• Member Since 23rd May, 2013
  • offline last seen Yesterday

dirty little secret


I tried so far… and got so hard… but in the end, it didn't even matter at all. (Direct Support)

Comments ( 82 )

Hm... 3 views, 3 likes, and 3 favorites.
...
:twilightsheepish: I like the response so far!

*POMF*

2881582
Achievement: caused first wingboner :twilightblush:

Good to finally see this is out! Much luck to you!

2881627

Good to finally see this is out!

You're tellin' me! ^.^

Very hot. Thunderlane is a stud for hanging on for so long.

2881679
Oh yes. :raritywink:

Very hot.

I try. ^.^

Dirty little secret indeed. That was...well...yeah. :twilightblush:

2884762
*Examines avatar* :duck:
Hm... liked story because of avatar, or chose avatar because of story?

First foray into erotic fiction, eh?

Well, it's a solid one. :twilightsmile:

If I was going to make some small criticisms, I'd say your paragraph formatting is a little strange. Indented paragraphs with no line breaks is great for printed work, but with online works the proper format should be a full blank line and no indents at all for each new paragraph.

That's.....really all I can think of to criticize.

So yeah, good job, keep up the good work!

--CG

2881546
I see your story already has a substantial amount of favorites and likes! :raritywink:
I saw it was going to be posted and couldn't wait to see the finished product. It's nice to see it finally, it was definitely a nostalgic read (lol).
Earned my green thumb. A great short and sweet first attempt, and I'm anxious to see more from you in the future.
2887500

If I was going to make some small criticisms, I'd say your paragraph formatting is a little strange. Indented paragraphs with no line breaks is great for printed work, but with online works the proper format should be a full blank line and no indents at all for each new paragraph.

If there was a small critique I could make (yeah I know you've probably heard enough from me already :twilightsheepish:), it would be what CarcinoGeneticist said.
Anyways Congratulations! :moustache:

is it odd that I am writing a story about rarity making a suit for a stallion as well?
(contains no sex)

2887500
Eh... I know.
:unsuresweetie:
But I like the indented paragraphs better. They look more professional to me... and they seem to imply someone who takes their stories more seriously. *shrug*
Just my impression.
I know the line break method is generally preferred for on-computer viewing, but I'm doing all this in hopes of getting enough practice to one day be a published novelist... so I really like seeing my words in the more print-like format. :twilightblush:

2888037
Glad to see you approve. ^.^

I see your story already has a substantial amount of favorites and likes! :raritywink:

...But... it didn't make the feature box.
Part of the reason I did this in the first place was to test a theory a friend told me: "Any clopfic with decent grammar is guaranteed to hit the feature box." I'm pretty sure I can label that as 'disproven' now... unless somebody can point out a bunch of grammatical errors that somehow made it through. :trixieshiftright:

2888096
No, perfectly normal for you to be so inspired by this story that you want to write something similar. :twilightsmile:
That is what you meant, right? :rainbowlaugh:

2888480 no, purely cooincidence. Don't take this the wrong way, but i'd never be inspored by a clop fic

Not wasting another second, both mares lifted up front legs and tossed him onto the soft carpeted floor.

There! You accidentally a word! Fuck!

I read it again, specifically looking for errors. Instead, every time that I found something that I thought you did wrong, I would pause and think, "Wait, let's verify this," and ended up learning things about proper grammar myself! Flawless grammar as far as I can tell; I'm sure that there's room for improvement, but whatever it may be is beyond my level of knowledge.

I only have the same gripe that those guys pointed out about the indentation. Computer documents are pretty much the sole medium I read things in now, so it felt a little odd using a format that was meant to save paper as a side effect when there is no 'paper' to waste. It honestly doesn't matter though, to each his own and all that.

This was a really hot clopfic, I fuggin' loved it! Anatomically correct ponies are my favorite, and written with such perfect writing (again, as far I can tell) that I was not broken out of my immersion by some silly mistake. This is definitely one of my favorites, I can't wait to see more from you; I am eager to watch what you will write next!

2889599

There! You accidentally a word! Fuck!

Ah, I did!
*fixes*

I read it again, specifically looking for errors. Instead, every time that I found something that I thought you did wrong, I would pause and think, "Wait, let's verify this," and ended up learning things about proper grammar myself! Flawless grammar as far as I can tell; I'm sure that there's room for improvement, but whatever it may be is beyond my level of knowledge.

I'm a stickler for grammar myself, and I've learned a lot from my various proofreaders ever since I've been writing. :twilightsmile:

I only have the same gripe that those guys pointed out about the indentation. Computer documents are pretty much the sole medium I read things in now, so it felt a little odd using a format that was meant to save paper as a side effect when there is no 'paper' to waste. It honestly doesn't matter though, to each his own and all that.

Weird how all the sudden people care about that. :rainbowhuh: This is around the 4th fic I've published that way, but the first to have anybody mention that.
Whatevs. :rainbowwild: I guess I should give my readers what they want, though, and most seem to want line-break paragraphs.

This was a really hot clopfic, I fuggin' loved it! Anatomically correct ponies are my favorite, and written with such perfect writing (again, as far I can tell) that I was not broken out of my immersion by some silly mistake. This is definitely one of my favorites, I can't wait to see more from you; I am eager to watch what you will write next!

Thanks! :twilightsheepish:
I think it may be a while before I write my next clop, though I do have a few story ideas, but definitely check out my main account if you like my writing: http://www.fimfiction.net/user/ocalhoun no clop there, but still some good stories. (And to raise the shameless self-promotion level to 11...) I have a fantastic character drama about Scootaloo coming 'soon' (I'm 2/3 done with the first revision) that -- I think -- will make all my other fics look meaningless and shallow by comparison.

Aw, heck, I think now would be a great time to spill the beans on my candidates for 'next clopfic idea'.

-More like this one, each one featuring a different one of the mane 6 (until all 6 are written for)
-A series about the adventures of a sex therapist in Equestria
-A clopfic featuring Crackle the dragon. (I've been challenged by a friend to do that one. It must include the word 'cloaca'.)

2890263 oh, okay. I still think its funny.

Nice, simple and elegantly written fic. Worth a clop and a thumbs up.

You did an excellent job with this being your first erotic story, nicely done!

2921853
Good for a first try, or objectively good? :unsuresweetie:

Anyway, :twilightsheepish: Thanks!

2925164

Heh, I mean as this is your first go with this, you did really good! Would love to read more stories from you in the future. :twilightsmile:

I liked this:twilightsmile:

Almost up to 3,000 views without ever being feature boxed.

Damn, being successful at writing clop is easy! :rainbowwild:

3299457 Clop or not, the only thing you have to do is write well, which you do.

:pinkiehappy:

3313941
Well, still... this one has gotten 3x more attention than any of my other (non feature-boxed) fics... :twilightsheepish:

Though it did disprove a freind of mine's theory: 'Any clopfic with decent grammar is guaranteed to hit the feature box.' :rainbowwild:

(And apparently, adding it to the 'Reading it for the plot' group was a good idea!)

3317989 True. My clop gets far more attention than my non-clop as a general rule. Not always, but usually.

Though your comment does lead me to ask: Why didn't you publish this under your normal account?

:pinkiehappy:

3318775
Because I don't want clop overwhelming the image of my main account...
I guess I don't want the list of my most popular stories to be all clop, that's all.

And, I think it's a good idea for this one to be clop-only... so that anyone who follows this account won't be disappointed by non-clop stories being posted. :ajsmug:

... reveling in the feeling of satisfying the two mares at the same.

You accidentally another word here... :applejackunsure:

3321688
Aw, dammit. :ajbemused:
*goes off to fix it*

OMG! LOVED IT!

2890263 I think Thunder is a god of sex, I mean how the F did he hold on for that long?

3922295
Like me, he has no problem holding off orgasm for as long as he wants.:moustache:

This was fucking hot as hell :heart::heart::heart::heart:!

3986652
Good, good. ^.^

I'd tell you to stay tuned for my next fic, but you already are! :rainbowkiss:

3989725

I can't wait to see :derpytongue2:

I wish my like meant something, but it does not because it is only the 213. :fluttershysad:

4052458
Well, I have another just-published one where it would be a lot more meaningful. :raritywink:
Though, you might not like that one as much. :unsuresweetie:

That was fucking amazing, one of the best clopfics I've ever read! :pinkiehappy:

The way you describe everything is so immersive; you are an extremelly talented writer and I really enjoyed this.

4131490
Thanks!
Good to know my effort is being appreciated. :twilightblush:

4141478 You try very well then!

4142880
Withholds approval for your avatar. :trixieshiftright:

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