• Member Since 3rd Apr, 2013
  • offline last seen Dec 19th, 2017

pokeking95


"Finding it, though... That's not the hard part. It's letting go."

T

The moments spent with a brother or sister are amongst the most precious and most cherished of them all. It is little wonder, then, why the bond between siblings is a powerful one, and that of Lyra and Lightning is no exception.

These are but a few snapshots of their sisterhood over the years.

Chapters (13)
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Comments ( 24 )

Beautiful. This is a wonderful piece of literature.

4215927

Thank you for taking the time to write that out. :pinkiehappy: Ahem, in order (more or less):

The purely-dialogue style is something I've seen in only two other stories, both of which are by the same author, so it's a very rare style that I wanted to experiment with. I hoped that that, along with the premise, would help it stand out. I'll admit, while it is easy to write a lot with it, it's not the easiest way to convey emotions, at least for me (among other things, I was getting tired of adding stutters to convey sadness; it started to look awkward to me).

And yes, I'm surprised that more haven't commented on Lyra's and Lightning's similar appearances, too. Heck, there are a bunch of canon siblings that don't look like one another in the least. :trixieshiftleft:

Yeah, ultimately the story was building up to that post-Wonderbolts Academy scene in the hospital. As I've said in my Author's Notes, that was what I originally planned for before expanding upon the sisterhood concept.

I appreciate your comment regarding the characterization. Truthfully, I'm not really not sure how well that worked out. For starters, Lightning Dust appeared in only one episode and I couldn't remember her canon personality very well, besides being reckless and having a desire to impress. In fact, I was worrying that my Lightning Dust wouldn't tie in to the one seen in Wonderbolts Academy. I ultimately justified it by telling myself that a lot could happen in five years. :unsuresweetie: As for Lyra... well, she's a background pony and really doesn't have any canon personality. I'm not even sure if my Lyra fits with the typical fanon representation of her. I mean, there are no humans (obviously) and I don't think I really portrayed her as hyperactive or quirky here.

With regards the "Faust" thing, you actually aren't the first person to point that out. I don't know; I personally like using "Faust" as another way to say "God" within the MLP universe, because like many others I do enjoy the fan theory that involves her being the Creator of everything or something along the lines. I suppose I'll consider not mentioning it again for future stories if people continue to feel bothered by it.

Anyways, thanks again for reviewing and for also sharing my little story. :twilightsmile:

When I first saw how short the chapters were, I wasn't too thrilled about reading this. I was ready to say: "You should have just compiled this into a one-shot!". But after reading the first two chapters, I realized I was too quick to judge, and so very wrong.

I love it when authors pick some kind of unusual format for their story to tell the story better. And yours definitely does that! The short chapters work a lot better than they would if it would be all compiled into one. That way, it feels like time is actually passing by. Using only dialogue to tell a story normally wouldn't sound too good, but over here it fits perfectly. The reader knows exactly what's going on, even without description. You managed to show Lightning Dust's and Lyra's personality only using dialogue. I knew exactly who was talking and how they were feeling.

I look through a lot of fanfiction, but I've never seen anything quite like this. From the format, to the concept of Lyra and Lightning being sisters... This story just oozes originality. It's great to see the sisters' relationship to one another, and to see what prompted Lightning to be the way she was in Wonderbolt Academy; her jealousy slowly growing, her lack of appreciation and love from her parents. Ah, jealousy, isn't it a powerful and dangerous feeling?

The ending here really hit me. The "..." when Lightning was supposed to speak seems like a small touch, but really, it works so beautifully. Though I didn't shed a tear, a bit of liquid pride creeped up there.

My only minor problem is the 'Faust' thing. It seems out of place, I don't know... But I saw the comment where you explain it a bit. Just wanted to point that out.


Honestly, this was awesome. I bow down to you sir/lady for such a wonderful piece of art. I have a lot to learn from you...
You, my dear friend, have earned yourself a favorite, follow, like and a virtual hug! :heart:

Lyra is best background pony!
Well, maybe next to Octavia, but this is a sweet Lyra story in many ways.

4217231

Thanks for that! You flatter me. :twilightblush:

I was concerned that the dialogue-only style and the short chapters would deter potential readers from giving this story a chance, but you did end up enjoying it, and so I'm grateful for that. Also, thank you for your remark regarding the originality (I do so love the unorthodox) and the fact you were actually moved by it. I honestly thought I was trying a bit too hard to get that sadness feel right, but it seems that it's been working so far. Hmm.

(And yet another complaint about the "Faust" thing. I guess I'll be avoiding that in future stories.)

But really, thank you. :pinkiehappy:

4382564

Thank you. I dedicate this final chapter to you, The_Weatherbug. I hope it makes you a little bit happier. :twilightsmile:


Thanks for being such a good sport,
Accepted into the Sibling Story Stockpile

By the way, because of this, I am going to make a new folder.

4217231
I do agree with the beginning statement, I believe that everyone should try at some point to write something unusual, especially if they can write a story around it. I never truly understood how hard writing a story with no dialogue could be until I actually did it, and with that being said, I think that its lack of dialogue makes it better.

I didn't expect this! I liked the original ending, thought it was good and there was no need to write more... But still, this is a nice little addition. :twilightsmile:

This story is SO good, yet so minimalistic. :ajsmug:

Wonderful story, written in a brilliant minimalistic style!

Glad you expanded it to include a happy ending, sad endings just feel so cold to me.

That said, I like the format of preluding a happy ending with a sad chapter that could be an ending if left untouched- it kind of gives the best of both worlds in my opinion.

Hey, really excellent story, both writing and portrayal.
I'm in the middle of a Lightning Dust fic at the moment, about her after she gets kicked out of the Wonderbolt Academy. I was wondering if you'd be alright with me including Lyra being her sister in my story as well (not with anywhere near all the same details as your portrayed relationship between them and their family). I'd credit you as the source of the idea in the author's notes, of course, and I'd mainly just be using the fact that they're sisters, they were close, and to an extent Lightning's perception of their parents not approving of her (in my story that's not actually the case, she just thinks it is though in reality they just don't know how help/appreciate her because of her being a pegasus).

4742685

I'm honored! Please, go right ahead, and you are of course welcome to interpret the idea in any way you wish.

Awwww, a promise by a sibling.

Awww, this is so sweet! Definitely earning another fav and like.

7024332

Kind of you to say that! Lots of good stories have come out in the past two years, so I'm surprised that you still regard my story so highly.

I personally feel that this story was sort of a wasted opportunity to present my headcanon of Lyra and Lightning as sisters. The dialogue-only style was interesting to work with, but I feel that I should've done a traditional narrative, instead, to appeal to a wider audience. I've also since refined and expanded upon my headcanon. Therefore, I've been thinking of not only writing a few more stories with Lyra and Lightning as sisters, but also rewriting this story with a more traditional narrative. Perhaps you'd be interested (if I ever get off my lazy bum, that is)?

7024711

Ah, yes, that's what I meant: I'll be doing the writing; you just enjoy reading it. Sorry for the confusion! Although, if you ever change your mind, you are of course free to try your hand at it. (I know of one other author who decided to incorporate this headcanon into one of his stories.) In any case, I do want to write more stories with Lyra and Lightning, but that may still be a while, unfortunately. Hopefully, you don't mind waiting.

Wow.....very awesome job mate!

1. Lightning Dust. If they wanted a musician name her after a instrument.
2. I forgot what number 2 is.

What are these water droplets under my eyes? Tears?! WHY DO I HAVE TEARS?! I do not feel anything. I have no emotions!

Dang it! I can't like it a second time.

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