• Member Since 18th Jan, 2015
  • offline last seen Yesterday

Inky Scrolls


What is life? Is it nothing more than the endless search for a cutiemark?

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Everypony has heard of the Elements of Harmony. Since their defeat of Discord, you can't get away from them! But fewer, far fewer, are those who know of the Elements of Discord - the ultimate sources of his power and desire to create chaos, and which were forced to find a new host after his redemption...

Chapters (4)
Comments ( 3 )

The concept has potential. If done right, it could in fact be an interesting read.

But this prologue, I'm sorry to say, is a real drag. You can tell me not to be put-off, but I still am, and I think you know it's not very good because otherwise you wouldn't have apologized for it. It's too long, it explains things that have already happened, and the language is waaay too pretentious. A good prologue or indeed a good first chapter hooks the reader in with something interesting right off the bat.

Don't be discouraged, though. If you think you've got a story to tell, then rework this and carry on and I'm sure people will appreciate it.

5862290 Hmm, I see what you mean! Thank you for your advice, I'll remember that for future stories. The rest of the story isn't like that at all, I'm not sure what came over me... :derpytongue2: If you feel like giving Chapter One a go anyway, it'd be much appreciated! :rainbowlaugh:

Yeah, 'fraid this has been cancelled. I just wasn't getting enough ideas for it or enjoyment out of it; I think I'll stick to shorter ones in future. Not sure why it's rated so badly though, I can at least be sure it is well-written (with the exception of the Prologue, which is overly longwinded).

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