I'm your average guy who likes FiM. I love the show for its humor and clever writing.
After the battle against the invading changelings is won, Twilight believes that everything is fine. A dose of reality proves her wrong, and she must now come to terms with thoughts that plague her mind regarding the fake Princess Cadence and the one she remembers from long ago.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Looks interesting! I'll post about it when I finish reading
Edit: And sorry, I just couldn't resist >:D
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Aww... I'm such a sucker for these kinds of gooshy emotional fics.
Very well written. You captured Cadence's relationship with twilight perfectly.
thumbs up and added to favorites.
Ok, one thing that bugged me: The people of Canterlot
Ponies. There are no people in Equestria. There are ponies.
Also, Thankfully no one had been seriously hurt, and care had already been provided to those who had been unfortunate during the outbreak of the swarm.
That sentance is a little bit awkward. It might just be me being nitpicky, but I think it would be worded better as this: those who had been unfortunate enough to be hurt or as those ponies who had been hurt would've been simple enough, and not as awkward sounding.
Some stories, including some of mine I admit, overuse the name of the character, but in this fanfiction it is exactly the opposite. You don't use Twilight's name enough, in my opinion, or if you think adding her name any more would be overusing, instead of just "her" and "she" you could use words descriptive of her. An example: The purple unicorn. Of course, this is just my opinion.
If her organizing skills proved to be correct – and when were they not – the wedding would be back on schedule by that afternoon. This sentence doesn't really make sense. "And when were they not" My brain just can't make sense of that, but if you puzzle over it a while, you probably can. But readers want to easily understand sentences, so this should really be worded differently.
Also, you say Princess many times when referring to Celestia or Cadence with a lower case "p". This is incorrect as the title is used as a name, so the "p" should be upper case.
In my opinion, the story moved a little too fast on the explaination of Twilight's doubts part. You could have fleshed it out and explained a bit more there.
Overall, this was a pretty good short story, and very cute. I'm just a little bit of a Grammer Nazi and all, but yes, I liked this very much.
Lovely little add in on the last episode. Made it more full and was true to the characters.
So heartwarming; I love seeing these sorts of interactions between Twilight and Cadance.
Favorited!
515131
Ponies are people... My definition for a person is any living being with conscious thought and free will.
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i feel like twilight has become princess twilight sparkle since princess cadence married to shining armor..
515260
I guess you could say she's...
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The real Twilight Princess.
I liked this story. I was waiting for someone to write a story that went more in depth on Twilight and Cadance's relationship. It made me feel happy
.
515131
I love how you didn't catch this.
In the end the real Princess Cadence had rejoined her brother and together they had managed to quell the invasion of changelings that rampaged through the city.
it makes Shining Armour sound like he's Cadence's brother.
515039 Aren't we all?
515078 Thanks! I tried writing based on what I thought their bond would be, since it's only slightly mentioned in the show. It leaves a lot of room for people to get creative, and I can't wait to see other people's take on similar events.
515131 Thanks for the feedback.
I did a small edit to the story after realizing that most of the things you pointed out were correct (blame my brain being fuzzy with the confusing writing). The only thing I disagree with is the use of the word "princess". Unless it is used with the name, it is simply a noun and cannot be capitalized. I'm glad you enjoyed the story overall, and I thank you for giving it a chance.
P.S. Check your comment again. "Sentance" is not supposed to have an "a" in it.
515195 I'm glad you enjoyed it.
515201 I like the interaction, too. I just wish we could have seen more of it before the season ended. What do you think chances are of the writers giving her more screentime when the new season begins?
515219 I agree, but in this case it does seem incorrect to use the word "people". For some reason it's kind of like a jarring note and seeing it written in a pony fanfic breaks the illusion created by the story. It was not intentional on my part and just kind of slipped by me. I hope you still enjoyed the story anyways
515253 Umm...thanks? No, really, thanks for reading and commenting. I hope you enjoyed the story
515322
515609 I'm glad you enjoyed it. Hopefully more people will write about the pair in the near future.
515729 Can you think of any way to alter that sentence without making it redundant so that it's not as confusing? Wait a minute...I recognize that face! Stop spamming my stories, Trollestia!
516710 I will say, those lines always get me, but after some thought, I figured the best way to alter the line would be, Put Shining Armour First, then Cadence.
eg. In the end, Her brother was able to reunite with the REAL Princess Cadence...
You can use that line if you want, I was just giving you an example of the best way to change it.
So what was the other reason cadence agreed to marry shining armor?
564364
Go watch the last five minutes of A Canterlot Wedding, Part 2 to find out
That was awesome!
You'd think Twilight would have doubts about her brother and Celestia since they scolded her for trying to protect Shining Armor.
2617980 There is a fanfic called 'Bitterness' which could be to your liking. :)
Second mother? Cadence is more of a pseudo-older sister to Twilight.