After an unexpected effect from the Elements of Harmony, Discord becomes a Draconequus foal and Fluttershy is the only one forgiving enough to give him a second chance, evading guards, the princesses and Twilight, she tries her best to bring her lessons to Discord, hoping that something great will come of it
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I love it! It is a good solid base for a story with a load of potential. Well done!
Insert obnoxious comment comparing your work to Past Sins here.
Flutters should have punched the guard and ran
The editing could do with a lot of work, but other than that color me intrigued.
lookin good
501038 that would be REALLY out of charecter.
This is looking good, though you should get a prereader to find typos and errors for you.
It's really cute so far. I can't wait to see what you have planned for the rest of the story.
The dawww factor is too high!
I think it is a cute basis for a story, and something Fluttershy would actually do, can't wait to see how this plays out
It works! Will want to read more of this soon!
Sounds strangely like this.
this is going to be great! can't wait to actually start reading it!
also props to the artist of the cover pic! it's absolutely amazing!
This is rushed as heck, and has a good many typos and comma splices. The plot is awesome though, and the characterization...not much to judge by, but seems good so far...so I shall fav this.
I really think you need to slow down and explain things a bit more...particularly the part where the guards first take Discord. You don't tell us why they want him, or why as Twilight says "it's for the good of Equestria." That left me sitting there going, "So, what?...Are they going to kill him or something?" Apparently "or something" lol. You also don't explain anything about this prison, how Fluttershy knows where it is, or what the heck Nightmarium is (but honestly, that at least half works as something to keep me wondering enough to keep reading, so...do as you like with that, but for pity's sake, give me an explanation at some point, don't just tease me with that kind of stuff, agh!) You don't describe the prison at all when Fluttershy's there, which a. makes it difficult to imagine the scene and b. leaves me without key information in discerning whether or not Fluttershy made the right choice in my opinion. Also, why does everyone assume that Fluttershy actually wants to keep Discord just based on her hugging him? It just seems to me that you have this very specific plot in mind and you're such a hurry to make it happen that you risk leaving your readers behind, because you know where you're going but we don't...
Anyway, hope that doesn't sound too harsh...I just tend to ramble on like that, hehe.
And I really do think it's great besides that one problem...
wha...bu....guh...lord of chaos? a child again? WHAT IS THIS MADDNESS!!!....oh wait it's discord
511578
Yeah, a lot of that could probably be explained in the next couple of chapters. I actually am working on a fan-fic that I haven't posted yet, and my pre-readers were giving me similar complaints. I half did things the way I did intentionally, half unintentionally as it's just flowing from my head for the most part.
As for you, author, you really need to fix that giant paragraph where she decides what to do. Seriously, most of that is a giant run on sentence. Makes it harder to read.
Other than those two things, it looks good. I want to see more.
Very good. Like wind whistler said, things need to be explained more. I will track and see what happens.
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I disprove the use of my father in this way but its actually pretty good, we speak of this to nopony.
511578
I agree with this, and I'd also like to echo that this is a very rough story. You should go back and edit a bunch of things. Look at other people's fanfics and use their formatting as a guide.
I like the concept a lot. Its still very rough around the edges but I will follow with the hopes that these issues get corrected.
wow hope to see more of this
its soo great :3