Doom: The Equestrian Campaign

by The Doom-Guy

Sometimes the weirdest thing's happen...

Roseluck squealed in terror and beat her hooves against the hulking beast that had her pinned to the ground. "Get off! Please don' eatmeIdon'twannadieI'MTOOYOUNG!" She was silenced when The Monster clamped it's hand over her mouth. This was it, this was the end. Any second now The Monster was going to peel her like an orange and eat her insides for a snack. She wished she hadn't left her house today, she didn't even need anymore roses for her store! She should have stayed home and slept in! Roseluck closed her eyes and waited for the end.

It didn't come. The weight on her chest lifted, though the hand holding her mouth shut remained. Roseluck shuddered and dared to open her eye's. The Monster was looking down at her, but it wasn't tearing into her. Maybe it wanted her to watch, maybe it wanted to see her face when it plunged it's hand's into her belly and scooped out her gut's, maybe it was walking away to go find a sharp stick to stick up her...

Hold on, it was walking away? The Monster was moving towards the bridge that led into Ponyville. Roseluck gave herself a quick once-over and scowled. Other than a bruise or two from the tackle, she was fine. Something about this bugged her. What monster attacks it's prey only to get up and walk away? Roseluck stood up and trotted a safe distance behind the monster. She felt compelled to follow it.

Doomguy let go of the petrified horse and started towards the bridge. The thing's screaming made his ear's ring more than his beloved minigun! Something strange was going on here, and Doomguy was going to find out what. Maybe he had landed in a town that was built above a toxic waste dump? That made sense to him, considering that EVERYTHING in Phobos was coated in toxic waste. Humans...they could build starships and jump to different dimensions, but heaven-forbid if they had to do something with their junk besides dumping it in the most random places they could find.

The sound of clip-clopping hooves behind him made Doomguy pause and turn around. The blabbering horse he had tackled a minute ago froze in place and stared up at him. Was the thing seriously following him? Doomguy made a motion with his hand's that hopefully would be translated as GO AWAY before turning back around and continuing on his way. Not a moment after he turned his back the clip-clopping resumed. Doomguy growled and shook his head. Whatever...he would just ignore it.

When Doomguy reached the crest of the hill after he reached the end of the bridge, his eyes almost bugged out of his head. He found a town alright...just one problem. It was full of technicolor horses! Doomguy took off his helmet and rubbed his eyes in disbelief. Where the HELL had he ended up!?

Applebloom and Scootaloo sighed in disappointment. Their mad dash through the wood's had amounted to nothing, and now they were short and breath and patience. "I don't get it! Something happened here, but I can't see anything!" Scootaloo grumped. Applebloom nodded her head in agreement and sat down. "Ah heard the bang's, an ah heard the yips, but all ah see is a pile of wood and a bunch of these metal thingies!"

Applebloom held a soot covered bit of metal between her hooves and sniffed it. It smelled a little like the powder used in fireworks...maybe somepony had been testing fireworks in the forest. No...that idea didn't make sense to her. Why do it in the wood's instead of the fields outside town? Things weren't adding up and she didn't like it. Scootaloo leaned against the pile of wood and yelped when the pile shifted and dumped a log on top of her.

"GET IT OFF!" Scootaloo shouted. "IT'S CRUSHING ME!" Applebloom dropped the metal and ran over to Scootaloo. She braced herself against the log and pushed. Sweetie Bell broke through the foliage and stared at her friends in shock. "Don't just stand there Sweetie! Help me!" Applebloom grunted as she pushed. Sweetie ran over and pushed against the log. With Sweeties added strength, they were able to free Scootaloo from the log. The oddly sticky log...

Roseluck stared up at the monster and scratched her head. Why had it stopped? Was it confused, scared maybe? The monster pulled off it's helmet and turned around. It pointed a finger at her and snarled, making her blood run cold. Did it change it's mind, was it going to eat her? Roseluck prayed to Celestia she wasn't about to become diced pony. The Monster stomped over to her and grabbed her by the throat, hoisting her off the ground with ease. The Monster scowled, and Roseluck was so close to him she could feel his hot breath on her cheek.

"Where the hell am I, who and what the hell are you, and where can I get a beer around here?"

Comments

[The Doom-Guy]

4073209
Ask and you shall receive!

[Soundy The Robot]

4073334 doom guy has vocal cords and basic intelligence?!

[NiceMouse]

I'd have to say that my favorite type of comedy fictions, are Doom Guy fictions. Just the idea of a giant gun toting brute having to cope with the fact that he's in a place filled with marshmallow horses gets a chuckle out of me. Keep it up man!

[Death2205]

4074115 mother of celestia..............

[Jack Kellar]

4074902 RIP AND TEAR THROUGH THESE CHAPTERS!

[TheAussieBlue]

This fic isn't what I'd call good, but it isn't what I'd call bad. I'd say that it is progressing along under the steam of it's crossover for the most part.

You have much potential, but I just don't see enough to keep me here.

A bit more double checking of your formatting along with longer chapters and this would be worthy of the feature box.

[Luna Secret Stallion]

and where can I get a beer around here?

This is my kinda fic!

[The Doom-Guy]

4076396
Thanks for your input, I appreciate it.

[chrismonteith]

I like, but not yet very funny

[Viceroy]

moar

[The Doom-Guy]

4078376
I'll do my best!

[Madd Kossack 115]

"Where the hell am I, who and what the hell are you, and where can I get a beer around here?"

Oh Doom-Guy, you are SUCH a card! Seriously, if Doom-Guy actually talked, and made wise-cracks like Duke Nukem or Serious Sam, that would TOTALLY be something in character for him to say.

Story's starting a little slow otherwise, but hopefully you can get the ball rolling soon.

[Nuclear Grenade]

I hope this is Brutal Doom guy because then everyone is in for a world of hurt.

[The Doom-Guy]

Holy smokes Batman! I never expected this story to become so popular! Thanks for all the support, now off to complete chapter three!

[BaronCorrupt]

Loving it so far.

[Immortan Joe]

Still can't beat my silent depiction of Doomguy.

Just kidding I liked this a lot, here have a like.

[Fallenstar Nighthoof]

I'm happy with this, only hoping(way to much honestly) that Doomy ends up with a pet demon.

[D48]

I am liking what you are doing with this and especially the fact that you are throwing Rose at Doomguy, but you really need to make another editing pass. Most of it is not too bad, but you have tons of random apostrophes (') in things that should not have them. It seems to be mostly centered on plurals (e.g. eye's instead of eyes), but there were some other related errors and the total count was enough to make the story a bit hard to read.

[Metal Pony]

interesting watching

[Raven Shadow]

Lol way to go Doomguy! I love it keep up the great work.

[FlimPhilosophication]

Hehe... If this were a 100% conversion/ crossover; then DoomGuy would be running around at 57mph while caring over 200 pounds of guns and armor while kicking major ass in the process... But I don't think Equestria could possibly handle even a fraction of badasserie of that magnitude .

Thus, it is once again proven that; DoomGuy is, in fact, the most badass marine to have ever existed in the history of ever. No exceptions.

[Brother Malachai]

Pinkie Promise!

Rip N' Tear Your Guts!!!!

Alas, this one didn't do so well for Doom Guy. I'd rather see these two and Duke Nukem team-up anyway.

[thelonesomehumansniper]

4079601 update?

[thatguyyeah]

would love an update

[Blodhgarm]

Such a shame this story was cancelled.

[nullvariable]

7284891 Goddamnit. I just found this.

[Spartan III]

god fucking damn it, i want more

[The Crystal king]

Is this story dead?

[TheRedButcher]

This is dead isn't it?

[OlDreaddy]

The guy has not been on since 2014... This story is long dead.

[OlDreaddy]

9645962
The story is dead so is the guy's account so bugger off.

[cheese boy]

F