The MLP community has been a great source of happiness and joy. These stories are my attempt to give something back to those who have so enriched my life.
Celestia knew something terrible was about to happen. Sure, everything seemed fine, but she knew better. Something was very, very wrong.
Her fears were confirmed when a magical being from the distant future told her that on that very night, Equestria would be destroyed and all would be lost. There was no way to stop it. The darkness was coming and would consume everypony. There would only be one survivor – and it was not Celestia.
The world’s last night had come.
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That was just cruel! Now how is Celestia supposed to sleep at night? And there's your answer. If Twilight had looked into the future and seen the world end, knowing she couldn't do anything about it she would never go tell Celestia and make her worry about something she couldn't change! So it really was a prank all along.
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As a reader, I tend to agree. Celestia is taking this too seriously and should trust Twilight more. I'm sure Luna never intended for Celestia to interpret things the way she did - her reaction at the end shows that. And Twilight isn't malicious. I'm pretty sure it was just a harmless nightmare.
Putting on my author's hat - this is actually the third version of this story. I spent hours trying to figure out how to end this tale, and came very close to not posting it here at all. (I tend to keep my darker stories solely on pony fiction archive, under the penname TheLoneWanderer.)
In the first version, the visitor from the future was real and the world actually ended at the conclusion of the story. But that seemed extremely dark and depressing, so I changed it.
In the second version, the story ended with a scene in Ponyville where Luna bragged to Twilight how well their prank worked. Luna didn't realize Celestia had taken the whole thing too seriously and now had nightmares. I liked that version, but I felt the extra chapter killed the story. Nightmare Night stories are supposed to be creepy, and spelling out "it really was a prank" killed the creepiness.
My instincts said the best thing to do was leave the ending ambiguous. I wanted the reader to be 90% sure it really was just a prank, but at the same time leave a little bit of genuine, nagging doubt. So for better or worse, that's what I did.
If this story goes down in flames (which is always an option!) I'll stick to comedies on this account and will keep my dark stories on the other site. We'll see how this goes.
This story has got ridiculously little recognition.
Very intense... I really enjoyed how you even at the end can't really tell if this was a prank or not. Worthy of a Nightmare Night story for sure.
What is described in this line should send any rational being shaking.
Thanks for sharing, have a fav.
Well, I better get to P.F.A. and look for your alt username, because you certainly proved that you can honor the dark tag (unless that was 60 weeks ago and you HAVE posted your other dark stories here). Fuck me, that was eerily foreboding.
I look forward to reading The Fall of Night & The Shadow Keeper today. I mean, you are very competent.
From your description of the other two versions of this story, I'd say that you picked the right one to post here. Though, if I may use my pet peeves to justify my nitpicking, the last paragraphs annoy me because they are simply the narrator mimicking Celestia's thoughts in a "is it? maybe not? but maybe it is! but also maybe not! who knows?! DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUN" fashion... I know it is my personal bias that is influencing the former statement, but I'd much rather you show Celestia shaking in uncontrollable fear and crying from not being able to unravel the charade... only to THEN add something that instills doubt in us, justifying her rather visceral reaction. Still! This is a wonderful story.
Phew! For a second there, I thought they'd all be fucked. Thankfully, for them, the universe expands faster than light.
P.S.:
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First: thanks for alerting me to the "again" mistake! I've fixed it.
Yeah, I haven't posted anything on PFA for ages. These days I just post here (I guess I've gotten lazy). The Fall of Night and The Shadow Keeper are both pretty dark. The Might of a Quill is probably darker than both of them. For some reason I don't write many happy stories these days.
I see where you're going with this! That's a great idea. Wish I had thought of it at the time!
Thanks. I appreciate the comments - readers have a way of picking up on mistakes and other things that I overlooked. They really do help.