77 I have been drinking enough to poison a small community of elephants and didn't proof read. She'll be right though, I rarely edit anyway. How many letters can I put in a title? Yes, this is a good title. I'll type until FimFic stops me
Hunched over your desk in what must be a very familiar sight if you didn't work alone; you sign, dot, refer, and file the endless paperwork. Even though it doesn't make sense that you have to do this much. Sometimes you wonder if some evil mare out there is somehow conspiring to give you more paperwork as an inconvenience or if the ponies of this town don't understand what a mayor should do. Then again, that's comparing two different cultures. Maybe other mayors in other towns do this much work, which is a question you always seem to forget to ask when you meet one.
You lean back, bones wheeze as they attempt to unstiffen, and then you stretch out. And now you've noticed the outside world in what must have been hours from when you began. You remove your glasses to rub them clean idly with a handkerchief. While you don't need glasses, it was expected that a mayor would wear them. That was something Minister Mare taught you back when she was still Mayor Mare. It would be like a unicorn without a horn, a Pegasus without their wings, or whatever it is Earth ponies have going on. "A mayor isn't a mayor without a pair of glasses, the fair ponies of this town expect it," she would say. And so you commissioned a custom pair of fake glasses.
The most infuriating part, is that everyone thinks that you're off duty when you're not wearing them and now that you wear them so often you have grown habits any glasses wearing person would have. You hold the pair up into the light to check for smudges and then place them back on your nose, adjusting them a little until the pads sit back into the little indents they have made on your nose.
"I guess I should be getting home," you grumble at the night sky.
You place a few pieces of paperwork into a suitcase and shuffle on home.
"You're late," calls Moonie lounging upside down on your chair.
"I know. What did you and Trixie have for dinner?"
"Pizza."
"Any left?" You ask as you walk past and hit the lever for the chair to recline.
Moonie yelps a little and then pouts, giving you the silent treatment. You just smile and walk into the kitchen. There's a pizza box in there but upon closer inspection, only a single slice remains.
"You kids are all heart," you call out as you take a bite.
"Kids? Trixie isn't a kid. She's a fully grown mare. When is she moving out?"
"This entire town are like kids to me. Besides, Trixie fell on hard times so I let her live here where she does the bare minimum, causes trouble, and eats all my food. Sounds like someone else I know," you grumble with a smile as you lay out on the couch.
"EXACTLY! I spent years to get where I am, and she just waltzes in on my turf!"
"Your turf?" You scoff.
"Yes, this is my home!"
"I'm pretty sure I own the deed to the place," you chuckle, egging Moonie on who is getting visibly more upset.
"A minor detail, I am your queen!"
You finish the last piece of the pizza and stare up into the ceiling. The white paint looking like the skin on an orange peel somehow seems to invite your mind. The room swirls and blurs out of existence for a brief moment until you blink. Then you snap back from your lapse in consciousness.
"You know," you begin in a distant tone, "Back where I come from, there were some kids who'd live with their parents until they were 30 for all sorts of reasons. Some even longer. Now that I think about it, there is something about you that makes me suspect you'll be one of them."
"I'm already over a thousand years old," Moonie adds drily.
"Yes, and I bet if I could live for a thousand years, then you'd stay right here in this house with me."
"I've already been through one thousand year imprisonment, I don't think I shall voluntarily go for another," hisses Moonie in her typical 'I don't want to admit I feel feelings' manner.
You roll around to look upwards from your horizontal position to gaze at Moonie who is standing on the foot rest of the recliner to glare at your.
"You like me," you say in a bubbly voice.
"Ew, no."
Moonie softly blushes as she steps back slightly to put on a display of disgust. You reach out with a single finger and Moonie eyes it carefully.
"What are you doing?"
As your finger approaches her face, she reels back. But only her head. Her body stays locked in position, unsure if fleeing or standing ground is the right thing to do.
"No," Moonie uneasily states.
Then your finger pokes her squishy little cheek and she glares fiercely at you.
"Aren't you a little sweetie."
With your finger still pressed into her cheek, she looks with you with a deadpan stare and says, "I have a strong dislike towards you, especially now."
Moonie leaps down from the chair and begins to head to her room when she notices you sit up and pull out some paperwork.
"More work?" She remarks in an irritated tone, "What do you do in that office?"
"More work."
"How can you have more work?"
"If you recall, someone said there would be a big festival for Hearts and Hooves day."
"Oh, yeah, I forgot about that plan. That was ages ago," comments Moonie as her face brightens up.
You give a brief chuckle then look over for a certain form.
"Well, let me help," she continues.
"What?"
"Let me help. This was my idea and you said I need a job. I could be like a... Temporary assistant. Yeah?"
You eye her carefully. This WAS her idea and that means she has plans. And she beaming far too much for this to be just helpfulness. But you stop yourself just before you recall how this started as you've got far too much to do to be second-guessing help. Admittedly, you need an extra set of hands... hooves... You need help.
"Fine," you cave in the midst of silent cheers from Moonie as you write down a list, "I need you, tomorrow, to go see these ponies. The list on the left are those who we need to ask if they'd like to do a stall or event or anything at all. You'll come in with me to work first thing where I will give you forms for them if they do. The centre list are those who have already agreed, they need the form too. And finally, the list on the right is people we will need a few things from. We'll sort them out if we have time."
"This feels like you're giving me all the work to do."
"The final list we probably won't get to for a few days from now. But that's only half."
"Half?" She stammers in disbelief as you hold up a second list.
"This will be who I'll be visiting."
Moonie takes the list back to her room, grumbling.
The preparation goes rather well. While Moonie did have a bit of trouble at first, she does get into the swing of things. The only trouble she caused was mix-ups with paper work and forgetting her list twice. Amazingly, she doesn't cause any trouble with the citizens.
And had you not been so immersed in your own work, that might have worried you.
It's the day of the Heart's and Hooves festival. Most ponies are all coupled up as they wander up and down the street together. Even some of the stalls and games are run by couples, a few of which can't keep their eyes off one another. Love is definitely in the air. It goes to show that Moonie has left a mark on you as internally you stick out your tongue and dry retch at all the lovey-dovey stuff. But at the same time it brings a smile to your face seeing so many enjoy themselves and the company of others so much.
Banners announcing the festival, posters listing events, heart shaped balloons, streamers, and all sorts of decorations litter the town in celebration.
"Howdy Anon," Applejack calls out from behind a stall titled 'Couples Apple Crunching'.
"Hey AJ, how's things?"
"Going well. This is some fine work you did on this here festival. Noticed quite a few happy mares found some special someponies for the day and are having a great time. What about yourself?"
"Yeah... What is Couples Apple Crunching?"
"Oh, well. It starts off a bit like Apple Bobbing, one fishes out an apple from the tub of water here then has to hold it in their mouth while the other half of the couple tries to each as much of the apple as possible in thirty seconds or until the apple falls from their mouths."
"I bet that's been popular. How do you judge if they win a prize," you ask as you notice all the stuffed Apple-based mascots behind her.
You happen to notice one stuffed apple with a bow and arrow, wings, and that odd little diaper thing cupid is always in. But you'd rather not ask too many questions on the subject.
"I just play it by ear. Most are just giggly and wrapped up in one another that they're happy to get anything. A few of the more charming just let go of the apple and plant a kiss on the mare's open mouth," she cackles loudly, clearly recalling a few particularly awkward moments for a few couples.
"Well, I best be off. Need to check in on a few things."
"Are you serious? Take the glasses off Anon, have some fun."
"I notice you're still working."
"Yeah," shrugs AJ, "But I'm having fun with it."
"So am I," you reply with a smile as you head down the road.
As you wander down the street, you check in on a few stalls and talk to a couple of couples who call out to you. Everyone is having a good time. Then as you walk past a chocolate stand, Pinkie calls out to you.
"ANON! You're working?"
Her loud gasp nearly becomes a screech from the shock. You look around to see if anyone else is watching and then shrug. Not having a special somepony on a day like today shouldn't really come as a shock to anyone as far as you're concerned. Ponies aren't really queuing up to date the human.
"Uh, yeah... Aren't I always?"
"But you should be with your special somepony on a day like today."
"What about your special somepony then," you reply, noting she is all alone.
"Hm? Oh, I set up a speed dating event later on. Remember?"
"Oh, yeah," you answer despite not really recalling, figuring she set it up with Moonie.
"Well, you should still get something," Pinkie sweetly says as she shoves some sweets and chocolates in a heart shaped box into your arms.
"Oh, Pinkie I really couldn't--"
"Not another word," she states firmly in what seems like an impression of Rarity as she shoves you further down the road.
You take a few steps when a mysterious stallion says something about a sample before spraying you in the face with some cologne. The various smells of musk, fruit, and oak overload your sense as you cough and splutter further down the road. There a bouquet of roses are shoved into your free hand by one unknown pony while a smaller pony grips onto your pant leg to lead you along.
"What's going on?" You ask as the haze from the cologne begins to clear.
"Sit here," says Moonie as you're shoved onto a chair.'
"Moonie?" You ask as you tilt the flowers out of your face just in time to note you're sitting in an outdoor restaurant.
Opposite you is a brown mare who is blindfolded. Using her magic, the blindfold is removed to reveal a confused Minister Mare.
"Anon?" She asks noticing the romantic restaurant's atmosphere, kissing couples, bouquet of roses, and heart shaped box of chocolates in your hand.
And then, she blushes.
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>That title.
UM ARE YOU OKAY?!
Oh now I really wanna see the two of them as a couple, that'd be really cute and he deserves it. I can't believe Moonie would actually be that sweet to anon.
Thought Moonie hated all this Hearts n' Hooves lovey-dovey stuff
8754870
this could only be one of moonies nefarious plans, becuase the author does everything but outright say it.
8755191
Nefarious, yea probably. But maybe it'll all work out in the end.
8755202
based on what i've seen in other stories it probably will not as speed dating tends not to work.
sorry i have to be pessimistic
unfortunately, thanks to flutterpreist, i can only imagine anon with nurse redheart. oh well, this is interesting and cute.
Uhhh, yeah, what 8754869, you alright fam?
Cute sneaky chapter aside, it was gud stuff.
8754869
8755681
I'm an Australian who can polish off a litre of scotch on my lonesome without issue. I'll need more alcohol than that to do damage.
Besides, the title was written a year ago but I forgot about this story until 8732465 reminded me about it. I found it amusing and left it in. I didn't intended to cause any alarm.
8754869
Is anybody ever REALLY okay?
8755802
>Australian
That explains everything! :D
8755858
Good point, other Dusty.
Oohhh! Nice one!
I see what you did there.
Dang it, I was really hoping Moonie would set him up with Trixie.
I FINALLY CAUGHT UP! AFTER A LONG AND TREACHEROUS YEAR I HAVE CAUGHT UP WITH THIS STORY!
Great chapter!
8770957
Nope.
A bit of Googling cleared it up, but you might want to insert some sort of clarification in the text.
Best title ever. XD
8788810
They're harmless little cuties. I have one the size of a soft drink can in my kitchen.
Really cool story man, I love your pacing and interactions. Best wishes to you.
Cute