• Member Since 26th Nov, 2011
  • offline last seen Aug 18th, 2022

Noir de Plume

~"If you want it to make sense, YOU say it."~


Elegant. Powerful. Talented. Mysterious. She is all these things.

At least, that's what she'd have you believe.

Sequestered in her Manehattan penthouse in self-imposed isolation, Noir hides from Equestria, maintaining her crown assigned duties as the city's Poet Laureate. Rumors of her gross deformity and the history of her fall from grace haunt her every waking moment. Plagued by events she cannot alter, Noir's mind has slipped into a world where fact and fiction blur. Solace is sought in drink and debauchery, and her magic has decayed to the most basic of skills. Protected by her diamond dog companion, it is only a matter of time before she tells one lie too many and finds herself utterly alone.

How can you correct the course of your fate when you only look to the past?

Artwork by the wonderful Omny87! **Image source title contains spoilers**

(Many thanks to Ps3luver for the generous loan of his OC Armistice!

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 37 )

This is great! I can't wait for more!

Interestingly subdued yet sinister, both in worldbuilding and characters. (Noir's penthouse kind of reminds me of the one from The Devil's Advocate.)


I cannot believe how well this was received. :heart: Thank you for taking the time to comment, you three.

And those of you who read it, thank you as well! :twilightsmile:

I cant wait to read more of this and get to know Noir better

with an indignant squawk, haunches in the air most unladylike.

This last section just doesn't flow right. Feels like it is missing a comma or words.

How easily you were being led to stable, or how awful that braying sound coming from your mouth is.

I do not feel the comma is necessary, the conjunction is enough.

Grecio nodded.
"Yes. My Lady Noir's penthouse is the top floor."

These two lines could potentially be together and joined with a comma.

Armistice felt somewhat humbled. There was money here.

My gut says that these should be connected with a semi-colon.

Manehattan's cityscape lay shimmering before her - so small from so high up.

You missed an em dash here, looks like you got it in a later sentence though.

I was to write into existence adventures and tales for ponies to undertake. I was to make Equestria's heroes.

This seems like she is able to override freewill. What is the limits of Noir's power?

The wing was ghastly - grossly deformed

Em dash here. —

"'The pony everypony should know,' "she snorted.

Quotation mark shouldn't have that space there, and the inner quote can go within the comma if you want. I also question if this line is alluding to Noir writing some of Twilight's friend's destinies.

"Really." She made another pained face.

I think this should start on a new line and have a comma after "Really".

Noir was clearly unbalanced - a powerful creature

Another em dash.

Noir's dreams were vivid .

Unneeded space.

and there was no telling how long she has been lost between worlds.

Would it be worlds? I thought it was more like states or realms. I wouldn't really call it dimensions though, hmmmm. This is a toughie.

Certainly the Princess would not allow her to remain a monstrosity for the millennia her life would now be.

Least that part worked, guess it is even more of a curse now.

Using her magic, the shimmering emerald aura—her magic was green now?!—lifted the feather

Surprised she hadn't tried it earlier. Though what color was it before?

She turned and offered herself teasingly as the Alpha made an enraged noise.

This seems to hint at mental instability when under pressure. Though we don't know what she was like before; however, it does seem to clash with the cowering in a cave bit. I guess it is just pony society that made her not think of ways to abuse her power/talent.

even performed for the normally combative minotaur who inhabited the lands surrounding Tartarus.

How close is that to Ponyville?

Millenia ago, when Celestia had assumed the throne

Before or after Luna?

The foolish attempt at alicorn magic, however, had been her downfall

Does this imply Armistice knows alicorn magic, despite there only being 2 or so alicorns when her city-state went into hiding?

"All magic was alicorn magic before the Sisters, Grecio." She met his eyes with an intensity that stopped his heart. "Equestria's ponies have the Sun, and the Moon. My people... we have Time."

Is there an explanation for the split? And what do you mean by "Time"? Is this implying they have delved more heavily into magic involving the manipulation of time and not hidden it away like Celestia has?

They were haunted, and ancient, with none of the playful gleam she had seen earlier that evening.

What do you mean by "ancient"? She is 19 years old, left home at 16 when it is customary to leave at 21.

she had demonstrated the truth of her abilities - she was the ladder out of his lady's bottomless pit of madness.

Em dash.

"One night, while lying awake in our lodgings - this penthouse had not yet been built - she turned to me in the dark."

Em dashes.

"Noir... was never meant to be an alicorn."

Despite what Celestia wanted. So does that mean it was destined to go wrong?

"No one this unstable can ever have that power,"

And what power is that? She already has a weird ability to change events.

"She was never Celestia's student... was she?"

Oooooooo, then who was, Sunset?

"She must have her reasons for spinning such a story..."

Maybe a desperate attempt to change events of the past with her talent; a lie she told herself to make some form of guilt eaiser?

"He has served me for over a hundred years."

"I'm five hundred years old,"

In the years after Princess Luna lost her mind to the Nightmare and was exiled to the Moon, Celestia sent scouts to all corners of Equestria, seeking talent.

I spent an untold amount of time - centuries, it must have been - trapped

For one hundred and seventy three years I have borne this monstrosity

Noir had spent nearly two hundred years in one city.

Knowing that much of her story being Celestia's student is a lie, that means a lot of these times could have been made up. Though I think Celestia would not have spent more than 100 years in the Everfree Castle since the damage in the fight with NMM still seems to be there.
This means Noir spent like 300 years lost from the world.

5918273 You're just gonna have to wait for Act Two. :twilightsmile:

You are a mean, mean mare.

This is a very good story. I've always wanted to write like this with a lot of detail and backstory. Your story is awesome anyways!

5925965 That's such a kind thing to say! I'm working on Act Two currently, so the adventures continue and the plot thickens. :raritywink:

5914422 I'm working on Act Two currently. :twilightsmile: It might be a little bit—I want to make sure I can present everypony with quality work.

*Finishes reading the first chapter.*

I have one foot in the door and I see things that made me nervous, from the beginning and down to the end. I didn't know what to expect but felt I should read this. There were parts that made me a bit uncomfortable but the story kept drawing me in. Now that it's over I want to know more about this story. Noir, you have made me curious and now I shall try to bare with the uneasiness of this story and trudge on; to find out what this epic of a tale has to tell.

Damn sis you did my OC RIGHT! Cannot wait til part two~ :twilightsmile:

Oh, wow. I'm very much liking your world building. I don't know what game Celestia is playing, but I will definitely wait to find out.

Poor Noir is just messed up. I wouldn't be surprised if she somehow doesn't even remember the truth.

Then again, it somehow feels like we're still missing a few details....

6255096 Don't worry. It's all coming, I promise. :twilightsmile:

6255018 Oh, thank you! This is the most back-story intensive tale I've undertaken as a writer, period, so I'm so excited that people are tolerating me! :twilightsmile:

This is very very very well written I hope to see more and what shall become of Noir.

6257086 Oh thank you!! That's so nice. Yes, I have it all down in notes; I promise I will finish this one.

And the chapter ends...

I took a while to actually start reading it, and in not even sure what to think of it. All I know is that I definitely enjoy it.

6258641 I appreciate so much you giving it a chance. :heart:

6258452 Suspense is a writer's greatest asset. :raritywink:

There are good authors on fimfic, there are great authors on fimfic...But you are an marvellous and amazing writer!:pinkiegasp:
It feels as if each words is choosen perfectly, as if the story simply was meant to be exactly how it is.:twilightsmile: It's always a delight to read your stories, Noir.:heart:

i would love to see this story finished

6597416 I'm actually posting Act II, Scene I tonight!

6597504 sweet, but may i ask how often do you think you will be posting i don't wish to start another story jus to wait 3 months for every new chapter

6597590 It's something I'm taking a lot of pride in, so there are gaps between chapters. I will be updating more consistently now that the entire plot is mapped—but I can't say with certainty a definite schedule of updates.

6597603 kk any idea of how many chapters will be in it?

6597937 cool ill start reading when you post the 4th act

Good to see that things are moving right along- and that Noir is at least trying to be decent. I have no idea where things will go from here, which is as it should be.

The plot thickens... jealousy arises. Can't wait for the next chapters :D

Oh my! This is a fantastic story thus far!!

whatever happened to this story it seems like it would be great but i guess it wont be finished

Well what's there is interesting...

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