Rainbow Dash the Wonderbolt

by derpychic

Chapter 9: Epilogue

"Let's get this party started" said Pinkie as they danced the night away. The songs consisted of:
"H-O-R-S-E"
"I knew you had a hay bale"
"I love rock and log"
"Horses are active"
"We will ride you"
"Hay bale"
And "Hoof braker"

"Keep it up DJ" said Pinkie.

They had unlimited chocolate cake, and wonderful games to play. They also made many new friends.

"Hey, how are the cup cakes Muffin" said Pinkie.

"Good, but my name's Derpy".

"OK Muffin".

Then Spike got a letter from Princess Celestia that read:

Dear Spike,
Why did you send me burnt hair and fabric, I know it wasn't Twilight. Are you saying that I'm going bald and need a wig?
-Sincerely, Princess Celestia

The End!?

Author's Note:

So what'd you think? Parody songs are:
"I love rock and roll"
"Sail"
"Heart breaker"

Comments

[derpychic]

Done!

-

[Willow the Pegasus]

Oh dear god why

[Glowing Ember]

What?

[Bongo Bongo]

I think this gave me epilepsy... and AIDS.

[Bongo Bongo]

4187040
I don't want to be that guy (as I agree with you entirely), but I think your "Yes" example kind of sucked, too.

[Dementia Ravenmane]

How someone can have nine chapters and only one thousand four hundred and forty three words is beyond me...

[WorstArtistEva]

"Really, cause I think we've already won" Then twilight stabbed spitfire in her heart... fucking hell that escalated quickly

[derpychic]

4187024 Well, at least you liked it a little.

-

[Flint Sparks]

"Dash" needs to be capitalized.

[Dementia Ravenmane]

4187545 Is "it wasn't good, please improve" a valid answer?

You could read other stories, books, guides on writing. I don't know, just make sure to improve.

[Drifting Heart]

This person screams troll if their freaky looking avatar doesn't then their story does.

[PrinERROR]

this.....this kills brain cells

[derpychic]

4187594
1. I drew the avatar
2.Sorry, but this is the first whole story I've written, every thing else that I've written is just a story outline, nothing more.

-

[Elsa Alicorn]

m.quickmeme.com/img/cd/cd2b4793950aee02cab6808d9592838c1f6da982a783eb71b0f4eadfe529a639.jpg

[Dementia Ravenmane]

4187673 Sorry to say, but this is what I would consider story outline.

[Boss_Hoss1]

I agree with the others, this needs expanded a lot.
When I write a quick story outline before I forget the idea, it looks alot like this before I go back and flesh things out. The counter on the right side of the index should be reading 1000 or more by the time you finish a chapter. (about 5-7 pages)
Check out some of the stuff in groups like "Writing Gold" in the "groups" button on the site page headers. There's a list on the right-hoof side of reccomended groups.

[Michael Hudson]

4187673
A first story will be why a story is subpar, or has plotholes. It does not excuse something that is unfinished, or simply terrible. Don't hide behind your first work, embrace that fact and make sure it is ready to be published, that way you give a good first impression.

[derpychic]

4188335 Yeah, I know, when I get better at writing stories I'll rewrite it. So please stop the negative comments until I announce that I rewrote it.

-

[Lelouch Vi Britania]

How the hell does a story with 9 chapters have a total word count of less than 2k words?

[derpychic]

4187592 If you didn't like it then why do you keep commenting on it? If you want I can delete it so no one has to suffer through it ever again, or I can improve it one day. But you have to understand that I need practice, not negativity.

-

[Commissar Holt]

Decided to read it, just to see why it's so bad.

[derpychic]

4190217 Thank you for your support . I asked some people on monsterhighdolls.com because they're nicer, so let's see their suggestions. How come no one talks about the story plot though, it's always on how I wrote it, not the story itself. Now I'm going to take it down for a little while, will that make every one feel better?

-

[derpychic]

So how would you guys like it if I gave Derpy a cameo in all my stories?

-

[Thaums]

4202673
no why would it be sarcasm

your art is beautiful with utmost grace

i envy it

[derpychic]

4203353 Then you should see how I draw with a pencil and paper.

-

[dashybrony2012]

It's a great story, I'm not going to comment negatively on it seeing as I think you may be getting tired of them but putting that aside it's a pretty awesome story I liked it

[derpychic]

4207319 Thanks, sorry that it's still kinda short, but I was working off of what I at first. I'm working on my next story already and Derpy's getting another cameo.

-

[Dashieluvzcandy]

I liked the idea behind this but it needed a lot more fleshing out and there were some spelling errors ect. But other than that this has the potential for a good story. Like you said, once you improve your skills you can always come back and flesh this out a bit more. Don't worry' bout the negative comments if the people aren't giving a legit excuse. I've only just started as well and my story probably needs improvement.

[derpychic]

4241247 Don't worry, I'm listening to everyone's suggestions, I'll rewrite it when I get better at writing stories

-

[Sky Dance]

Oh noooo!

[derpychic]

4250130 Are you referring to how bad the story is or the ending?

-

[Sky Dance]

4250257 Honestly, it's just the speed in which the fic is travelling at, it's way to fast.

Read some good fics and try to emulate them

[Patient X]

This is probably one of the most beautiful trollfics of all time. 11/10 would bang.

[derpychic]

4251608 Sorry, but I don't how to take that, it's not supposed to be a troll fic. I'm not sure if I should take that as an insult or a compliment.

-

[Patient X]

4253035 Take it as a compliment, then.

[derpychic]

4285931 yay.

-

[KaBar42]

i.imgur.com/gPi390g.png

[Merchent343]

I was originally going to enjoy my night of writing, but now I want to kill myself.

[APB]

I couldn't pick one so here's several.

i.huffpost.com/gadgets/slideshows/560/slide_560_11977_large.jpg
p.gr-assets.com/540x540/fit/hostedimages/1380422340/840150.gif
i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2010/10/30/article-0-0BD61BF2000005DC-1000_634x471.jpg
ww4.hdnux.com/photos/10/63/57/2309115/7/628x471.jpg
25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mbtxeyNJlN1rvcj9xo1_500.jpg

[Fallen Prime]

4241247

Shining, you mean?

Shh! You wanna get sued?

[Marathon]

4253035 Trollfic is a term applied to fanfictions so horrible that they could have only been written to fuck with people. The fact that your story was referred to as a Trollfic is an insult of the highest caliber, and a sign that they thought your story is the best at being the worst of all fanfictions. The fact that you took it well is not good at all.