even if i did think he was a stu (which i dont) id still like him cause hes boss and i like some OP fics/ i am actually reading for the clop but i also like the story/ and i like all clop as long as it isnt like a rape scene (although i have read some) but they werent as bad as this story was (you take my breath away) there was another person that wrote a fic called absolutely breathtaking which based on the same principle but he did it a lot nicer
I went in for the clop, thanks to the clop cosortium piece, but I stayed because of the story that took me by surprise; it showed me that there was more than just sex. There was a bit of a story there about an actual sex demon--whose sole purpose is sex and all its characteristics--and made it so that he's learning a bit more about the love side of sex, rather than the physical part. And because of this, he's probably made himself a good lover, as well as made several couples deepen their relationships, or in the case of some, may have actually got them started.
That is the sign of a immensely talented author. I'm enjoying it from the start.
As for your other things, no way that you could ever think there was too much clop. I think there is an ideal of clop and story with this one. Firstly, it's a clopfic, meaning that there is sex, and sex is the mainstay of it. For a apparent Gary Sue, I don't really think Asmodeus is one. Sure, he has all the powers, but he's still a being with needs, inquiries, and questions, like any other mortal creature. Seriously, some of the best non-clop in this is how Asmo is adapting to life in Twilight's world. I would not be surprised if something comes up where if Asmodeus is able to stay with Twilight and girls, he has a way to be able to come back at anytime (kinda like a good long-distance boyfriend).
My favorite scene was Sparity, followed by Asmodeus bathing and then loving Rainbow Dash. The Sparity one was wonderous to me--all the trust and love between Spike and Rarity to the point of her encouraging him to embrace a part of him that, frankly he is ashamed of, but that thanks to Asmodeus's advice and Rarity's love, they together learn that it's alright to have a dominating, feral side. It's probably that side that attracted Rarity to Spike in the first place. As for the bathing scene--there are few scenes where Rainbow Dash is treated as an actual mare, and not just a tomcolt. It's rare where we actually have someone or something that remind Rainbow that she has as much beauty, if not more, compared to some like Rarity or Fluttershy, and that she has beauty in her own unique way. I truly enjoyed how Asmodeus helped her to see with that. And it showed immensely when RD showed this to Twilight and Applejack after him---a completely different mare, yet Rainbow Dash is still herself. It's nice to remind all that RD is a mare.
Either way, I have a few questions I want to ask you readers, so if you have time to answer any or all of them I would greatly appreciate it. First of all, on a scale form 1 to 10, how much of a Gary Stu is Asmodeus? If you think he is one, do you still like him? and do you think it impacts the story in a negative way? Secondly, are you reading this for the story? clop? or both? And lastly, what clop scene, in your opinion, was the best?
A) I don't really think it matters if Asmodeus is a Gary Stu, I think he fits the story. My only complaint is that because of him those bullies didn't get the righteous plotkickig they deserved, but we can't have everything
B) Came for the clop, but I like how you've made this about more than just the clop, with a nice little story you've built up around it
C) Best clop scene was that six-way shag with the Asmodues clones, Twi, RD and AJ. That one with Celestia, Luna and those thee just before the intermission is a really close second.
4006694 Thanks for commenting,its good to know that people are reading this for more than the clop. Also that my attempt at mushy clop turend out good. 4005489 Originally I had Asmodeus dealing with the bullies in a much more harsh way, but Natasha and I discussed it and we realized it was a bit out of character for him. Asmodeus is thousands of years old, it should take a little more than 3 idiots to piss him off, get what I'm saying? They were maggots not worth his time to really deal with. And thanks for telling me the story is good as well, I was worried people would think it was to cheesy or something. 4004727 I see what you're saying but its not quite what I had in mind. Asmodeus isn't the one learning lessons here, hes trying to teach and help others, you get what I'm saying? Hes trying to show everyone else how sex is something beautiful, something that no one should be afraid of, and not something to be suppressed. Lastly, that is exactly what I am trying to get across with the RBD/Asmodeus and Sparity scenes. 4004708 So... what Is your favorite scene? 4004422 If you mean editor, I put in a request at the overly extensive editors group and haven't recieved anything back from them yet. I am well aware that my editing abilities are crap. 4003727 I'm sorry but alot of what you wrote is had to understand at some points. I don't mean to sound like a dick, but punctuation could really help. As far as I could tell though, your comment was positive so thank you
FOR EVERYONE Thanks for the highly positive response to Asmodeus. Hes a character I really liked coming up with and I'm glad that no one thinks poorly of him. When I first posted this story I was worried I was goinbg to get positively flooded with the "stupid alicorn OC" comments, and I am super excited to see that is not the case. I'm sure people who do think he is one are out there, but I reject that reality and substitute my own.
Also, I've started to plan out part one of day three, and there doesn't seem to be a place for a clop scene. I don't want to make anything seem forced so it probably will end up being the first chapter without sex in it. But have no worries, part 2 does have one in it.
4006893 i usually speak text and by that i mean i dont use any grammar punctuation's and yes my comment was positive i love this story and eagerly await more ( sure hope i spelled that right)
Either way, I have a few questions I want to ask you readers, so if you have time to answer any or all of them I would greatly appreciate it. First of all, on a scale form 1 to 10, how much of a Gary Stu is Asmodeus? If you think he is one, do you still like him? and do you think it impacts the story in a negative way? Secondly, are you reading this for the story? clop? or both? And lastly, what clop scene, in your opinion, was the best?
1. I give Asmodeus a 10. I like how much of a gentle arch demon pony he is towards mares. Also he is a badass if he is making a hoard for himself before he goes away. I don't think he impacts and gives the story a negative way at all.
2. I read for the creativity the author puts into stories. I'm impressed with the clop this story has and I want to know what happens next.
3. The clop scenes that I liked are listed. First, clop scene I liked was Spike and Rarity's. The second clop scene I liked was Fluttershy and Big Mac. And the Last Clop scene I liked was Asmodeus, Twilight, Rainbow, and Applejack.
I can't go into full detail of why I like those scenes. I just like them and that's that.
Eh, I wasn't suggesting the beatdown come from Asmodues, I meant more that Big Mac didn't get a piece of them because of what the Archdemon did; he saved them a good and well-deserved beating.
(As you can tell, I'm not a fan of bullies)
Comment posted by Gold4tune deleted Feb 26th, 2014
4007199 I see what you are saying, as someone who was bullied when I was younger I can agree with the sentiment, but either way I might bring the bullies back, I'm not sure yet. 4006965 Thanks for answering. Good to know that Asmodeus still has a unblemished record in the comments
1: That's pretty hard to scale. His flaws seem to be rather insignificant compared to his abilities but since he is an archdemon, summoned to please mares in a clopfic, it really doesn't affect the story negative if you ask me. 2: I mostly read it for the clop but a good storyline is always appreciated. 3: No favorite or all of them. Actually the one with three asmodeus clones was the best and the one with celestia etc. is also a bit more appealing to me. But the whole story, clop parts included is well written.
PS: There still seem to be some minor misspellings -"licked up teh side" -"opened his mouth t say something" -"The pegasus ahd no idea waht was coming"
some story just need gary stues i mean god sake look gow this one turrned out some times the fighting chllanges matter littel but the metal one mater the most instead
I don't think Asmodeus is OP in any demanding way. He's an all powerful sex demon for a reason.
As for the second set of questions, I expected a flat out clopfic. The story that came up was an enjoyable surprise.
And my favorite scenes are when mares get their baby sacks shoved full of white tadpoles.
Although the way you describe it is sexier.I think you need to finish this sentence.
4003404
Alright, thanks for answering. I appreciate it
4003519
fixed don't know how that slipped by me
even if i did think he was a stu (which i dont) id still like him cause hes boss and i like some OP fics/ i am actually reading for the clop but i also like the story/ and i like all clop as long as it isnt like a rape scene (although i have read some) but they werent as bad as this story was (you take my breath away) there was another person that wrote a fic called absolutely breathtaking which based on the same principle but he did it a lot nicer
Enjoying the story as usual. Though I do suggest that you find someone to proofread your chapters. :3
4003404
I agree with points one and two.
Not entirely sure on the third, but hay, best two out of three.
I went in for the clop, thanks to the clop cosortium piece, but I stayed because of the story that took me by surprise; it showed me that there was more than just sex. There was a bit of a story there about an actual sex demon--whose sole purpose is sex and all its characteristics--and made it so that he's learning a bit more about the love side of sex, rather than the physical part. And because of this, he's probably made himself a good lover, as well as made several couples deepen their relationships, or in the case of some, may have actually got them started.
That is the sign of a immensely talented author. I'm enjoying it from the start.
As for your other things, no way that you could ever think there was too much clop. I think there is an ideal of clop and story with this one. Firstly, it's a clopfic, meaning that there is sex, and sex is the mainstay of it. For a apparent Gary Sue, I don't really think Asmodeus is one. Sure, he has all the powers, but he's still a being with needs, inquiries, and questions, like any other mortal creature. Seriously, some of the best non-clop in this is how Asmo is adapting to life in Twilight's world. I would not be surprised if something comes up where if Asmodeus is able to stay with Twilight and girls, he has a way to be able to come back at anytime (kinda like a good long-distance boyfriend).
My favorite scene was Sparity, followed by Asmodeus bathing and then loving Rainbow Dash. The Sparity one was wonderous to me--all the trust and love between Spike and Rarity to the point of her encouraging him to embrace a part of him that, frankly he is ashamed of, but that thanks to Asmodeus's advice and Rarity's love, they together learn that it's alright to have a dominating, feral side. It's probably that side that attracted Rarity to Spike in the first place. As for the bathing scene--there are few scenes where Rainbow Dash is treated as an actual mare, and not just a tomcolt. It's rare where we actually have someone or something that remind Rainbow that she has as much beauty, if not more, compared to some like Rarity or Fluttershy, and that she has beauty in her own unique way. I truly enjoyed how Asmodeus helped her to see with that. And it showed immensely when RD showed this to Twilight and Applejack after him---a completely different mare, yet Rainbow Dash is still herself. It's nice to remind all that RD is a mare.
I love me some mushy clop, so I'm happy
Now as for your questions:
A) I don't really think it matters if Asmodeus is a Gary Stu, I think he fits the story. My only complaint is that because of him those bullies didn't get the righteous plotkickig they deserved, but we can't have everything
B) Came for the clop, but I like how you've made this about more than just the clop, with a nice little story you've built up around it
C) Best clop scene was that six-way shag with the Asmodues clones, Twi, RD and AJ. That one with Celestia, Luna and those thee just before the intermission is a really close second.
Having such good Plot to a clopfic is definitly refreshing. I don't like clop that is just clop, that just feels wrong.
Best clopscene so far? Your fluttermac interlude
I don't think Asmodeus is a bad guy, i really like him. And i'd like to see a lot more chapters with him in the future
4006694
Thanks for commenting,its good to know that people are reading this for more than the clop. Also that my attempt at mushy clop turend out good.
4005489
Originally I had Asmodeus dealing with the bullies in a much more harsh way, but Natasha and I discussed it and we realized it was a bit out of character for him. Asmodeus is thousands of years old, it should take a little more than 3 idiots to piss him off, get what I'm saying? They were maggots not worth his time to really deal with. And thanks for telling me the story is good as well, I was worried people would think it was to cheesy or something.
4004727
I see what you're saying but its not quite what I had in mind. Asmodeus isn't the one learning lessons here, hes trying to teach and help others, you get what I'm saying? Hes trying to show everyone else how sex is something beautiful, something that no one should be afraid of, and not something to be suppressed. Lastly, that is exactly what I am trying to get across with the RBD/Asmodeus and Sparity scenes.
4004708
So... what Is your favorite scene?
4004422
If you mean editor, I put in a request at the overly extensive editors group and haven't recieved anything back from them yet. I am well aware that my editing abilities are crap.
4003727
I'm sorry but alot of what you wrote is had to understand at some points. I don't mean to sound like a dick, but punctuation could really help. As far as I could tell though, your comment was positive so thank you
FOR EVERYONE
Thanks for the highly positive response to Asmodeus. Hes a character I really liked coming up with and I'm glad that no one thinks poorly of him. When I first posted this story I was worried I was goinbg to get positively flooded with the "stupid alicorn OC" comments, and I am super excited to see that is not the case. I'm sure people who do think he is one are out there, but I reject that reality and substitute my own.
Also, I've started to plan out part one of day three, and there doesn't seem to be a place for a clop scene. I don't want to make anything seem forced so it probably will end up being the first chapter without sex in it. But have no worries, part 2 does have one in it.
Gold4tune out
4006893 i usually speak text and by that i mean i dont use any grammar punctuation's and yes my comment was positive i love this story and eagerly await more ( sure hope i spelled that right)
Either way, I have a few questions I want to ask you readers, so if you have time to answer any or all of them I would greatly appreciate it. First of all, on a scale form 1 to 10, how much of a Gary Stu is Asmodeus? If you think he is one, do you still like him? and do you think it impacts the story in a negative way? Secondly, are you reading this for the story? clop? or both? And lastly, what clop scene, in your opinion, was the best?
1. I give Asmodeus a 10. I like how much of a gentle arch demon pony he is towards mares. Also he is a badass if he is making a hoard for himself before he goes away. I don't think he impacts and gives the story a negative way at all.
2. I read for the creativity the author puts into stories. I'm impressed with the clop this story has and I want to know what happens next.
3. The clop scenes that I liked are listed. First, clop scene I liked was Spike and Rarity's. The second clop scene I liked was Fluttershy and Big Mac. And the Last Clop scene I liked was Asmodeus, Twilight, Rainbow, and Applejack.
I can't go into full detail of why I like those scenes. I just like them and that's that.
Hopes this helps you to continue to write more.
Peace,
Red Mare
4006893
Eh, I wasn't suggesting the beatdown come from Asmodues, I meant more that Big Mac didn't get a piece of them because of what the Archdemon did; he saved them a good and well-deserved beating.
(As you can tell, I'm not a fan of bullies)
4007199
I see what you are saying, as someone who was bullied when I was younger I can agree with the sentiment, but either way I might bring the bullies back, I'm not sure yet.
4006965
Thanks for answering. Good to know that Asmodeus still has a unblemished record in the comments
Nice. Now I can get diabetus and masturbate at the.same time
1: That's pretty hard to scale. His flaws seem to be rather insignificant compared to his abilities but since he is an archdemon, summoned to please mares in a clopfic, it really doesn't affect the story negative if you ask me.
2: I mostly read it for the clop but a good storyline is always appreciated.
3:
No favorite or all of them.Actually the one with three asmodeus clones was the best and the one with celestia etc. is also a bit more appealing to me. But the whole story, clop parts included is well written.PS: There still seem to be some minor misspellings
-"licked up teh side"
-"opened his mouth t say something"
-"The pegasus ahd no idea waht was coming"
And the author said "Let there be D'awwwwwwww", and there was.
some story just need gary stues i mean god sake look gow this one turrned out some times the fighting chllanges matter littel but the metal one mater the most instead
D'aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAW!!!
mlpforums.com/uploads/post_images/img-3245438-1-post-25538-0-47549600-1396480269.jpg
Just gonna leave this image for ya here