Vergil, the son of Sparda has been living in the Demon World for some time now, but all that is about to change as he encounters a strange portal to another world. Devil May Cry crossover, post DMC1.
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[hide message]Just an average anime/video game/My Little Pony fan
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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a good story, I can't quite figure a fic with Vergil as a main character, but it will be interesting to read. tracking it.
Vergil, that name reminds me of Halo 3: ODST. Oh! That's the name of that A.I. that control's New Mombasa's Surveillance! That's actually a good name.
This. Is. Sparda!
You might want to check the contents of this story through a Word document.
There are several scattered spelling errors, lower-case that should be capitalized, and misplaced punctuation and pointing them all out in one comment would be overcritical of me.
Well, this is already a HUGE step ahead of the fic that inspired you, that I can say, mostly because the Son of Sparda in question is actually in-character!
However, it does have its fair share of stumbles:
1. You are capitalizing letters in words that don't have to be capped at all (for example: "proud and Sadistic Demon"; where the hay did you see the need to cap the last 2 words?).
2. You often use commas instead of periods.
3. The pacing is a bit too rushed to ignore.
I see potential in this, and the last thing I want is a story going to waste because of correctible flaws. Therefore, I'll be glad to proofread/spellcheck for you if you so wish.
Wow I gave inspiration
i302.photobucket.com/albums/nn105/walkseva/ManlyTearsHaveBeenShed.jpg
Awesome !
575014 ARRRGGHHH! CURSE YE WORDPAD,PUNCTUATION, AND GRAMMAR!
575631 *Le gasp you want to help?
For cereal, as you can see i am teh suxor at teh spellingz, so any help is much appreciated, granted you have free time to spend helping me. (God knows you don't have to spend any of your valuable time with ME of all people.)
575639 Tis an honor to have been praised by you good sir, I only hope I meet your expectations
575719 I mean it. And not just for the good karma! Er, wait... God, I've been playing too much Fallout.
*Ahem* in any case, I am actually rather picky about which fics I beta. Yours is really good, at least in my book If you're really interested, message me and we can discuss contact info and details.
575719
Hey yours can be better then mine in a heartbeat it is no trouble, just keep going..
Hell I don't care if anyone beat's mine, I am just glad their are more DMC Crossovers coming out, it ain't getting much love until now.
574077 arrr my friend tis true but devil may cry came before ODST and so we have a better vergil
TOO MANY TWILIGHT SMILES! HHHHNNNNNNGGGGGGGGG!
578001 Have an AJ then
I can Imagine Dante saying even more then that, probably torturing him with this hanging over his head.
I feel that you transformed Vergil's personality a little, its not a bad change, but idk. good first chapter, but i felt it was too short, but well, that is your style so keep on with it.
keep up the good work.
581194 well I imagine Vergil will be fairly happy, after all he just got back his favorite sword
581438
Well so and so...
Losing Force Edge and then Beowulf lol
But Yamato badass nonetheless
Oh Vergil... you poor, poor, bastard
"At least they weren't intolerable children, spouting off such nonsense as the 'magic of friendship'" If only you knew the truth Vergil.
578001
586401 Vegeta, what does the scouter say about the twilight smile level?
MOAR!
erm...please... I mean... if that's okay with you.
581557 I'm pretty sure Vergil has great reason to be happy being free of Mundus' slavery, and having Yamato. And about him being softer... I believe that's him giving Dante's way a try. He was defeated by the mortal-loving son of Sparda no less than four times after all.
617518
Yup
goood. Feed. Will consume.
want.
on the other hand, it seems of fairly good quality, whilst of course it is quite too early too tell due the story having just started.
Although I'd think Vergil would be more eviler (commenter uses bait grammar nazi! It's super effective!)
but then again this can could be chalked up to artistic license, and it is not overtly too much disturbing or irking.
Kudos on your fanfic, it is pretty good.
virgil meets the mane 6
I need moat chapter
never played DMC but demon stories are always interesting and I'm gonna follow and track this. I can tell this fic already has potential
Random word of the day: insane (What I am![seriously I am insane])
you still have some grammatical errors, for example: "I'm fluttershy..." you missed the capital F there buddy
Still, your story is looking better and better. I just want to know who the bad guy is going to be. Since I tend to think of Vergil as a villain.
cool
Well that sucks. But all that matters is at least you finished it. Right? RIGHT? anyway waiting for the next chapter
closet brony? that is why people call us gay.
718391
lololol too true, but do you have a better term?
718611
I wouldn't know, hidden brony? Anything but closet brony, we don't need terms for it.
That sucks for you. But that is funny though. Just right. next. to. you.
718611>>718669 how bout ninja brony? we are there but we are not seen right?
Anyways. good chapter and all, but, when is the conflict going to start?
keep up the good work.
btw: I'm also a (closet, hidden, ninja) brony. but I have been so awesome as to be reading or writing fiction with my brother, mother and father in the same room without they noticing. The trick is to watch your surroundings, and when it starts to get risky minimize all the windows, and keep a diferent browser open with facebook or some other website open to fake (for example: Google Chrome with Facebook and other non Pony stuff open, and Mozzila with pony stuf open)
719723
we? who's we. Everyone knows im a brony, my family, relatives, even my wife knows about it. and guess what, like the internet, no one gives a shit
719723 sheesh, you're really wanting to get right to the action huh?
well I don't know about the next chapter, but at most it will be chapter 5 where the ponies learn just how...skilled Vergil is with his blade.
but I digress, you may want to listen to this when that chapter comes http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=onwIcZt0-g4&feature=plcp
P.S Ninja brony is what I'm going to call people like myself now
719741
Why so serious gypsy?
719841
the game
719897
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-
i just lost the game
719927
thats what happenes when you think i give a fuck!
Man wait until Princess Celestia finds out Vergil is technically dead.(If the story is based around the events of DMC 1)
You have been forgiven but seriously update This story faster or I'm going to get cancer gameinformer.com/resized-image.ashx/__size/610x0/__key/CommunityServer-Blogs-Components-WeblogFiles/00-00-01-02-18/8267.that-post-gave-me-cancer.jpg shit to late
859862
TOO LATE
I DEMAND A BLOOD SACRIFICE AND A BURNT OFFERING FOR FORGIVNESS.
Lest you be cast into the deepest bowels of japan
860740 I REFUSE
861766
Then...Perish, ZA WARUDO!!!!!1
861791 no I can't perish I am immortality
861794
(EX Death Voice)
TO THE VOID WITH YOU
861803 no I refuse I am strong
862545
*Goes Maijin Form*
images.wikia.com/devilmaycry/images/b/bd/DT_MajinForm.jpg
GET IN THE VOID NOW!
863391
C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!