• Published 1st Mar 2014
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Urohringr - Imploding Colon



Rainbow Dash and the Noble Jury fly east.

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Mothballed Since Project Blue Buck

"Nnnngh!" Props strained, twisting at a rivet with a large wrench. "Guhh! Mmmffffnngh!" At last, she finished tightening a bulkhead in place. She exhaled, her muzzle producing tiny vapors. With a slight shiver, the blonde mare tightened a cloak over her sweaty figure.

Behind her, one of the doors to the engine room squeaked as it opened.

Props immediately winced. "Sorriez! Loads of sorriez!" She twirled about. "I lost juice for the air conditioning just now! But good news! The skystone should be ready for another test anytime soon—"

"Don't worry about the heating for now," Rainbow Dash said. She trotted lightly across the compartment in her leather coat. "We've got stuff to bundle up with. Besides, I can totally find more of that ice wyrm stuff to help us out in a pinch."

"Oh, totallies. But still... uhm..." Props squirmed, avoiding the pegasus' eyes. "If we're gonna test the skystone engine again, might I suggest you stay inside this time? I mean, I know it's not my place to tell you what to do, Dash-Dash, but the last thing I want is for you to be abandoned again—"

"The test can wait for a bit," Rainbow said.

Props blinked. "Huh?"

Rainbow looked at her. "If we're trying out the skystone, I want us to be heading east as we do it."

"You mean we're... n-not heading east?"

"You picked up that signal from the south, right?"

Props nodded with a gaping muzzle.

"Well, what are you waiting for?" Rainbow nodded towards the wall. "You got the intercom back online yesterday evening, right? Tell Floydien to set a course for the source of the broadcast. Better now than never."

Props stared at her. Her eyes quivered as a slow smile was birthed across her face. Clenching her jaw, she let out a tiny squeal as she flounced over to the intercom.

Rainbow smirked and trotted back the way she came.

"Hey! Hey hey hey! Handsome!" Props chirped into the crystal console. "Guessy whatty! We're going after my Uncle after all! Take us southeast by about sixty degrees from sunrise!"

"Scrkkkk! Just as soon as I get these glimmer boomers out of my sight!"

Rainbow froze, glancing back over her shoulder in mid-trot.

Props blinked. "Uhhhhh..." She leaned her muzzle closer to the intercom. "What glimmer boomers?"


It was black, round, and glossy—with a pair of slender fins jutting out of its stern. The rising sun glinted off the front of the aircraft as it hovered two hundred feet over the northwest waters.

"It certainly looks stabby stabby, from Floydien's circlehood." The elk snorted with a frown from the doorframe to the cockpit. "It's been following Nancy Jane since starlight, about four hours now. Sometimes it glides, other times it just lingers. Like frecklespace. Floydien doesn't like it one bit, especially how it eyes Nancy with unseen eyes of envy spit."

"No balloon... no steam vents... no signs of any sort of obvious propulsion," Props murmured, squinting off the ship's port side.

"Your goggles can't do everything, girl," Rainbow Dash muttered, then turned towards Eagle Eye. "Anything you can see?"

"Uhhhh..." The stallion squinted from where he stood in the middle of the deck. His breath came out in fitful vapors. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say that its bow is actually facing us."

"Really? That big bulbous thing? Looks like a flying dome."

"I know, but... it's hard to make out—but I think I see thin orange lines aimed at us... maybe the cockpit window. I've been staring at the vessel for the last ten minutes, during which we must have traveled several hundreds of meters. I've no doubt it's pivoted to keep facing us directly."

"That's not creepy or anything," Rainbow muttered.

"Whoever it is, they probably have some sort of long range crystalline scanning devices," Props said. "Otherwise they would have swung in for a closer peep show."

"Floydien would have bucked them into their own butt cracks," the elk grumbled.

"Easy there, twinkle toes." Rainbow looked past Eagle Eye. "You recognize this thing at all?"

"Nnnghhh..." Josho rubbed his chin in thought. "Can't say that I do. They sure as Hell ain't Xonan. The tattooed weirdoes are fond of the color blue and serpent designs. Most of their decks are open and exposed so that they can jump from ship to ship and board enemy vessels. But this thing is super crazy. It's like a bowling ball with cake knives sticking out its ass."

"I know it's far away," Eagle Eye thought aloud. "But I can't see any doors, portholes, or windows whatsoever."

"Just the glowing orange stuff, right?" Rainbow asked.

"Yeah, for lack of a better term."

"Maybe they've come to deliver us pumpkins!" Props exclaimed.

Everypony turned to look at her.

She bit her lip, ears drooping as she hugged her cloaked self. "I think I'll be going back into the engine room now..."

"Wait!" Floydien suddenly barked. "Hold your spit!"

"The elk's right!" Josho grumbled. "It's moving!"

"EE, keep your eyes on it!" Rainbow shouted.

Everyone flinched as the vessel spun like a top, twirled, and stopped dead—facing northwest. Half a second later, there was a flash of orange and yellow lights—and the vessel shot off incredibly fast on amber streams.

"Jinkle streams!" Props gasped. "Did you see that?!"

"I absolutely did," Eagle Eye said, exhaling vapors. "Those fins at the back were definitely venting something."

"Like what?" Josho grumbled. "Those ain't like no steam vents I've ever seen!"

"Can you see it anymore?" Rainbow asked.

"No, Rainbow..." Eagle gulped. "It's gone."

"What do you mean it's gone?"

"I mean it's already beyond visual sight!"

"Glimmer runs..." Floydien muttered.

Rainbow flapped her wings. "Perhaps... if I went after it?"

"No offense, color wheel." Josho glanced over. "But that dayum thing is far faster than you."

"The old stallion has a point, Rainbow." Eagle rubbed his eyes and turned to blink at her. "That thing is zooming about freaky quick. Perhaps you should just stay here."

Rainbow sighed out her nostrils as she touched back down. "I'm not a fan of being watched by something we can't... w-watch back."

"Tell Floydien about it," the elk muttered. "It freaks Floydien out everytime."

Rainbow flung him a squinting glance. "You mean this isn't the first time they've been oogling us?"

He shrugged. "Floydien thought he saw black glimmer against the starlight the last two nights, but counted it off to imagination and drowse drowse. Spit you any less? Floydien thinks not."

"At ease. We're not ganking you or anything," Rainbow muttered. "It just ticks me off, is all... out here in the middle of nowhere..."

"Rainbow, you don't suppose..." Eagle's words trailed off.

"Hmmm?"

He gulped. "I mean, the stuff that the Lerringtons talked about. Golden Happenstance especially. You think that maybe these Frozen Wastes aren't quite so... wasted after all?"

"If a bunch of punks were streaking across my lawn, I'd study them real hard before giving them the proverbial smackdown," Josho uttered with a nod. "I'm just saying."

"I really can't imagine anyone claiming ownership of these parts," Rainbow muttered. "As far as I'm concerned, the Frozen Sea belongs to the Ice Wyrms."

"One thing's for sure," Props said with a wince. "That glowy energy we just saw? As the ship jetted away?" She gulped. "That was skystone propulsion."

Rainbow glanced towards the northwest horizon, then back at her. "You sure about that?"

"Pretty sniffing sure."

Rainbow exhaled. The paced about in a slow trot.

Josho and Eagle Eye looked on. "What do you think we should do?" asked the younger.

Rainbow gritted her teeth. "Keep an eye out. Lemme know if they show up again, and then I'll get Floydien to steer back east again."

"Steer back east?" Josho raised an eyebrow. "Are we going somewhere?"

"That we are, buckaroo." Rainbow Dash flapped her wings and darted towards the stairwell. She patted his sweatered shoulder along the way. "Somepony's got an Uncle who's hopefully less dirty than you. So bundle up. It's gonna be a chilly ride."

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