me write mine! Yay! :yay:

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