I don't think she's from around here.
Within moments of walking downstairs I heard the water turn on upstairs in the bathroom and sighed in relief. The poor girl was probably some hippy or had grown up in a place far away from here where societal norms like nudity were different. I thought for a moment that it might be an interesting place to visit from a strictly sociological sense although part of it was also even in her disheveled state, Twilight Sparkle had a great body.
In any case, I rummaged around the fridge trying to find something that she might be able to eat. There wasn't much here. My parents were on a health kick and most of the fridge was filled with organic vegetables, soy milk and stuff that I really couldn't identify. There wasn't much in the way of anything that needed to be cooked but that was good because I wasn't much of a cook myself. I could make a few things but I never really had the urge to learn. I figured a salad would be the best choice. Maybe some bread and cheese on the side and maybe tomorrow we'd have to go shopping. I thought to myself how odd it was that I was already thinking of us as a "we" and not that she was just some girl I had literally just found. She'd probably stay a few days and then disappear off somewhere. I made a mental note to hide the valuables just in case.
An hour later I was watching some TV, not really paying attention, when I heard the floor creak behind me. I turned to see Twilight Sparkle and for a moment I swear time stopped. This was not the same girl I had seen earlier rummaging through my garbage. No, this was an incredibly exotic woman with an almost Asian look about her. She had purple hair with a magenta streak it in, large, liquid eyes that looked purple in the light of the TV and a tattoo of a pink star on the side of her butt. She was also wonderfully, gloriously naked and totally unashamed of it. She tilted her head a bit to the side as if wondering why I wasn't saying anything and was just looking at her dumbfounded.
I shook myself out of my reverie or else I know I would have just sat there admiring her and instead asked her to follow me. We went upstairs, my eyes straight ahead so I wouldn't be distracted and I took her to my mother's closet. They looked to be about the same size and I urged her to pick out a few things to wear.
Like before, she seemed unaware of how clothes worked and it took some trial and error to get her into something. In the end I had to show her with my own clothes how to put them on. I was blushing furiously by the end in part because this felt so wrong but also because she had a childlike naiveté about the whole affair that made me feel bad for thinking such dirty thoughts about her.
"Okay, I made a salad and some stuff in case you're still hungry. Or if you want we can just hang for or if you want to sleep the bed is right there, " I said pointing to my parent's bed.
"Actually the salad sounds good about now, " she said with an embarrassed smile as her stomach gurgled in anticipation.
"Understood, " I said and went back downstairs with her to the kitchen where I had set everything up.
She sat at the table and although I could see she was hungry she waited and studied the food. There wasn't anything wrong with it. It was just a simple green salad with veggies and some Italian dressing. But she focused on it as if trying to will the food directly into her mouth even though there was a fork right there. Finally she just shook her head slightly as if dismissing a thought and dived face first into the bowl and started to eat.
It's not every day that you notice a person trying to eat salad from a bowl without using their hands in any way. But for some reason this seemed almost in tune with how inexperienced she actually was. I thought to myself it was almost as if some alien had landed on Earth without really knowing anything about us or our culture and just acted like they thought we would act.
"Uhmmm, Twilight?"
"Hmm?" she looked up at me with her mouth full of lettuce and little bits of salad and dressing stuck to her face.
"You might find the fork to work a little better. It's definitely a lot less messy."
She turned to the fork on her right hand side and then gingerly picked it up as if seeing one for the first time. She turned it this way and that in front of her face before carefully using it to spear a bit of green pepper in her bowl and bring it to her mouth. She smiled as if having learned something new. It was cute to see her smile but the effect was ruined by the fact she still had some greenery all over her face. I motioned to her with the napkin and she quickly wiped her face clean.
"So Twilight? That's a bit of an uncommon name around here. Can I assume you chose it yourself or was it the name your parents saddled you with?"
She looked at me oddly, stopping in mid chew before continuing and swallowing. "I never wore a saddle except for special occasions even on my naming day."
Now it was my turn to look at her oddly because I honestly couldn't understand what it was she had just said. "Nooo. I just meant was it the name they gave you or did you choose it later on in life? It's no big deal. I mean I know a guy who legally changed his name to Still Waters because he felt it suited him better than Larry Bornstein."
"It's actually my name."
"You must come from a very interesting place, " I said trying to push for a little more info from her.
"Maybe I do, I can't seem to remember very much." She got a faraway look on her face before returning to her meal.
It wasn't long before she had cleaned her bowl as well as the bread and cheese and she sighed happily. "Thank you so much for this Will. I can't remember when I actually ate something this good."
"Thanks but it's only a salad, I'm not much of a cook and it's really the only thing I had that didn't need to be cooked or anything, " I replied lamely.
"No! Really! It was very good."
"Thank you, " I said and decided to switch tracks. "I'm sorry I need to know. Could you tell me what you were doing outside in the state you were in?"
Her face clouded over for a moment and I worried that I had maybe said the wrong thing before she answered, "I don't remember. I seem to recall an explosion, somepony calling my name from far away and then waking up in that forest. At first I thought I was in the Everfree but then I noticed how I looked, " she said while absently looking at her hands.
"How you looked? I don't know about you but you look fine to me."
"R-r-right! Thank you, but that's not what I meant, " she said evasively. "I'm sorry but everything is hazy and mixed up. I don't seem to remember much what happened before or where I came from, " she said but there was something about it that just wasn't right. She knew something that she wasn't telling me. I wasn't going to press the point because it was late and we were both needing some sleep. As if on cue she yawned in what was possibly the cutest way possible.
"I think that's your cue to go to sleep and I'm feeling a little tired myself so I think it's about time." She stood up and went to the foot of the stairs and looked back at me as if to ask what was taking me so long. "You can sleep upstairs in the room where you got the clothes. Feel free to look in the drawers for some pajamas if you're more comfortable sleeping that way. I'm actually sleeping down here until I get everything sorted out, " I told her.
"Oh. Okay. I'll head upstairs then," Twilight said a little uncertainly before heading up.
I knew why she wanted me to come upstairs or at least I suspected why. But I felt wrong trying anything with her. In her state it was almost like I was taking advantage of a child or something. She might feel that sleeping with me was necessary as some kind of payment for the food and place to sleep but it felt wrong to me so I got on the couch, turned off the light and tried my damndest to get some shut eye.
I was drifting between being asleep and awake when I heard the floorboards creak and I heard Twilight creep into the room.
"Will?" she asked softly. I pretended to be asleep and waited to see what she would do next. I figured she'd start to look about the room trying to steal something when I felt her lift the blanket and slip onto the couch. I felt her snuggle against me before hearing her whisper, "good night" which was quickly followed by her falling asleep.
Normally I would have thought this was some sort of invitation to hold her and possibly even have sex with her. But my guess was she was just lonely and scared in this big old house all alone and needed some security. Besides she was asleep and I prefer my women to be at least conscious before making any kind of move on them. And so instead I just settled back and let the events of the day catch up and send me to sleep as well.
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Sexy human Twilight?
31.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_luq82sa1WT1r1b6b6o1_500.gif
I have to admit, I would find it hard enough to get to sleep with the memories of her naked firing my imagination, never mind having her in bed (well, couch) next to me.
Setting aside my mind being in the gutter, looking interesting so far. I am kind of getting that itch at the back of my head that's telling me this probably won't be finished, but we'll see where it goes. Looking forward to the next chapter.
Either Will didn't pick up on that, or he chose not to say anything. Man, this is getting good.
4091590
He didn't pick up on it because he thought he just misheard her. After all, she didn't try to censor herself or even act like what she said was wrong. And why should she? As far as she's concerned she used perfectly cromulent words.
There will be some points where Twilight let's go an "Equestriaism" such as referring to hands as hooves, using somepony instead of somebody and even using Celestia's name in vain. Will's not going to be able to ignore all of those things and the truth shall make itself known.
4092402 Nice. I thought it'd be something like that, but now I see you've got it all planned out. This is gonna be great.
that's what humans from equestria girls should of looked like.
Ohh a new chapter! You have made me happy this day sir
I have a soft spot for stories of this nature, so I'll be keeping an eye on it.
Interesting, though you didn't explain how Will looks or what clothes Twilight chose.
Other than that, nice starting two chapters.^^
This has my attention. Keep it up.
4094168
Damn that movie was an abomination and I hear they're making a sequel. Will the money grubbing never end?
4094603
Thank you
4096295
Hope I don't disappoint
4096981
Honestly I didn't think it was necessary. There will be examples of this later on but I wanted to stay away from the cliche, "I have this kind of hair and these color eyes. Today I was wearing...". Same thing with Twilight. It's less about what she's wearing because let's be honest the closet of a middle aged woman will not necessarily be something that looks good on a much younger woman. There will be a point where Twilight and Will go shipping... I mean shopping. Damn Freudian slip. But don't worry, Will isn't a complete blank slate and you'll get some descriptions of Twilight's new fashion sense later.
4097801 Alright then.^_^ Better late than never, as they say, eh?^_^
4097801
Nope, it won't.
Also I loved your story, and I can't wait for more, (This could almost be better then my little dashie.)
4097801
Given that they're a business, no. They will continue doing things to make money.
Granted, Equestria Girls could have been better, to be mild and polite about it. But the little girls liked it, and the little girls are still the real source of income for the franchise.
4088889
Only 71? I have 1335. Not including this.
4101492 I had like 500 but I deleted all and added new ones.
2 days ago I reached 326 so I deleted all the ones I don't read and right now I have 87
4101750
Wow. I like being able to search my read laters for the type of story I'm in the mood for.
4101765 same, but like, I have too many of the same stories, and having too many makes it pretty hard to find the ones I really want to read.
4101797
Good point.
Hey-HEY! Another one! I dunno why but it seems like I've spotted a few of this kind of story pop up recently. The more the merrier!
s6.postimg.org/dd47s96ap/Pirate_Approved.jpg
I like how Will didn't react when Twi was talking about somepony calling her name. It kind of communicates how out of it he is that he wouldn't notice such an unusual thing for someone to say.
As for this story as a whole... I regret to inform you that I will be keeping an eye on it so that I can continue reading it as more chapters are uploaded.
To translate into something an ordinary person would understand, "I liked the story enough that I want to see where it is going... whether you like it or not."
4105904 I have around 150 rn, but I'm too lazy to check.
4101492
°-°
that is a lot
4106084
Yeah it is.
4106637 13 and proud of it.
i like it not shure where it is going but i like it.
4096295
*continues lurking*
4106968
That's pretty good. I wish I only had thirteen. Now I have 1340.
Okay, how do you manage to fit two adults on a couch like that? I'd think that at best it would be incredibly cramped and probably uncomfortable, and there's a very good chance that Twilight will fall off at some point.
Well written and generally a good start, but I don't like how little direction you've got on where this story is going.
If I spot this on the front page again in a few weeks or months then I will pick it up again, but it isn't enough as is for me to favourite it.
4110598
It's a big couch with an ottoman type affair that is more than large enough for two or more adults. While I don't have a picture of it, as it was something based on one my grandparents actually did buy back in the 70's and kept it around for years later, I've found similar things online like here: i.ebayimg.com/t/Wohnlandschaft-Couch-Big-Sofa-Couchgarnitur-Ecksofa-/00/$(KGrHqQOKpkE26j0LLhJBNz!w4io9!~~_35.JPG
You seem to be able to competently tell a story, but you also have a tendency to use run-on sentences; your grammar seems fairly good otherwise.
Do you have reason to have most of the title not capitalized? Sorry, it just looks messy to me. You could have a reason, or not. I honestly don't care too much.
But I'm reading it, regardless of such.
4115832
Can you point out a run-on sentence? A long sentence is not a run-on sentence and I know I have a tendency to use those from time to time. I've always been told that a run-on sentence has two or more separate clauses that would better be used in two independent sentences. If I've used one then I'd like to have it pointed out.
4118762
Falcon 7 or Phil Ken Sebben? Always preferred the Stephen Colbert version of the character.
4121786
Just didn't think of it to be honest. No point in changing it now.
4123126
As an example, the third sentence in the first chapter.
"Up until last week it had belonged to my parents but due to a careless driver I had been orphaned at the tender age of 25 and all their worldly belongings had been passed onto me."
Note that there are no breaks between any clauses, and that this would be better as several sentences.
For clarification, here are the clauses:
Up until last week it had belonged to my parents
due to a careless driver I had been orphaned at the tender age of 25
all their worldly belongings had been passed onto me
And here is a grammatically correct, but still annoying, version of the same sentence:
"Up until last week it had belonged to my parents, but due to a careless driver I had been orphaned at the tender age of 25, and all their worldly belongings had been passed onto me."
And finally, here's a revision that seeks to improve it by revising everything.
"Up until last week it had belonged to my parents, but now they're gone. A careless driver took them from me. Physically, economically, I was fine; I inherited everything. Emotionally? Twenty-five years could never be enough time with them."
FYI, I'm pretty sure there's an error in the short description.
Waiting for the update.
4507036
Well, the story has changed author after the origional author left the fandom!
5688231
It was just transferred to me and I got some of his notes for what he was planning. I'm currently working on it as well as going by what Umachan wanted. It might take a couple weeks but hopefully there will be a new chapter out sooner than later.
5708824 Take your time. And it's great to see this story continued.
5708837
This is why I asked him if I could. I love this story too and I hate to see it when a story isn't continued.