• Published 21st May 2014
  • 1,595 Views, 22 Comments

Nightmare Moon's third coup - Evilhumour

Nightmare Moon returns and seeks to fight Celetia for the throne of Equestria! In here is the most epic battle ever!

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The battle of the ages!

It was a rather dull day in the royal court room for Princess Celestia, and she just barely paying any attention to what they asking her for. It was a packed court, an oversight that had most of the nobles all in the same room at the same time.

She barely held back a sigh, eyes darting to a clock.

Almost time…

Greetings dear sister!” A loud regal voice boomed, cutting off the chatter of the ponies in front of her. “We have come for thy throne!” A deep laugh was heard from all sides of the courtroom as black smoke streamed into the room from every corner and pulled up into a single spot above the crowd.


Nightmare Moon was flapping her wings above them all, her eyes glaring at Princess Celestia with a wicked grin.

“Never!” She cried out dramatically, moving to stand up to fight the monster and flapping her wings to warm them up. “I will never give up Equestria to the likes of you!” She shouted back at the other alicorn who flew down in front of her. Nearly all the nobles were petrified with fear and shock at this scene, causing the mare with wings and a horn to smile.

Very well dear sister!” The dark coat mare sneered at the white alicorn in front of her, pulling in her magical might. “A battle to thy death for thy kingdom!” She raised a clawed hoof, ready to strike down her sister.

“No, no, nooooooooooooo!” Celestia said as she backed up into her throne, catching the flicker of annoyance on the other mare.

Over doing it...

It is far too late to plead, dear sister!” Nightmare Moon grinned, her fangs glistening in the light. “Today, the Night shall triumph!” She gave off her best laugh of victory as she brought her hoof down onto the other mare.

She could hear the gasps, and then surprised huhs? as she booped her sister’s nose.

“Ack, no, I have been defeaaaaaaated.” Celestia gave another overdramatic gesture as she slumped into her seat of power.

Two can play this game, dear sister…

It was thy love of cakes and sweets that undid you, dear voluptuous and wide flanked sister of mine.” She grinned as Celestia shot her head up and gave her a nasty glare, breaking character of a defeated princess. Nightmare Moon responded by sticking her tongue quick enough for only Celestia to catch.

Using her long legs, she swept the other alicorn off her hoofs. Nightmare Moon wasn’t expecting that and the high pitched meep was really cute coming from her mouth.

“I shall return, when my I rebuild my strengths in a months time!” She proclaimed, standing tall over her sister, who was giving her the best stink eye possible. “Farewell for now, dear sister!” She shouted, flapping into the air.

And We shall be here, awaiting for thy return, dear sister!” She grinned at her sister, wings opened wide.

“Will you allow my nobles to keep their places?” She gave a weak, pitiful look to the alicorn sitting her throne.

We shall-

“And keep the sun and moon to their normal schedule?”

Yes sis-

“And promise to hear out all their complains?”

Yes sis-” The stark black alicorn gave an annoyed snort, rolling her eyes. This caused a few of the quicker noble to laugh, Fancy Pants picking up the thread early on and was greatly enjoying the show.

“And promise that if you bring home a stallion that you will make him use protec-”

TIA!” Nightmare Moon squeaked, vanishing in a puff of smoke, showing a blushing blue alicorn.

Princess Celestia dove back down and nuzzled her little sister, pulling her into a hug. “I’ll see you soon Lulu.”

“Yes, yes Tia.” The other Princess gave an annoyed huffed, but returned the affections back, smiling broadly. “Enjoy your vacation. You do deserve this, after all.”

“I shall.” She gave a light chuckle and flew off. Princess Luna watched her sister fly off until she but a speck. Turning her head back to the mostly stunned crowd of nobles and other ponies, she cleared her throat. “My little ponies, as you were. We art the government of Equestria and it will surely grind to a halt if we delay for much longer!”

It seemed that it was it took to get the nobles and other ponies back into the flow of working, still trying to understand what was going on.

Luna smiled to herself.

Tia thought she got the last laugh, did she? She gave a light snort. She really should have checked the camp out more carefully.


For the first time in a very long time, Celestia was angry. How could she have been fooled for so long! Luna was still evil, that was the only logical reason for why she was sent here! It would break her heart to banish her sister back to the moon, but she wasn’t her sister really.

I mean, who sends their own flesh and blood to a workout camp?!

A hard smack on her flanks caused her to jump, as she looked at the stallion behind her, with a whistle on his flanks. “Come on Princess, move those hooves! If you want to eat tonight, you’ll need to get over those hills pronto!” He pointed to the infernal hills, a trek that no sane pony could travel. It was obvious as she was still sane and all those other ponies, who were a tad plump in their flanks and bellies she had to admit, were running over them with glee and determination had to be insane.

Oh, how can things get any worse?

The stallion lifted his whistle and answered her question with a very shrill blast of sound.

Whimpering, Celestia forced herself forwards with the weights on her back, hearing her sister’s laugh of victory, floating off to the side with a bag of popcorn-

Wait, she was there and she was sticking her tongue out at her.

“Ok, since you are not getting it, I’m sorry to say that dinner is cancelled for your Princess!” She snapped her head back to her trainer, and then to where Luna was. She had vanished in a puff of smoke, but still giggling softly.


Comments ( 22 )


4425945 I'm glad you liked it. So what do you think Nightmare Moon's cruel sentencing of dear Celestia?

4425957 I dislike Celestia morally so, in honesty, that was gratifying. Bravo sir, bravo.

4425960 Thank you, thank you for your kind words.

Ah, fat camp. So many memories. They even set up a tofu eating contest. There were no survivors.

4426345 To quote Rarity


4426345 Wanna share any? I might just write a story out of it!


Saturday Night Square Dancing. Imagine some very... very large children and teenagers shuffling around to country music after a long day that left us all feeling dizzy.

It was like a combination of dominoes and superballs.

4428456 I will send you a link to google doc. Let's do THIS!

that was cute, really cute.

4436347 Thank you. It was fun to write.

Short and funny. My favorite kind. :rainbowlaugh: I liked Celestia's pretend defeat.

4553897 Thanks! I enjoyed writing it too. Just wait until you read the sequel, it is glorious!

It seems all immortals are trolls, Discord, Celestia, Luna, who else? the Fausticorn?

4655478 Of course. It helps them pass the time. You do need a sense of humour to pass the time.


I suppose, Discord simply has the power to do more than harmless trolling, that, and with a disposition that is as fun as it is sinister, he makes for one hell of a villain, even some of the darker versions of Discord like the one from the Pony POV series are a lot of fun yet chilling at the same time.

A bit lacking considering she as stuck on the moon for a thousand years, but it's a start. :twilightsmile:

Very cute. Though I question how good the camp is that they don't realize starvation will at first add weight before reducing. :raritywink:

5313551 Thanks. Not really much thought into it, just for fun.

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