• Published 24th Mar 2014
  • 19,800 Views, 138 Comments

The Relapse - dirty little secret



Queen Chrysalis has grown quite fond of Shining Armor's love. She wants more of it, and she has a plan.

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Comments ( 95 )

4136597
Good, good. :twilightsmile:

It's not just clop, it's art!

4138169
More than chapter 1?
That's the intention. :raritywink:

Well, that was pretty good. Though this sequel... hmmmm. Maybe Cadence is finally gonna break some of her own barriers?

Bet Shining'd be more than happy if things go right in that story!

And now I will rage about the Twilight thing. I would have agreed if he had a thing for Luna, Spitfire or even a batpony.

Anyway, will want to see where the drama goes now.

Comment posted by Burnasius deleted Mar 26th, 2014

All of my yes!

4138236
Oh yes. ^.^
Hm... though I may need to throw in another complicating factor.

I think in the last chapter of that one, I may have Shining, Cadance, and Twi-form Crysalis be in the middle of a hawt three-way... and the the real Twilight walks in on them. :twilightoops:
Twilight will assume that's 'future Twilight' there with them and freak out... then Cryssy transforms back to her true self... and Twilight freaks out more.
Heh, and then a sequel to that one, where Twilight gets involved for real. ^.^

4138292
Meh, the Shining & Twilight thing is pretty deep in the fanon, and I find it pretty sexy in a naughty kind of way. (Maybe it's because I don't have a sister?)
At any rate, it's not real incest, because she's not really his sister, now is it?

This was pretty awesome!

4138372
Not bad for being written and edited all in one day. :twilightsmile:

4138380 That is extremly impressive!

4138361
Implied incest. Anyway, I shall agree with the ideas of you two sequels and may cause Shining to marry Chrysalis as wel.

4138361

Sounds like some good humor.

"AHH! FUTURE ME IS WITH MY BROTHER AND FOALSITTER?!"

*Chrysalis changes back.*

"AHH! QUEEN CHRYSALIS IS WITH MY BROTHER AND FOALSITTER!?!?"

*Twilight foams at the mouth as her brain snaps, collapses.*

4138461
Indeed. That's going to be a fun scene. :rainbowkiss:
I think I might get in the habit of ending clopfics with a little touch of humor.

4138488

I absolutely adore humor, believe me. It is nothing but good times all around.

All three of them gather around Twilight, trying to rouse her out of her unconscious state. Chrysalis suggests Shining do something 'special'. Cadence inquires. Awkward silence. Shining resorts to picking Twilight up and shaking her off, doesn't work.

Chrysalis turns into Shining with a devious grin. Shining knows. He knoooows.

Commence supreme awkward as Twilight wakes up to penis in face.

Then more awkward as she goes unconscious again. Cadence bats Chrysalis on the back of the head, saying she knew it wouldn't work.

Start on newer, stranger methods to wake the alicorn up, likely all of them being sexual in some manner or another.

Oh man this was awesome! Short but to the point and hot as hell of course, but it did left me wondering if SA could actually fuck Chrysalys in her real form, maybe something for the sequel?

Talking about the sequel, Could you please let us know about it via a new chapter? Much more easy to spot.

Cadance finds out about Shining Armor's activities with Chrysalis... and she wants in on it.

Well, I always said these two are sex freaks (under the right circumstances.):pinkiecrazy:

This was very well done, especially for a story that claims to be clop for clop's sake. While it's true that there's not much in the way of plot, you manage to make the sex feel like it's working for the story rather than the other way around. Each encounter feels like it's building the tale, from the unimaginative sex with Cadance at the beginning giving thoughts of how their marriage bed has been all this time, the thoughts and feelings of Shining as he tries to reconcile his deep love for her, with his lack of enjoyment during sex. This all moves the story along and fleshes it out without spending a single scene giving that exposition. It feels natural and works in a wonderful way.

The sensual scenes are well detailed and filled with emotion that comes directly across to the reader. The monotony of the first scene is just as powerful as the taboo and animalistic need of the last, which speaks very highly to your skill as an author.

I'll be looking forward to your sequel(s), and I endorse both ideas expressed here: 4138361 :twilightblush:

Nice^^ im looking forward to the sequells

Well.... I would have loved to see how Twilight would have reacted to this...

Can't wait to see what else she has in store for the stallion:pinkiehappy:

Have your 200'th like author! :yay:

4138584
Well, I don't think I'll do anything that extreme...

4138624
Well, non-story chapter updates are illegal by site rules. :applejackunsure:
We've got a fancy new sequel-marking system, though, and that should notify you. I'll make a story-tagged blog post as well.

4138863
Nah, I'll keep Cadance as much in the personality I created for her as I can.

4138998
I try. :twilightsmile:
It's good to see that being appreciated!

4140622
Me too, me too.
Don't hold your breath too much, though. I think I'll work on finishing my mane 6 series as the higher priority.

4141855
Sequels sooner or later. Be patient.

4142193
:twilightsmile:

4142225
4142299
In the sequel. In the sequel.

4140622
Thanks! :twilightblush:
4142591

4142627

Eh, if it makes me laugh, I don't care. I'm just strange.

4142627 Quite honestly, I don't see how she is going to have the same timid, naive and reluctant personality and still join Shining and Chrysalis.:applejackunsure:

4142701
It'll be a challenge. :twilightsmile: But I think I'm up to it.

4142627 They are? Hum, and they used to be so convenient...

What I don't like about the current notification system is that although the post/story/blog do show up, the little red number doesn't work for them unless I'm actually following you, so I never notice until I browse the feed.

“There, better?” Twilight Sparkle's voice asked me.

Aw damn, and just when I thought incest would be avoided.

Shaking my head, I used my magic to levitate my armor over to the still-pristine bed. The Garnet was a good inn, and the rooms would all have nice, private showers. It would be the perfect place to wash up and think about what just happened.

Yeah, you just fucked your "sister". I think some part of me likes the concept but it has been over done here.

And just what would Cadance want? Somepony to dominate her instead of her only getting horny ever so often? If that is the case, she doesn't trust Shining as much as she should to tell him her fetishes.

I know it's meant to be effectively mindless clop, but I find myself more enamored with the story you have here than the sexy times, to be honest. I never pictured Shining and Cadance's marriage as a fairy tale ending, though the love they have for one another is clear. And you captured that beautifully. Kudos to you, good sir or madam! I will most definitely be keeping an eye out for the sequel!

Oh, and have a follow, and a moustache, while I'm at it. :moustache:

4143402
Well, figuring out what Cadance wants will be my challenge for the sequel. :raritywink:

4145010
Heh, the story was purely unintentional, I swear! :rainbowlaugh:
But yeah, it did evolve from just 'a way to get my two characters in bed together' into a story of its own. ^.^

4146207

I know the feeling, I assure you. :rainbowlaugh:

But, of all life's little accidents, I'd say that's one of the happiest, yeah?

Hate to be the one to mention it, but the artist is just Zev. The colon is a derpibooru tag, i.e 'Artist:Zev'

Great story though! Looking forward to more

4146799
:facehoof:
You can tell I don't get around much.

4148999
Good. :moustache:

i am looking forward to next part but cadence has thing for twin copy of herself. that would be awesome :pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

4152573
I think I might start it with Shining Armor coming home to see a copy of himself with his wife. :rainbowlaugh:
(The changeling drone impersonating him had to go home early, and things got a little heated.)

4138139 First of all; dat response, tho.
Second of all; really? A reference to your user name in the story? Not sure what I'm talking about, here's a quote;

Smirking, she stalked toward me. “Don't forget, Shining, I've been inside your head. I know each and every dirty little secret of yours.” She paused her walk and engulfed herself in green flames again, and the glare forced me to close my eyes.

:rainbowlaugh: Honestly, it's so obvious, it's subtle! That's what makes that bit funny!

4185804
Ah, good to know someone appreciates that bit. :rainbowlaugh:

Do you ever have that moment where you think " what the fuck is wrong with me... im getting hard/wet... from Ponies thats like getting hard/wet from seeing 2 washing machines humping each other!" Than you KEEP ON READING! this is how you know your a true brony/pega-sister!

4209664
/has never had that moment :trollestia:

4185804 my lap top put up random adds that coinside with words on my screen...funny part is, my screen highlighted what you were talking about (dirty little secret) so i couldnt halp but make a comment and:rainbowlaugh:

4282348 i sadly have...so what should i read next?

4676336
My other clopfics? :rainbowkiss:

Sadly, though, I do have to admit, you've probably already read the best one of them. :unsuresweetie:
The others are sexy, but perhaps not as artful.

4688109 Sorry man, I'm on my last fumes with fimfic and poneh in general, I will read the stories I'm already following, sequels of those (hint hint wink wink), and once that's done, I will be gone for good.

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