Started watching MLP, now I can't get enough of it.
This story is a sequel to A King Awakened
A year has passed since the attack on Canterlot. Twilight and her friends are off on a picnic near the forest, but are attacked by dozens of hungry Hydra. But when Twilight and her friends think they're going to die, HE, shows up again, and Twilight, her friends, and the princesses, are determined to know more about their savior.
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I like the intro keep going this is interesting
Man, eating all those chain fast-food places gave him a lot of weight.
POTATOS!!!!
5618927
5617903
What do you two mean?
5619267
The cover and the current version of him. You know it was made by a American studio when it looks like a overstuffed pig, the original which is Japanese, is much more sleeker. I prefer people write the original version but that is my opinion.
5619267 I mean potato's.
It's Angel. Just correcting.
I also need to say, I hope not every pony is not easily accepting to Godzilla. In your previous story you describe thousands of ponies where trample to death by the fight between Godzilla and Tirek. That not vary acceptable for someone or something being the hero. That the same problem with the 2014 movie, in the end people was to easily to accept Godzilla as the hero. Most who still see him as a threat because of all the destruction he cause and the people he kill during both the Hawaii's tsunami and The Golden Gate Bridge scene. I know Godzilla inadvertently save the pony. But they seem to got over the whole Tirek head falling upon them. That would have traumatize them, That was also out of nowhere with Pinkie handing over Tirek head over to Godzilla. Unless she the cupcakes Pinkie Pie, I can't say she would that bouncing after that traumatic experiences.
Don't get me wrong I enjoy reading your story, but could you really think about how your reaction would be and they're reaction would be before putting them into it. They have to have a realistic reaction to it. Not to mention sense He have heavy dose of Radiations around him. Show how dangerous to be around Godzilla, If he doesn't explained or show it. You're story have potential I just what to help you push more it into whatever story that interest me.
Ultimately it's your story. You decide where it goes,Take my advice with a grain of salt. I'm just throwing ideas for you so you're story can stand out from the rest.
5619698 Regarding your comments of G'14 I personally think that is going to be an issue that will be dealt with either in Godzilla 2 or Godzilla 3.
Thus the waiting for the updates begin!
ps: loved how you describe Godzilla charging up as a "Tesla" noise i may use that
Trouble seem to be brewing ahead for our heroines and the cutie mark crusaders.
Also I hope you start to make longer chapter instead of short length chapter it makes for both detailing and readers wanting more for reading.
Shit has hit the fan
Things are finally staring to get moving.
From the character color dialogue, I can see some Tarbtano influence in your writing. Yet you didn't color the princesses dialogue you might have gone all the way if you going to color dialogue for the individual characters.
Time for grammar check.
There suppose to be one 'That' in your writing, I'm guilty of doing that. But that was fast type error. You need to double check your writing.
Like I had before great chapter things are starting to move, but try to write more detail in your next chapters. You starting to improve in your writing now it to pace in both length and anticipation of building up story structure. You going to have people wanting more detail in pacing story structure, than mean more lengthy chapter with a couple of short chapter.
Also Like I said when you want art work it will take awhile, and give me more detail on what scene you want me to do.
Another grammar check.
Loose The 's' on Applejack.
AppleJack's
If there are more than one, you put an 's' at the end.
same verse, same as the first. But add an apostrophe at the end.
Same as the first.
That...was....Awesome!
It a good thing that you took your time, you did good to improved on the writing. The more longer you took the more your see your own grammar and type errors.
I most certainly enjoy this chapter much more.
If I do and art work of theses scene, please email me the detail on both the different Hydras, Mama Hydras, the final scene or whatever scenes you want me to draw for it. It help the artist to know what your vision for your story to look like.
Also one more advise don't throw everything at the first part of your story too soon. If you want your story to be longer you should keep the secret just a bit back.
You are also need to make sure they are story arc to help your story timeline. Like first story arc is start of the story adventure, Second story arc is the middle of the story and the third story arc is coming to the conclusions. Like listen to how Tarbtano and Johng117 how they does there story arc.
I might help you with your build up.
p.s. I might want to fix thing in your first chapter and look at your first story and see where you might want to improved on them.
It's suppose to be ' Suddenly, Pinkie fired her party cannon filled with.....CEMENT?!'
Ten bits says the newcomer is king ghidorah
5725587
You spelt 'Angel' wrong.
Not to be rude but im seeing spelling mistakes everythings and it feels like it's being rushed.
That's awesome , I hope the good Hydra children are still alive I hate to see they no longer they're with they're mother.
Nuclear Pulse detected.
Question: Update?
Waiting to read this until the first story is back up.
U should totally bring back A King Awakened. I liked that one bcuz Godzilla kills Tirek and saves Equestria