Damn. @_@

"As quickly as you cannabis, you turn your head to the right."

Autocorrect knows you a bit too well, it seems.

4827832

4827852 Especially when little grey pony rape is involved. Remember kids, if a little grey pegasus ever tries to rape you, prepare non-perishable foods so that when you go on a drug-induced killing spree you won't end up in the semi-interpretive ending to a rushed fanfic.

4827996

fuck that turned dark really fast

i sorta saw it coming with his concussion and drugged state, i figured something like this was gonna happen which makes it less painful
still hurts though

at the end where derpy appears is a very nice touch and good way to let us know he's about to die without actually telling us (well you did tell us but it was towards the end). i like it when writers do things like that. anyways it was a fun ride a shame i was hoping for a happy ending and yeah i wish you did more with it too XD

it was still good though

4826247 Wow your profile picture is perfect for this story

I've just entered hell's slice of heaven.

And I like it.

Spoilers Below!

Hey for whats it's worth I enjoyed what you wrote and if you want to do more with it go right ahead, people rewrite stories all the time. It did feel rushed towards the end like you wanted to get it over really quick and anon kind of died like a pussy and didn't man up to his crime. I still am surprised Anon didn't just get a restraining order on Derpy as she fits the criteria on some things like sexual assault, stalking, criminal trespass etc. Instead he kind of jumps the shark and loses his shit in a blind rage and i am reminded of a moment from a show.

I mean all he lost was his home, he still had pretty much all of himself intact and he still had a chance to recover but he just kind of loses it which makes me sad. This isn't really the way I imagined the story ending but I enjoyed what they had here also too bad for Derpy's daughter who now no longer has a mother. That wasn't really explored either but i had fun with this story and was always excited for when it updated so thumbs up for that. So if I could rate this story I would rate it a 6/10 an above average reading session which might be considered generous because of that sub-par ending but I enjoyed what the story was and what it set itself out to do so until we meet again I wish you a great day .

Wait....who did he stab?

4828889 I think he killed Carrot.

Nice ending.

4828340 Okay. I re-read the part you are talking about. Before, I had only read the green text rough draft of this story. I wanted to make sure Sneaky did not add anything to it that I did not know about.

So here is the issue I have with your argument: rape is never okay. It does not matter how much money someone throws down literally trying to buy your love. It does not matter how heart broken the party in question will feel when you tell them 'no.'

I would also like to point out that the necklace brakes unintentionally when Anon shoves Derpy off of himself while she is in the act of raping.

You mention that you would not object to this if it happened to you. In that case it would no longer be rape, and the only problem is that this would be going down in a public park. Typically having sex in front of children is frowned upon.

If this had happened to me, it would have ended a lot more violently which is why I think Derpy got off easy.

"carving her head up like a jack-o-lantern"
"performing hara-kiri on her eye"

I should not be laughing right now.

I actually want a sequel or another yandere story.
:/

4828278 Eh, I wrote it that way under the excuse that he was on drugs and brain-damaged.
God, do I love the Boondocks.

4828938

Her eyes are tired but wide, and she sports a bad case of bed head.

She looks back at you, her eyes crossed in that weird way they always are when something happens to her.

The dim light gives her fur an eery yellow glow.

You got it m8

4829296 4828340
This is a pretty good explanation. The most recent case where someone got creepily obsessed with me (yes, most recent case. This shit happens to me way too often), the guy gave me a brand-new springsuit (probably worth around 200 US dollars) and several fair tickets -- all which I fervently tried to refuse because I knew what he was doing -- but he held it over my head when I stopped hanging around him. It's a really nasty trick, because you actually do end up feeling bad.

4829715 I may make another yandere story at some later date, just not so dark. I'll be sure to let ya'll know if I do

4828981 Thank you, good sir.

4828052 I may make something like this later on. Only difference would be that it would be more lighthearted and such. I actually had trouble writing this because I actually like Derpy, and writing her as an obsessive creep didn't sit well with me

4829810 yeah lol derpy is probably my favorite and it was hard for me to read this since it was a bit out of character for her but at the same time kinda legit, but that title is so fking good and the picture. anyways i regret nothing

Amazing job for a attempt at a dark story 5 out of 5 derpy licks

4828139 how about mine?

This... This story started out so innocent.... I had no idea what 'yandere' was and I wasn't ready for..... that. It was a good read though.

I had to re read that ending and I just realised Derpy said

“I knew you would come back to me, Anon. I knew that, someday, you would realize you love me... even if it took you up until your final breaths.”

so I guess that means Anon died too?

4830660 https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/jk6wded2j9vh7hq/Screenshot_2.png Derp?

4832532 I derped up

.............................

I feel that this deserves a tragedy tag since somepony innocent was slain during a crazy delusion.

When I was reading the end of this, when I realized he killed Carrot, I imagined the "Saw" theme playing in the background.

4843832 Actually, yes. I can.

4833851 is right!!! ugh!

Good story

i dont see the romance its just the guy runing away lol

Damn, oh well

5311470
Eye've got a whole corneacopia of eye puns. Are you ready, kids?

Eye-eye, captain!

(Yes, I know I'll get lashed for telling all these.)

One might suppose Derpy's keeping an eye on Anon, but honestly, iris she would do it more figuratively, as her method isn't eyedeal. It's still eye-catching, though.

The way she keeps pestering him certainly gets on his optic nerve. --Why, she's practically making a spectacle of herself, especially in the park.

Keep your eyes peeled, Anon. Derpy's lurking, and you're running out of glauc.

All right, time to put a lid on it. See you later!

Sent from my eyePhone

stories like these are why I love the fandom
it can be funny as well as dark and disturbing to the point that I want to curl up into a ball and eat ice cream

DUH FUK I JUST READ D:

Fucking creepy for some people and maybe if this was written differently this would a fetish wow I think my view Derpy has been completely destroyed or at least it will take me awhile to recover if that is what you set out to then you have succeeded on a side note the references were funny in fact this had a lot of funny moments but God that's creepy

I'm scared.

I'm fucking scared.

Holy shit that was one hell of a ride.

Uhm...

Okay...uhhhh

I don't know what to say but I like this story

I really want to see another story like this; we don't have enough yandere stories on this site. Out of all of the ones I've read, this one is the best.

um my reaction was somewhere between i don't get it to WHAT THE EVERLASTING FUCK JUST HAPPENED.

So...did he kill Carrot? How did Derpy escape? Why do I like Yandere stories? Was it Twilight's eye in his sink!?

TELL ME!!!!

please....

was anyone else waiting for derpy to appear all burnt and charred at anons bed

So was Derpy dead or did she kill anon? I want a extra chapter with them in the after life.

The ending upsets me greatly.

Good up until the ending.

This is so sad, Alexa play despactio

Yay a yandere fic.

Sequel

6912289
i was