• Member Since 29th Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen Jan 12th, 2019

D G D Davidson

D. G. D. is a science fiction writer and archaeologist. He blogs on occasion at www.deusexmagicalgirl.com.


Abstract: In his final and most personal monograph, a prolific and widely celebrated ethnologist and hippologist describes the customs of the Little Ponies (sp. Equus parvus) related to courtship and matrimony. Topics covered include sudden-onset equine infatuation (SOEI), typical courtship behaviors, the prominent role of the equine matchmaker, and the rituals of equine marriage.

But this study moves beyond a mere description of pony culture. It reflects also on the interactions between pony and human—and on what those interactions mean for the future of the human race.

Featured on Equestria Daily!

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 99 )

One last parting gift, huh? Is this set in chronoverse, or is it its own thing?

Hopefully the manuscript isn't so incomplete that this is all there is of it. :trollestia:

I have a bad feeling about this poor man's fate. :raritydespair: Hopefully I am wrong.

Fascinating. Even bearing in mind the upcoming delay, I look forward to more.

Very interesting so far. I love the academic style of writing. Can't wait for more. :)

Most interesting. I am enjoying how you are analyzing both pony and human mating practices, and your nods to fan ideas - Lyra interested in humans, humans wishing to get romantic with ponies. The notion that "love at first sight" is normal and expected is intriguing, and I hope we find out something about how the Love Poison's effect differs from the norm.
Here's hoping you decide to carry on with this after your hiatus. Or during, I'm not picky. :scootangel:

Maybe this is just my super-nerdy side talking, but I love fics like this.

More please!

Highly enjoyable. How does Rarity's planned campaign on the virtue of Prince Blueblood fit into this? And what lonely fate awaits young Spike?

My money says Davidson is swimming with the seaponies.


Yeah, he probably got murdered along with all of the guys at the group- it'd be an easy enough mistake for a lynch mob and its instigators to make.

Or maybe he read an incomplete book about seaponies, and one of them agreed to be interviewed, snared him, and did away with him like the sirens of old.

Now you are just teasing us.

I will say I don't want to live in this world where inter racial love can't happen. So sad.

I'm pretty sure I can see how this story arc goes from here, but I'll tag along for the ride just to see the scenery. :pinkiehappy:

Oh my god.

Rarity looks....high...in the picture.

I love it :moustache:

Figure 1 is a broken link, FYI.

At first it seemed overly clinical, but it got more enjoyable towards the end.

So does this belong in the Coalition for More Horse-Like Ponies group?


Hmm, fig. 1 is showing up for me, even on a different device. Try refreshing the page and tell me if you still can't see it.

4015136 Well, I tried two different browsers, a second device, and downloading the HTML and got no luck. I also tried going directly to the image URL and that came up as a 404. Either way, there's something strange going on.

Also, I'm not really up on my species naming conventions. Should parvus in the title be capitalized because it's part of a title, or not?

Interesting. You have my attention, to say the least.


I'll check other machines, but I don't know what I'd do about it. As for the capitalisation, Linnaean taxonomy trumps other conventions. It should be italicized, too, but FIMFic won't let me.

Of course, even hopeless love aches to be announced, so they had invited me here to commiserate with them and perhaps, as one of them told me, to “spare a footnote* in your book for the likes of us.”

Oh, for such unrequited passion! But alas, it was not meant to be. :raritycry:

*This footnote is dedicated to the Brotherhood of Mare Lovers.

Looks like Twilight only called him in because his research was personal to her, not the fact that he was breaking any rules.
At first glance it seems pony love is shallow compared to human courtship, but there is more to it then that. The factor that our researcher has failed to take into account is magic. Magic runs everything in that world. So when they look at each other for long periods I theorize that they are in fact connecting on a magical bio-rhythmic level. Something is pulling the puppet strings in their mundane rudimentary life. So when these humans try to date a pony, it doesn't work because the magic is not there...or at least not in the human.

Some bad is going to happen to Mr Davidson. It's like Lovecraft. He/You are getting too close to.... something.


Though at the same time they seem quite very rude about it.

4017907 Well, that explains it. :raritywink:

I'm...well, not exactly an admirer, but impressed by her work as well. The grimness does get a bit much if not taken in small doses.


He certainly has done a better job at making something disconcerting than a lot of dark fics I've seen.

Also disconcerting is his apparently unintentional courting of Lyra. It's his job to pay attention to cultural reactions. Is he just oblivious to his own actions? Or is it something more sinister at work, subtly manipulating events to some horrifying conclusion?

I think that is the joke. The guy is oblivious despite how smart he likes to think he is.
Ponies are rude. Haven't you seen the show? They can be absolute pricks to their friends.

I keep having to check for the [Dark] tag on this thing.

For his callous disregard of potential implications of his actions the protagonist has been sentenced to an eternal tea party with the remnants of Nightmare Moon who now go by the communal name Miss Bunny Wunny Snugglekins.

I really hope this story isn't leading up to a terrible horse pun as its conclusion.


I say this big. http://starbat.deviantart.com/art/Williams-Family-Comparative-Heights-430042937

Although I've heard many different interpretations. Some prefer to think of them as half that size, more like average dog-sized, while others might even consider them a little larger, more like real ponies.

I'm loving the academic style of this story. It's funny how a kid's show can inspire such intellectual speculation.

I was especially intrigued by the "staring intently in the eyes for protracted periods" behavior for courting ponies. If visual cues and eye contact are so critical for the initiation of the mating process, then it can become a basis for sexual selection. I've sometimes wondered what could be a scientific explanation for the proportionally large orbits of these fictional ponies, considering they would not need enhanced eyesight for nocturnal navigation, as they are clearly daytime creatures. But if large, expressive eyes are a significant factor in mating success, then clearly this offers an alternate hypothesis for how a species of equine could have developed such large eyes.

Also, I've only just recently read the main series comics, so I much appreciated those references to the bookworm and the mermare. ;)

Although ponies have large and decidedly expressive eyes—Miss Heartstrings especially so—and though her pale yellow irises glistened like gold in the dimness, I learned nothing from this exercise.

Oh, I'd say we learned something.


This story isn't in my "Chronoverse," as I'm trying to hew as closely as I can to canonical material, but I envision them about the size of Shetland ponies, that is, big enough to deserve to be called ponies.


My own degrees are in anthropology. If I try to put an anthropologist or ethnologist in my stories, he will almost inevitably end up being a clueless windbag. There is no man on Earth more blithely unaware of how real people actually think and act than an anthropologist with his theories.


Oh, forgot to say: yes, I can't call myself an admirer of Tiptree either. Her worldview and her final actions were horrid. But I do respect her talent, and I appreciate some of her stories. One of them counts among my all-time favorites.

There may also be some relationship between nose-rubbing and the practice of mutual grooming with the lips and incisors, which is still common amongst Arabians, but which most ponies, aside from a small coterie of primitivists, consider deviant (Davidson 1765:78).

Ouch. The MGS is not going to like that...

I have to say, at times the tone of scientific detachment borders on the almost sociopathic. I mean...

She closed her eyes, and a few tears squeezed out from between her eyelids.

She said nothing else of interest, so after a few further pleasantries, I took my leave.

Yeah. :twilightoops:

That being said, "bacchic functionary" is a fantastic technical term for the minor chaos avatars that call themselves party planners. A dose of the Dionysian in an otherwise appallingly Apollonian society.
(Also, I didn't know Pinkie had acquired the Morph Ball.)

The more I hear about Lovestruck, the more intrigued I am. Especially the line about her being "one of Cadence's." Is that just figurative, or is there some kind of investment procedure?

In any case, eagerly looking forward to more.

I noticed something. When talking about the humans you've only mentioned males and the problems they've had with mares. Aren't there any cases of females trying to date stallions? I know this is grey area leaning towards red but this story is different from what I've read before and find myself genuinely curious.

4020135 According to Twilight in the Hearths Warming episode Scootaloo is about four feet from hoof to ear.

4020670 I like that it adds a fear factor to the cuteness

Of course. I was just commenting on how they'll dislike being called a small coterie of primitivists. Probably the "small" part more than anything.

So far this is at the opposite end of the spectrum as far as pony infatuation with humans is concerned. It's a different take to be sure, I suppose that's why I find it interesting. Even so I side with what one of the humans said about it being odd that no human has been meet with success. Since their world is inhabited with other sapient's unlike our own, the common theory is that they'd naturally be more open to interspecies relationships, while humans would be more adverse to it.

I suppose this is just writers projecting human traits into that of ponies, something you seem to be trying to break the mold of. Either way it's still a fun read, carry on.

So, if everything is in the gaze, how do visually impaired ponies find their special muffin?


the common theory is that they'd naturally be more open to interspecies relationships, while humans would be more adverse to it.

I admit that, too me, that really does sound backwards. We don't see that in the animal world aside from some hybridization within a genus. If we are merely talking about biological adaptations, then I would expect adaptations to survive and thrive that were adapted toward reproduction rather than away from it.

Well, she's not wrong, except in the bit where she somehow assumes that having the talent to manipulate these things gives her the authority to. It's quite refreshing.

Reminds me of a changeling. Surprised that they haven't come up in his notes.
Anyway, time for her to panic when something goes wrong. Ponies are hardly known for their mental capabilities when things go south, and she's now due for a breakdown.

I feel pretty confident in saying that, if this was actually how ponies acted, I'd have absolutely nothing to do with 'em.

I paused, lowered my pen, and said, “Are you some sort of prosti—?”

What are you an idiot?! And no, you do not go into a lady's parlor! That's an obvious trap!

And she is a shipper! The most horrible of all beings!

Obviously when she asked him about Lyra. Them shipping goggles are tight on her head.

“Are you some sort of prosti—?”

Jeez. This "Dr. Davidson" really has no tact...

Well, this story seems to have evolved from a kind of academic analysis of Equestrian romantic psychology, into something more resembling a traditional story, now with a villain apparently. It's somewhat not what I was expecting, but it's definitely getting interesting.

Login or register to comment