- Member Since 23rd May, 2013
- offline last seen Yesterday
dirty little secret
I tried so far… and got so hard… but in the end, it didn't even matter at all. (Direct Support)
dirty little secret
Joined 23rd May, 2013 ·
Offline
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Hm... 3 views, 3 likes, and 3 favorites.
I like the response so far!
...
*POMF*
2881582
Achievement: caused first wingboner
Good to finally see this is out! Much luck to you!
2881627
You're tellin' me! ^.^
Very hot. Thunderlane is a stud for hanging on for so long.
2881679
Oh yes.
I try. ^.^
Dirty little secret indeed. That was...well...yeah.
2884762
*Examines avatar*
Hm... liked story because of avatar, or chose avatar because of story?
First foray into erotic fiction, eh?
Well, it's a solid one.
If I was going to make some small criticisms, I'd say your paragraph formatting is a little strange. Indented paragraphs with no line breaks is great for printed work, but with online works the proper format should be a full blank line and no indents at all for each new paragraph.
That's.....really all I can think of to criticize.
So yeah, good job, keep up the good work!
--CG
2881546
I see your story already has a substantial amount of favorites and likes!
I saw it was going to be posted and couldn't wait to see the finished product. It's nice to see it finally, it was definitely a nostalgic read (lol).
Earned my green thumb. A great short and sweet first attempt, and I'm anxious to see more from you in the future.
2887500
If there was a small critique I could make (yeah I know you've probably heard enough from me already
), it would be what CarcinoGeneticist said.
Anyways Congratulations!
is it odd that I am writing a story about rarity making a suit for a stallion as well?
(contains no sex)
2887500
Eh... I know.
But I like the indented paragraphs better. They look more professional to me... and they seem to imply someone who takes their stories more seriously. *shrug*
Just my impression.
I know the line break method is generally preferred for on-computer viewing, but I'm doing all this in hopes of getting enough practice to one day be a published novelist... so I really like seeing my words in the more print-like format.
2888037
Glad to see you approve. ^.^
...But... it didn't make the feature box.
Part of the reason I did this in the first place was to test a theory a friend told me: "Any clopfic with decent grammar is guaranteed to hit the feature box." I'm pretty sure I can label that as 'disproven' now... unless somebody can point out a bunch of grammatical errors that somehow made it through.
2888096
No, perfectly normal for you to be so inspired by this story that you want to write something similar.
That is what you meant, right?
2888480 no, purely cooincidence. Don't take this the wrong way, but i'd never be inspored by a clop fic
There! You accidentally a word! Fuck!
I read it again, specifically looking for errors. Instead, every time that I found something that I thought you did wrong, I would pause and think, "Wait, let's verify this," and ended up learning things about proper grammar myself! Flawless grammar as far as I can tell; I'm sure that there's room for improvement, but whatever it may be is beyond my level of knowledge.
I only have the same gripe that those guys pointed out about the indentation. Computer documents are pretty much the sole medium I read things in now, so it felt a little odd using a format that was meant to save paper as a side effect when there is no 'paper' to waste. It honestly doesn't matter though, to each his own and all that.
This was a really hot clopfic, I fuggin' loved it! Anatomically correct ponies are my favorite, and written with such perfect writing (again, as far I can tell) that I was not broken out of my immersion by some silly mistake. This is definitely one of my favorites, I can't wait to see more from you; I am eager to watch what you will write next!
2889503
I was just joking.
2889599
Ah, I did!
*fixes*
I'm a stickler for grammar myself, and I've learned a lot from my various proofreaders ever since I've been writing.
Weird how all the sudden people care about that.
This is around the 4th fic I've published that way, but the first to have anybody mention that.
I guess I should give my readers what they want, though, and most seem to want line-break paragraphs.
Whatevs.
Thanks!
I think it may be a while before I write my next clop, though I do have a few story ideas, but definitely check out my main account if you like my writing: http://www.fimfiction.net/user/ocalhoun no clop there, but still some good stories. (And to raise the shameless self-promotion level to 11...) I have a fantastic character drama about Scootaloo coming 'soon' (I'm 2/3 done with the first revision) that -- I think -- will make all my other fics look meaningless and shallow by comparison.
Aw, heck, I think now would be a great time to spill the beans on my candidates for 'next clopfic idea'.
-More like this one, each one featuring a different one of the mane 6 (until all 6 are written for)
-A series about the adventures of a sex therapist in Equestria
-A clopfic featuring Crackle the dragon. (I've been challenged by a friend to do that one. It must include the word 'cloaca'.)
2890263 oh, okay. I still think its funny.
Nice, simple and elegantly written fic. Worth a clop and a thumbs up.
2911279
Thanks!
You did an excellent job with this being your first erotic story, nicely done!
2921853
Good for a first try, or objectively good?
Anyway,
Thanks!
2925164
Heh, I mean as this is your first go with this, you did really good! Would love to read more stories from you in the future.
I liked this
3263089
I'm glad you did. ^.^
Almost up to 3,000 views without ever being feature boxed.
Damn, being successful at writing clop is easy!
3299457 Clop or not, the only thing you have to do is write well, which you do.
3313941
Well, still... this one has gotten 3x more attention than any of my other (non feature-boxed) fics...
Though it did disprove a freind of mine's theory: 'Any clopfic with decent grammar is guaranteed to hit the feature box.'
(And apparently, adding it to the 'Reading it for the plot' group was a good idea!)
3317989 True. My clop gets far more attention than my non-clop as a general rule. Not always, but usually.
Though your comment does lead me to ask: Why didn't you publish this under your normal account?
3318775
Because I don't want clop overwhelming the image of my main account...
I guess I don't want the list of my most popular stories to be all clop, that's all.
And, I think it's a good idea for this one to be clop-only... so that anyone who follows this account won't be disappointed by non-clop stories being posted.
You accidentally another word here...
3321688
Aw, dammit.
*goes off to fix it*
OMG! LOVED IT!
3379163
Thanks!
2890263 I think Thunder is a god of sex, I mean how the F did he hold on for that long?
3922295
Like me, he has no problem holding off orgasm for as long as he wants.
This was fucking hot as hell
!
3986652
Good, good. ^.^
I'd tell you to stay tuned for my next fic, but you already are!
3989725
I can't wait to see
I wish my like meant something, but it does not because it is only the 213.
4052458
Well, I have another just-published one where it would be a lot more meaningful.
Though, you might not like that one as much.
That was fucking amazing, one of the best clopfics I've ever read!
The way you describe everything is so immersive; you are an extremelly talented writer and I really enjoyed this.
4131490
Thanks!
Good to know my effort is being appreciated.
4131882
i.imgur.com/yzU4vwk.jpg
4140884
I try.
4141478 You try very well then!
I approve
4142880
Withholds approval for your avatar.
4143158
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