Humanity has spent thousands of years perfecting the indoors, so why would we want to go outside?
Upon his death at the hands of Raiden Sam was carried through the Multiverse into the magical land of Equestria, much to his dismay. Now he is stuck in a land beyond everything he ever knew as he is thrown back into the spotlight once more to search for his redemption... and maybe a little something else along the way.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Alright, do you want your respective criticism mate? Because I'll warn you, it's not all... positive.
5141599 Meh, no-one's perfect. Go ahead.
If you're ever gonna use his theme, use this. It fits because Equestria dont have the tech for electric guitars.
5142466
Alright, just the basics then. First chapter's rather short, some dialogue would make things a lot easier to read. Second's rather confusing, though I figured it out, and feels like it gives out too much exposition at once. That's just me though.
5155533
Figured that's what it would be. However I could bind the two chapters together and create a prologue of sorts.
5156345
I really wouldn't advise that. Normally it's work with some slight rewriting, but the two are just too different.
5156448 Guess I'll just carry on with it and maybe come back to it for a rethink.
I like it, keep it up!
5156563 This is both AWESOME and EPIC! When do you think the next chapter will be up?
5246067 This is a side project really. I'm concentrating more on other things, so another chapter will be out when its out, I suppose.
This is a crossover of the Metal Gear series, right? (I've never played the games and know nothing about them)
5268206
Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance, yes
did I hear... Brazil?
upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/d/de/Brazilball.jpg
If I may ask, when is the next chapter coming out?
OH SHIT!
Stuff is abaut to go down.
5845182
It better go down. It's been months since I've even looked at this story, I think I'm more ready to structure it and give it an epic fighting experience.
5845270 and then no one will forget the red sun over paradise.
Your writing seems a little off; it might be a good idea to ask around for an editor. Other than that, I'm really enjoying this. Your depiction of Sam is bang-on, in particular.
5850242
Thanks for the advice and comment.
EDIT: However I will say that there is a massive writing skill gap from the beginning until 'Oddities'. And if you look at the release dates, you'll figure out why. My writing has improved significantly since then. You can actually see the sudden improvement in places.
"that is of it isn't escorted by the Royal Guard."
See, this is exactly what I'm talking about. Little things like this that don't really make much sense. That's why it can be worth having an editor even if you think you're good or improving.
I'm not trying to be mean or rude here; I just wanted to let you know.
< does not have an editor, but wants one
5853616
I understand what you're saying, trust me.
Please update new chapters.
5942700
I'm getting there, just wait a bit. I'll write something for it soon, but I've gotta complete my finals in over the next three weeks. I'll try to do as much as I can.
5943122 Me so sorry, place the responsibilities of his future first then continue with fanfic.
Very Good.
6028514 indeed.
No wonder they want Sam back. "The Winds of Destruction" wouldn't sound right without the token pegasus.
I suppose that Equestria is pretty antithetical to the social darwinist paradise that Armstrong wanted to set up.