Chapter 11: Chocolate Rain
Canterlot was an ancient city, and it had certainly seen its share of parties. As the capitol of Equestria – and the home of many of the nation’s most upper-class citizens – it was not at all unusual for it to host stately celebrations. For example, every year Canterlot hosted the Grand Galloping Gala. That celebration was a regal affair that bored pretty much everypony, but it was quite important all the same. Everyone who was anyone made it a point to be there.
However, the party that Pinkie Pie threw that night was completely different. For one thing, it was done in classic Pinkie Pie style. Pinkie knew how to throw a party, and there was nothing particularly stately or dignified about them. She had one thing in mind, and it wasn’t being dignified or proper or following all the right high-class social cues: no, she was there to cut loose and have fun.
How Pinkie was able to put together such an extravagant party in just a few hours was one of the great mysteries of life – but then, Pinkie herself was a great mystery. Celestia agreed to host the party on the castle’s grounds, and Pinkie went all out. There were streamers, and ribbons, and cakes, and balloons, and hats, and even cannons – party cannons, to be precise.
The music was not the least bit refined. Pinkie somehow managed to contact Vinyl Scratch, and she showed up with her own brand of high-energy entertainment. Vinyl knew how to rock a party, and this time Equestria truly had something to celebrate. Not only had harmony been restored in Equestria, but Luna had been healed and could raise the Moon once again. Not only was Twilight back from the dead, but so was Trixie. Everything was exactly as it should be – if not just a little bit better.
Rarity managed to retrieve their party dresses from Ponyville in time for the grand celebration, and she made sure that everyone looked fabulous. Trixie wore the magician’s hat and cape that Rarity had given to her a few days ago. The Elements were all the guests of honor, but they were far too busy to spend their time sitting around and listening to boring speeches. They were there to have fun. It was time to melt away all the stress, frustrations, and sadness of the previous month – so that’s exactly what they did.
* * * * *
Twilight and Shining Armor were standing by a palace window, laughing and talking. It was early evening and Luna’s moon was high in the sky. The night sky was perfectly clear, except for a few scattered cotton candy clouds that were raining chocolate milk.
“I can’t believe Pinkie actually talked Discord into making those for her,” Shining Armor said, laughing. “He’s been remarkably helpful lately.”
“He really has,” Twilight agreed. “I think that this time he has changed – in his own chaotic way. When Celestia first brought him to us and asked us to reform him, I thought she was crazy. How could you possibly reform the living embodiment of chaos? But I have to say she was right. If we had left him encased in stone, I wouldn’t be standing here right now.”
“I just can’t believe you’re really back,” Shining Armor said. “We thought we had lost you forever. I missed you terribly, sister. Please don’t ever do that again.”
“Hear, hear,” Spike said. The young dragon walked up to them and looked out the window. “You know, it’s awfully nice to see Luna raising the Moon again. I thought those days were over. Things have been kind of terrible lately.”
Twilight picked up Spike and hugged him. “They’re not terrible anymore, my number one assistant! That is, as long as you’re willing to leave your fabulous life of luxury in the Crystal Empire and come back home with me. I know it will be hard for you to leave your legions of admirers, but…”
“There is no place I’d rather be than with you,” Spike said. “Oh, don’t get me wrong – the Crystal Empire is nice and all. But it’s just not the same.”
“I’m glad to hear that,” Twilight said. She turned to her brother. “Thanks for taking care of Spike while I was gone. I really appreciate it. I’m glad he had someone to watch over him who loved him.”
“Oh, it wasn’t any trouble at all! We were glad to have him. Fortunately, he didn’t need to save the Crystal Empire a third time. Although if the Necromancer had made it to our gates, I’m sure Spike would have put him in his place.”
“You’d better believe it,” Spike muttered.
Twilight laughed. It was good to be home.
* * * * *
Vinyl Scratch had just finished playing another song, to a chorus of cheers from the audience. The upper crust of Canterlot was a bit too stodgy to appreciate her music, but there were thousands of ponies in town who knew good music when they heard it – and they loved every minute of it.
Pinkie Pie grabbed a microphone. “All right, everypony, who’s got a request? What would you like to hear next? We’ve got all night, folks!”
When dozens of ponies raised their hooves, Pinkie scanned the crowd intently. “Hey – you over there. Blue pony in the crazy hat! Get over here.”
“What?” Trixie asked, startled. “Are you talking about me?”
“You better believe it! Get your hooves up here on stage!”
Trixie looked puzzled. “But Trixie doesn’t dance.”
“Oh sure you do! Everypony can dance. Now c’mon! Everypony, let’s hear it for the Great and Powerful Trixie, the hero of Equestria!”
As the crowd cheered, Trixie walked up onto the stage and stood beside Pinkie. “All right. Now what?”
“Now Trixie is going to do a magic trick for us,” Pinkie announced. “She is going to turn into me!”
“What?” Trixie gasped. “But – why?”
“Because the only thing better than one of me is two of me! C’mon – I know you can do it. Let’s give these ponies a great show!”
Now that’s something I can do, Trixie thought. She used her magic to levitate her hat and cloak onto a nearby chair, and then lit her horn up. A moment later she transformed into Pinkie. The two looked exactly alike.
The crowd gasped, and the real Pinkie smiled. “Ok, Pinkie-number-two, do you know the smile song?”
“We’ve sang it three times tonight,” Trixie pointed out.
“Then let’s make it four. Hit it, Vinyl!”
* * * * *
Applejack, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash were sitting at a table. They watched with great amusement as Trixie did her best imitation of Pinkie Pie.
“You know, she’s pretty good,” Rainbow Dash commented. “She’s really not a bad Pinkie.”
Rarity spoke up. “Well, Trixie is a professional entertainer, you know! She knows what she’s doing.”
“Speaking of entertaining ponies, how is Sweetie Belle doing these days?” Applejack asked.
“Oh, she’s fine! In fact, I think she and her little crusader friends are around here somewhere. She can be a bit difficult to keep track of sometime.”
“Tell me about it! Apple Bloom is supposed to be here too, but I haven’t seen her for more than an hour. There’s no tellin’ what kind of trouble she’s gettin’ herself into.”
Rarity smiled. “Things finally are back to normal, aren’t they? In the morning we’ll all take the train back to Ponyville and then resume our normal lives. I’ll go back to dressmaking, you’ll go whack some apple trees, and Rainbow Dash will spend her time taking naps.”
“Just like old times,” Applejack said, grinning.
Rainbow Dash pretended to be offended. “Hey now – I do way more than just nap! Who do you think is responsible for all that great weather you get? I’ll have you know that us weather pegasi don’t get nearly the recognition we deserve.”
Applejack grinned. “And you tell us about it every single day – that is, when you’re not busy tellin’ us how awesome you are.”
Rainbow Dash blushed. “Aw, c’mon. I’m not that bad.”
Rarity tried to hide a smile. “Of course not. We’re just having some innocent fun at your expense.”
“I sure could use some fun,” Rainbow remarked. “This past month has been awful. That blasted Necromancer ruined everything.”
Applejack shook her head. “Actually, Rainbow, he didn’t. Now, I agree we’ve been facin’ some terrible villains lately, but the Necromancer was really small potatoes. We beat him every time we fought him, and Trixie blasted him apart the first time she met him. He really wasn’t much of a threat.”
“Not much of a threat!” Rainbow exclaimed. “He nearly killed us all!”
“Nope. You’ve got it all backwards. Remember, the Necromancer was trapped in his world. There was nothing he could do to get back to Equestria – that is, until Celestia went dark and poisoned us all. She’s the one who broke the harmony and allowed him in. Then once he was here, Celestia did everything in her power to persecute Trixie – the one pony who could actually defeat him. Celestia was so determined to not help Trixie that she nearly got Luna killed. Celestia caused this entire problem! She’s been the real villain of this whole mess. None of this would have happened if it hadn’t been for her.”
“I guess you’re right,” Rainbow Dash said slowly. “But at least Celestia did change at the end. She really did try to help.”
“Which brings us to the second villain,” Applejack said. “I really hate to say this, but–”
“I know,” Rainbow interrupted. Tears began to form in her eyes. “It was me, wasn’t it? I knew all along that Trixie wasn’t really responsible for Twilight’s death, but I refused to forgive her. I was horrible to her. Then when the time came, we tried to activate the Tree of Harmony – and because of me it didn’t work. That meant Trixie had to defeat the Necromancer alone, even though it killed her. I did all of that. She would never have died if it hadn’t been for me.”
“It’s all right, dear,” Rarity said, putting a hoof around her friend. “That’s all behind us now. Everypony has forgiven you, and everything is as it should be. There’s no need to dwell on the past.”
“I’ll make it up to Trixie if it takes me the rest of my life,” Rainbow said firmly. Her eyes lit up. “Hey – maybe I can teach her to fly!”
“She doesn’t have any wings,” Applejack pointed out. “That’s gonna make flying a mite difficult.”
“Couldn’t she just turn into me? After all, she turned into Twilight, and Twilight had wings!”
Applejack shook her head. “I asked her about that. She said that when she transforms like that, the wings are just a magical construct – an illusion. They ain’t actually real and don’t actually work. Trixie can’t fly any more than I can.”
“Well, that’s a real bummer. I’ll have to think of something else.”
Rarity pointed a hoof at the stage. “Do you see Trixie up there?”
Rainbow looked at the two Pinkies, who were dancing and singing their hearts out. “Yeah. So?”
“Does Trixie look sad to you?”
“Not really.”
“Then I really wouldn’t worry about it. I think she’s perfectly fine. All you need to do is be your normal, friendly self – only maybe 20% less arrogant. Oh – and try not to sell Trixie into slavery in exchange for a book. I don’t think she’d appreciate that at all.”
Rainbow Dash facehoofed. “C’mon, guys. That was one time! Why does everypony think I’m going to do that again?”
“Because it’s downright hilarious,” Applejack laughed.
* * * * *
From the back of the ballroom, Celestia and Luna watched over the festivities. Everyone was happy. The crowd was having a great time, the Elements were smiling again, and there was peace. The dark cloud that had hung over the land was finally gone – not just from the sky, but from the hearts as well.
Luna spoke up. “I think Trixie proved herself rather well, don’t you? She’s certainly not the pony she used to be.”
“She did far better than I did,” Celestia replied. She sighed. “Oh, Luna. What’s wrong with me?”
“So you made one mistake in a thousand years. Everyone has their off days.”
“Not monarchs. When I have an ‘off day’, as you call it, ponies die and the land is destroyed. And it is not simply one mistake, either. I haven’t forgotten the role I played in your downfall. I did not treat you as you deserved, nor did I take any steps to save you when you started to fall.”
“That was a long, long time ago. I don’t think you would make the same mistake again.”
Celestia shook her head. “No. This time I made a much worse mistake – one that nearly killed you. When I finally realized what I had done, it was too late. I could not save Equestria – just as I could not stop Discord, or Queen Chrysalis, or Tirek. I used to be better than this, Luna. Do you remember the old days?”
“Perhaps what you need is a vacation,” Luna said thoughtfully. “A nice, long vacation. You’ve been at work for far too long. I think Twilight and Trixie are quite capable of ruling over Equestria in our absence, don’t you?”
Celestia looked at her sister in surprise. “But Trixie isn’t a princess! She’s just a unicorn.”
“That didn’t stop her from saving Equestria. Besides, I’m sure it’s just a matter of time. She’s quite intelligent.”
“But who would raise the sun and moon while we were gone?”
“Twilight’s done it before,” Luna pointed out.
“When she had all the alicorn magic in Equestria.”
“Come now! I’m sure we can teach her how it is done. We’re not going to live forever, you know; one day that task will have to be passed on, and Twilight is quite smart. If she can come back from the dead then I am sure she can raise the sun.”
“Those tasks are not at all the same,” Celestia pointed out. “They require completely different skill sets.”
“Details, details,” Luna scoffed. “Trust your former student. I bet you can have her handling it by the end of the week. Then you and I can go on a nice, long, relaxing trip – just the two of us. Two sisters, side by side, having the time of their lives.”
Celestia looked back over the crowd. Pinkie and Trixie had stepped down from the stage and joined Twilight and the rest of their friends at a table. They were talking to each other, laughing, and having the time of their lives.
“I suppose a vacation wouldn’t hurt,” Celestia said slowly. “But are you sure Twilight and Trixie can handle it?”
“Of course! After all, they’ve got their friends. They will be fine.”
Luna proved to be right. In the years to come the seven Elements became the best of friends and had many adventures together. The day finally did come when Celestia and Luna retired and appointed Twilight and Trixie as the new rulers of Equestria. Along with their friends, the two of them ushered in a new age of peace that spanned the very stars themselves – but that is another story.
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I'm gonna have to give this a read.
An amazing story.
...
mariowiki.com/images/thumb/f/f5/StarMK8.png/503px-StarMK8.png
This was fantastic. I'm glad I decided to track it. You earned a favorite.
Oh man, I absolutely love this story!
You have done an amazing job!
The best element of this story is your portrayal of Trixie and her abilities. Since she does not have the magical power of Twilight, you gave her a more tactical mindset, the ability to think quickly, and the mindset to use everything at her disposal to her advantage. Even when Trixie had crap information about the enemy and other ponies trying to impede her work to stop the Necromancer she always had a plan. Speaking of which, I love how you made it so Trixie could beat him. That was the ultimate bluff; do not play poker against Trixie.
One other aspect that I like about your story (that you may or may not have intended) is that it should Equestria tends to put all of its eggs in one basket when it comes to defense. All the ponies felt that they would lose without Twilight's capabilities. While it is true that Equestria does have the Royal Guard, the Night Guard, and the Wonderbolts to help protect the nation, it is clear that many ponies relied on Twilight to take care of most, if not all of the enemies of Equestria. Even her friends felt that they were screwed without her.
Trixie was the main one to understand that she and the other Bearers needed help when it came to defeating an enemy that had an undead army at his beck and call. She (and Luna) knew that even if the Elements of Harmony were a powerful force, they would still need help when facing and army. Like I said, Trixie may not have been as powerful as Twilight or had as much book-smarts, but she is a quick and tactical thinker that is more than willing to use all of Equestria's resources to help take down her enemies.
After reading every single chapters with excitement, I can now write that this story, this story is one of many that my heart was dying to discover.
Great job to the author, and everyone else who helped him/her in the correction, and suggestion of this story.
6407004
Thank you very much! I'm so glad you enjoyed the story. The encouragement means a great deal to me.
Welp, turns out derpyland is a pretty standup guy, so I made a TTS Audiobook of this one too. I'm too lazy to put it on youtube, though, so here's the MP3's.
SECRET EDIT: (NOT LAZY ENOUGH: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL-vT9uPaqMCk7TbhJAv1fHH8d8o_123IH )
Lemme know if there's any bad areas or annoying words she doesn't pronounce right, I'll fix that right up.
Files: 11, Size: 88 MB, Length: 06:23:36, Mustache: 99(!!!)
EDIT: I fixed up the word 'grimaced' and also fixed the awful "Asterisk......... Asterisk.............Asterisk" issue. Now it's just a pause
EDIT le deux: This should be the final edit, as I've had a chance to listen to the whole shebang now. Balthazar's name should be totally correct, as was as all the C'mon's should be pronounced correctly - and unless I'm mistaken all the dialogue should be at a higher pitch as well. Sometimes when dialogue goes over a few paragraphs it doesn't work quite like I'd like, so that's done. Enjoy good sirs and madams!
6414077
I'm impressed! I downloaded the mp3's and spent some time listening to them. It's really good! (It must be that high mustache count.) I'm amazed at how well it turned out. You even got Balthazar's name right.
Thank you so much for doing this! It's a real joy to listen to.
The positive:
The story was overall good. You have attention to detail, and you have a talent to make situations interesting. I'll give you my star here.
You started the story already putting us in an interesting situation, and you slowly explained it giving glimpses into it in a very endearing manner.
You seem quite aware of what people will understand and feel when they read your stuff. Demonstrated by this last chapter, when celestia is described as the villain. Each of those moments with both RD and celestia felt quite really fun to read, and I'm happy that you were actually doing it in purpose.
The negative:
I don't really like how abruptly you pulled the happy ending. It felt cheap. Specially since reading your story I instantly felt you were capable of doing it quite better. I don't really understand what happened.
6567120
It really never occurred to me that I was rushing the ending. Earlier there was a whole chapter that described how Twilight died, and I added an extended discussion with Discord that mentioned the possibility that it might be possible to bring Twilight back. I didn't want Chapter 10 to come out of nowhere. I thought I had that base covered. I probably could have spent more time on it, but I didn't realize this would bother anyone so I didn't.
If I were to go back and do it again, I wouldn't give this story a happy ending at all. I would leave things broken and wouldn't bring anyone back. I think it's too late to change, though.
This story was really good, and I liked the ending. However I think the whole friends being healed that it too sappy, now If it was Twilight coming back, and Luna being healed I won't mind.
6628291
Nope, this is not a sequel to anything. The story is just told in an unusual way. I thought, as an experiment, I would try starting out the first chapter with a lot of action, and then go back and get the reader caught up.
It was fun to do, but I don't think I would do it again. It is kind of hard to follow.
Another under-appreciated story of yours, so it seems. Sadly, I can see a pattern.
No matter, I'm sure you'd rather have it read by ones who'll enjoy it.
6753366
Thank you very much. It means a lot to know that my stories are being read by those who enjoy them. That's why I'm here.
I actually gave up writing these things for about a year because I simply couldn't seem to write anything that anyone liked. I'd get personal messages about how awful my stories were, and I figured I just didn't have what it took. But you're right - there are a few who like these stories, and so I write for them. (My only story that has even been close to popular was one I wrote about Pinkie interviewing villains; I have no idea why that story worked. I still think I could have done a better job on it.)
I've immensely enjoyed the MLP fandom. It's nice to give something back.
6753603
I wrote this story a year ago, so I may be forgetting something, but I really don't think I was trying to be funny. My guess is I was reminding the audience that she was gray; none of these ponies are acting like themselves. I've altered the story to remove the "gray" bit. I really don't think I was intending to make a Lord of the Rings reference.
This is the big problem I had with this story and "The Shadow Keeper", and it's why I abandoned that entire storyline and moved on to something else. I hate Celestia and have always thought of her as an incompetent fool, from the very first episode of MLP. She always struck me as someone who was deliberately trying to cause problems, and who had no care or empathy for others. So that's how I wrote her (although, of course, in this story she's gone "gray" and is much worse than usual).
Then I had long discussions with people who didn't like my portrayal of her, and realized that my opinion was shared by pretty much no one. So I backed off. In "The Might of a Quill" I portrayed her more along the lines of how other people apparently see her.
But I can't stand her.
6753802 First off, this is your damn story, write it how you like. I may not agree with how you see Celestia, but I can put that aside for one story and enjoy your vision, and your writing and YOUR ideas. I realize the comments of some may have bugged you, but I'd like to see this finished. Think of the people who made it this far. We may not have commented with praise before because we had noting special to say, but we're there in the reader count. Finish it for us. But, to speculate....
I think your problem with Celestia has to do with how she is shown, which is a weak concession to the fact that Twilight Sparkle and the Mane Six are the show's primary heroes. Every time Celestia should logically step in, she doesn't, or she gets defeated. It makes no sense, because she is not making decisions like a real person, but like a show prop. The only way I have found to counter this is the notion that Celestia's visions enable her to know when she doesn't need to act. She's compelled to hold back, and let others solve many problems... because of the Superman aspect of her. If Superman did everything hard for everyone, people would lose their initiative. So Celestia sometimes deliberately backs off from a problem she could solve, because it's better for the growth of the mortals to solve it.
6863456
I can say that this is one thing I have done. I finished this story back in 2014, and I've finished every story I've ever posted on this site. All my stories are complete.
I still hate Celestia, though. I can't stand her. I think the core problem is that the writers of the show have no idea how to write a strong character. Since Celestia is strong, she could easily solve a lot of the show's problems, so the writers compensate for that by having her do staggeringly stupid things. They're now starting to do the same thing with Twilight. Since Twilight is an alicorn now, the writers either leave her at home, or give random unicorns the amazing ability to overpower her whenever it's convenient for the plot.
That's not the right way to do it. If you want to have a strong character in your story, what you should do is give that character a weakness and then put them in situations that exploit that. And I'm not talking about Kryptonite, which is a really forced and artificial problem. In the original Superman movie, Superman's dad died of a heart attack. Superman can't fix that. It's a problem he can't solve, so it makes for a good source of tension.
There are all kinds of problems in life that can't be solved by raw alicorn magic or super strength or laser vision. You can have strong characters, and you can challenge them, without making them seem incredibly incompetent and uncaring.
But as I have said, I realize I am in the minority. People universally love Celestia and think she is awesome. If I had realized that I would have done things differently, because I have no desire to antagonize my readers. In the last novel I posted I tried to portray Celestia in a more positive light. I still can't stand her, but I know my opinion is not shared by others.
This was a great read, good stuff
7847193
Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it.
This is something you wrote in the comments very early on in the story. Thank Celestia you didn't go through with it! This is a great story and I can't wait to read its sequel!
- Lesser Grammar
6863456
True but who's even more of a prop is Luna. And I shall forever be Celestia's enemy.