A Small Prank
“This looks weird. Are ya sure ya gave me the right flower, Scootaloo?”
Apple Bloom scrutinized the potion she’d just made. It was supposed to be blue; instead it had all the colors of a rainbow.
Scootaloo nodded. “Yeah, just like the book said.”
Sweetie Belle tilted her head. “Maybe you put too much of something in it?”
“Nope, I did it just like the book said!”
“What’s this exactly supposed to be, Apple Bloom?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“It’s a physical enhancement potion.”
“Uhm… what?” Scootaloo asked with a cocked eyebrow.
“It’ll make your stronger,” Sweetie answered.
“Ah, wow! That sounds really cool. Can I drink it?”
Outside the library, Discord chortled as he peeked inside the library.
“Uhm, Discord, are you sure they’re gonna be alright?”
Discord waved a paw. “Of course, dear Fluttershy, I’d never hurt my friends, or my friends’ friends.” He batted his eyelashes. “Or, you don’t trust me?”
Fluttershy frowned. “And when will you remove the color blindness from Scootaloo?”
“Ah, don’t be so stiff, I’ll remove it as soon as one of them drinks the potion. If this feels you better...” He put his fingers together. “The moment I snap my fingers, Scootaloo’ll be back to normal.”
“Pinkie Promise?”
“Heart, cupcakes, eye, whatever.” A cupcake appeared from nowhere and splashed on his left eye. “Happy now?”
Fluttershy sighed and continued gazing through the window. “I just hope that nothing bad will happen.”
“Nah, Ah made it, Ah drink it. Ah won’t experiment on mah friends.” Apple Bloom took the potion from the table and sighed. “Ah really hope this works.” She raised the vial to her mouth, and drank the liquid.
They heard a snap.
“What was that?” Sweetie asked.
Twilight walked into the library. “Hi girls, how it’s going? Sorry I had to leave you for a moment.”
“Everything is fine Twilight. Apple Bloom just made a strength enham… enhal…”
“Enhancement?” Twilight asked with gleaming eyes.
“Yeah, that’s it!”
“That sounds great!” She looked around. “Where’s it?”
“She already drank it.”
“What?! Apple Bloom, you shouldn’t drink a potion you just made!”
“But why, Twilight? Ah did everything as the book said.”
Twilight ran to Apple Bloom and lit her horn. “You’re just a novice, you can make fatal mistakes.” She checked her body for injuries, but found nothing. She sighed in relief. “You’re lucky I found nothing bad.” She stepped back. “You should always show me what you made before you let anypony drink it. Clear?”
“Clear. Sorry, Twilight.”
“It’s okay. Just be careful.” She smiled at her. “So, any changes yet?”
“It’s supposed to be immediate. But Ah don’t feel any awesome powers yet.” She yawned. “Anyways, no offence Twilight, but this library’s boring.” She unfolded her wings. “See ya later, egghead!” she said and flew out of the window.
The quietness in the library was almost touchable.
Sweetie Belle gawked at the window. “What just happened?”
“Rainboooow Daaaash, waaaaaaaaaaait!” Scootaloo ran out of the library.
Twilight groaned. “Spike! Coffee, now!”
“This cloud is soooo fluffy, Ah could sleep here forever.” Apple Bloom stretched out her blue hooves. “Ah don’t even understand how could somepony sleep on the ground.”
“What. The. Heck?”
Apple Bloom looked up and saw Rainbow Dash staring at her.
“Oh, hi Rainbow Dash! Ah hope Ah didn’t take your napping cloud.”
“Apple Bloom?”
“Yup, the one and only, why?”
Rainbow Dash spread her hooves. “YOU LOOK LIKE ME!”
“And?” She scratched her rainbow mane under her blue ribbon. “What’s yer problem with it? Are ya worried that somepony might be faster than ya?” She winked.
“What?”
“To Fluttershy’s house. Ah bet ya can’t beat me.” Apple Bloom hopped on her hooves. “See ya later, slowpoke!” She shot towards the Everfree Forest.
“Hey! Nopony calls me slowpoke!” She flew after her.
However, she realized that keeping up with her was not an easy task. What the heck? Apple Bloom doesn’t just look like me, she’s as fast as me! I’ll ask Twilight later, but I can’t lose this! she thought and pumped her wings harder.
Apple Bloom noticed this and did alike. “Ya can’t beat me! Ah’m the fastest pony in Equestria!”
“THAT’S ME!” Dash clenched her eyebrows and beat her wings as fast as she could. She saw a familiar air-cone appearing.
“Hey, Rarity! What’s up?” Pinkie Pie asked.
“Hello, my dear. Have you seen Rainbow Dash? she promised to help me trying out my new pegasus designs.”
“Hm…” Pinkie put out a tongue. “Which one? This universe has now two of them.” She glanced to the sky. “No nevermind. You can find them both up there!”
Rarity blinked, then looked up.
She was almost blinded by the two consequential Sonic Rainbooms.
“Wheee! A Double Rainboom! Am I supposed to make a reference joke here?”
Rarity ignored her and searched the sky with her eyes. She saw the two rainbow trails headed towards Fluttershy’s house. “I don’t know what the heavens dropped on our heads this time, but we might find out at Fluttershy’s cottage.” She began trotting towards the mentioned location. “Are you coming, Pinkie Pie?”
“Yup. Just checking what we’ll find there,” Pinkie said, walking towards Rarity.
Then she stopped and burst into laughing.
Rarity titled her eyebrows. “What’s so funny?”
“Silly writer, Applejack’s not like that!”
“Ah won!” Apple Bloom landed in front of the cottage, gasping.
“How… How?!” Rainbow Dash landed next to her, panting.
“Ah, mah silly friend. Ya can’t beat an—Apples.”
“Okay, where’s Twilight?” She turned to the town. “I need explanation, now!”
“Apples!”
Rainbow Dash froze. She slowly swiveled her head back... and almost fainted.
Orange coat, wheat mane, green eyes.
“Aaaaaaaa!” Dash shrieked and flew away.
“Apples?”
“I hate such a long trots, it might make me perspire,” Rarity whined as they arrived at the cottage. Then she groaned. “And it was worthless. Rainbow Dash is gone! Did you see her anywhere, Apple...”
“Apples?”
“Oh my dear, Apple Bloom, what happened to you?”
“Apples! Apples apples. Apples, apples apples apples.”
Rarity gapped at her. “What?”
“She says Rainbow Dash went to see Twilight,” Pinkie said.
Rarity glanced at Apple Bloom, then at Pinkie Pie. “Yes, that does seem like the best option.” She put a hoof on her head. “And some painkillers.”
“But dahrling, why would ya take painkillers? It hurts yer beauty!”
Rarity looked back, then her eyes rolled up in their sockets, and she fainted on the ground.
“Oh, what did Ah do? Do Ah look bad?” She looked up at her purple mane. “Is it mah mane? Mah mane, it looks simply terrible!” She caressed her mane. “And Ah think Ah haven’t been at the spa for months!” She looked at Pinkie. “Care to join me, Pinkie Pie?”
“Wow, this is so cool!” Pinkie squealed. She began hopping in front of Apple Bloom. “Now me! Be me!”
*Snap*
Apple Bloom faded into pink in front of Pinkie Pie’s eyes. Pinkie giggled at her reflection.
“Do ya know what this calls for?”
“A PARTY!” They both jumped and streamers springed out of them. “This’s gonna be the bestest party EVER!”
“Now Ah can finally make cupcakes! Do ya remember Call of the Cutie?”
Pinkie chuckled. “It was such a bummer you couldn’t try cupcake eating cutie mark in that episode.”
“Time to try now!” She looked at her hindquarters. “Funny how Ah’m still a blank flank, even when the writer made me into ya.”
“Oh, don’t worry! We can still have so much fun together, right?” Pinkie grinned at her.
“Right! To the Sugarcube Corner!”
“Ponyville, here we come!”
They left the cottage, singing together, “Our name is Pinkie Pie…”
After a minute, Fluttershy jumped out of the bush. “Discord, you must stop them! Ponyville can’t handle two Pinkie Pies!”
“Oh, Fluttershy, you always worry about everything. Instead, you should get into the spirit of the things!” He showed a photo to her, showing Rarity’s faint. “That face! Priceless!”
“But Discord!”
Discord sighed. “Fluttershy, Ponyville once survived thirty Pinkie clones.”
“But they weren’t like Pinkie Bloom. Didn’t you hear her? She was talking like Pinkie!”
“Look, I’ve already sped up the process once for Pinkie Pie. Doing it one more time might disturb the balance of the potion and cause unexpected side effects.” His eyes went wide. “Oh well, that sounds like some good chaos! And I can even blame you for it!” He snapped his fingers.
Fluttershy gulped and looked ahead. “I wonder how I’ll look like…”
“Stampede!”
All kinds of animals were running on the streets of Ponyville trying to get away from the yellow-purple menace chasing them.
Apple Bloom’s legs couldn’t take it anymore. She stopped, panting, then took a deep breath.
“YER A-GONNA LOVE ME!”
Behind the nearest bush, Fluttershy’s cheeks became so red they looked like two halves of a cherry. “Can’t we just skip to Twilight?”
Discord sighed. “Fluttershy, if I hurry it once more, it might result Apple Bloom staying as Twilight Sparkle for days. And it will not be her best demeanor.”
“Just do it please. I can’t watch this anymore.”
Discord rolled his eyes. “Fine.” He snapped his fingers.
Apple Bloom collapsed.
“Oh my! Apple Bloom!” Fluttershy jumped out of the bush and galloped to her. Apple Bloom turned into a lavender filly with messy purple mane and tail. She moaned.
“Ah, thank goodness, she’s okay.” Fluttershy glanced back at Discord, who had stopped a few steps away and was biting his nails. “Uhm… is everything okay, Discord?”
The alicorn filly raised her head and smiled. Then her smile crept into a huge, toothy grin, and her pupils shrank to pinpricks. Her horn began glowing.
“Clock is ticking, Apple Bloom. Clock. Is. TICKING!”
THE END?
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Spoilers!
Crazy Apple Twicorn is best pony.
i.imgur.com/hLKJbkB.jpg
Definitely a good fic, but it could do without the 4th wall breaking
Could someone explain the ending please?
4192925 ...
Phoenix, party of one..? Table now open for Phoenix, party of one...
~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~
As for the fan-fiction itself...
Not bad overall, though I think you could have gotten a LOT more literary mileage out of this story-premise than one chapter and 1600 words.
You probably could have done one chapter per two Elements of Harmony she was mimicking, giving more literary screen-time to the humour; especially as each Element-bearer reacts to being mimicked ("I don't really sound like that, do I...?" *uncomfortable shifty eyes* "Well...")
A dramatic twist could also have been that "Harmony Bloom" winds up being able to use the Elements of Harmony by her solo-self when Discord (earnestly) tries to undo the prank-spell, and forcing the true Element-bearers and the two CMCs to comedically battle "Harmony Bloom" for control of the Elements of Harmony.
As I said, good story-premise, and not bad for the fan-fiction as is, but a lot more could have been done with this.
4193557
I can give it my best shot.
Basically, Apple Bloom is changing into each of the Mane 6 as time progresses. If she changes naturally, it shows off their better traits. If discord changes AB (let's call it RUSH CHANGE), then AB not only stays as that pony for longer, she then exhibits one of their bad traits (like fluttershy going nuts with animals running from her
). In the end, Fluttershy calls for another RUSH CHANGE, which changes AB into Twilight. This change not only would last days, but pulled from twilight's...um... more psychotic trait (a la Lesson Zero).
So does that sound about right Phoenix?
sweet mother of jesus, the entire universe is FUCKED
4193734 Ah. Thanks for the explanation. I am not a very smart man.
4195023
4193734 Correct.
4193558
I know, I know it's short. I was writing a sad-tragedy fiction when Rainbow Dash dies and Scootaloo almost commit suicide, and it made me so depressed, I just had to write something fun, so I wrote this in a few hours, squeezing in all the jokes that come into my mind at that time. Consequence: It didn't become as long as the the potential in the idea dictated.
.
Wat.
Ah, the randomness...
Lol WHY U NO WANT TO SEE Flutterbloom Fluttershy?
...I demand a sequel.
*pukes everywhere*
so awesome
What kind of ending was that? More please
.-.
Dat ending though
Twilight Bloom became permanent and...
da fuq did I just read?
Okay. That was...interesting.
*AwkwardCough*
Yea.
Yup.
Uhuh.
Totally.
....
What the fu-
"And so Twilight Bloom defeated Discord, stole his magic, ascended into the Alicorn of Pot, aka the Alicorn of Mane6, and then there was a huge party in a gazebo with a rainbow while the sun was setting, and the moon was setting also, and God handed her a million dollars. The END."
~AnimatedGamer
That made too much sense. I should stop reading ponies at three in the morning.
WHAT
4201489
dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/40553515/pony/Reactions/applebloom_derelle_by_moongazeponies-d428t81.png
this is beautiful
The lulz are strong with this one.
HEY! That was my line!
Too bad, I tooks it.
You suck, Pinkie.
Ahahahaha
"Was that me?"
Yep!
100th Like!
Nice.
4204764 Jeez! That was harsh dude! If you haven't noticed this story isn't supposed to make sense! And its not their fault that they cant write as well as you want them too! It also wasn't supposed to be a well thought out story, that had a well described setting and plot and characters and storyline, so stop hating!
4205288 I considered it an actual story. By definition story is a fictional tale with a plot, meant to entertain the reader. This story is a fictional tale with a plot that entertains readers.
I got lost somewhere a few sentences after she drank the potion.
(only AB emoticon.)
4205333
Ignore that one. All Glitzy seems to do is go around and hate on stories and try to sound justified about it. Continue with the enjoying of the story, that's all a story really needs to be a story in the first place. An audience that enjoys it.
I thought it was fun and entertaining, I duno what you guys were reading.
4206987
Thank you for your critique.
I agree that the idea itself could have even become a 100k words epic adventure story. However, the reason why I wrote this story, is just to have some joy after working on my sad-tragedy fiction, therefore my goal was only to make a flashfic with just barely enough setting to tell a few jokes. It was a decision of mine, and while I accept the fact that you don't like it, I won't change my mind. (I also should add here: This is a short fanfiction, everyone knows the places where the events happen, therefore I consider describing them again a bad and boring thing for the reader. A long story is a whole different thing... )
I'm not going to spell out everything in the fiction. Discord made Scootaloo colorblind, which resulted Apple Bloom creating the wrong potion. The only thing Discord did after that is that he hurried the effect of the potion.
Why would she? According to Discord, it's just a small prank without any harm. When things become problematic, she immediately acts (two complete Pinkie Pies, Apple Bloom collapsing)
4206432 Well even if he's trolling then I like saying smart stuff like that, to defend people. It makes me feel like a superhero or something.
4206987 y'know I don't even care. Buttfaces like you aren't worth my time.
4207611 Her problem is that I took an idea that was worthy of a mid-sized fiction, and wrote a fan-flashfic out of it. I still think my decision was right, but she has the right to disagree with me.
4207900 Thank you
How can you be both Nightmare and Nyx?
4207745
There's a right to disagree, yes. But one doesn't have to sound like a pompous jackass while doing it. That's been practically an epidemic here in Fimfic. People being jerks while hiding behind "valid criticism". Pretty sure an entire group got the axe by Knighty personally for doing that, as well. Folks like that pull up this and that reason to justify themselves, but it never changes the fact they know they can choose their words to be at least neutral if they don't feel like being friendly.
I speak from experience. I'm an abrasive asshole, you see. True facts.
4207184 I had more written, but so many people complained that I deleted it. Yeah. I'm just super picky. I have been my whole life.
4207745 Sorry, but I feel the need to mention. I'm a girl. It's okay, though!
4208244 Sorry, fixed my comment.
4208248 No biggie!
P.S. I'm just going to delete my comments off of this story because they seem to be making everyone upset. I didn't mean to sound rude. I was just getting mad at them. It upsets me when people respond negatively to reviews. Sorry for everything!
4207745
meh whatevs. u do what u wanna do, I don't judge