• Member Since 11th Apr, 2013
  • offline last seen May 28th

DemonWriterX


I am an inspiring writer and the best way to practice my writing is by writing fanfics. My favorite shippings are Fluttercord and Darzotl,(daring do and ahuizotl)

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Source

A Hades and Persephone story.
Starring Discord as Hades and Fluttershy as Persephone.
With many other characters of the my little pony universe.

Chapters (8)
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Comments ( 146 )

Few people make things from Greek myths or related to Greece. Halleluiah! Sincerely a Greek brony!

4741927
Aww shucks, thanks for that ^_^ I just adore Greek mythology and anything else in history from mythology. I'm glad you liked it.

4741957 Hehe nice. Although i'd say Nile fits Rainbiw Dash more.

4742031

That's true, nike the goddess of victory and speed and strength. That's perfect for rainbow ^_^ but not for this story, maybe in another.

I've actually seen another Fluttercord story like this, only they just had the ponies performing a play, not putting them in the actual scenarios.

4742418
Yeah that is one of mine ^_^ I actually change my username actually, I am Fanofcartoons, i didit want to use that name anymore when I came to fimfiction. But I am so glad you commented and mentioned my other story of The taste of pomergrante. I wanted to make a longer story and this where this new story came from.

4742495 Oh wow! Well, I must say your writing has improved greatly, and I like how you put more detail into this than the last one (Applejack also makes a better Demeter than Rarity).

4742572
You know you have always wrote such nice things about my other stories and you were such a great critic. Your bride of discord inspired so many fans to go to the fluttercord side. I hope that this story would gain as much viewer ship like yours did. ^_^ that is my goal.

“Oh don’t try to hide it, I could feel that you are just bursting to say something!”

Me when I try to talk to shy people:twilightsmile:

Also this is great!! And the best part is.... Everything makes sense! Like twilight as athena and big mac as zues! Pitch perfect!:pinkiehappy:

I have an idea (don't know if you'll ever be able to use it).
Since Dionysus is the party god (and you've mentioned him being male in this one), you can make him Cheese Sandwich and Pinkie Pie can be Ariadne (his wife).

4742856

What an awesome idea! ^_^ I am totally going to do that! Thanks for the suggestion!

Wow. I was not waiting for this type of story.
This being said...
OMAGAD I LOVE IT!!!
so good :3 :rainbowkiss:

One sentence for you and it's..... RAINBOWS FOR YOU:rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss:

MOAR:derpytongue2: this is well written! :yay: and great how they are both immortal! :raritystarry: yay! :yay::yay::yay::yay:::yay::moustache::yay::yay::yay::yay::rainbowwild:

Let me guess...Rarity is Hebe, LOL. I wondered what she would be, since Cadence is pretty much Aphrodite with all the love she spreads (wait, does that mean Shining Armor's Hephaestus?).
I was confused with Delilah/Dinky Doo, because you said she was a "pink" unicorn instead of a grey one.
I only have general critique with the grammar: "then" refers to time and "than" is a comparison (e.g. smaller than, less than, more than).
"it's" is a contraction for "it is" and "its" is a possessive pronoun (e.g. every boat has its own sail)
These were the most frequent mistakes I spotted.
Anyways, I love how you improved your original version of this scene and put more depth to it. I seriously love this!

Can I just say this story is one of the most interesting stories (myths?) that I've ever seen, and I love how well each character fits. :yay:

I can't wait to see what happens next. :pinkiehappy:

4835331

Darn my confusion with simple grammer!!!!
I will fix those mistakes, and thanks for commenting ^\^
I'm glad you enjoyed it, ^_^

*all right, I changed Dinky's color (sorry for the confusion, I saw pics of her as pink or purple, but I changed it to grey)
Also I think I got the grammar problems.

:yay: love this book and what you have so far! Excited to find out what happens!

4835394
awww, that's so nice, thanks.^_^

4835399
Im so glad you like it ^_^

Comment posted by nioniosbbbb deleted Sep 22nd, 2014
Comment posted by DemonWriterX deleted Sep 22nd, 2014

4835613

. "The Lord of the Underworld." Harmonica shivered. "My sister said to always avoid him because he's evil! And I always listen to my big sister!"

Is it Harmonica or Harmonia ((the former is a musical instrument))

4835621
ugh! what is with my autocorrection?!
All right, I got it, thanks for finding these things, it really does help. ^_^

4835613 Also check all the namings. I don't mean to be nitpicky i love the story but..

. that she was now trapped in the realm of The Underworld, and by her captor no less.

Who else would she be captured by? Saying she has been captured by her captor is redundant.

Also i am on mobile thus the comments are many.

4835659
its cool, its good to be nitpicky, I want this story to be great! keep doing what you doing, its cool. :twilightsmile:
*Got it~

Comment posted by nioniosbbbb deleted Sep 22nd, 2014

4835718
Got it and fixed. I used Gentlepony

4835739 Hehe thanks for tolerating me.

. "In all respect, mighty Zeus..."

The phrase goes "With all due respect" i think. Look it up a bit i am paranoid.

4835739

. The helmet was forged by the god Hephaestus, made with the finest iron, as well as her mighty spear. Athena constantly wore her aegis, made from the finest pelts of wild animals, strong enough to protect her from harm. She slipped on the helmet, her appearance changing from a scholar to a warrior ready for battle.

Actually the myth of the birth of Athena talks about Zeus swallowing with trickery his first spouse the Titaness Metis whos name connoted magical cunning. The story goes that Metis was going to bear a kid that would prove her father's downfall unless he defeated her. In a contest of shapeshifting Metis was tricked into transforming to a fly which Zeus promtly proceeded tp swallow. However the pregnant and cunning Metis lived inside him and even forged Athena's full armor while inside. The banging of the hammer caused Zeus to have headaches so he Requested Hephaestus to smash his head. Thus came Athena out of it already full in armor. There's something about the medusa head or the snale like thing in her shield or behind it i am forgetting dunno. But i am quite certain Hephaestus didn't forge most.

Also funny thing... Notice how Metis or Proteus have so many things in common with Queen Chrysalis? See their name meanings you will be surprised. Also i am not bothered you used Cheese Sandwich imstead of Pinkie Pie for Dionysus since their concept is the same.

4835836
Oh yeah I know, I'm just kinda mixing up a little since Hephaestus is known for making weapons and armor and such. I thought I just mention it.
But you are right ^_^ it is a Greek story after all.
Also I mention that Dionysus is a male god, so cheese sandwich was the logical choice ^_^

4835836 I told her since she said Dionysus was male, Cheese Sandwich should be him. Pinkie is Ariadne, Dionysus' wife.

4835884
4835396
Aah i understand yes the genders ofc.
But a question. I dont remember any Delilahs from Greek mythology that was Samson's wife right?

4835905
When I was looking for a name for dinky, I was looking up Greek names and I found Delilah. ^_^

4835919 Hmmm i dunno but as far as i am concerned Delilah is Hebrew. If you need a name try one of the nymphs or niriides daughters of the sea poseidon or whatever. Try Penelope the wife of Odysseus or one of the muses or other nymphs.

Also there is no purgatory in the greek underworld. There are however the closest thing i've seen... The fields of Asphodel. http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Greek_underworld

Also... Whos Derpy? Why dont you try Cassandra? She was a prophetess that spread prophecies about dopm n gloom and was ignored. Dunno... But i see the connections with the mishaps Derpt causes.

4835950

Really? Hebrew? Well....too late to change it now ^_^
And I figured purgatory is to be mention.
And that is a good name for derpy, I will use that. Thanks for the idea.

The two servants are Spike and Granny Smith, yes?

EDIT: Just noticed they're listed at the bottom, haha. Aww, I wonder how they passed?

4836037
It's up to the reader, I won't really explain how they died. ^_^

4835991 Nah i guess thats k.

. And I figured purgatory is to mention.

I dont follow.

4836115

You know, just to explain that some souls don't really need to go to Tartarus, or to heaven (I forget the right name for it, is it the fields?)
I just needed to explain why spike and Granny Smith was there as hades servants.
Just making it up as I go, at least a little bit.

4836133 To be honest the Asphodel fields are pretty similar. Those who have commited crimes go there until the offended forgive them in a seven year cycle.

As for Paradise yes its Equal to the Elysian fields inside which are the blessed isles where souls who had a three consecutive Elysian Fields victories after their rebirths go to winning gold ticket to ETERNAL paradise.

4836270
Yup that's the one the Elysian Fields, thanks ^_^
And the other one too. There is just so many things to keep track.

4836074

Hah, I understand. I'd be more surprised if you -did- say it. C:

4836295 Here's the thing. I want your story in its' best possible shape. And my... "greekness" can really help with that. So why don't you pm me any questions or ideas or even add me in skype to discuss these things if we can? I SOOOO want this to be good.

Oh dear, people are commenting on your grammar....That's it, next time we're gonna HARDCORE get this stuff down. Oh, but you know I love this story and that your characterization is brilliant. I just wanted to say that I'm willing to work even harder next time to help you out. Hopefully I won't be too busy in the next few weeks, but I'll do my best and we'll get through it together!!!

4841593
Aw, that's so nice, but its okay, it wasn't that bad, just a few things at least it wasn't a lot and thanks I will be happy to work with you too. :twilightsmile:

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