Chapter 1
Sun, Moon, and Twilight
There she stood on the highest tower in the palace.
Again, she had to raise the moon and lower the sun.
Again, she pondered why she had to take this role.
Again, she spread her wings and leaped into the air with a single, powerful flap.
Again, she let herself be flooded with magic powerful enough to move the two celestial orbs and keep her afloat.
Again, it took no effort to push the sun below the horizon and lift the moon on the opposite side.
Again, she landed with a dull ‘thud’ on the balcony floor.
The alicorn inspected her work. “Failed again...” The night she created never seemed to be as beautiful as Luna’s. To the untrained eye it would seem about the same, but the alicorn knew better. As far as she could tell most of the constellations were identical, yet it felt undeniably different.
Nopony would feel inspired by this alignment of the stars or the moon. Even in these clear winter nights it was obvious something was missing. It felt dull, lacking the usual magic and the romantic sheen.
The night she called forth just wasn’t the same.
But the night didn’t even belong to, her did it? The connection between the alicorn and Luna’s night was only artificial after all. The lack of beauty was just a small sign of it.
It was simply agonizing for her.
She strove to meet everypony’s expectations; that is what she did her whole life. But in the last few days the alicorn had to constantly face her own inability to fix anything. Not even the night would acknowledge her work, as if the stars themselves were trying to mock her for her shortcomings.
Every. Single. Night.
The sun, on the other hoof, felt the same it ever had. While raising the sun, the alicorn was engulfed in its comforting warmth. The icy and ever-twisting dagger in her conscience almost melted away for as long as the ritual of breaking dawn lasted.
In contrast to the night, which was more like a delicately crafted masterpiece of art only a real artist could pull off, the preponderance of the day was focused in that enormously powerful ball that brings light to all of the lands.
She snapped out of her drifting thoughts and let her head hang low. “So... another night in the archives then,” the alicorn sighed.
One of the two guards at the balcony entrance spoke up, startling the alicorn who had forgotten that her new, ever vigilant guards were with her.
“The Royal Archives are prepared, ma’am.”
The alicorn looked at the two stallions. Their breath formed visible puffs of vapor, yet they tried their hardest not to show how cold they felt. It was a good idea to mix the Night and Day Guards, she thought to herself. By doing so, she hoped to ease the confusion in the palace and to calm the common-pony folk until the most recent obstacle was resolved.
If it is possible to resolve this at all, echoed her mind. She shook her head at this thought. She couldn’t give up hope just yet.
“Thank you, Phalanx,” she replied towards the golden clad unicorn of the Day Guard. “Could you inform the kitchen staff that they can go home? I will skip dinner tonight.”
Gladius, the silver armored pegasus Night Guard, raised his right front hoof to his head in a perfectly drilled example of a salute. “I will send somepony right away, ma’am.”
After he took off to attend to his new duty, the alicorn raised an eyebrow at Phalanx. “I was pretty sure I told everypony to stop that.”
“Please excuse him, ma’am,” he said with a concerned look. “Most of the guards are more at ease if we can keep something resembling a chain of command.” His face took a serious expression. “That is what we were trained for after all.”
The alicorn flinched a little, feeling a sudden pang of guilt, but tried her best not to show it. She needed to stay firm. It was her duty. The only pillar keeping Equestria together was not allowed to waver even in the slightest. Too much depended on her at the time.
“It’s all right.” She tried to reassemble her stoic mask. “We all lost something. But rest assured: I won’t stop until everything is fixed again.”
While she moved past Phalanx she said, “Given what I just claimed, we should probably get going.”
Phalanx followed the alicorn inside the tower, the highest one in the palace, before they made their way down to the Royal Archives.
She had started to dislike the archives. They were created after Luna dabbled into far too dangerous knowledge, which ultimately led to her transformation into Nightmare Moon and, soon after that, a thousand years of banishment.
To prevent such an event from occurring again, Celestia started to collect the most dangerous arcane arts and knowledge to limit access to them, for the most part even to herself.
If only she had kept it that way.
After a short while, they arrived at an enormous wooden portal, at the centre of which sat a large seal modelled after Celestia’s solar cutie mark.
Phalanx gave the two guards, a mixed pair again, a simple nod which made them step aside and, again to the pain of the recipient, salute in that well drilled manner.
The alicorn frowned at her personal guard, who shrugged in return. “I will try to take care of that later, ma’am. If you will excuse me, I will instruct the next shift not to interrupt you. Oh, and because the weather pegasi scheduled snow tomorrow, we need to prepare for that as well.”
He set off as the mare flicked her horn to move the lock aside and entered the old archives. The familiar smell of old tomes, dusty shelves and knowledge reminded her of home. Yet this place made her uncomfortable.
Enormous and ancient wooden bookshelves, each filled to the brim with hundreds of books, lined the walls. Every single one was preserved with numerous magic spells invoked by Celestia herself.
The alicorn felt incredibly small, these seemingly endless mountains of knowledge towering over her. The answers she was looking for had to be here. Books had always held the answers to all the questions she had faced in the past.
But knowledge holds consequences. An opened book can hardly be ignored, and once its secrets are revealed there is no turning back.
“Don’t get distracted now, you foal...” she mumbled to herself. “You are running out of time. Equestria needs you. Everypony needs....” The icy dagger in her gut twisted around. Equestria didn’t need her.
The inhabitants of Equestria needed their princesses back.
They needed Celestia and Luna.
The portal closed shut behind Twilight Sparkle.
A long night of lonely study ahead.
Again.
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ++++++++++++++++ ~~~~~~~~~~~~
A few weeks earlier...
After Spike finished his usual chores way ahead of time, he decided to prepare lunch for Twilight.
For quite some time the unicorn had been studying even harder than usual. Her sleeping habits had become affected by her staying up way past midnight on a regular basis, working all night just to sleep late into the following day.
Usually, he would let her sleep, since that is what she seemed to lack most these past few weeks, but she also needed to eat properly.
And by Celestia’s mane, he would make sure Twilight would eat properly.
“Twilight?” he whispered as softly as he could. The baby dragon waited a few seconds before trying again. “Twilight get up. It’s almost lunchtime and I made your favourite!”
No reaction.
Spike grew impatient. He had felt the urge to do something for her, so he decided to make her favourite meal: daffodil sandwiches and celery soup. And this would not be in vain.
He was convinced that Twilight would enjoy the food he made, and after a claw-made meal, he might even be able to get her to take a break for once. For a while now it had become increasingly difficult to get her to eat properly, and it took Spike a big chunk of effort to make her stop work for even a moment to grab a bite to eat or just relax for an hour.
With growing frustration, Spike started poking her. “Twilight?”
Still no reaction.
“Come on, Twilight!” He poked again with a little more force, which finally resulted in her giggling a little.
“Ugh... Spike?” Twilight tried to stifle her giggle. “Wha-? Why are y-? Do you have any idea how late it is?” She pulled her blanket over her head. “Let me sleep.”
Spike had no intention of letting that happen. “Do you have any idea how late it is? I made lunch for you and I promise it will pay off if you get up,” he said while tugging softly at her blanket.
Twilight tried to think of a response which would let her return to sleep. Unfortunately her mind was still clouded by her sudden awakening, and wasn’t up to the task just yet.
After a few seconds she realized what Spike had just said. “Lunch?” She removed the blanket from her head. “It’s that late, huh? Fine, I’ll get up.”
“Great! I’ll heat the soup, you get your morning stuff ready!” he exclaimed while running out of the room.
With a grunt, Twilight climbed out of her bed and almost stumbled over some books from her last study session. Which, again, lasted almost until dawn.
Twilight gasped at the mess in front of her, “Oh no!”
Nearly the whole floor was covered in books, various papers and plenty of scrolls. The suddenly more than awake Twilight was shocked by the display. She forgot to put the preservation spell back on some of the books she loaned from Celestia, leaving them completely vulnerable.
“Celestia will have my horn! Oh no no no no no.” Carefully, she lifted the books up with her magic, engulfing them in a purple haze and stacking them neatly. “Allright, now full concentration,” she said, before sticking her tongue out in an expression of determination.
A glowing, purple layer of magic formed around her horn, an indicator of how much the unicorn was straining her magical abilities. Then a second layer appeared. And a third. After a few seconds, she focused enough power to unleash the spell, which resulted in several purple ropes forming out of thin air. These suddenly snapped around the stack of books only to disappear after a few seconds, leaving a purple sheen on them.
“Doing all those books simultaneously is pretty hard,” she mumbled while rubbing her forehead.
“Oh!” Her horn glowed again, levitating a scroll and quill from her nightstand. “Magical Morning Workout... CHECK!”
Twilight felt the urge to check the books for any flaws. She would never forgive herself if they ever got damaged while in her possession or, even worse, disappointing Celestia by sullying these ancient and one-of-a-kind books. Usually no pony was allowed to remove them from the palace, but Celestia herself gave permission. Being the personal student of somepony with the ability to raise the sun comes with some decent perks.
“Oh well, I can check on them later,” she said to herself and, almost giggling, added, “actually, I should read some of them again!” Already positively giddy about the next session, her growling stomach reminded her of what Spike had said.
“Daffodil sandwiches and celery soup! Yes!”
Before heading downstairs she tended to her mane, the condition of which gave the false impression that she had had a horrible night.
The smell of freshly made soup filled the library. Mixed with the aroma of old wood, paper and ink, it warmed her heart. It smelt like home to her.
The kitchen was only outfitted with the most basic of necessities - an oven, some shelves, a tiny bit of workspace, and a table which seated about six ponies. How Spike learned to cook and, more importantly, how he was able to craft any decent meal in this sorry excuse for a kitchen was a mystery to her.
Even after consulting plenty of books, Twilight was unable to create a decent meal without something going wrong. Most of the time she would just end up getting some greasy but addictive fast food.
“This smells delicious, Spike! But I thought you don’t like celery soup?” Twilight went to the table and inhaled a deep whiff from the steaming pot of her favourite soup.
“I know you like it. And it’s not like I dislike it or anything. Its just that I prefer a more solid diet. Gemstones. You know. My sweets?” He hardly stopped himself from drooling.
“Thanks, Spike. I really appreciate it. I guess thats why you are my number one assistant after all.”
Spike smirked at her. “Oh? I am sorry I didn’t hear you.”
The unicorn frowned down at the purple baby dragon. “Not this again, Spike. We’ve been through that already, and I can’t say I want to storm another dragon lair to save you.”
“You... you wouldn’t save me anymore?”
“O-of course I would!” Startled by the sadness in his eyes, she instantly regretted the way she had phrased that. “You know I didn’t mean it like that. Spike, I will always save you. You would do the same for me, right?”
The sadness in his eyes vanished as he flexed his arms and smiled genuinely. “You can bet on that! Don’t worry, Twi, just pulling your leg a little.” While moving the freshly made sandwiches to the table he added, “Trust me. I learned my lesson from that too.”
With everything in place, they dug in.
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ++++++++++++++++ ~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Listen, Spike, we have been over this a hundred times by now.” Twilight was pleased to see that Spike was concerned about her, but she had to do her work. ”I am fine. I lack a little sleep, I agree on that, but that just happens sometimes.”
She was overworking herself with her research. She knew that. But she couldn’t just leave things unanswered or unlearned, especially not with her current subject of interest.
Her new project was proving to be her greatest challenge so far. She wasn’t sure why she started to investigate it, but the lack of books concerning the matter was disturbing to her.
“This is important to me and I think I can strike it big here,” she argued.
“Twilight, I know it’s important to you, but don’t you think it’s weird that you have a day and night assistant?” His expression grew slightly angry. “You work almost double the amount we do! That can’t be healthy.”
Ok, Twilight, compromise. You can do that, she thought to herself.
“I still don’t think I need a break at all. I have been very busy lately, I know, but I also know my limits,” she said with a serious expression.
“Come on Twil-,” he tried to argue before Twilight cut him off.
“Fine, how about we take the day off? We could go to Sugarcube Corner to get some sweets and after that... we could pay Rarity a visit,” she said, winking at Spike.
Her friend had asked her over several times in order to get Twilight out of the library for once, but she had repeatedly refused, as politely as possible of course.
“Really?” he asked suspiciously. It was unlike Twilight to give in but he was happy he succeeded, even if it was just for today. And he would see Rarity! “I guess thats OK. You really need a break, Twilight.”
Twilight was about to insist that she didn’t need a break but caught herself before she could go on. Since she had agreed on a break already it seemed silly to her to keep this argument going. “Come on, Spike, let’s get going before I change my mind,” she said while lowering herself, offering her back to her assistant.
Without another word, Spike climbed onto her, a little smile on his face as he enjoyed the small victory he just achieved.
They left the library and made their way to Sugarcube Corner. The sun was shining brightly and the sky was as blue as it could be. Since the Running of the Leaves, barely a week ago, it had started to get a little colder. Still no reason for winter clothing, but every time the wind hit Twilight she felt a pleasant little chill.
She had to admit it felt good to be outside after being cooped up for so long, the fresh air clearing her lungs and mind with each breath she took. After a few minutes she felt almost newborn, clean, all the dust from the library falling off of her.
As pleasant as it felt, she missed her books already. If only I could find more informa-... she was interrupted in her thoughts as she felt Spike shifting on her back.
“Twilight?” he asked nervously while fidgeting around with his tail.
“Yes?”
“Are you sure everything is alright?”
“Yes, Spike. I am fine,” The words had slipped out in a harsher tone than she intended. “Would you let that matter rest now, please?”
Twilight could feel Spike jerking back a little, shocked by her rough response, and only then noticed that she almost yelled at him.
“I am sorry, Spike.” she said in a much softer voice as she lowered her head.
“Huh?” the baby dragon was perplexed by this sudden change of mood.
“I know it troubles you that I work myself to the bone, but you know how it is,” she tried to explain. “Sometimes I just get absorbed into my studies and lose track of my surroundings.”
“I didn’t ask for an apology, Twilight.”
“I know you didn’t. But one is due and we both know it. I promise I will take better care of myself, so stop worrying so much. Let’s just enjoy the day, OK?”
He put his arms round her neck her from behind. “It’s OK, Twilight, I understand.“
Soon they arrived at Sugarcube Corner where they bought some sapphire cupcakes for Spike and two pieces of cloud cake, a supposed delicacy from Cloudsdale. After that, they made their way to Carousel Boutique to pay Rarity her long overdue visit.
Rarity’s concern, without a doubt ignited by Twilight’s purple-scaled, over-eager guardian, had to be taken care of as well. If Twilight had to spend an afternoon outside the library to calm all the fuss about her, she was happy she could do it by visiting one of her best friends at least. And, even though she wouldn’t like to admit it, the fresh air seemed to have worked wonders on her mood.
The boutique was open, but Rarity was nowhere to be found in the showroom. Twilight cleared her throat to draw some attention.
“Rarity?” Twilight asked into the room.
“Yes, one moment, dear!” sounded from one of the backrooms.
She motioned Spike to get off her back while waiting for Rarity. After a few moments the white coated and purple maned fashionista entered from her working room.
“Forgive me for making you wait, Twilight. You have to use your creativity when it strikes you.” She noticed Spike while trotting towards Twilight, with as much elegance as ever. “Hello, Spike.” They exchanged a knowing glance,”how are you doing?”
“Fine, really. Finally got some free time,” the purple assistant answered in a poor attempt at feigning ignorance.
Twilight frowned at them. She was probably right about her over-eager guardian being the reason for Rarity’s numerous attempts to get Twilight out of the library.
“I brought some cloud cake from Sugarcube Corner, well, Cloudsdale as Mrs. Cake explained to me. For some reason they can only make it in Cloudsdale, so they don’t get it that often. I always wanted to try some, but never got the chance.”
“That sounds fabulous! Let’s go into the kitchen and get some tea to go with that cake of yours,“ she turned towards one of the back rooms, “and while we wait for the tea you can tell me everything about your newest project, darling.”
Oh that’s how it is going to be, thought Twilight. Well, I saw this coming.
They took their places at the kitchen table and watched Rarity make tea. Spike didn’t wait to indulge in his treats, and with a satisfied smile on his face, fell asleep soon after. After steeping the tea Rarity poured some for herself and Twilight.
“Rarity?” Twilight sniffed at the tea. ”Is that... is that blend... Morning Dew?
“Why yes, Spike told me you like it. It’s so hard to get here that I had to make a friend from Canterlot send me some. I hoped you would like it.”
“Yes I do like it... very much so,” she said while her face took on a nostalgic expression. “That’s the tea I used to drink with Celestia after she raised the sun in the morning...”
Just the fragrant smell brought back pleasant memories of their almost daily ritual of morning tea. Almost every day she would watch Celestia raising the sun at the highest tower of the Castle, then share this particular tea with her - probably the only time that Twilight and Celestia could spend time together as a little more than student and teacher.
Twilight couldn’t spend much time with her aside from the morning tea, even while living at the palace, between Celestia’s duties concerning royal affairs and Twilight’s lectures.
“I wonder what else Spike told you, Rarity. He tends to get a little dramatic lately.” Which wasn’t exactly the truth. The day so far had made Twilight realize her own exhaustion, so her assistant wasn’t too far off.
“Oh... it was... kind of obvious, wasn’t it?” She glanced over at the fast asleep Spike. “He was really worried, Twilight. I know he probably made everything sound a lot worse than it actually is, and you seem in good health, but your complexion could use some refreshment to be honest.”
“I’m fine, Rarity. It’s true that I worked myself a little too hard, but it’s not the first time, and it probably won’t be the last. You of all ponies should know that when the creativity strikes you, you have to use it while it lasts.”
Rarity sighed. “I guess that I, of all ponies, can’t argue about that. So what have you been working on, darling? The last time I saw you working that hard on something was when you searched for clues on the Elements of Harmony.”
“Well I won’t bother you with all the details, ”Twilight replied, “ but did you ever think about how your magic really works?”
“Whatever do you mean, darling? You just concentrate on something, and if you get it right, it happens.” She levitated her cup, and took a gentle sip as if to prove a point. “At least for the simple spells I guess, apart from levitation and my gem-locator, I am not that skilled in magic.”
“Yes, but where does the energy to perform levitation come from? Even magic is bound to the laws of physics - if you lift something it requires force, if you heat something it requires energy, if you teleport... well, I haven’t figured out how that works just yet.”
“I never thought about it that way to be honest,” Rarity had to admit.
Twilight became excited, as she rarely had somepony to talk about her research apart from Celestia. “Yes but that’s just the tip of the iceberg.”
“There is more?”
“Yes! Like, you don’t get exhausted if you use magic right?”
“Uhm actually, I do. I think everypony gets exhausted after straining themselves with too much magic.”
“No, what you mean is mental exhaustion. Unicorns need to concentrate on the task and that’s what burdens your mind. Remember when I made those wings for you?” Twilight shifted, visibly uncomfortable about what she had to reveal. “I couldn’t think straight for almost thirty minutes because my concentration couldn’t keep up with the spell.”
“Oh my, I didn’t know it put such a burden on you.”
“Well it was a new spell. If I have more time to understand the spell beforehoof this doesn’t happen.” With more determination, as if that could push the last fact aside, she continued. “What I mean to say, Rarity, is this: if unicorns don’t provide the energy for magic, what does?”
Rarity was dumbfounded by that statement. She had no particular skill at magic except for levitation, locating gems, and transforming cloth, but she knew there were other magic abilities that should require a lot more of whatever Twilight had just explained.
“But surely somepony has questioned this matter before? I mean, it’s obvious what you are getting at, and I am perplexed it didn’t strike me before, but somepony must have thought about that.”
“That’s exactly it, Rarity.” Twilight’s eyes burned with excitement. “No pony did. Whatever I was able to dig up in my books about the matter was just empty words. Beating around the bush, so to speak.”
“I guess your determination is understandable if you explain it like that. But is it really that important? It works, right?”
“Ugh..” Twilight groaned. “This is exactly the point Rarity, if we understand how magic works, we could use it a lot better,” she argued. ”What if everypony uses it the wrong way? There are a lot of unicorns with almost no magical ability. We could help them with this research.”
“Well, it does sound important, I guess.”
“It is important Rarity.”
“Did you ask Princess Celestia about this? She might be able to help you.”
“Yes, I did, she sent me some books on the matter, but they didn’t turn out to be that useful. I guess I will report my meager findings and ask for some more advice.” Her eyes shifted towards Spike, who was still fast asleep. “I planned on doing this today, but Spike sort of forced me to take a break.” She paused for a few seconds. “Which admittedly was overdue.”
Rarity clapped her hooves together. “You are right! So let’s forget about your work for a while.”
Rarity led the conversation into topics that were, in her opinion, more pleasing than the research of magic itself. So she went on about the newest fashion in Canterlot, the newest Ponyville gossip and how she wanted to expand her clothing range to include ‘socks’.
Twilight was surprised she could get herself to relax a little. Listening only with the surface of her mind, she drifted in and out of the conversation. When Rarity got into the newest gossip, Twilight would sometimes react with a faked little gasp, just to find her friend burning with excitement while sharing the oh so dark, unspoken truths of Ponyville.
When fashion came up, she would just nod here and there. Twilight never had an eye for fashion and rarely wore any clothing. If she did, it would serve some practical purpose, like keeping herself warm or following some dress code for official occasions.
After a while the conversation wound down, and while finishing their cake and tea, Twilight’s thoughts drifted off to her research again.
Since the books from the princess didn’t turn out to be useful, she was at a loss for ideas. How was she supposed to find something if she wasn’t even remotely aware of the underlying concept behind this mystery? All she had were some loose theories based on even more vague theories.
The sky, slowly gaining a slight green tint, signaled that the sun was going to set soon, making Twilight snap out of her drifting thoughts. “Oh... I almost forgot. I still need to write a report to Princess Celestia,” she said while she carefully levitated the still fast asleep Spike onto her back.
Rarity nodded at her friend. “You had better get going then. Don’t let me keep you away from your work.” She tried to stifle a giggle as this was exactly what she and Spike had intended to do for today.
“Thanks for the tea, Rarity. I really needed that break,” Twilight had to admit again.
Rarity smiled at her friend. “No no no, Twilight Sparkle, I enjoyed this as much as you did, the cake was delicious. Just make sure you don’t trouble Spike so much. Promise me to take better care of yourself, ok?”
Twilight gave her the most reassuring smile she could muster. “I will try.”
“Oh wait, I almost forgot,” Rarity exclaimed excitedly and went to a drawer. “It’s getting rather cold lately, and with the winter coming I thought of promoting my new collection by placing a nice scarf on a nice mare as a promotion. And oh look!” She turned back towards Twilight. ”What have we here? A fabulous mare.”
As soon as Rarity stopped speaking Twilight knew exactly where this was going.
Rarity returned with a rather cute scarf. It was apple-green with a delicate leaf-like pattern colored orange and yellow giving it a very autumnal feel. Even Twilight’s low aesthetic senses could pick up on the fact that Rarity’s new fashion line showed great promise.
“Thanks, Rarity, bu-” Rarity was already in full motion to wrap the scarf around Twilight’s neck.
“And don’t you think about thanking me for that, darling. The others each already got something from my collection, and you are the only one that missed out on some accessoire.”
“Tha-,”she barely stopped herself from saying thanks. “I mean, it looks really pretty. I like it. Don’t worry, I’ll make sure to show it off, Rarity.”
Back at the library, Twilight placed Spike in his basket upstairs and decided to write the letter that was riding on her mind all day.
Dear Princess Celestia,
Today I learned another lesson about friendship.
Sometimes, your friends know more about you than you know about yourself. And while they only want to help you, and express that they are worried, this can sometimes be mistaken as them bothering you.
I learned that you should listen to your true friends. If they are worried enough about you to express it in this fashion, chances are high that there is a reason for it not quite as obvious to yourself.
However, I do not write to you just because of my most recent lesson about friendship. My chosen subject of study turned out to bear no fruits so far except uncovering more questions.
Thank you again for the books you have sent me. Sadly, they turned out to be not that helpful. While they grazed the topic of my research, the actual information on the matter proved to be meager at best.
I would like to ask you for some further assistance.
Could you perhaps share any of your knowledge?
Can you recommend any other literature on the topic?
Can you point me towards any other sources I could rely on?
Your faithful student,
Twilight Sparkle
PS: I will send the books back after I check them again, just in case I missed something.
Twilight had read through the letter three times but found nothing to fix. She was getting a little desperate to ask Celestia for so much help, but the feeling of how important her findings could be just wouldn’t let go of her.
She turned towards the books the princess had sent her. It was the first time that books, hoofpicked by the princess no less, didn’t hold the answer to her questions. They didn’t even help. They only made clear that next to nothing was known about that subject yet.
It was hard to believe no pony had researched this topic so far. One of the most fundamental wonders of pony history untouched? Did everypony besides her fail? Did no pony care? Twilight couldn’t believe that. She was determined to find out how magic works, where it came from, and how to aid those with less magical talent.
Twilight sealed the scroll and placed it next to Spike’s basket, so the first thing he would do in the morning would be to send the letter to Princess Celestia.
The exhaustion of the last few weeks suddenly caught up to her and despite the evening being rather young she decided to go to sleep. One night without study won’t make a difference, was the the last thing on Twilights mind while her head hit the pillow. A few seconds later she fell asleep.
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ++++++++++++++++ ~~~~~~~~~~~~
The letter and Spike were gone, indicating it had already reached the princess, and with some luck, Spike had made something edible by now. After tending to her, yet again, messy mane, Twilight made her way downstairs to eat.
On her way down, she skipped the last few steps with a joyful jump, almost bumping into Spike.
“Well look who’s up already, it’s pretty early for you.” Spike couldn’t help but smile at Twilight. It had been a while since he saw her with that much energy.
Twilight let out a small giggle. “You were right, Spike. I really needed a break. Sorry for worrying you.”
“Already forgotten all about it, Twi, don’t worry. There’s some soup left from yesterday if you’re hungry. You know, it tastes better on the second day.”
“Oh, I actually hoped there would be some leftovers.” Twilight felt considerably more hungry now that she had the prospect of indulging in her beloved celery soup.
While both of them made their way to the kitchen, Spike gave a brief report on his chores. “Oh and before I forget Twilight, I sent the letter to Princess Celestia this morning.”
“Good job, Spike. Please tell me right away when you get an answer please.”
“Well, she already did. The letter is on your nightstand. Didn’t you see it?”
“Uhh... I guess not. I didn’t pay attention.” In her mind she scolded herself - she was eager to read that letter now, but her stomach won the very short argument between curiosity and plain hunger. ”But hey, that was pretty fast!” she exclaimed. “Let’s get that soup boiling so I can go read it!” Twilight hoped that this letter would enable her to make some progress on her current research topic.
After pleasing her stomach, Twilight made her way to her study and bedroom. She fetched the letter with her magic, cut the seal, and rolled it out on her reading table.
My dear and most faithful student Twilight,
I would like to help you with your research as I am able to see its importance.
Therefore I hereby invite you to the palace, if you can spare the time. I take it that Spike is able to deal with the library alone for a while.
I await your quick answer.
Your loving mentor,
Princess Celestia of Equestria
PS: I will take care of transportation, as soon as you have made preparations.
Twilight’s face shifted from disbelief to pure bliss after she read the letter again. She couldn’t believe that the princess was taking professional interest in her research. Generally, Celestia would be interested in anything Twilight did, but this was different. She knew that her current topic of study promised to be important. But ‘Princess Celestia, Ruler of Equestria’ important?
Scholars from all over the world would give their last bit for a chance to conduct research with Princess Celestia.
In her mind she had already scribbled down a mental checklist.
- Make sure Spike doesn’t ruin the library.
- Answer the princess.
- Pack the books from the princess.
- Ask Rarity to look after Spike once in a while.
- Make absolutely sure Spike does not destroy the library.
She didn’t miss Canterlot, neither did she miss the palace, but she did miss working directly with the princess. The private training and lessons she had received were some of the most precious times she could remember. Twilight liked her new life in Ponyville, but sometimes she missed the relationship she had with Celestia. Even if it mostly consisted of morning tea. This would be a great chance to spend more time with the princess.
After writing a short reply that she would like to take up on that offer as soon as possible, she started packing all the books she would need. She was only interrupted once, by yet another quick response from Celestia saying that a carriage would pick her up tomorrow.
With these things in mind, she wasted no time instructing Spike, who was more than happy about the chance to take care of library all by himself for some time - even more so after Rarity agreed to look after him once in a while.
The night came as fast as Princess Celestia’s answers.
But this time it wasn’t rest well spent.
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ++++++++++++++++ ~~~~~~~~~~~~
Darkness. Twilight’s mind couldn’t come up with anything else to describe what filled her vision. The all-encompassing blackness around her was without form. Even the darkest night she had witnessed had held at least some sort of illumination, be it the stars or the moon, but nothing could be spotted in this void.
After what seemed like an eternity, something filled a distant part of the darkness with light.
Two orbs appeared at what Twilight took to be the horizon - one radiating a golden aura, the other shining like the purest silver. As they grew in size, they also grew in brilliance. After a few seconds, she had the feeling they didn’t grow, but instead drew closer to her.
Just as she was beginning to worry that the orbs would engulf her, they slowed and halted at a respectful distance from her. Twilight followed the golden orb with her gaze as it started to move upwards, describing an arc above her. As soon as it reached the ‘horizon’ at the other side of Twilight, the silver orb she assumed to be the moon followed the arc the solar doppelganger had traveled before. The two spheres kept the unicorn between them, serving as an axis for their rotation around her and forming a permanent line consisting of sun, moon, and herself.
As she watched the orbs rise and fall through the ‘horizon’, she noticed that they caused ripples on whatever surface she was currently standing on. She followed the tiny waves with her eyes as they slowly closed in on her.
Curious, she tried to figure out what exactly the plane was made of. It reflected the two objects rotating around Twilight like a mirror, but it was completely black and flat apart of the ripples the orbs caused.
She followed the ripples with her eyes, and as the first tiny wave hit her hooves, for the first time she noticed her own reflection.
But it wasn’t her.
Exactly mirroring her stance was a grey mare, her face completely void of any emotion. The pony on the other side was connected to her at the hooves as if they were standing on each other, completely defying gravity.
She examined the pony on the other side of the mirror.
She was covered in what seemed to be glowing white runes. Her eyes were closed and everything but her head was engulfed in something like a heat haze, distorting her features in a strange way.
Twilight noticed that the orbs had stopped in their tracks. They had risen just enough so that they were barely visible above the horizon at opposite sides of her. She thought about taking a step towards what seemed like the sun, to figure out why they had stopped, but her heart skipped a beat as she was suddenly terribly afraid to move even a single step. The surface was some sort of liquid. The only coherent thought in her head was that she was in fact standing on that other mare.
She looked down again at the mirrored surface, but instead of the grey mare a purple unicorn now stared back at her, covered in the same glyphs as before but with brightly glowing eyes and without the hazy distortion.
She knew those eyes, cold and hard though they appeared.
They belonged to herself.
Panic gripped her mind. She tore her gaze away and frantically ran her eyes over her body, finding the same runes now adorning her own coat and pulsating with a bright violet sheen. In shock, Twilight stumbled backwards, losing control over her body.
She fell.
She fell through the surface.
She fell past the mysterious mare.
*WHUMP*
She fell out of bed.
“Ugh...” Twilight groaned. Disoriented and still wrapped up in her blanket, she struggled for a moment to regain control over her body.
As she finally unwrapped herself and stood up, the sore spot on her shoulder, which she had landed so gracefully on, reminded her of how devastating gravity could be.
Dear Princess Celestia,
Physics is painful.
Your hurting student,
Twilight Sparkle
After tending to her furious mane, she went downstairs only to find Spike and a pegasus of Celestia’s Royal Guard talking.
After he noticed Twilight trotting down the stairs, he said with a smile, “Good morning, Miss Sparkle.” It didn’t take him long to notice her confused expression and the need to explain his presence. “Uhm... we are here to take you to the Palace. The Princess informed you, I take it?”
“Oh yes! She did,” Twilight answered with an embarrassed giggle. “I just didn’t expect anypony so early,” she added.
Spike tried to suppress a chuckle. “Well, Twilight, it is past noon. Pretty early for you, I know.”
Twilight could feel the heat rising in her cheeks. She glared at Spike but couldn’t keep it up for long. “You could have woken me up, Spike.”
“Please, Miss Sparkle, we just arrived five minutes ago. No harm done. We already moved your luggage into the carriage.” He pointed vaguely in the direction of the door. ”We will wait outside until you are ready.” With this, he left the library.
It didn’t take Twilight long to grab her saddlebags and give Spike a few final instructions. “Tell Rarity if something goes wrong, OK? I don’t know how long this research will take, but I will write you a letter and keep you up to date.” With that said, and after a big hug, she made her way outside.
After she stepped outside, she turned back one last time so she could say with a small laugh, “No parties, Spike. I’m going to trust you on this!”
Four bulky pegasi strapped in front of a carriage waited for her. Twilight didn’t mind this sort of transportation, but she would have been fine with a normal carriage, one that stayed on the ground, for example. She recognized this one as a larger version to the one she used to get to Ponyville the first time, just about twice the size and filled with her luggage.
“We are ready, Miss Sparkle, just hop on. It won’t take long. I take it you have flown before?”
“Yes indeed, several times in fact. But these flying carriages make me kind of nervous - I’d rather stick to my balloon.” She eyed the flying contraption suspiciously. “They just don’t seem very safe to me.”
“Don’t worry, we are the best. Before you know it, we will be at the Palace,” he responded with a reassuring smile.
She boarded the carriage, and not a minute later was high up over the clouds. The pleasant feeling of the wind whipping through her mane made her smile. Sometimes she was envious of pegasi for this feeling of freedom.
After a while, though, she began to shiver from the cold. Twilight searched for something to shield her from the chilly wind without success until, with a sudden smile, she opened her saddle bags and used her magic to levitate the scarf from Rarity around her neck.
“Guess friends are with you wherever you are...” she mumbled.
“Something wrong, Miss Sparkle?” one of the Pegasi called back, struggling to overcome the howling wind with his voice.
“Nothing wrong at all. I was just thinking aloud,” she returned with a smile, now feeling a little more cozy with the scarf protecting her from the chill.
The guard hadn’t been exaggerating when he had claimed his team were the best. She had never traveled that fast before. Twilight couldn’t help but get excited over the opportunity to conduct her research together with Princess Celestia. The dream she had experienced earlier still nagged at her. She had never considered dreams as something important, just the brain playing tricks, but this one had felt awfully ‘real’. Twilight dismissed it for now, more important matters were at hoof after all.
So it was that they made their way towards Canterlot, the palace, Princess Celestia, and, hopefully, answers.
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Since I don't like author notes I will drop it here!
Thanks to BubuJones, Starfall, Elathres, and AAAAAAAB for proofreading and feedback on the story.
It's nice to see this up here now.
And didn't I proof read your story too?
479650
Of course you did. :p
479657
But yeah, tracking!
Yeee-haaaa, it's up!
I'm looking forward to reading more of this story
i do like it well made and you fell....well you fell something ( i don't know what but i like it)
A Sorceror's Pledge - Candlemass
479787
You are awesome! \m/
479734
Good to hear. :D
The chapters will become longer now so it might take a little while. ;)
Very well written, interesting premise, and good characterization. This fic deserves ALL OF THE VIEWS
480145
cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/13792619.jpg
Thank you!
It feels good to hear people like it. I was pretty unsure about how it worked out... It's my first piece after all.
Yeah!
Definitely tracked. That dream scene has a bigger implication that Twilight realizes.
Yay~ its up! Looking forward to the rest
lol
THIS. IS. THE. BEST. POSSIBLE. THING
I have no idea what's going on.
BUT that doesn't matter! you've captured my attention! Also, it seems like everyone else has a clue on what the deal is with this piece so I await later chapters eagerly. I wonder if this is like one of those Twilight is really an Alicorn/Supernatural entity of unknown power or some deal.
As you can tell, this is my first time seeing this fic. Keep at it!
Intriguing story. Can't wait for more.
This is your first written work? Damn.
The Twilight-becomes-alicorn trope is a little played out, but I think the premise of Twilight's research has a lot promise and I hope it leads to a unique take on the idea. Very, very good stuff for a first story, the characterization is good and the prose is better than could be expected. Celestia knows most people's first story (mine included) is barely readable, let alone good. I look forward to seeing where this goes.
480771
This is the first time someone reads this apart from my proof readers. I got the general plot down I just need to churn out the chapters now.
Glad you liked it ;)
You sure this is your first piece?
It's so well written...
Anyway, this is awesome so tracked.
482380
Yeah it is. But it went through numerous revisions with my proofreaders beforehand. ;)
Review time: (Warning Massive Spoilers)
Ive been meaning to do a review for a while and i happen to come across your story. Do know that i may sound harsh in this review but i do it in the thought process of helping you and not mocking you. Also take with what ever i write below with a grain of salt and know that it is simply an over glorified opinion. Now that introductions are out of the way lets look at your story.
First Section: Ok so lets look at the first part of your story. i will admit i was annoyed and a bit frustrated at the start with you not telling who 'She' was.
*Ex* "There she stood on the highest tower in the palace."
Now i automatically assumed it was Twilight Sparkle, Which turned out later i was correct, but the fact that i had to read through the whole first part knowing and not knowing if it was her was very frustrating. I ended up Speed-reading that first part for the sake of knowing that it was truly her, only to then go back and re-read it in her point of view so that it made more sense.
This could have been easily avoided if you just hinted a little bit like 'Purple mare' or 'Prized student of said Princess'.
"The inhabitants of Equestria needed their princesses back.
They needed Celestia and Luna.
The portal closed shut behind Twilight Sparkle.
A long night of lonely study ahead.
Again."
But there is some good you did, like the breaking of lines in some parts such as the start and end. They were properly used and served its purposed. Dramatic thoughts or actions.
Section two: Ok so i just finished the first part (For the second time) and now to move on to see what happens next!
"~~~~~~~~~~~~ ++++++++++++++++ ~~~~~~~~~~~~"
Suddenly new scene, Spike is here, No longer an Alicorn, What is going on?
You need to tell people when your going to go back in time or have flashbacks. Sure i eventually got it but i am a slow thinker and well this totally caught me off guard. Perhaps at the start you could have simply put '2 weeks earlier' or at the end of the previous Section you could have put 'She thought back when this all started...'
Section Two and Three: Whats with this random break?
"The sadness in his eyes vanished as he flexed his arms and smiled genuinely. “You can bet on that! Don’t worry, Twi, just pulling your leg a little.” While moving the freshly made sandwiches to the table he added, “Trust me. I learned my lesson from that too.”
With everything in place, they dug in.
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ++++++++++++++++ ~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Listen, Spike, we have been over this a hundred times by now.” Twilight was pleased to see that Spike was concerned about her, but she had to do her work. ”I am fine. I lack a little sleep, I agree on that, but that just happens sometimes.”"
You could have simply removed the break and had this conversation while they ate. At least that would make more sense.
Section Three:So Spike falls asleep...
"Spike didn’t wait to indulge in his treats, and with a satisfied smile on his face, fell asleep soon after."
......
"Back at the library, Twilight placed Spike in his basket upstairs and decided to write the letter that was riding on her mind all day."
The whole visit and never wakes up once?
Now i know he must have at one point but this little information just annoyed me a tad bit.
Section Five: I laughed.
"Dear Princess Celestia,
Physics is painful.
Your hurting student,
Twilight Sparkle"
Final Thoughts: If you have not noticed yet I spaced out the 'Sections' according to your breaks. Section Four (The dream) was not included because i have no bad or good thoughts about it. Also the characterization between everyone was fine and nothing was amiss. Overall this was a very good first attempt but i have to admit this is simply to predictable. Twilight somehow discovered some ancient power, Somehow the Princesses die, She has to take control and find a way to restore peace (with bringing the princesses back or stopping what ever killed them). Or maybe not, but either way I am not interested.
Bravo and Encore for your first chapter. I do hope I am wrong and this turns out to be a great story. Have a good day.
492993
First of all. Thanks for your review, I really appreciate it.
I try to go through your points in order.
Yes, people probably figured out early that I try to dodge Twilight in the first part. Why is that?
Because Fimfiction forces me to do add a character tag.
All of the pre readers went crazy on me because they didn't predict it was about Twilight. They were, as you, annoyed that I didn't spell the name out but as soon as I revealed it at the end it made sense. But they didn't get "spoilered" by that character tag as you did. I will add the Celestia tag to remove that spoiler. (because I actually tried to mislead the reader to think about Celestia instead of Twilight)
--
The break to the second part. Yes... you are perfectly right about that and I will definitely change that. In retrospect there is no reason why I shouldn't make this more clear.
The scene in the kitchen is supposed to just make Spike joke around a little. I probably made that sound too serious and people can't figure out that he is just playing the sad part because of that. (How could the reader figure out? I didn't show it
)
--
The scene where Spike bugs Twilight *again* while they are on the way to S.C. was just to have Twilight have her little outburst and to show that Spike is seriously troubled by Twilight's behavior. And sort of to make Twilight realize that her current project eats away at her more that she was willing to admit.
--
"Section Three:So Spike falls asleep..."
Yeah he did. I just wanted to remove him from the conversation because he couldn't add anything except initiating another argument. I probably should wake him up when Twilight leaves or something... it's not like they spent the whole day over at Rarity's.
"Section Five: I laughed."
I was actually unsure about that *a very long time* this seemed almost too harsh as a mood break after that dream.
Also:
I got the plot worked out. And it doesn't seem to be all that predictable considering how far off you are.
Thanks for the review.
I will take your advice to heart!
492993
With due respect to your opinion and review, not naming Twilight in the first section was sorta the entire point of the first section. I was trying to bribe Dreec to change it to Rainbow Dash, personally. Can you imagine the freak-out she'd have if she became the only alicorn in Equestria?
517726
Yeah i know it was the point. Its just, well i really don't know but the way it was written just annoyed me a whole lot. Maybe I am getting really picky? Also i would have totally flipped out if it turned out to be Rainbow Dash.
It's a good start, but I can't really judge it until we get to the real meat of the story. Points for originality... I haven't read anything where Twilight has to replace the princesses before.
And now I have this totally hilarious image of Trollestia dragging Luna on a road trip and telling Twilight that she's in charge for the duration.
*cough* anyway. A great start, especially for your first piece of writing. It did seem a bit wooden here and there, but that's one of those things that's hard to define the why of, and occasionally even the where.
Interestprotocol : [Relevant]
Tracking="True"
Let's do this.
543695
You are just poking for the next chapter aren't you?
543739
Defiiiine poking...
Great story, seems to have potential... tracking.
Well, I'm interested. You get a watch and my highest hopes for the chapters to come.
I didn't mind the obfuscation of the alicorn's identity at the beginning, or of it being Twilight (yeah, Alicorn Twilight is overdone. So are Sad Immortal Celestia, DashShipping, RandomFics and plenty of other things. This is a rather prolific fandom. What matters is the story). What I minded was that the initial in-medias-res section was pointless. Nothing happened. We learned some things, but the rest of the story gets on just fine without those revelations, except now the reader is spoiled of the surprise of Twilight becoming an alicorn, the royal sisters disappearing and Twilight apparently taking their place for a time. The story would have been better off without that first section. Now, if you plan on having each chapter start off with an Alicorn Twilight section, that's fine, but always make sure something actually happens in those sections.
The only thing I will say about the exhaustion plot point is that spellcasting does induce physical exhaustion...in canon. This is your story and your interpretation of how magic works.
Nothing wrong with the characterization here. You’ve got Twilight, Rarity and Spike down, except for one part in the dream.
“but her heart skipped a beat as she was suddenly terribly afraid to move even a single step. The surface was some sort of liquid. The only coherent thought in her head was that she was in fact standing on that other mare.” - She already could have guessed the surface was a liquid since the sun and moon made ripples in it (if she couldn’t have realized it before, why was she suddenly able to realize it then?). I don’t see why she would suddenly be afraid of this. Also, it’s hard to believe she only has one coherent thought in her mind when you keep writing coherent thoughts in her mind.
Now, to some more nitty-gritty stuff.
“Her sleeping habits had become affected by her staying up way past midnight on a regular basis, working all night just to sleep late into the following day.” – Could definitely have been written more actively.
“Carefully, she lifted the books up with her magic, engulfing them in a purple haze and stacking them neatly.” – Could have been written more actively.
Also, this might just be me, but I’ve always found it redundant to the point of tedium when stories describe the use of magic for mundane tasks, telekinesis especially, when it isn’t necessary. To expound, take the above sentence, rewritten by me: “Twilight carefully lifted the books and stacked them in a neat tower.” The reader already knows she’s a unicorn at this point in the story, if they didn’t already, and can logically assume she either did that with her mouth or her magic. Does it matter which method she used? No, unless you make it matter through the addition of some other element. The action itself doesn’t change. Regardless of which method the reader imagines, they still know and understand that Twilight carefully lifted the books and stacked them in a neat tower. No need for the unnecessary description—you have a story to get to, after all. A later sentence could say: “Twilight trotted down the stairs to her library’s main floor, the long stack of books floating behind her.” (That doesn’t happen in the story, I know. I’m just using it to demonstrate my point.) Now the reader can make a reasonable assumption she used magic before, and in this line the magic is a meaningful part of the description because there's no other (reasonable) way she could carry the long stack of books down a flight of stairs.
“Her horn glowed again, levitating a scroll and quill from her nightstand.” – No need to mention her horn glowing—and she’s the one levitating the objects, not her horn.
“A glowing, purple layer of magic formed around her horn, an indicator of how much the unicorn was straining her magical abilities. Then a second layer appeared. And a third.” – The first aura always appears when magic is being used. It’s the other two that only appear during times of particularly intense spellcasting.
“Before heading downstairs she tended to her mane, the condition of which gave the false impression that she had had a horrible night.” Sounds a bit too technical. I’m not saying she should freak out over it, but a little surprise at what she looks like wouldn’t be amiss.
“After a few minutes she felt almost newborn, clean, all the dust from the library falling off of her.” – ...Please tell me she took a bath before leaving.
“He put his arms round her neck her from behind.” – I guess you meant to say “He put his arms around her neck, hugging her from behind.”?
“I haven’t figure out” – Figured.
“Twilight had read through the letter three times but found nothing to fix.” – Well...
---“And while they” – The thing about starting sentences with “And” is it’s almost always unnecessary.
---“If they are worried enough” – How did she bold the “are”? Did she use extra ink?
---“However, I do not write to you” – To me that doesn’t sound like her.
---“My chosen subject of study turned out to bear no fruits so far except uncovering more questions.” – My research into the source of magical energy remains fruitless so/thus far, only unearthing more questions.
---“Thank you again for the books you have sent me. Sadly, they turned out to be not that helpful.” – Thank you again for allowing me to borrow these books, but they haven’t been that helpful. (Isn’t that how it went? Celesta let her borrow them? “Usually no pony was allowed to remove them from the palace, but Celestia herself gave permission.”)
“It was the first time that books, hoofpicked by the princess no less, didn’t hold the answer to her questions. They didn’t even help.” – Second sentence is redundant. Also, the only thing she expected them to do is help so the "even" is unnecessary.
“She was determined to find out how magic works, where it came from, and how to aid those with less magical talent.” – Well, she doesn’t know if learning about the source can help unicorns with lesser ability (which, lest we forget, is the majority of unicorns). Also, “worked”, not “works”.
“Spike and the letter were gone, indicating it had already reached the princess,” – The sentence subject is Spike, not the letter; there’s certainly no indication that he reached Celestia or that he is genderless. Nor is there any real indication the letter reached Celestia.
“it started to move upwards, describing an arc above her.” – It described an arc? How did it do that? You could have just said it moved in an arc.
The guards switch from “Miss Sparkle” to “Miss Twilight”, and I can’t see why they would suddenly become so informal with her.
610519 I like your argument about 'cliche' story themes. I may end up using it at some point.
Anyway, great critique, in depth and easy to implement, from the looks of it. I didnt really read it end to end, but Im not the one with the story.
AARGGGHHHH WHY AM I META-CRITIQUING YOUR CRITIQUE IT ISNT EVEN FOR ME AND I JUST WANTED TO COMPLIMENT YOUR AWESOME POINT!
I apologise, it is late at night for me, and I tend to get this way late at night.
That opening bit is a pretty strong hook. It certainly got me, at least.
awesome opening chapter!
i can hardly believe that this is your very first story!
that first section (everything before the time skip) really lead me to believe it was celestia who we were seeing. i had the entire section "painted" up in my head ("seeing" her talk and "hearing" it in her voice), then you revealed that the mare in question was actually twilight; which forced me to re-read that section with different images and sounds in my head. not quite sure of my opinion towards that section, i liked it in some ways; you got us to assume it was celestia we were "seeing", then you turned that around, nice job. although, at the same time; it was kind of annoying that you really painted one picture, then all of sudden you changed the base to someone else; therefore crashing the entire picture. that "crash" could have been avoided if you used the guards for example as the base, we don't really need twilight's thoughts to be fooled into thinking it's celestia. ah well, it's just slightly annoying.
to finish, *ahem*: MOAR!!
897757
Glad you liked it! (I think?)
As you described it, the opening achieved it's goal.
I was pretty confident that I had the thoughts pictured to be like Celestia, but not unfitting for Twilight as well (the hardcore fan might be able to spot a few hints here and there before the actual revelation 
). Maybe that needs some further tweaking though.
Considering her close relationship, and the stuff that will unfold soon, this will probably make more sense later.
Thanks for the feedback!
897781
"Glad you liked it! (I think?)"
you don't need to worry about that, definitely liked it, i was hoping i had made that abundantly clear with the initial and finishing sentences
i can see why you wanted us to believe that it was celestia in the beginning, and don't get me wrong on that part; i loved it, but think of it like this: you want us to picture celestia, and you succeed, but you also get us to base everything we read on that we're actually "hearing" and "seeing" celestia, when that is torn down; everything else goes with it, which practically forces some ppl to re-read the entire first section. if you would have instead focused, for example, on the guards while they walk to her chambers, they could be talking about the "princess" (making us believe it's celestia through their discussion instead), and then unveil that it's actually twilight they're talking about when they greet the "princess" and then cutting it there after something similar of what you used in the actual opening. that still forces us to change our view, but it doesn't change anything in the given picture, just whom they're talking about, therefore our "picture" still stands.
but as i said, this is just a minor annoyance on my part, it would have been worse if that part had been over half the chapter or something like that
fitting picture i guess:
image1.masterfile.com/em_w/00/54/42/700-00544284w.jpg
897945
Very interesting! I keep that in mind.
Hmmm this is interesting.
897992
Please to update?
1079989
Still working on it. Had to rewrite a lot to make it better.
Woot. I am 100th like.
It's good so far. Looking forward to moar.
I hope you do update this at some point, because it's very good.
1691571
Neat. It probably looks like that, huh?
Pretty awesome story. I can't wait for more of this. Also, I absolutely love your avatar. Cheerilee is best background pony.
This is vey promising. I hope it comes off of hiatus soon, and we won't have to play 1691571
I await. .... slowly.
R.I.P
1691571
1693603 I would say it does.