“All right, are you ready, AB?” shouted Scootaloo, cupping a hoof over her mouth as she shouted down at her two friends. “I’m itchin’ to do this.”
Apple Bloom brought down the hammer on a wide nail, driving it the final few centimeters into the rickety wood ramp. Spitting the hammer out, she looked up at Scootaloo and nodded. “Yep, s’ready as it’s ever gon’ be… I think.” She gave the ramp an exploratory kick. It shook a bit, but didn’t fall. “I’unno, but it seems steady enough. You probably won’t die horribly, but I ain’t makin’ any guarantees. AJ always said to never make promises ya can’t keep.”
“Yeah, whatever, as long as it holds for at least one jump, I’m calling it a success,” said Scootaloo, waving her hoof dismissively. “All I need to do is break the Ponyville jump record once, and then my name will go down in history as the greatest jumper to ever live.”
“I mean…” Apple Bloom scratched the back of her head with a screwdriver. “If ya’ll wanna call it ‘history’, then whatever, but really you’re just gettin’ your name scratched into the inside of the tube at the playground.”
Scootaloo puffed out her chest proudly. “That’s good enough for me!”
Apple Bloom shrugged. “Whatever you say, Scoots.”
“All right, Sweets,” said Scootaloo, turning her gaze to the napping filly in the adirondack chair. “You ready to start the countdown?”
Stirring from her nap, Sweetie Belle yawned. “Sure, whatever.”
“Sweet…” Scootaloo tightened the straps on her helmet, pulled her goggles down, and then gave a confident smirk. “Let’s wreck this sh—”
Before Scootaloo could finish, the ramp completely caved in on itself in a spectacularly flashy crash that left the squished between two planks of wood, with nails impaling her on every side. Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle stood in silence for a moment, then glanced at each other.
Sweetie Belle sighed, rolling out of the chair and stretching out her hooves. “Welp, I guess we better go get her, huh?”
“Guess so,” replied Apple Bloom.
The fillies turned away, leaving Scootaloo’s limp body amidst the pile of rubble. As they walked down the street, towards the edge of town, Apple Bloom frowned. “Hey, do you ever think about how little we care that Scootaloo dies a bunch? I mean, don’t it seem kinda weird? Did we just get used to it at some point? Is it something we should get used to? No matter how you look at, our friend’s still dyin’, so maybe we should care more.”
Sweetie Belle stopped, putting her hoof on Apple Bloom’s shoulder. “Apple Bloom, there are a lot of things in this world that don’t make sense, and Scootaloo’s apparent immortality is one of those things. You can’t read too much into this stuff, y’know? You’ll drive yourself crazy thinking about it. Scootaloo dies a bunch, and that’s that. If you start assigning meaning to it… you’re gonna have a bad time.”
“I guess,” said Apple Bloom, kicking at the dirt. “Still though, maybe we should do more to help her?”
“Help her how?” shot back Sweetie, raising her eyebrow. “What do you think you could do to help Scootaloo? Clearly the universe wants her dead, but something else wants her alive, so she’s stuck in an endless loop… or something. I really have no idea. Either way, what does it matter?”
“It does matter, doesn’t it?” said Apple Bloom, unsure of the answer herself.
“Look, until Scootaloo says that she wants help trying to solve this mess—if that’s even possible—there’s no point in trying figure it out, so don’t bother.” Sweetie Belle took her hooves off Apple Bloom’s shoulder and started walking again. “For now, all we can do is keep on living our lives as normally as we can. Scootaloo seems content enough as it is, so there’s no need to go changing the status quo.”
“So, what? We jus’ leave things how they are? We go on lettin’ Scootaloo die over and over again?”
Sweetie Belle shrugged. “Yep.”
Pursing her lips, Apple Bloom hesitated a moment, then nodded. “Well, all righty then. In that case, let’s go get Scoota—”
“Whoo hoo hoo!” cried a familiar voice, interrupting Apple Bloom. The house next to them exploded into a shower of splinters as a massive three-headed dog burst through it, with Scootaloo riding on its back. She was holding on to its collar with one hoof, and waving the other in the air wildly. “Whoa ho ho there, Cerby. Don’t kill my friends too, heh.” Scootaloo fluttered her wings and hopped off the giant dog, landing next to Sweetie and AB. “Sup guys, Cerberus here decided to give me a ride back this time so I wouldn’t have to walk. It’s a heck of a long way to Tartarus, y’know?”
“We know,” said Sweetie Belle, chuckling. “It’s not like we’ve never picked you up.”
Suddenly, a second familiar voice appeared. “Cerberus? He’s supposed to be guarding the gates of Tartarus! This must be the disaster!”
“Is that Twilight?” asked Apple Bloom.
“Sounds like it,” replied Sweetie Belle.
“The only disaster here is that I didn’t get my goodbye kiss from Cerberus,” said Scootaloo sadly. She watched as Twilight led the massive dog away from the town and back towards Tartarus. “I really love that guy. Nicest dog you’ll ever meet.” She paused a moment. “Three heads are a bit off putting, I’ll admit. Cool guy though.”
“Hey, Scootaloo,” said Sweetie Belle. Scootaloo turned around, and Sweetie smiled. “You know we love you, right?”
Laughing, Scootaloo wrapped her hooves around Sweetie and AB, pulling them into a tight hug. “‘Course I know that. I love you guys, too.”
Goddamn... this may be the most meta chapter I've written.
4768383
I'd be more worried about what will happen once you eventually decide to do the "Scootaloo doesn't die" chapter and everypony at the end is trying to figure out why something feels wrong after everything is said and done.
So that's why Cerberus left his post!
So wait...Scootaloo's been walking back from Tartarus every single time? Yikes.
Scoots was really ramped up for success.
Unfortunately, she wasn't aware of how bad at planking she actually was.
That being said, I was hoping you'd Season 4 us and promise us something of a "season-long" story arc, only to hoinkle it into what seemed like an ending where you were reaching to tie everything together.
You know, kinda like I Am Legend.
4768444
That would explain part of why it takes her so long to get back after every death.
I fully agree with Scoots on Cerberus, he seems like a great fellow to have around!
Also if she keeps walking from Tartarus every single time then imagine how athletic she must be by now thanks to the distances.
Dat South Park reference.
I just watched that episode yesterday and nearly died. Gets me every time.
Haven't read this just yet, but It is sounding like scootaloo is taking the role of Kenny.
Kenny from South Park.
I'm mean, Kenny wears an orange coat. Scootaloo wears an orange coat. Kenny dies without realizing it. Scootaloo dies without realizing it.
4768395 He did that a couple days ago.
4768825
Actually scootaloo seems pretty aware she dies, the fact people notice and talk about it is different.
Can't get much more metal than riding a giant three-headed hellhound from the depths of Tartarus after being brutally impaled with hundreds of nails and wooden boards.
I'm just wondering if Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom aren't betting a little...
board... with how often Scoots gets killed.
So, Scootaloo is responsible for Tirek escaping? Figures.
4769179
First Discord, now Tirek? Is this going to turn into a thing? Will Acootaloo be responsible for the changeling invasion and Sombra's release too?
4769279 Seems probable.
Desensitization towards death is worrisome, but this is meant to be a lighthearted, if morbid, story. Thinking too much about the consequences can make one forget that for Scootaloo, there really aren't any.
I do like how you're using Season 2 to explore the concept of the story. I look forward to more.
4768444
Oh, it's not far. Twilight was able to make a round trip in an afternoon.
4769279
Scootaloo(and her respawn point) would probably be the target of a changeling invasion. They could drain her to death over and over and over.
4769558
Well, it looks like her respawn point is in Tartarus, and I doubt the changelings want to go there. But other than that, I think it's a great idea!
4768864
Damn, guess I'm farther behind in reading this than I thought!
4769685 Where do you think the changelings live?
4769829
Well, they probably would have noticed her if they lived in Tartarus, and there definitely wouldn't be any need for an invasion.
Wait. What if Scootaloo is a changeling, and every time she dies, they just send a new one out to take her place?
left the squished
the = her
4769847 And she remembers everything because of the hive mind?
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
I'TS OVER
I LOVED IT
ITS TUESDAY
4770250
Exactly.
And all the love she's getting from her parents, Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and occasionally Rainbow Dash is keeping the hive fed. But eventually, Chrysalis will decide that sending out a replacement every few days is too expensive, and will just invade Canterlot instead.
4772682 Yes it is
4770274
What's over? WHERE?!
It's still incomplete.
Did I miss something?
4768444
Meh, it's good for the cardio
I wonder if she met Tirek on her way back
Ah, Scoots! That's why we love you. being so metal you're copper!
4773875
latelly the autor missed some scheduled updates; since some people are born with the special talent of jump to conclusion disregarding al notion given to them....
Wonder what they do with the bodies. I'm imagining the Springfield Tire Fire, but with Scootaloos instead.
Wow, it looks like I posted that comment forty chapters too early. Except, Cerberus isn't so much Scoot-obtuse as he is Scoota-loose. Is she like his pet or something? Great, now I'm thinking of the massive gates of Tartarus with a swinging pet door in them just for her.
This is the Author's form of exposition.
Doesn't anyone find it disconcerting that Scootaloo ends up in Tartarus - the realm of punishment and fire - every time she dies? Think about it... she constantly gets sent to Hell
Poor Scootaloo... guess she'll never see Elysium.. or even those pokey Fields over in Asphodel.
4819415
...Do you think they just leave them be? I mean, everypony seems unconcerned about Scoots dying so much thataybe they don't care about the mess?
Roll credits.
Daaw!
Can't believe no one caught that undertale reference
7605413
I might be wrong, but I’m pretty sure it’s a south park reference (Assuming you’re talking about the bad time line)