Chapter 7: Lonely Day
Crying would have made it easier to deal with, a few tears to wash her internal battlefield. For some reason, the ducts blatantly refused to open. Rainbow Dash grunted in frustration and leaped from the cloud she was standing on. Her mind was a swinging pendulum of two distinct groups of emotion. She was furious at herself for what she had done the previous night and terrified of the consequences. Why had she done it? Why had she forcefully kissed him just after...? ‘I don’t really want things to change between us.’ The words flashed through her mind, teasing her. She grit her teeth and forced herself to fly faster, heading in no particular direction. She wanted to escape, to not have to think about it, but every time she tried to stop all the anger, frustration and fear would just come flooding back even stronger. ‘I always want to be there for you.’ No matter how fast she flew, there was no way to outrun her thoughts. A warmth spread around her waist and over her chest as she subconsciously recalled the feeling of Spike curled around her body, resting his head on her chest. Feeling those cool purple scales against her her flesh brought forth-
“NO!” Dash slapped herself across the face hard enough to leave a mark. She couldn't feel that way about him. He was a dragon for Celestia’s sake. When she kissed him, it must have been the spur of the moment. She just got over excited and... kissed him with more passion than she thought she possessed. Her lips tingled in remembrance. Her body demanded that she stop, but she pushed herself further. The dry wind berated her eyes; stinging them painfully. She screwed them shut as they began to water. They were only an automatic response and did nothing to console her. ‘You are truly amazing, Rainbow Dash.’ That tore it. She reared up and bucked an impressive hole in a cloud. Grunting again, she collapsed on another nearby nimbus; defeated. Burying her head in the fluffy mass, she whimpered. Still, she couldn’t release her pent up emotions. They would remain in her psyche until she could come to terms with them. That just made it all the more painful. Who could help her? She couldn’t tell any pony about what happened, lest she be ridiculed for having potentially romantic feelings for a member of another species. She had to do this on her own.
“Dash!”
She could have sworn she heard glass breaking. How could he have possibly found her? Sure enough, upon looking up, Dash saw a purple dragon approaching her from afar. No, she couldn’t bare to talk to him now. Before Spike could get any closer, she rolled over and off the cloud. After dropping a dozen or so metres, her wings unfurled and started beating powerfully.
“Dash! I just want to talk to you!”
What would he say? That he just wanted to be friends? Not wanting an answer to the question, Dash tried to outrun him. Normally, it would not have taken all that much effort, but her outburst not long before had already tired her. The sky spread out before her, offering no refuge from her pursuer. She needed an escape, somewhere she could lose him. The consideration that he would eventually find her never entered her mind, however. All she wanted to do was avoid the problem. Little did she realise that there was no running or hiding from herself.
She saw it, Ghastly Gulch; a jagged swath through the earth. It was indeed an odd rock formation, but an easy way of evading the dragon. She banked towards it and dove into it’s maw. The rock walls swallowed her instantly. Naturally, the dragon followed her in, if at a far slower pace. The blurs of turquoise and violet weaved through the twists and turns; the distance between them undeniably closing.
Dash could hear Spike calling something, but his words were unintelligible over the roar of the wind. Every time she glanced back, he seemed to have gained ground. A tangle of thorny vines that grew across the gorge loomed in front of her. Each needle-like spike was visible and glared threateningly at her. A small gap in the hazardous wall was all she needed. It was small, but she could make it. The spikes around the gap looked sharper than the others, daring her to make one mistake and be butchered. She flew low to the ground on the approach, building up speed. Perfectly timed, she angled her trajectory upwards toward the hole and collapsed her wings against her body. Her momentum carried the pegasus into the hole.
Her flank stung as a rogue needle sliced it’s way easily through her flesh. She roared with pain but luckily did not falter. She continued through the cylinder of space and out the other side. Behind her, Spike halted. It was far too small for him to fit. He groaned in frustration as he began ascending, intending to go around it.
The delay significantly widened the gap between the pony and dragon. Had she been capable of looking at the situation normally, Dash would have had to give it to him; whatever it was he wanted to say, he was determined to let it be known. Despite being on the verge of losing her in the maze of bare granite, he still pressed on with as much effort as he had when he started. The fact that he was about to lose sight of her only bolstered his resolve.
A mass of red erupting from the wall of the cavern forced Dash to swerve sharply in order to avoid being crushed between the opposite wall and a large serpentine head. The creature’s open snout impacted the rock wall with a high pitched thud.
Spike was unaware of the existence of these possible relatives and made no attempt to avoid alerting them to his presence. The first serpent to lunge at him misjudged the dragon’s speed and did so prematurely. He flared his wings vertically to bleed off speed quickly and avoid a collision.
Just as he came to a complete stop, another of the serpents sped at him from the other direction, long, dagger like teeth bared. Spike had only enough time to turn in the direction of the oncoming beast when it slammed into him, taking part of his body into it’s jaw. With incredible strength, it bit down on his comparatively meagre frame. His vocal chords worked on their own as he yelped in pain. The sharper canine teeth of the serpent pierced his soft belly scales easily and were quickly coated in the dragon’s blood. Clutching at his wounds with one hand, he lashed out with his other claws and swept them across the serpent’s eye. It released it’s captive quickly. Pulling it’s head back and shaking it furiously, the creature looked at him with it’s undamaged eye. With it’s mouth closed tightly, the serpent leaped forward again and rammed Spike with it’s muzzle. He was powerless as he was slammed into the wall of the gulch with a horrible cracking sound. Having not braced himself, his stomach was oriented towards the monster. The impact broke several ribs and tore the ligament in the elbow of the arm he used to try to shield himself.
Winded and dazed, he plummeted towards the ground; a dry creek bed.
Ghastly Gulch, being far from the reaches of pony civilisation, was notorious for unstable rock formations. At times, the movement of a seemingly insignificant pebble could trigger a small landslide. Using that logic, one could estimate that the force of Spike slamming into the wall of the gulch, applied to precisely the right position, would be enough to significantly change the landscape.
Rainbow Dash, after hearing a considerable commotion, glanced over her shoulder. Not wanting to put her lead in jeopardy, she doubled back and looked around a bend in the fissure just in time to witness an horrific sight. A heavily bloodied purple dragon dropped lifelessly toward the ground, relentlessly pursued by a cascading wall of boulders. His wings, completely taught, caught enough atmospheric resistance to slow his descent so that the heavier and more aerodynamic boulders fell faster. This did mean however, that several of them berated Spike with bone shattering impacts.
With a thunderous rumble, the leading edge of the rock slide completed it’s journey; the dragon quickly depositing itself between the larger rocks beneath and the smaller rocks above.
A sky blue pegasus searched frantically through the rubble. Dash called his name, hoping for a response that she had no hope of receiving. Nothing protruded from the mountain of jagged rocks. Her eyes scanned over the scene; nothing but granite and dust. Everywhere she looked there was only the repeated cobblestone pattern. An eerie silence fell, betrayed only by the sound of beating wings.
She saw it, the small patch of red diluting the sea of grey. A single, clawed hand could be seen unmoving. A large gash over the back of the hand was bleeding profusely, creating the crimson puddle that had first drawn her attention.
An icy chill flooded her heart with panic. “Spike!” she shrieked. Dash started lifting away the rocks that had buried him. When she lifted piece of debris that had entombed his head, an eye absently opened. It rolled around to look at her. She paused from her digging to look into the emerald shrouded vertical slit. It simply stared up at her pleadingly. The orb became glossy and blinked twice, droplets of water trailing from the corners. “Spike...” The eye closed before she could continue.
Dash went back to shifting away the rubble. “Hold on, Spike, I’ll get you out of this!” She winced as she revealed more of his scaly body, covered in scratches and deep cuts.
“Nurse Tenderheart, transfer all of my appointments for the next few hours, see if you can get Doctor X-ray in here, and have the operating room prepped. Nurse Redheart, get to the supply locker and get as many compression bandages and gauze rolls as you can carry. We’re going to need a lot. As for the rest of you, get him on the bed and hooked up. I want his vitals shown on these screens five minutes ago. Come on ponies, we’re still on golden hour time here! Let’s keep it that way!” The grey coated doctor barked orders as he wheeled an unconscious Spike through the sterile hallways of the hospital, flanked by nurses and fellow physicians. Rainbow Dash followed closely behind, watching anxiously as they brought the gurney next to a fixed bed.
A nurse took up position opposite to the doctor as they prepared a well rehearsed action. “1, 2, 3.” On the third signal, the doctor and nurse simultaneously rolled Spike onto the fresh sheets. The assistants attached various electrodes and monitors across his figure as the stallion running the show turned to face Dash.
“Ms Dash, you need to tell me what happened,” he instructed bluntly.
Countless thoughts and reservations flowed through the mare’s mind. “I... he... well...” she stammered.
The doctor clopped a hoof to his forehead and groaned. “Ugh, I don’t have time for this. I don’t care why it happened right now, just tell me what,” he urged as he levitated a clip board in front of himself.
The pegasus swallowed her nerves and tried again. “I think he was attacked by one of those serpents at Ghastly Gulch, I’m not sure of it though, I didn’t see it. I only saw him get buried under a tonne of rubble-”
“Doctor!” Their attention was drawn to a nurse standing over a trembling but still unconscious purple dragon. “He’s going into shock!”
The doctor threw his clip board to the desk beside him and rushed over to the nurse. “He’s in second stage. Get an IV drip and begin intubation, stat.”
Rainbow Dash stood there, frozen in place and with a blank expression. She winced as a doctor proceeded to open Spike’s mouth and drive a pipe down his throat. At the same time, nurse Redheart struggled to insert a large needle into his wrist as he began to shake more violently. The spasms escalated in intensity, eventually needing two of the security ponies to restrain the dragon from hurting one of the staff by way of a flailing arm or leg. The mare couldn’t stop watching as her best friend was relieved of the responsibility of breathing by an oxygen pump.
One of the resident doctors spoke up. “Sir, we’ve patched up the external wounds but I can see heavy bruising around the ribs.”
The lead doctor carefully inspected the area of steadily darkening scales before announcing, “We’ve got internal bleeding here, and a lot of it. Tenderheart, is the operating room prepped?”
“Yes doctor,” the nurse pony replied swiftly.
“Good, in that case, we’re going in for emergency surgery. If we let this go for much longer, he could enter the third stage.”
Shortly after, Spike was whisked away to the operating theatre, escorted by several hospital staff. The dull grey double doors reconnected and the group disappeared, leaving Rainbow Dash alone yet again.
The pegasus slumped further into her seat. The only sound in the room was the rhythmic ticking of the wall clock. All other seats in the room were empty, as would be wanted. One would hope that these particular occurrences were rare. She stared blankly at the floor, too terrified to blink. With every brief moment of visual silence, that cruel work of the imagination would surface. She would see Spike lying there dying, surrounded by complete strangers. She could feel his fear; of leaving this world suddenly, violently and alone.
Dash briefly looked at the door that led through treatment area and ultimately, the operating room, before returning her gaze to the floor. There was no doubt in her mind that Twilight would be there soon. The messenger sent to find the legal guardian of the patient made sure of that.
A frantic clopping of hooves sounded from the direction of the entrance signified the expected mare’s arrival. The supposed fastest flier in Equestria flinched as the doors exploded outwards, bathed in a purple aura.
“WHERE IS HE? WHERE’S SPIKE?” Twilight Sparkle’s mane and tail had become disheveled, the normally straight pink and purple streak askew. Her eyes darted around the room, before settling on the sky blue mare. “Oh, Rainbow! What happened?” Her tone was commanding and certainly conveyed the seriousness of the situation. The unicorn quickly drew closer, awaiting a response.
Dash stiffened in her seat, hesitant to recall the events of the day. “Uh... Well, you see... I didn’t see it all, but... He was flying through Ghastly Gulch and-”
“Ghastly Gulch?!” Twilight leaned back slightly and looked the pegasus over. “What was he doing there?”
Dash couldn’t maintain eye contact as she answered, “He was... chasing after me.”
“What?! Why was he chasing after you? Was this another one of your little races? What could make you do something so STUPID?!” Rage started building in her eyes as she brought her face closer expectantly.
“It wasn’t like that. It wasn’t a race. I just... really didn’t want to see him at the time.”
“Mmhm, and why is that? What reason could you possibly have for wanting to get away from him so badly, that you deliberately put him in danger?” The words made Dash feel sick. As much as she wanted to try, she knew there was no way to defend herself from the accusation.
The pegasus bit her tongue. “After what happened on Nightmare Night, I was... I dunno...”
“Rainbow? Why were you trying to avoid him?” the other mare asked flatly.
Dash could feel her heart beating faster at the recollection of that moment of ignorant bliss, whatever the consequences for such an action may have been. “I... I kinda... kissed him.”
Twilight appeared to unhinge. A dozen different emotions flashed across her face in the space of a few seconds. Before it could settle on disapproval, they were interrupted by an intentional cough.
“Are you both here for Spike?” asked the doctor, his face sobering. The two mares approached the stallion.
“How is he?” Dash beat Twilight to the question, but neither were sure whether they wanted to hear the answer. The unicorn physician’s expression did not ease their worry.
“We’ve done everything we can.” The standard response from the grey unicorn filled the room with an unholy tension. “He’s alive, but only just.” He brought the clip board from earlier up to his face and listed the injuries. “Severe concussion, high blood loss from the wounds to his abdomen, five broken ribs, one of which almost punctured his aorta, another one punctured a lung. He also clinically died three times. The good news is that we’ve fixed his punctured lung and his aorta remains intact...”
“And the bad news?” Twilight prompted.
“He’s lost a lot of blood; more than I think he can survive and we don’t have any way of supplementing it. Plus, that concussion might have done some damage we can’t detect. For now, we’ve put him in an induced coma to give his body a fighting chance. I’m sorry to say at this point we can only wait and see. I’m not going to lie to you; I don’t even know if he’ll survive the night.”
“Can we see him?” Twilight’s voice trembled under the weight of the tidings. Her legs shook ever so slightly.
“Of course. He’s right this way.” The doctor motioned for the two to follow.
Dash, still trying to rid herself of the shock, turned to her trembling friend. “Twilight, I’m-”
“Don’t talk to me,” she scolded, before following the stallion.
All present in the room remained silent, watching as a mother grieved for her gravely injured son. The soft hissing of a pneumatic pump and the quiet beeping of the dragon’s heartbeat were the only sounds the to pervade the respectful quite. From the inside, through the viewing window of the hospital room, many of the lights had been turned off as working hours ended and the graveyard shift began.
Never before had any of the group seen Spike as vulnerable as he was now, laying on a bare and sterilized bed. Two shafts snaked their way up his snout to assist in his breathing. Patches of white material marked the positions of numerous external injuries. A drip had been introduced to ensure his blood had the proper levels of nutrients.
“You can do this, Spike. You can get through this...”
Gradually, each of the members of the group departed, their thoughts still dwelling on the plight of their draconic friend.
Her legs would not take her out of the room, no matter how much she willed. Whether it was from the guilt, worry or frustration, Rainbow Dash found herself approaching the bed.
Dash squeezed her eyes shut as tears ran freely down the sides of her face. Through the course of the day, she had wept not a single tear. Now that she was alone, with nothing but her thoughts and a sight that had chilled her soul with a fear greater than anything she could have ever imagined, the floodgates had opened with a torrent of pent up emotions. Gently, she worked a hoof under one of Spike’s cold and lifeless hands, so that the fingers fell around it, as if grasping it. With a deep, ragged breath, she made a simple plea.
“Spike...” She bit down on her free hoof as she winced. Even uttering his name was like an icy stab to her heart. After a few moments of gathering willpower, she made another attempt. “Spike... If you can hear me, squeeze my hoof.” She looked to his face with pleading, bloodshot eyes. No response came; not a single discernible movement. “That’s all you have to do,” she continued, “just... squeeze me hoof... please.” Silence fell upon the scene of desperation. Minutes past and Rainbow Dash kept waiting.
The bitterest feelings of defeat engulfed the cyan mare. She pressed her forehead against his forearm and shut her eyes tightly. “Please, Spike! Don’t go!” her voice shook erratically. “I’m sorry! I don’t care if you hate me, just don’t DIE!” The white sheet beneath Spike’s arm was quickly being soaked with tears as the beads rolled off of his waterproof scales. “You mean so much to the others! You mean so much to... to ME! Please, don’t go! Please don’t go. Please don’t go. Please... don’t go...” Heaving sobs convulsed her chest.
Spike could not hear her cries, however. He could not wrap his arms around the distraught filly and tell her it would be okay. He could not wipe the tears from her face and end her sadness. He could not run his hand through her mane to comfort her. He could not tell her that he would never hate her, no matter what she did. No, Spike could not do any of these things, because his mind was no longer of this world, with a part of Rainbow Dash about to join him.
“I... I... I... love you, Spike. Please don’t leave me...”
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Author's Note:
Yes, I decided to put these not in the story but way down here. I just didn't want to break the atmosphere I tried to establish. Hopefully I made you at least feel a little sad or lonely. My one and only pre-reader said it was good. I am the author, therefore I did plan this out and write it slowly, so it probably wouldn't have as a strong emotional effect on my as it did for you. Mind you, this is the first time I have ever tried to make my readers cry in a narrative. If you want more sad, visit my page and take a look at the poem I wrote called, "Without His Rainbow". Just to clear things about that up, someone once pointed out that Spike would still (even in my headcanon) outlive Rainbow Dash by many, many years. That's where the poem originated. I suppose it doesn't really have any relevance to this fic (maybe just a really sad seperate epilogue).
In other news, just because I like sharing with the community, apparently, I look a little like Major Hughes from Full Metal Alchemist
Anyways, I hope you enjoyed reading this and it wasn't a disappointment to you.
Thanks for reading,
~MagaSpark
NEXT PART NOW!!!!!
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Manly tears. You really care about the characters in this. Spike as a beloved son, friend and possible significant other. Please don't kill him.
I'll pay you in souls is you keep in alive.
Peace out.
s3.amazonaws.com/kym-assets/entries/icons/original/000/002/796/447px-Manlytears3.jpg?1275218057
Ya man I love SOAD
Many a manly tear has been shed on this day.
More!
The scissors to cut a characters life thread... a most powerful tool.... please don't use them...
Yeah, it just doesn't work if you announce it in advance. Sorry.
like a said on DA ''NUUUUUUUUUUUUUU SPIKE''
i.neoseeker.com/mgv/20339-MarioMaster02/339/83/rainbow_sad_by_kawaiipiepied3jbejq_display.jpg
Manly tears of manliness hath been shed.
Also, he's to dead yet, just in a coma. I'm really hoping for a happy ending.
This is a great story, and you should feel great.
oh god no not the sad moment! i wasnt ready yet.....
You make me cry you basterd
Pleeease don't make this a sad fic
And spike should use his awesome fire breath once , cuz fire is so awesome
very well written story, just..... don't kill spike, please
When you lose someone you love, you die too, and you wait around for your body to catch up.~John Scalzi
keep it up
Don't kill
please 
I don't think we can take it man.
You magnificent bastard. You waited so long I did somehow forget about the sadness-nuke. What I got was a distinct feeling of "DUN DUN DUUUUUUN" when she went into the Gulch. I just knew shit was about to go down.
Really sad for Twi too, this will keep her awake and worrying like a motherfucker. Manly tears indeed. Seriously, don't kill Spike :(
The only thing sadder than this would be him hating Rainbow when he wakes up. Not avoid but hating her and not giving a fuck because she worried Twilight (his "mom"). That is what I am really scared of now...
A good writer can make us feel like we are there, a great writer can make us feel. You made me shed tears at the the end and feel Dashie's pain. By Epona and Gaea make him live, make him survive so he and Rainbow Dash can make little pony-dragons and so we can see "Grandma Twilight".
In the Name of Her Serene Majesty,
Celestia's Paladin: For Honor and Duty, For the Sun and Moon
MagaSpark, you are a damned-good author, my fine friend. That's a massive understatement, but that's all I can say. As far as this chapter goes, I am closer to shedding tears than I have been in quite awhile. For some reason, I don't cry (like, EVER), but this.... this ALMOST brought me there. EASILY as sad as "My Little Dashie". When Rainbow said "I love you"..... my heart just melted there.
Anyway, my monologue askew, keep up the good work, my friend. And do everyone a favor here: NEVER stop writing. I've said it multiple times, but you're one of the best I've seen, not just on this site, but anywhere.
(BTW, i think I just may illustrate that scene with dash sitting by Spike's bedside in tears for you as well, and you can insert it into the next chapter: this segment has inspired me. As usual, hope you don't mind me taking it upon myself.
)
I almost shed a tear not bad at all
69177
Go right ahead with that. If it turns out anywhere near as well as your last drawing I'd be grateful to put it in the next chapter. Oh and, I don't have any plans to stop writing. I'll probably do it for the rest of my life.
69081
. I should have done more research (Hell, I did research into shock and how it's treated so that's fairly accurate in the last chapter).
Okay, okay, you got me
As for the rest of you, you have collectively swayed my plans for the next chapter. I don't think I'll wake him up. Him surviving would be predictable, wouldn't it?
Spike'll be fine right....right?
Damnit Rainbow.... The WORST possible time to say those three words!
69231
Wow. Don't go spoiling the ending for us.
In any case, aside from a few small errors, this is a wonderfully written chapter. Dash's internal monologue near both the beginning really helped show parts of of her personality that aren't shown very often. For the most part, she is a mare of action, letting her instincts and emotions guide her rather than logic and reasoning. This of course led to her kissing Spike. However, the instant she did, her entire thought process went into overdrive, causing her to make conclusions to questions that haven't even been asked yet. Then, switching back to her instincts again, she flew away from what she thought would be an emotionally trying event. On the other hand, Spike seems to be more a vehicle for the continuation of the plot than an actual character. While I can understand the purpose behind putting him into a coma, the idea of just killing him off all of sudden seems a tad excessive. Not only would it make it hard to continue the story for more than one or two chapters, it would make it hard for the reader to become emotionally invested into another character. Moving on from the characters themselves, the setting and background are beautifully written. My only complaint,however, would be that the lyrics scattered throughout the chapter tend to break the overall flow and divert attention away from the story. On that note, the slightly excessive foreshadowing in the last paragraph also seemed a bit out-of-sorts with the rest of the chapter.
69475
Sorry if i seem a little harsh. The little critic in my head smelled an possible easy character death and got a little energetic. I really did enjoy the chapter though.
69231
Ooohhh you...
Seriously, I am torn between hugging and murdering you. Might do both. This is incredible well written and incredible tough on my emotional being. The sole fact you dropped that thing on us is just mean, but now teasing about the epitome of sadness plus one is just plain evil :(
......
69791
I think I broke him... 
I'm sorry, but in my honest opinion the song lyrics really ruined an otherwise great chapter.
You've written yourself into a very difficult situation, since there are really only two possible outcomes... Technicalities aside (it's brilliant as always, though I did see just one or two "it's/its" errors, my pet peeve), I'm extremely curious to where it'll go from here...
70400 While there may be two distinct paths the story could take, there are many, many, many different outcomes.
Hmmm. You know, I've been following this story since chapter 1 and the last two chapter's were a bit ridiculous in my opinion. The sudden kiss and Rainbow's emotional breakdown were pretty off-putting, Spike's injuries left me questioning if the dark turn was REALLY where the romance needed to head or if it was just fishing for cheap emotional feedback.
But killing Spike off? It feels like your compensating for something, like you HAVE to make this fic make your readers sad or you'll feel disappointed.
I know most readers are impacted, but for me, it just feels like we had a pretty-lighthearted romance go dark for no real good reason.
It started out promising, and you always had a unique setting with Spike x Dash, but this is going a bit too far.
Decent writing at least. Just a rather strange plot.
Your gonna kill them both, aren't you?
71550
I understand completely where you're coming from and accept your criticism. Believe me when I say that there are a LOT of things I would change if I were to do this again. The overall plot would be one of them. I've never actually been good with the plot in any story. What is the term? I have no problem with my writing, but I desperately need to improve my 'storytelling' (i.e. plot points). I should really refrain from reading other fics while planning. The reason being that I tend to let my state of mind influence my writing and plot. That, in my opinion, is my single greatest weakness. I would be lying if I were to tell you that the thought of cancelling it or putting it on hiatus until a later time hadn't crossed my mind. Alas, what has been done, cannot be undone and I think I choose to see this through to the end.
It is worth noting I have a couple of short practice one-shots in the works where I am trying to focus more on creating a believable and effective plot. They will probably end up on this site.
While it's true you said he'd outlive her by a long time, in one of the prvious chapters, you state that his particular species, when growing up nomally and not through greed, lives to be somewhere around 150 years old on average(Assuming that is the max after medical technology has advanced). Assuming ponies have a similar life-span to humans, RD Could live to around Spike's age if Spike has a somewhat shorter life-span.
While that could be an effect of the accident in the gorge, it wouldn't really make sense as comas make the body heal faster. So I'd go with something genetic, like a naturally shorter lifespan, which would have him die somewhere around the age of 110. So in dragon years it be like him dying at an age around 60-75.
Where's my chapter 8? WHERE'S MY CHAPTER 8?
(context>>79966)
It's, it's, IT'S SOOO SAD!!!
WOW...when you say weapons grade depression, you mean it...
still, im on the edge of my seat...great job....
oh, and if you stop writing...I WILL EAT YOUR LIMBS!
thanks
So uh. What happened to the next part?
Please don't say that you've stopped it, this is just too great to end at such a low note... It's a cliffhanger de-luxe, and teetering on the edge like this is not healthy for us bronies. It can lead to fatal mind-failure.
133277 Patience is a virtue. I can promise you there will be another part. It will just take a while.
134562
Indeed. I've just seen too many good stories suddenly die, and it's sad when they're as good as this. You've done a magnificent job with it so far :3
Hey people!
I'm fairly new to the fandom but in the short time I've been around (think a couple weeks) I've seen very good writing here. I will admit that I wasn't a fan of MLP prior to stumbling upon Fallout Equestria but the thing snowballed from there.
I have since watched both seasons of the show and I've noticed a couple things that irk me about the fandom... chiefly that people tend to ignore supporting cast that is actually integral to the makeup of many of the main characters. Chief among those is Spike and so I'm glad to find stories like yours that bring him to the spotlight and does a great job of fleshing out a more mature Spike witohut messing up his makeup.
While the pairing is odd to say the least, the set up you created for your story is very plausible so I can squint and run with it (plus, I'm a sucker for Dash... major brownie points for picking her instead of any other flier out there) I've got to say that by the time we get to this latest chapter, I find myself rooting for them both. And then you throw this curveball... that was pretty evil. Still, it was surprising because I didn't expect conflict of this sort to be what showed up first. Given that I imagine that an interspecies relationship is bound to have a slew of problems all on its own that I hope you will go into (from physical compatibility down to the old standby of what will THEY say) having Spike almost die?! That was uncalled for! Damn surprising and altogether useful but still cruel :P
If there's anything I would criticize about your story is that I feel you rushed a lot through Spike's initial growth spurt. While I realize that it isn't the focus of the story, I think that his worries about being accepted now that he didn't look like a cuddly walking zippo were legitimate (and quite ignored) if only because of all the troubles Ponyville's had with dragons even when Equestria as a whole seems to have a more live and let live outlook on firebreathing lizards.
Congrats on a great work and hoping for the next chapter!
PS Don't kill Spike! O.O
Nooooooo! Please for celestia's sake finish this masterpiece!!!!
I read through this and maintained my composure... until the very end that is. I like to pride myself as being hard to upset into tears, but reading this pushed the barrier of my manhood. Needless to say, i shed many a manly tear for the outcome. I would have loved had it ended on a slightly happier note, but alas i am not the conductor of this train. I am merely along for the ride.
I would make a humble plea that you not allow him to die. Mostly out of the selfish need for this to have a happy ending. A story doesn't have to be sad to play at someones emotions. Alas it will be as you deign so i will leave you to your machinations.
Aside from my selfishness, this was composed expertly and i found it a rather enjoyable read. excellent work and good tidings.
LaeviG
Is that the end... That can't be the end, there has to be more......
gosh &%$$^!!! NEXT PART
ZOMG IM DYING, I HAVE TO KNOW!!!!111!!!!one!!!
Dead fic is dead fic...
Fffffff- UPDATE ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
