• Member Since 23rd May, 2013
  • offline last seen 46 minutes ago

Holocron


Gaze within the Holocron, and see what stories it has to tell. For every fable is but a thread in the weave of tales.

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To please her subjects, or at least not scare the flank of them, Princess Luna has decided to seek therapy. That and she has many problems she hasn't spoken about in over a thousand years. that's a lot of accumulated stress.

Inspired by Biker_Dash

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 14 )

I am curious about how I inspired this fic... my only guess is you saw one of my rages somewhere :facehoof:

Good job with the characters and pacing, but I felt as though this story was building up to something. Unfortunately the ending was a little anticlimactic as the gag was a bit contrived and didn't match up to the expectations that the rest of the story laid out.

All in all it was good. I just expected more out of it.

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You left a comment here.
I decided to give it a try. I do hope you enjoyed the story. :twilightsmile:

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I also noticed how rushed I made it and how it looked like it was building to something bigger, but I was trying to challenge myself. And well "You can't write good stories without banging out a few meh ones."
Even I'm giving this a 7/10. But still worth reading and having a laugh here and there. :twilightsmile:

It's a fun read but I feel like Luna would probably unleash a big flaming, shining meteor from the sky out of enthusiasm.:twilightsheepish:

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If I get enough demands/requests, I see no problem in making a quick bonus chapter showing what Luna does :rainbowlaugh:

3979691 Ok... I had forgotten the challenge request you made.
It justwas a bunch of circumstantial coincidences on my end that when I saw that, my depressive mind saw something else.

You did a good job with this fic. I enjoyed it. :twilightsmile:

It wasn't very good; you should keep writing.

I stayed up all night to catch the new episode, so I'm too tired to be tactful. This is just a list of my thoughts

Ditch the colors
And the font sizes
Never use a "/" in prose
Avoid using synonyms of "said"
Twilight as Luna's therapist works
"..........." the fuck is that?
"!!!!!!!!!!!" that too
Those embeds are intrusive
The conflict was resolved too simply. It made Luna seem dumb

It looks like you came from writing forum posts to writing fiction without ever realizing there are different rules. Basically, drop the gimmicks, and show, don't tell. Take out as many words as you can while still having it make sense.

Don't give up though. You're probably halfway to being decent. Just keep reading and writing and take criticism seriously.

Not exactly how we originally laid it out, but hey I like surprises, and this version is much more up beat to the first. I normally don't do this, but here, have a mustache. :moustache:

:pinkiehappy:
stream1.gifsoup.com/view5/2181148/jim-carrey-pull-moon-o.gif
Hahahaha! Classics are fun.:rainbowlaugh:
Does this mean more dark knight/night Luna?:pinkiecrazy:

This is intersting... Though, I'd love to had seen some more struggle with the story. Its good, Though i'd liked to have seen more interaction... Make it a bit longer, Add a bit more detail. Have her in session more. Perhaps she is talking about all of this in one sitting but after each chapter it goes back to luna complaining about how she tried but messed up and how she became Batmare and did something crazy and ended up messing something up or something...

I think it would make for an intersting idea.

This story is good for a short oneshot though.

Tiberius must be smiling now.

Ha! Ha! This was a nice sleep story, thanks.

"Thank you Twilight Sparkle." Luna got off the couch, a new found smile on her muzzle. "We will try this! Thank you again!"

You don't have to be a genius to know that this will end badly

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