• Member Since 26th Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen 6 hours ago

Mesme Rize


Comments ( 31 )

with a cover image as adorkable as that how could you not get a million upvotes?.....

Nice. A hypnosis fueled roleplay piece. Pretty good as Sexy teacher scenes go.

Should probably tag as incest if it has them having sex.

5352558
Yeah, you're probably right. Fixed it.

You REALLY need to run a spellchecker pass. Should catch a lot of the errors and reduce down votes.

Otherwise, not bad. Another on the list of things I'll need to scrub out of my brain someday. :P

5352989
Alright, got through it now. Looks alot better now. :twilightsmile:
And glad that you liked it. It will probably haunt your dream for the next few days. :pinkiecrazy:

5353188 I've been on 4chan. :rainbowderp:

You aren't even close to that bad. Which is actually a good thing. :twilightoops:

Alright dude, I'm giving you a thumbs down for the poor grammer in the description. Once you fix that, I will read the story. If the story is good, I will give you a thumbs up.

By the time I read the spanking part, I figured the ending would have Shining admitting the hypnosis wore off after his first orgasm, he realized what was going on, and he was just playing along afterwards.

Bummer, could have been a funny ending...

Gotta love incest
Nice fic :v

Naja ich hab dir mein feedback ja schon auf Skype gegeben^^ Is gut geworden^^

5353819
Sadly I was hoping the same thing...but it never happened

A sequel to this including the whole mane six would be purely epic!

5353819
5355277

Sorry. I guess you can't make everybody happy. :pinkiesad2:

5355498

The problem is, i don't know how to make it different then this. :rainbowderp:

5355738
what if the mane six were each given a kinky activity or fetish to research/practice, and then they have a class-wide "show and tell" that results in a large sexy class party?

I noticed a lot of comma splicing.

This was painful to read. I got 1500 words in and the entire time I saw several grammar and spelling mistakes, not to mention Twilight and Shining were hella OOC. This thing looks like it was half arsed without any regards as to fleshing out the characters and other edits etc.

Comment posted by ATLAfan96 deleted Dec 11th, 2014

...No, just...no. This is wrong on a multidude of levels; first there's the grammar and spelling which I didn't notice until I read it over. The concept of hypnotizing a lover has been done before, and better, the only difference is that this one is much creepier and the partner isn't consenting. Twilight basically just found a way to get around rapping her own brother, and that's not cool.

5389827 img4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20091111121623/gurennlagann/images/c/c5/Kamina_sunglasses.jpg
Excellent! You write because you want to and you don't give a f:yay:k who you offend. That is the sign of a good author, you have earned my appreciattion.

The wings are a very sensitive spot for Twilight, so it really increased her horny level.

You lost me at the cum drinking part sorry.

Author's Note:
WARNING: THE FOLLOWING FIC YOU'RE ABOUT TO READ IS FILLED WITH KINKS, THAT ONLY CAN COME FROM THE DIRTY MIND OF HYPNOSPARKLE. HYPNOSPARKLE IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANYTHING THAT HAPPENS TO THE READER OF THE STORY.


Me thinks me can handle this after all me mind is forever in the deepest pits of the gutter

5759182

In that case, let me guide you even deeper. :twilightsmile:

I was about to do a little 'thing' myself but then my dad walked in. :fluttercry:

It's sad that shining armor had to forget it. 'Forget' commands... *grumble grumble*. It seems really risky to do a forget command that important with a first time 'victim' though, I wonder if he really forgot completely.

great story *upvote*

Nice roleplay fic.

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