• Published 1st Mar 2014
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Urohringr - Imploding Colon



Rainbow Dash and the Noble Jury fly east.

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Where's the Damned Hint Book?

"What I'm trying to tell you, handsome, is that it's not a matter of Nancy's womb being fried!" Props gulped before speaking across the cockpit. "If we were to take off right now, we'd fly directly into a mess of howling winds! I'm afraid the steam ports aren't enough to stabilize us with that degree of turbulence! All we could do is circle around with the skystone engine at suicidal speeds! And I don't think Nancy Jane's lucky enough to crash land twice in a row without going kersplodey!"

"Well, Floydien isn't a fanatic addict for sitting here and collecting glimmer dust!" Floydien grumbled. "Color Wheel isn't here to help blonde boomer's uncle with an excursion diversion! Floydien needs to get Nancy and the rest of the boomers out of this mess!"

"I'm all with you, but you gotta understand..." Props smiled awkwardly. "Until we can figure out what makes this place tick, there's no sense in making the Nancy Jane tock, ya feel me?"

"Mah niece has got a point, ye hyperactife space elk!" Prowse remarked from where he leaned against the rain-drizzled doorframe to the leaning ship's top deck. "Yoo've got a mighty braw ship haur, but dashin' it tae bits jist coz ye feel a tooch ay th' cramps abit thes waterlogged place doesnae make much sense."

Floydien's red eyes narrowed. "How is it possible for a boomer to exist that spits more sideways than Floydien?"

"Crkkkkk! Hey, guys?!" The sound stone in Props' possession crackled.

"Oh jeezies!" Props hopped in place. "Dashie's calling!" She bellowed out the doorframe. "Hey guys! Dashie's got something to say!" Hoofsteps galloped closer as the mare leaned back against a crooked wall and spoke into the stone being cradled between her hooves. "Rainbow? Propsy here. What's new?"

"I wouldn't call it 'new,' exactly. But old. Super... super old..."

Josho trotted up with Pilate leaning against the stallion's side. "Go on ahead, Rainbow," he said with a slight shudder. "We're all ears."

"Well, for one thing, I've found a bunch of crashed ships."

Josho's face scrunched. "Like what kind of ships?"

"Everything you can imagine. Steam-powered, skystone, regular zeppelins. A whole bunch of them look smashed to all heck, not to mention pretty dang old. I think this floating city's been collecting aircraft from the Flurries for a crazy long time."

"Ah kent it!" Prowse sneered through clenched teeth. "Zabubadabu isnae naethin' tae play aroond wi'! It explains wa sae mony ships disappeared in th' depths ay these bludy freezin' cloods!"

"I didn't find any ponies, though. I mean, with that many ships, you'd think there'd at least be some bodies lying around."

"In an environment as inhospitable as this, I highly doubt any ponies would have survived for long," Pilate said in a cold tone. "The same could be said of their corpses."

Props shuddered at that.

"Other than that, I've seen more evidence of Commander Hurricane having lived here. Granted, that would have been several thousands of years ago."

"Astoondin', isnae it?" Prowse grinned. "Thes place was ance a haven fur flyin' ponies! Aam tellin' ye, we've struck gauld!"

"Yes, and we've got the proverbial concussion to prove it!" Josho frowned. "Say, Rainbow, have you found any thing that can get us off these floating sky turds?"

"No, but I have found a bunch of murals that must have once illustrated the world from the perspective of those who built this place. A lot of the images are missing. I've got a theory or two behind that, but nothing to go on. Oh, and I kinda sorta found something else... something big..."

Pilate's metal brow furrowed. "What kind of something?"


Rainbow Dash stood before the large wall, staring up at the intricate lines forming the circular patterns above her.

"It's a very large pattern," she said. "Imagine a large circle, only it's sliced up into twelve pieces. And—like—there are two smaller circles just like it, one inside another. Three large segmented circles total. And between the joints of the twelve different plates, there are these small spheres, set on the inside curve of the broken circles."

All was wind and howling...

And then Pilate's voice replied, "Twelve segments to each circle, you say?"

Prowse's voice crackled on the other end. "Is thaur supposed tae be some sort ay bloomin' significance tae 'at?"

"It falls into a pattern that we've observed since our journey from Blue Shelf began. Rainbow Dash, it would seem, has ties to a long-forgotten history that is stored within the machines that lay hidden in the belly of this earth. Both Rainbow and my beloved have experienced visions of a world—far larger than the one we live in—that is made up of twelve separate parts, like portions of an enormous ring."

"Bludy heel. ur ye tryin' tae suggest 'at thes city is a key tae a prehistoric genesis?"

"Well, you could argue that Rainbow herself serves such a purpose. I can't possibly comprehend what connection this floating city might have."

Props' voice lit up. "Maybe it was built by flying ponies, much like Dashie and the old Equestrians who apparently found it once upon a time?"

"I've got an even stupider question," Rainbow Dash said, eyeing the circles within circles. "Given what you, me, and Belle have learned so far, Pilate, just why would I be looking at three broken rings inside of one another?" She gulped. "I was only ever aware of one ring."

All was silent on the other end.

"I do not know, Rainbow," Pilate's voice said. "We have to consider the likelihood that, in spite of all the visions and truths we have encountered, there is still a great deal we have yet to learn and understand."

"I didn't fly all this way to get another migraine."

"Neither did any of us. I must admit that my curiosity abounds, but I suspect we have more pressing concerns."

"I couldn't learn much on my lonesome anyways," Rainbow Dash said, squinting at the wall between the spheres and lines. "I see a whole bunch of words carved into the stone here."

"What kind of words?" Josho's voice said.

"To be perfectly frank, they look... Xonan," Rainbow said. "Or Xonanese?"

"Better yet, perhaps the same ancient language that the Xonans based their dialect on," Pilate said. "Belle and Phoenix witnessed that when they first met Kera and she saw the book of runes you found."

"Yeah..." Rainbow sighed. "Too bad the poor scamp's on the fritz. I wouldn't mind having an adoracute living cheat sheet in my pocket."

"Yes, well..." Pilate's voice took a breath. "We must make do with what we have..."

"Or what we don't have," Rainbow muttered quietly.

"Hey Dashie!" Props' voice chimed. "Not that we're in a hurry to get out of this scary mess before we all die of drowning, aphyxiation, or madness... but any chance you can try and find the energy source of what's keeping us here in the eye of the storm?"

"Right..." Rainbow Dash nodded and turned away from the wall of carvings. "I saw some corridors leading into the heart of the largest building where I'm at. I'll go do some exploring and keep in touch."

"Just be careful, ya paint bucket!" Josho's voice grumbled.

"Heh... you know me..." Rainbow's nostrils flared as she trotted back the way she came. "Of course I won't..."

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