Based on Cupcakes. When something happens that no one can foresee the mane cast will learn just how far fear can affect their group.
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- Member Since 5th Nov, 2011
- offline last seen Dec 11th, 2023
Cyron757
I'm your average guy who likes FiM. I love the show for its humor and clever writing.
Cyron757
Joined 5th Nov, 2011 ·
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Ah yes, seems someone rated you a .5 before realizing that this is a heartwarming subversion of Cupcakes. Let me fix that for you. Well, just a little.
that was quite a nice read
you son of a bitch. the ending scared me half to death
but honestly, i loved the whole story. pretty amazing man 
33017
Yeah, I'm guessing a lot of people see the warning at the beginning and immediately freak out, but it is what it is. Thanks for reading the story and taking the time to leave a reply!
33756
Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed the story!
34655
In all seriousness, I wasn't sure about the ending when I was drafting the story, so comments like yours make me feel like I did an okay job. Thanks for the review, and take care!
I've never felt so happy from being insulted before. Something must be wrong with me.
Oh, the tension;
the tension.
I kept thinking that something very bad would happen near the end.
I am impressed at the amount of detail (Emotional and otherwise) that you put into this conversion of the dreaded "Cupcakes"
you also tie it in well with actual episode references (before and after).
I would never have thought that such a concept could possibly be turned to having a happy ending simply by adding more text.
But you have done just that.
Well done.
That's one heck of a fanfic you have here. Much longer and much better than the original I think.
Glad it turned out as happy ending. 
I think that if "Cupcakes" focused more on the psychological side of the story like you did instead of the violence and gore it could be actually worth reading. You even gave it a plot which was non-existent in the original and wrote it well with good pace that suits it just fine at least it did for me.
You got me woried at the end several times though. Everytime Pinkie started to act strangely I feared there's something sinister behind it after all.
when I read this fic, it was rated at 3.9 stars, but I thought it was deserving of at LEAST four and a half. It was incredibly heartwarming, and after I finished the first 30% or so with the dream, I just loved it. I even almost went all
when Pinkie was hugging Rainbow.
Speaking of the first 30%, in my humble opinion, I would find a way to trim that down to maybe 400 words. I read cupcakes once and I really didn't want to read it again, especially not in the first person; In fact, I almost abandoned this story and gave it 2 stars, thankfully, though, I just skipped ahead to the end of rainbow's dream. The only reason I'm asking you to hack apart rainbow's dream is because I don't want anypony to be turned away from this fantastic piece of writing without reading the whole thing.
You, sir, have taken something I absolutely hate and turned it into a simply fantastic story. Amazing job
86372
Thanks for replying and for leaving such great feedback. While I would really love more people to read the story, I don't think I will be doing any excessive editing to it. When I first began to write the story I knew it would pretty much be made of two parts: the dream-like sequence would represent the first half, while Rainbow Dash coming to terms with the whole ordeal would take up the second part of the story. I know a lot of people hate Cupcakes, myself included, but that's the whole reason behind this story, to take that original story and hopefully change how it seemed to ruin Pinkie Pie for a lot of people. The point wasn't just to make a cheap Cupcakes imitation, something I have absolutely no desire to ever do, but to tell a story that showed a redeemable side to such an atrocious story. It's for that reason that there's almost no gore in the story nor any mention of it except when it is needed to further the plot (which only happens twice, and is not explicitly described to the point where it beats readers over the head). The whole first part of the story serves to set up the second act, showing us Rainbow Dash's fear firsthand as well as putting the reader in a position to sympathize with both her and Pinkie Pie, who remains unaware of what is happening to one of her close friends.
That being said, if I could somehow find a way to remove the more horrifying parts of the story, sum the whole dream sequence in 400 words, and still keep the impact it could cause to Rainbow Dash and the viewers, I would do so with no hesitation. Sadly, I can't do all of them. If I could I would have done so from the very beginning when I first wrote the story. A lot of thought went into the development of the story and what things would be added and what would be kept out from the original story. The warning at the beginning of the story serves not to challenge readers in a "read if you dare" fashion, but to let them know what they were getting into. I did not promise it would be a smooth ride, but hopefully the bittersweet ending (to me, at least) would leave a sense of hope within readers that everything would work out in the end.
Wether I edit it or not, there will still be people who will take one look at it, see that it is based on Cupcakes, and not bother to read it or give it a low rating. There's nothing I can do about that, and I can't be mad at the people who would do so for they have the right to their opinion. The story is not for everyone, and for that reason I am extremely grateful to those who do take the chance to read it. If I could change the way at least one person saw the events regarding Cupcakes and give them a more satisfying resolve at the end of the tale, then I have done my job in writing the story.
>>Cyron757
I see your point, and, if you, as the author, think that the reader really needs that shock value in order for this story to be fully complete, you're right; anyways, you did a fantastic job of delivering it: when I finished the dream sequence, I felt like I was refilling my burning lungs with air after laying at the bottom of a lake for a few minutes. Moreover, it's very mature of you to say, "one person saw the events regarding Cupcakes and give them a more satisfying resolve at the end of the tale, then I have done my job in writing the story." and if that's what goal is, you've certainly achieved it.
"The point wasn't just to make a cheap Cupcakes imitation, something I have absolutely no desire to ever do"
Your dream sequence was immeasurably better than cupcakes, it was certainly not a cheap imitation. I can't believe I accidentally said that it was in first person... but the third-person limited point of view lends a ton to the emotion of the scene. Even though I skipped over the last portion of it, I only did so because I wanted to see if there was anything else to the story worth reading. Nonetheless, I clearly remember that the way you painted the scene; not only did you make it much more pleasant to read (via a reduced amount of gore), but the way you explored and portrayed Rainbow's emotions made it many times more desperate and heartwrenching than the original cupcakes. I read this late at night, so I guess I just wasn't able to appreciate the hard work that you put into the dream sequence. Re-reading it during the daytime set me straight.
I guess we can just say that the people who take one look at it and give it a low rating based on its origin are really missing out on a fantastic and heartwarming fic.
Random side thought:
did cupcakes REALLY "ruin" pinkie for people? Pinkie would NEVER do that, and if they knew the character at all, they would realize that. After I got done reading cupcakes, I was thinking "Pinkie would NEVER do that. What an unrealistic sack of horseapples."
Your version of pinkie is accurate. Me gusta.
88719
I've read a lot of comments about how disturbing it was to read Cupcakes because of how it portrayed Pinkie Pie. Personally, the story didn't affect how I really saw the character, but it seems like it did for a lot of people even when knowing that it was just a fanfic. It was really the main reason why I considered writing this story in the first place, so it means a lot that you liked her portrayal.
This story really made me cherish mlp more since i thought the original cupcakes ruined it for everypony out there, great job.
93487
Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed the story. Let's hope the show stays as amazing as it's always been in the future
Fantastic story, worthy of my 5 stars!
About that ending......you SOAB you scared me half....no 95% to death!
101409
I can't imagine why 
Glad you enjoyed it! It seems like I've been scaring a lot of people almost to death with the ending.
cupcakes didn't ruin pinkie pie for me. stories like that seem so out of character that I can never see it happening so it doesn't seem real to me or change how I see a character
but still amazing read
Of Cupcakes and Rainbows=Cure from cupcakes
THANK YOU
116510
Cupcakes never really ruined the show for me, but like I mentioned in a previous comment it did seem to ruin how many people saw Pinkie Pie. I think the scariest part of the whole fic was how the portrayal of Pinkie Pie seemed so believable. But maybe that's just me. In any case, fan reaction was the main point behind the making of this fanfic. Thanks for commenting, and I'm glad you enjoyed the story 
As Pinkie Pie would say: "That's what I said!"
118052
Just be careful when you stumble upon any more "baked goods". They might just be "baked bads" 
I'm glad you enjoyed the story.
Wow. The ending scared the shit out of me. Literally.
129673
Anyways, thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed the story 
It seems like the ending is having that effect on a lot of people. Well, hopefully not on a literal sense
YOU JUST CURED MY FEAR OF CUPCAKES. THANK YOU!!
and that ending wuz the best part. I can't wait to tell all of my other brony buddies about your amazing story. 
132489
Thank you for giving the story a chance. I'm glad you enjoyed it
132673
Thanks for the review and for taking the time to read the story. As the author's notes state, whether readers love it or hate it doesn't matter; in the end you took the time to read it, and that means a lot. And if the story left you with mixed feelings then I personally think that's great. If the story can convey many different emotions and leave the reader feeling drained from the ordeal once it's over then I know I did a good job.
Or something like that. Pinkie Pie understands me
Brilliantly done. You managed to take the greatest cop-out in writing, "it was all a dream", and apply it in such a way that it's not a cop-out at all. When I realized it was a dream, there was no face-palm or groan -- my first thought was simply "what a bloody awful way to wake up". So, well done on that count. I'm still not entirely sure how you managed it, but you did.
I hated cupcakes -- not because of its characterization of Pinkie, which I found frighteningly plausible -- it was just too gory for my taste. Your version is far more of a 'psychological thriller' than an outright gore-fest, and never felt unnecessarily detailed. There were a few cringe-worthy moments, but nothing that left me trying to clean the remnants of my dinner from my cat's coat.
I'll second all the 'nice ending' comments. For a few lines there, I thought... how should I phrase this... "oh ffffffffffffff
"
I haven't read this yet and I'm going to go some where (i forgot the name of the place
) and the read later button isn't working so I am going to add it to my favourits for now.
That was very well placed together, I loved it. I know this is weird, but my little pony makes me want to work out hard to epic music. As this story as influenced me to a degree. Thank you.
Why work out? Because stories like this, and the show, remind that there is something to fight for, whether it be friends, or yourself.
I love it so much
1985250 Thanks! I'm glad you liked the story
You, sir
and/or madam, are truly a gentleman and a scholar.This was a most exquisitely crafted work; perhaps one of the best I've ever read.
Additionally, your grammar was very good. If memory serves, you even used a semicolon!
116510 I never was scared of Cupcakes either. (Except for the part when I didn't wanna go to sleep.)
What really (kinda) freaked me out was Sweet Apple Massacre.
Pinkamena iz mah bust frund!
I'm sech a mozing spiller!
(I'm such an amazing speller)
whoa dude. havent started reading yet, but 20,000 bucking words all in one, no chapters..
THAT WAS THE SWEETEST THING EVER
OMG CHOKE BACK THE TEARS CHOKE BACK THE TEARS
#Best story ever
I was going to make an aftermath based on the original story but this had blew my mind. Add it to the favorite :P
11 out of 10 Rainbow laugh
Don't cry Rainbow Dash *hugs you til your bones are crushed*
Must. Stop. WATERWORKS.
this was so beautiful...
although the ending when pinkie pie held out that cupcake I kinda held my breath hoping it was what I hoped it was so that the ending didn't end with gore
That was adorable! I share your same opinions about trying to redeem the characters, and this did it greatly!
All throughout the story, I was wondering if you were going to pull a double twist at the end, like 'Thank goodness Dash didn't believe those dreams, she might have found out' or 'she really did do that' ! But in glad you didn't, and the way you pulled the gag at the end was PERFECT!
Thanks for writing this. It gives me peace of mind after reading 'Cupcakes'. Now I can see Pinkie as her usual happy-go-lucky self again. :)
I really enjoyed this fic. And you're writing is detailed, and actually has cause and effect. You have skill, the original one was just a gory plot. You describe things and give the reader a mental 'movie'. Nicely done! Ending is much better than the original one too. Thnx youz so much!
Wow.... cupcakes s my favorite mlp creepy pasta. I loved how you made it a dream. Super creative!
This was so good! Buuut, I never hated Pinkie after Cupcakes. Whatever creepypasta I read, I always remind myself that its just a fanfiction. But still this was awesome!!
This explains EVERYTHING!
That what Cupcakes really was... Just a dream of a certain blue Pegasus with a Rainbow mane and tail. Legend says so... Lol. Love the story and loved how the characters was kept in line during the whole story; the climax was neat O. must've took awhile to make; Man... I'm late to read this fantastic story.
Wow awesome story!
The Ending was really like "omg!!!!! Is she going to kill her now?! " Like a double twist ..ahhh !! XD
This is one of my favourite stories on the site. Honestly it might be my favourite in general.
This was great. Granted, I always loved Pinkie. I love Cupcakes, too. Just the way that someone can make something bright and colorful and just turn it so dark, it always intrigued me. But seeing people taking that darkness and turn it light again, it is also really intriguing to me. Keep writing.