• Member Since 23rd May, 2013
  • offline last seen 4 hours ago

Holocron


Gaze within the Holocron, and see what stories it has to tell. For every fable is but a thread in the weave of tales.

E

Chrysalis has reached that age when she needs to go out to Equestria and feed on the love of another pony. But how will she manage to get her first bite of love?
Inspired by Mr101

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 15 )

That was simply adorable! :pinkiehappy:

that pic, it's SO ADORABLE!

4353470
Wanted to take a small break from my clop and action and try my hand at adorable
Thank you :pinkiehappy:

I'm guessing obsidian passed away some time before the invasion

Shame, maybe they wouldn't have lost...or maybe they wouldn't have invaded at all.

I always say that Fluttershy, Luna, and Derpy are best pony. In that order. No exceptions.(because they are all cuter than a basket full of kittens). But now I have to edit that list.
Fluttershy, Luna, Derpy, and filly Chrysalis are best pony. In that order. No exceptions.

Hmmm I would like to see a story where she goes out trying to find love. Like... hunting for it and trying to find out where it came from.. Cuteness insues....

But this was still pretty good....

Short, sweet, adorable enough to give heart attacks, and a very amazing example of "Keep it simple, stupid" type of fics? I'm all for it!!:pinkiehappy:

"Does it also make loud noises from parents' chambers?" Chrysalis innocently asked

I died laughing from this:rainbowlaugh:

Aww Metamorphosis really has a soft spot for wittle Chwyssy and yes baby Chrysalis is super adorable Chrysalis:rainbowkiss:

So very cute :rainbowkiss: Also

imsorryihadto :pinkiehappy:

4415159
Just imagine the entire changeling hive breaking out into this song. :rainbowlaugh:

Hugs for you

Ah...
It's cute...
but...
spelling and grammar errors...
interrupting the cute...
I'll help you, story!

"But she wouldn't have listened if I tried you usual tone with her."

*your

"I can get some on my one like a big changeling.

*own

"Does t also make loud noises from parents' chambers?"

*it

How am I gonna face mu-

I assume she's about to say "Mum" or "Mummy", so that m needs to be capitalized.

D'awww. Wittle baby Chrysalis is learning how to survive and grow up to invade entire world capitals :twilightsmile:
I wish Chrysalis would've been a bit more... childish, I guess. I wish she had more personality. Most of this story was her being a stereotypical spoiled child, then a stereotypical innocent child, then just straight out unrealistic.

"I slept great." Chrysalis yawned in a cute manner. "But I didn't get love. How am I gonna face mu-"

That...doesn't happen. At all. No one wakes up and starts stating facts. She's pretty much making sure the reader knows the plot at this point. "This is bad. This is a conflict. My mom will be upset. While my nap was good, it was temporary and did not do me much good."
...Okay, it wasn't that bad, but honestly, can you see where this kinda...puts the reader off?
Yeah, you get it.

I'm sorry, that was mostly my inner editor talking. I'm used to people coming to me for help with their work and then taking whatever I have to say and treating it like gospel. ...it's probably bad for my ego. I apologize if I've offended you/your fic/your style/whatever. Take my advice or don't, I don't really care. I would recommend fixing general spelling and grammar errors, though.

Good day and good health!

6268641
Thank you, I generally don't ask editors for help. I tend to have the content speak for my story before Grammar and Spelling does. This story was written almost a year ago so I do hope I have improved since then. But I am glad you enjoyed my work. :twilightsmile:

*clutches chest* Ohh good, the d'awwww. *collapses*

Cya
Raziel-chan

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