5202042
pft, a couple he says.

i love you so much.... now time for some incest. let applejack pull big.mac with her new looks. (by mistake but grows to love having him around) come on...if not.i dont really care this is all up to you. ill follow you to the end of the world. just make sure you put the next part here so i can get at it right away

5700616
No Big Mac and Applejack incest is going to happen sorry

5700648 as you wish my lord

I am confused as to what Asmodeus gave them before departing. I assume Rainbow can now sense a specific or range of emotions, which makes me wonder what AJ and Twilight recieved. Hmm....

Great story and I look forward to the sequels. I'm intrigued as to what their gifts are.
As for what I would like to see in the sequels, I would like to see the new "lessons" Celestia has planed for Twilight and to see their relationship grow.

5700857
I'll explain it later in the sequels but basically it gives them the abilities of a succubus in a diluted form. Seduction, stamina, intuition, etc.
5700949
That's what I was going for!
5700979
I said that because for some reason I can't write a Pinkie-ship. I don't have a problem reading them, but writing? I don't know. Hopefully I can figure out something later.

5701024
Asmodeus leaves in the end. There isn't a romance tag for a reason.

I was a bit pissed that this ended on this note, since I thought that it would end with Twi summoning Asmodeus with some permanency spell that would make him live there happily ever after, not Dash getting with Soarin'. But then I saw this:

....wanted to see in one of the sequels, what....

All of my yes.

5701427
Asmodeus will not leave Tartarus either permanently or a significant amount of time. This was a decision that I really thought about and went back and forth on it for a while. But, I eventually decided that he wouldn't. This ending has been decided on for a while now, but I really am sorry to dissapoint. That being said, he will be coming back in the sequels, so don't worry about that.

Asmodeus: It's Hard to accept his statement "it's not in my existence to feel love," Accepting his position/curse as an archdemon is easy, if that's the case why'd he care enough about the three to give them a means to contact him. i think the better term is to say he has the immortal curse, he wants to make them happy but, he will remain after their gone and doesn't want to face heart ache. Your right Romance is Not there,(on one side) But Love was. So that's my stance.

I loved this story from begining to end, I'd love to see more, be it sequel, prequel , or whatever, when Original Characters are as well writen as Asmodeus, you don't want to see them go away.

5701877
When I was coming up with Asmodeus, a large portion of my thought process was on how to give the Lord of Lust, a pony(demon) whos existence is literally to be the perfect mate, a flaw. Originally that was my plan, the "Immortal's curse" as it were, but that didn't last very long. Firstly, it was too cliche, and without being extremely well written cliches generally tend to fall a bit flat. And lets be honest, the last thing I wanted was an OC of mine to be poorly made. Moving on with the cliche bit, it would be far to easy to solve that problem, readers(at least in my mind) would start going "come on man, let the short time you together be enjoyed to its fullest!" and other derivatives of that. I instead wanted the readers to sympathize with Asmodeus instead of get frustrated with him, seeing his interactions with Twilight, Rainbow, and Applejack and know just how easy it would be for them to fall in love but never being able to take that step. We all know that feeling when we really like someone, that feeling you get deep in your chest, but when you try to tell the person or explain it to someone it just doesn't come out. Thats the feeling I decided I wanted convey, Asmodeus has that feeling constantly, for some mares stronger than others, but there is no release to that pressure. once again trying to get the readers to sympathize with him. It also gives Asmodeus a reason to do what he does. Setting ponies up, putting them on the right track to find love, trying to experience love at least by proxy. As Celestia said, "This is his greed, his obsession." its his reason for living as long as he did. Celestia's is her ponies and Equestria, so yeah Asmodeus' is selfish, but then again, he is a demon. The years he spent love drunk was an allusion to someone drinking alot to avoid their problems, it allows someone to escape for a moment, but once they come down the problem hasn't gone away. You said "Your right Romance is Not there,(on one side) But Love was." and thats true, but sadly, like all the other ponies who fell in love with Asmodeus over the years, its is ultimately doomed to end in heartache.

Not to mention the fact that Celestia and Luna are immortal, or at least appear to be (the actual answer is irrelevant to this discussion). So why would he not form a relationship with them? Its been stated that he has known them for centuries, and forgive me if I didn't make it clear enough, Celestia was at one point(and to a certain extent still is) deeply in love with him. But over the years recognized the impossibility of him ever returning her love, so she took what she could get from him. Thats why I had her tell TS, AJ, and RD about Asmodeus' past rather then Luna. Luna herself sees Asmodues as a good friend, with benefits of course, but doesn't see him in a truly romantic sense. I also tried to show the differing feelings that TS, AJ, and RD had for him throughout the story. Twilight, much like Celestia, wanted him in a romantic sense. AJ was happy with a friend's with benefits relationship, and Rainbow was somewhere in between.

This did get very wordy , but yea, those are my thoughts.

5702044 Don't worry about being wordy dude. it was very informative. Though i hinted at something in my last comment I'll ask them now,
Will Asmodeus return in other Writings?
Will you be writing more in this universe you've made.

5702084
Asmodeus will definitely return in my later stories, maybe not to such a prominent part, but he will be there. I like him to much to forget about him.
And my Sparity fic here is also in this universe. As well as the vast majority of the other stories I write later.

i LOVE THE ENDING! and i forgot about caps lock, and I am too lazy to change it but not lazy enough to not write out this sentence.

5700999 SEQUELS!!! Yesss!!! You Are Awesome!

5701533 Nonono dude, I thought that it was ENDING. Like, Dash turns into the mother of all sexy people and gets asked out by Soarin', Asmodeus leaves, they all get some fancy paintwork. The end.

But it's NOT. And this makes me happy. Very happy, indeed. I look forward to the sequels, good sir, and if they are anywhere near as good as this was, I am sure that I will enjoy them immensely. As long as there are sequels, you have not disappointed at all.

Good day, sir.

*tips fedora and vanishes in a puff of smoke*

That was fun. Looking forward to more.
Keep up the good work.

What you did right? the entire story. the clop was great and the world building made it even better
What could you work on? the sequels
The only way i can see of improving asmodeus is with more of his back story, which is coming anyway.
Favorite scene? "two words twi, Magic cock."
As for the sequel? (or sequels?) More of that same and perhaps some Trixie

Adorkable Dash is adorkable.

A realy great clop fic.
Awesome story.
And sexy clop screnes.

5744559
Sequels are coming! Don't despair!

But I'm honestly happy that you're enjoying(enjoyed) my fic, always a nice thing to hear.

Followed, you incredible writer, you. Cannot wait for your sequel!

5791151
Thank you
But, there are two other stories in this universe I wrote, well, one is on hiatus but the other is complete. The finished one is literally shameless clop, but if you're in the mood for that then yea.

“Farewell Twilight, Applejack, Rainbow, I’m sure I’ll be seeing all of you again soon.”
That's not ominous at all coming from an Archdaemon. (Not Demon, Demons are servants of Dameons, damnit!)

Also:

How can I make Asmodeus a better character?

Well, he was quite... Bland, after a while. By the last chapter, I felt that I had quite literally seen everything this character had to offer. No mysterious secrets, no past contacts, no odd riddles... It's a bit disappointing when talking about a Daemon - Moreso an Arch Daemon.

5801130
Thanks for the feedback
I'm going to explore Asmodeus' character more in the sequels. This story I was really hoping for the reader to get a clear sense of who he is now so I can flesh him out later. I was trying to give the reader a sense of curiosity about Asmodeus' past, make him an enigma of sorts. Much like the show does with Celestia and Luna. We don't know a lot about their past, so we as a fandom speculate on it and come up with solutions and events that explain certain things about them. I tried to do the same thing here, if that makes sense. I do agree that I could have done better, but I never intended this story to grow as much as it did, so a lot of it wasn't as well planned out as it should have been

5827692
I'm curious, at what part did it take the exit to yesville?

...Beautiful...

5827695
First chapter, specifically at this sentence, and the following events.

“Do you doubt my power?”

Though I also am sad to see it end, I hold out hope for a possible sequel in the future.

5835758
If you look through my stories, there are already a couple sequels up, one is being worked on, one is on hiatus, and one is complete. If you follow me, I try to keep people up to date on my writing through blog posts.

5835791 Ahhhhh! I just didn't see any listed in a sequels column.

5835826
Weird
5838030
I can't but shake the feeling that was a f/s night reference am I crazy?

5849603
Yea, that's a plot hole that has been pointed out to me a couple times. I made a note to go fix it at some point, but it kinda keeps getting buried under everything else.

5850066 Perhaps she has to rein it in during that time, for some reason?

wicked story, man well done

5865767 5858020
Thanks guys, be sure to check out the sequels
5850654
Nah, I can make excuses but it really is a plot hole. If I were to make one, I would say that the act of raising the sun without the circumstance is something that ponies rarely get to see, rather than the whole showy thing during the summer sun celebration

5880803
I aim to please.

5883470
Well, I think its said at some point but, Lilith was head of the Circle of Lust before Asmodeus. And Anastasia is the r63 name for Asmodeus I chose. I think it fits pretty well.

5884597
Yea... the beginning of this story is pretty rough at times.

5888699
I wrote this to have most of my kinks in it. And yea, I still like how that clop scene turned out, still the longest one I wrote to date.

5911139
The story is much more clop heavy towards the beginning chapters. But yes, pretty much half of this story is clop

Well, I kinda have to reply to this comment don't I?

Firstly, this was my first story, so mistakes are going to be a given, and it was originally supposed to be a oneshot that I expanded upon. I think improved a lot over the course of this story, in both grammar and structure. Comma splices are a big problem in this for example. However, the later chapters are better than the earlier ones in my opinion, I'll be the first to admit to that, but still do have some problems.

Secondly, I didn't really set about to make anything groundbreaking plot wise. I know that I have chiches in it and tried to make them at least entertaining to read. Which I think I succeeded in at least on some level.

Moving on, I'm a follower of yours, and if you have the time, I would appreciate if you could send me specific examples of where I could improve. I'm also curious as to how far you've read into the story, or if you only left that comment after reading the first chapter.

I hope you take this comment in the right way. I'm not trying to ignore my stories flaws, nor deny what you said about it, but I would have appreciated some more elaboration on such a negative comment.

One question. Is there any pregnancy?

6721983
It's all in the context!

But seriously, looking back its kinda dumb. Will probably change it if I ever decide to rewrite this

Just read this story and loving it! Finally demons make an appearance. Loved Asmodues as a character, truly an awesome demon lord. Wouldn't mind seeing more of this series, or even the other Demon Lords. Perhaps a prequel which details his background with Luna and Celestia and his rise to power from an Incubus to a Demon Lord.

Wait a minute, I just noticed the note about which story inspired this. I faved that story forever ago, and it's a damn shame it never came to fruition. Well, you did good with this story, and you finished this one. Good on you!

If only Incubi (and Sucubi) were that nice.

i would love a more story less clop sequel to this it would be... interesting to say the least