Spike travels into Saddle Arabia at the request of Twilight Sparkle, who came across a group of scrolls gifted to her by A.K. Yearling. He ends up coming upon the fabled Sand Wand, a magical artifact that is capable of controlling the forces of sand. As he comes back home, he was given another request by Twilight to take the wand out for a field test or in his mind, have fun with the Sand Wand.
Contains heavy details from The Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks, which is owned by Nintendo.
Chapters (1)
Saddle Arabia.. Sand Wand..
Did you love the Aladdin episodes with the Sand Witches as much as I did?
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I wish I can say that I loved those episodes, but I never watched the Aladdin television adaption. If I had watched them, then I would have said yes, and maybe even more than you did.
4054164
A shame. The Aladdin show had some really awesome villains and characters. <3 Sadira the Sand Witch.
This is a thing that intrigues me
Yes
"Dear Princess Celestia,
We have claimed the Badlands as Our own sovereign Empire and wish to extend the claw of friendship and alliance between our two nations. As a token of good will, please surrender the unicorn Rarity to Us to be the first of our Imperial Consorts. You may contact Us at Sand Castle in Our capital, Sandville."
- Emperor Spike, ruler of Spiketopia."
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Don't you love it when a plan comes together? Also, thank you for the fave. I appreciate it.
4054450
Did you enjoy what you read through?
4054661
Its because of this comment that I will read this story.
Spike keeps being referred to "The Being" way too many times. Use more pronouns. Also I don't think its necessary to describe his claws as 'prehensile', since it's not that big a mystery who it is and claws could do just fine.
Beforehoof.
Should candy land be capitalized?
Story had been ok so far, but is it really in character for Twilight to just hand Spike a potentially dangerous artifact like that?
*Reads rest of story*
Hrmm...Well it's kinda just out there. Not much reasoning why Twilight sent Spike to Saddle Arabia other than 'just because'. Spike gets to play with a possibly dangerous artifiact...just because. The three dragon teenagers just happen to find Spike...just because. Spike kicks their butt with sand wand (Link's gonna be pissed when he doesn't find that when he gets to the desert level) and sand wand glows ominously, foreshadowing things to come...just because.
It's not badly written, grammar is good and all, and I'm sure as hell not gonna hate on you for double spacing between sentences, but their just isn't much reason behind this fic. Sand Wand is plot device, but plot device can't do much when their isn't much plot to begin with. So far it's just a story that states: This happened, then this happened, then this happened.
Questions that must be answered: Why is spike out in the desert? She acknowledges Spike is risking his life. Why does she do this? (Give better exposition) What exactly is the purpose of the sand wand? What is the main conflict of the story? No real problem has been presented. Just an event with eerie foreshadowing of a possible problem.
Should be: halfway across the planet from where the dragon was.
I don't think lied is the right word for this, should be something like:
On the table before her lay several-
I think anyways.
Aside from that, this story is excellent! You did a great job with even the tiniest details. I'd tell you to keep it up, or that I look forward to another chapter... But this is a one-shot isn't it. Oh well, it was nice while it lasted!
4068975
I appreciate the criticism greatly. There was something bothering me about the story until I realized that none of the plot elements really made much sense (Well, except for the explanation of the teenaged dragons, but I could have elaborated on why they picked on Spike). Using this information, I shall explain some plot elements of the fic better now that it has been elaborated on without blatantly shoehorning the explanations.
Again, I appreciate it. Imo, I feel that double-spacing makes reading easier on the eyes.
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Np!
4069103
Also, I think that I'll leave that ending ominously open. After all, it does leave a good amount of potential for a sequel fic involving an adventure of Twilight and Daring Do going onto an adventure in order to discover the end of the Hylian Civilization and the beginning of modern Equestria. The Sand Wand would just happen to have large importance for that potential fic.
In fact, if someone wants to, they can write that sequel fic with my full permission (If that is okay with them). The people just need to show me the prepared chapters for publishing if they plan to do so.
4069031
I'm glad that you enjoyed the fic for what it is worth.
4069231
Hmm. Nah. Don't write a sequal fic. Just make another chapter and revise the first one appropriately. I always found it annoying when authors write one shots, then write 'sequals' to their one shots. It's pretty much the same as writing a second chapter, so why not just make it a second chapter?
4069281
It's probably because it involves exploring an entirely different yet related concept. But, what if the 2nd chapter deals about Twilight writing to A.K. Yearling about her findings? As much as I would want to put in a Daring Do and Twilight Sparkle adventure to discover the mysteries that this fic opened up, I don't want to shoehorn a different concept into a fic with an established concept because then it just doesn't work out.
i found that item and man i spammed it a bit to much in places so i'm a dork that love to make messes
...why is this the only adult timeline story onsite?
6174400 If this is anything, I once found a ponyfied version of The Wind Waker called The Legend of Luna. It disappeared, though.
Anyhow, in this fanfic, speech isn't formatted properly. "You should do it like this," demonstrated Nitro Indigo.
Still, I really like the idea that Equestria is a far-future New Hyrule... I'd write a story using that concept, but I have two other big fanfics going on right now (on Fanfiction.net). If I do write one, it probably won't be very long.