Moonie shorts [Filly Nightmare Moon]

by Eighth

87 Help Me Commit Evil

"ANON," thunders a shocked Moonie as she barrels down the hallway to bursts into your room, swinging the door so hard it smacks the wall and slams itself shut under the force.

"Yes?"

"Where are you?"

"Here," you call as you slid out from under the bed with a few dirty clothes in hand.

"What are you doing?"

"Cleaning, what else does it look like?"

Moonie looks perplexed and shakes her head in that typical judgemental way that all children seem to do when they forget that there are responsibilities in life.

"It's your day off."

"And I only get one a week, so I want to get a few things done around the house."

"But... It's your day off," she repeats heavy-handedly as if her obvious message didn't get through.

You sigh a little and rub your eyes as you feel the beginning of a headache.

"Yes, yes. Is there are reason you came in here?"

"Well, yes, but this is more important--"

"If I get a few things done today then it gives me more time to take a load off after work," you interject, raising your voice to a stern drone, "Now what did you need?"

Moonie scampers on the spot a little as the internal debate rages over if she should let it go or not. Thankfully, her own desires win out.

"Alright, I need you to help me cause a little mayhem."

You open your mouth to speak, not exactly sure what to say but it would definitely be a lecture of some kind, before Moonie adds hastily.

"I'm behind quota."

"Okay... I'll ask. What quota?"

"Well, I have--One sec."

Then the filly sprints out of the room, violently throwing the door open again. Exasperated, you check that the door stopper is still holding strong. While you never had them before because slamming doors was oddly something Moonie didn't do, you saw a couple in the clearance bin the other week. So you bought a few and now it seems that because you have them Moonie will swing every door open with a strength only usually attributed to a demon. It's like she wants to break them. Well, she already broke the one on her door.

When you hear the little pitter-patter of tiny feet, you hold the door open. Moonie enters while looking up at you with scorn for spoiling her fun.

"I've got a log book of all the malarkey, jokes, pranks, traps, mischief, mayhem, chaos, evil, and torture I've done in the past few years."

She places the big leather-bound book on the floor and looks at you as while you raise a brow.

"Torture?"

"I'll admit, I've not done anything like that since the tickle torture of pipsqueak on playground. But I need to keep that column going just in case."

"Right," you mumble.

Moonie grabs a little ribbon bookmark and pulls it open to skip every other page.

"Look, I've done barely anything this week."

You scan the pages over and sure enough, all the little jokes Moonie has played are written down alongside names of who got it. Internally, you set a reminder to track this book down when she is out of the house. It could make for a very informative read.

"Replaced insides of Anon's choc-mint cookies with toothpaste?"

Moonie freezes, "Uh, I thought you already had one this morning."

"Nope."

"I'll get you some new ones?"

"You will. Now what's this about a quota?"

"Well, I have a reputation to keep up. If everypony treats me like you do, none will believe me when it is time for me to return to power and overthrow the sister princesses."

She gives an 'evil' cackle. It's like a mildly mischievous cackle however. The old evil and sinister schadenfreude isn't there anymore. Sure she might claim she's "only playing along with this parent/child thing to throw the sisters off her tail," that she is the "queen of the night, all evil, and nightmares," and still bellows about ruling Equestria once again but it all lacks conviction. All of Moonie's 'evil' comes across instead as a childish persona and a way to guard herself against anything sweet or nice.

You recall a story about a kid who refused to take his batman costume off because he wanted to be the hero so much. It even went so far as the child started punching other kids at daycare to "fight justice." Then you laugh at the recollection because sometimes Moonie pulls out her little armour set and does pretty much the same thing. It's a fight for a couple days to get her out of it, she always stinks from sweating in that armour.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing, nothing," you think for a moment and then decide that the odds and ends around the house can wait, "Alright, do you have any ideas for a bit of mischief?"

Moonie beams at you, nods, then scurries off to get another book.

"Reputation?" you scoff to yourself.

The reputation Moonie thinks she has and the way the Ponyville ponies think of here are nothing alike. With jokes, pranks, and a little bullying, Moonie is often regarded as pretty much harmless. Even Pipsqueak's parents, whose son is often on the receiving end of Moonie's antics, think she is "Just a playful little dear."
Bon-Bon and Moonie have an ongoing gag where Bon-Bon pays a tribute to Moonie to spare her candy shop. But it's always a single small piece of candy and usually something newly imported, freshly made, or not yet stocked so she can get opinions on it.
Back when Minister Mare was Mayor Mare, she would con Moonie into helping out under the guise of "teaching her to rule Equestria efficiently."

Once Moonie returns with a book so thick it could only be described as a tome, you start to second guess encouraging this sort of behaviour. But at the same time, it's relatively harmless. However, it's going to be a long day.

Comments

[Rosegfx]

When did she get the time to create that last book and still keep up her weekly quota of evil?

[Greenhorn]

"I've got a log book of all the malarkey, jokes, pranks, traps, mischief, mayhem, chaos, evil, and torture I've done in the past few years."

Nightmare Moon keeping records? Are we sure she isn't a filly Twilight or somepony in the family?

[A Wild Magikarp]

Always a pleasure to see Woon up to her antics. I wonder how all this will change her as an adult once more?

[Dustchu]

Hahahahaha Oooh she's so precious, I love it.

Good show!

[ClosetBrony]

Another delectable update to a favorite story. Plenty of d'awww to fawn over. Thanks 8th!

[Necron Lord]

I'm still waiting for the adorable moment when Moonie accidentally calls Anon Dad