• Member Since 30th Jan, 2015
  • offline last seen September 11th

ShadowKirby


22 years old, Bipolar Disorder, Asperger's Syndrome, am legally blind, and am a born again follower of Jesus Christ! I like Pinkamena/Pinkie and Fluttershy best. Send me a message if you wanna chat!

E
Source

It was dark.
So dark.
Why was it so dark?
And wet.
Very wet.
Why was it so wet?
It was cold.
Really cold.
Why was it so cold?
She didn't know.

POV of Pinkie Pie, in an Alternate Universe where she was sent back to the mirror pool by accident.


French translation available here thanks to the talents of Blaxbone!
Now has a reading by TheDizzyDan, and has another reading by Crafty Arts!

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 90 )

Terrifying. Very well written. Please write more :3

5967823 Thanks! And...terrifying? Well I'm not sure what reaction I expected but I don't think it was that X3
Write more what? Of this story? It's a one-shot, sorry. But I do write new stuff for this site often.

5967833 I mean terrifying, as in... heavy implications. When my brother and I watched the Mirror Pool episode, we both saw it as something with deep implications (creating sentient clones!?) and Twilight's solution to getting rid of all the Pinkies was highly unethical (killing the clones, when they *COULD* be the real Pinkie!?).

Your one-shot basically describes exactly what I saw wrong with the episode - if the wrong Pinkie had been put back, what would be the difference? Are all the other Pinkies dead? Were they even alive in the first place? Blah blah blah, what is the meaning of life? DOES MY LITTLE PONY FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC HOLD ALL THE SECRETS TO CLONING OURSELVES AND CREATING HUMAN LEVEL ARTIFICAL INTELLIGENCES!?!!?

Yep, anyways, really liked the story. I love all your other stories as well!

EDIT: I am bad English, pls forgive me for weird grammar :3

5967853 Actually that was good grammar :)
Yeah, a lot of people seemed to think that way about the episode, including me. I guess it is kind of terrifying, but I find it more fascinating (I am such a sick person sometimes.....)

5967860 I'm going to jump on the "terrifying" bandwagon now before literally everyone says it.

The repetition got to me a little bit, but the effect was mostly just chilling.

Great concept, terrifying execution! :pinkiegasp: :heart:

5967892 Thanks!
I tried to not go overboard with the repetition, and I would've liked it to be shorter, but the site has a 1000 word minimum limit.....

I think this very well could turn into a great story where she finally manages to emerge from the Pool, only to find herself unable to remember anything. But as just as she is about to leave the confines of the pond, she bumps into the rest of the elements who realized their folly. But what did they do when they realized they sent back the real Pinkie? Did they send back their last trace of her back too? Or did they decide to keep her and make her into a new Pinkie?

If the second would be the one, we could have RD find the real Pinkie, who she then hides from the others and tries to help regain her memories, because she doesn't like the other Pinkie and wants to get rid of her so the real Pinkie can get back. I could go on for a while...

Wow, you executed this concept WAY better than I did. You can just feel the creepy, cold vibe floating off the screen...
Wait, floating of the screen? Weird...I need a net now...

5967923 I do really like that idea! I might do something with it in the future, but really this story just came to me in a burst of inspiration; with the style I wrote it in, I'm not sure I can/want to do anything more than leave it as a one-shot.

5967860 I found it both terrifying and fascinating :)

Specifically, by terrifying, I mean that I sure as hell would not want that to happen to me. It's realistic, it COULD happen (in the show's canon, I mean), it raises a lot of moral issues. These kind of episodes are one of the best to write fanfics about, because the stories you can make out of them are 'big' event type things. This is murder. Or it's cloning. Or it's creating magical (possibly sentient) AI. The implications and possible story lines are endless (or at least, more endless than other episodes could be).

The way you depicted it, however, is dark, not because it's bloody, or gory, but because it's (sort of?) wiped Pinkie's mind, left her dead in the pool or just floating there, immortal (I'm not sure, you left an ambiguous ending). Pinkie's body (living or otherwise) will likely never be found. This fic is dark because the IMPLICATIONS of it are terrifying, which is part of why I liked it so much, and why it'd be SUPER cool if you'd somehow continue it! I mean, imagine, this Pinkie leaves the pool, returns home, knowing that Twilight and her friends basically killed all the other Pinkies and have been living with an impostor who passed an unfair, faulty test (the paint drying on a wall thing was BS lol, plus Rainbow Dash got so bored that in the end she DISTRACTED one of the Pinkies, all of which had rights to live!).

Either way, however, this fic was really good and the implications it brings up/reminded me of are especially terrifying. Thanks for writing it, please keep up the amazing work!

5967934 That's funny, because I believe your version is way better than mine! XD
It's just different styles, I suppose. I credited you in the author's notes since in hindsight I realize it really was your story (and the thumbnail I used) that inspired me.
Thank you for the nice words!

Oh, yeah, and you better catch that XD

5967958 Aww thanks for the kind words, they really make me happy to see that people like my stories ^_^
Fridge Horror.
That's the term for what you were describing; things that are terrifying when you think of the implications rather than what's on the surface.

5967938 It is all your choice really. Take my idea or leave it. If it get's left here I might do something of it in the future myself, but right now I'm too busy doing other stuff.

Well then. That was... touching...
Wow.

This is going on my "to-read" list. :pinkiesmile:

5969937 XD
gald you thought it was good!

Intriguing...

5970019 One word reviews, my favourite!
Really though I'm glad you found it....intriguing.

Terrifying yet beautiful

5970916 I'm glad you think so:pinkiesmile:

Ehhh... I can't say I'm a fan of this one. The repetition got old very quickly, and there simply wasn't enough new material introduced to reel me in. While I can see the appeal of sparse writing in some cases, this one lacked too much.

I was also somewhat thrown by the complete lack of paragraphs. Single line fragments generally don't jive with me unless they're offsetting a larger block of text; you can imagine why I found this style a tad dull.

5970988 It's fine, I expected to get a mixed response due to the simple fact the style I wrote it in is a love it or hate it kind of thing.
I actually didn't want to put as much repetition as I did, but the site has a 1000 word minimum...

I dont know how I should feel about this....I dont know how I feel
am I real? is this real? What is reality?!

5972048 XD you're not in the mirror pool, so don't worry about those things!

5973044
YOU DONT KNOW THAT THOUGH

5973613 yes I do because if you were you'd be like Pinkie is in this story owo

Very well made. So far many have beaten on your sparse word use, but it actually works here. We are unaware of how long she's been in the pool and many studies have shown that sensual isolation will degrade memories if held for extended periods. Further more, the lack of definitive description allows us to fill in the blanks; more often than not the imagined horrors are worse than the real facts. Well done indeed.

5975412 I hoped to invoke something like that with the style I chose.
Thank you ^_^
It really makes me happy to see people like what I've made! :twilightsmile:

Can I have my philosophy major now?

I couldn't wait for this to be over, not that it wasn't good, it was very good, but the constant scrolling down put a real strain on my eyes for some reason, and now my head hurts... But.... WORTH IT!

5975552 ...Because I just finished reading this incredibly thought-provoking (insert other philosophy/hipster adjectives here) story.:rainbowhuh:

5975591 XD I'm glad you liked it!
I wanted it to be a bit shorter, but there's a 1000 word minimum on this site...

5975597 Yes but what have you learned? XD
Okay sorry I just wasn't sure exactly what you meant by that joke at first ^^;
I really liked the comment though XD thank you :)

5975607 I've learned that...
uh...
I've written essays for English before, I can bs something now...
okay, divert question with question...
Does the memory define the self, or does the self create the memory?

5975712 That's totally exactly the answer I was looking for.

5967923 Perhaps the reason Pinkie Pie's behavior has been even less sensitive than normal? Scaring Fluttershy into running away and hiding in her room isn't normally something I would think Pinkie does.

5976892 Her flanderization in the first half of season 4 did always bug me, and you're nowhere near the only person to think of that possibility X3

5977079 I've somehow never managed to come across mention of that, although I admittedly don't spend much time on mlp sites other than FIMFiction. So thank you for sharing that.

Comment posted by ShadowKirby deleted May 15th, 2015

Odd. Feels very dark, and can get into your head and ache if you're not careful.

5986891 im glad I managed to invoke that :pinkiesmile:

For a one shot its not to bad :pinkiesmile:

5992203 I also noticed your story list.....

It seems you write a lot of sad stories with Pinkie Pie...

May I ask why?

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