• Member Since 21st Jan, 2014
  • offline last seen Jul 15th, 2023

Azure_Shadow


Part time worker, part time writer, full time jabroni. Hello!

T
Source

Trixie Lulamoon is the powerful, loyal, intelligent, (and don't forget humble) student of Princess Celestia! But after her ego gets the better of her one too many times, the princess has had it! She decides to send Trixie on a quest to defeat Nightmare Moon, and not come back until her mission is complete! The only problem? Nightmare Moon hasn't been seen in over 2,000 years! Follow Trixie as she travels the world, where laughs, adventure, and a pegasus always seem to follow her.

Cover art done by CogWing Thanks man!
Editing done by Tidal Thanks a bunch dude!

(This is inspired by a totally hype idea I got when I was watching Slayers, which is a funny anime BTW)

Chapters (6)
Comments ( 54 )

Okay. I read the first two chapters. I have a couple of questions.
1. Is the 'Mare in the Moon' still in her prison?
2. If so, how much time is it before her release?
3. When do we meet Soarin?

Oh yeah...I forgot to ask. Didn't Celestia give Trixie any type of bits or does she think Trixie will die within a week?

Pretty good concept so far. Tracking. Keep up the good work.

3872306 1- She's been missing for 2,000 years, no pony not even celestia knows where she is

2- could she be in hiding? :duck:

3-soon :twilightsmile:

4- she gave her some basic supplies and funds to start her off.

3872626 Celestia don't remember banishing her own sister to the moon? That big ol' silhouette hasn't been up on the moon since Nightmare's banishment? If not, then please explain. If you can't because of spoilers, at least tell me rather or not that shadow is on the moon where everypony can see it.

3872782 Please remember the Alternate Universe tag line, this will all be explained in upcoming chapters! Thx for understanding :twilightsmile:

Oh, and no shadow in the moon.

I love this story so far! :ajsmug: Also, i have an idea, for anyone interested!
How 'bout we make it a contest with no prize?
Sure! The jist of it is, the interested ones have to write a story for the, "Ember's Worst Fur Day Contest" involving key moments from the game, replacing characters with MLP characters, and instead of Conker, Ember, my OC and avatar!
And for Candi, or, whatever her name is, use whatever of the Mane 6 you see fit! I recommend Twilight!
Also, add any twists you see fit, to make it more than a retelling of the remake!
Post it to the RareWare Mania group! Good luck, every-pony!

3873681 Thanks for telling me! so what did you think of the new chapter? Did I pour enough feels juice into it?:duck:

3873711 Not enough, and what is there, is at a disproportion to the rest of the drink! These chapters need more feels, more references, a hint of durian juice, and a tiny umbrella!
Wow. Rick, i had no idea you had a beer snob in you!
He comes out when served improperly balanced material. It was good, but early PBG good at best.

Interesting. I see Pinkie doesn't have the 'Pinkie Promise' motions yet. Anyway, I await to see how Trixie will handle those Diamond Dogs.

3874913 I hope you're enjoying the story so far. One of the main things I'm trying to focus on with this story is Trixie's interactions with the other characters, and I personally think I did great with her talk with Pinkie. And for dealing with the Diamond Dogs she'll figure something out, she's not "The Great and Powerful Trixie" for nothing!:twilightsmile:

3874972 I figured that. I was wondering about Trixie's reaction to their numbers. After all, it must be quite large if no one wants to help Pinkie's sisters.

3875126 Yeah, I'm imagining them as a small colony of Diamond Dogs, they have numbers and strength, but as the bestiary said, they're not bright, which may be Trixie's advantage:duck: expect the next chapter later today!

I should come in, backstab someone with My Eternal Reward, and use it to get near Nightmare Moon.
Then, you kill her?
No, i fuse with her, and use her dark powers to destroy equestria!

3883943 That's.....nice? What did you think of the chapter?

This was a great chapter. You almost have me wanting Trixie to wield the elements solo.

3884410 Thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed it so far, that would be cool wouldn't it? :twilightsmile:

Talk about crispy critters. Trixie is sure a heck of a lot more powerful than I thought she would be. I'm glad to see that the Pie family is whole again and that the mine is theirs again. There were a few typos, but it was a good story. :twilightsmile:

3885117 Thanks! I planned to give Trixie only one OP spell, and I thought the name was sick, (Celestial Inferno! XD) but next chapter, Soarin and backstory!

Bit short, but actually pretty good. I liked how you did Trixie's personality.
A few notes:

shouted Trixie with pride as she lifted her front hooves into the air in a very showman-esqe manner.

would be better as

Trixie shouted with pride as she lifted her her front hooves into the air in a very showman-esque manner.

and

triumphantly replied Trixie

should be

Trixie triumphantly replied

It's also advisable to not use the same sentence structure twice when you can avoid it (unless avoiding it would set up purple prose), so you should make

said one of the guards as he lifted his hooves in the air in happiness.

into

said one of the guards, lifting his hooves into the air in happiness.

replied his partner.

would be better as

cheered his partner.

Diagnosis: Great story, very funny, issues with orders of words, and some very small problems with repetitiveness and overusing 'said' and 'replied'.

3888595 Thanks! This really helps a lot, I'll try to take your advice into mind when writing future chapters. I'll get to reviewing your story as soon as possible!:pinkiehappy:

3888595 Oh, and starting Of Pies and Diamond Dogs, it gets actiony:pinkiehappy:

3888615
You can edit chapters already out.

3888657 I know, I just gotta find a day to fix it up!

Pretty fun story, and I can see where the Slayers influence comes in, although it seems to manage to be its own tale and not just a copy.

I enjoy seeing Trixie play the hero, and it was good to see her willing to get into harm's way to protect innocents. One thing a lot of writers forget is that Trixie is very, very confident in herself, which would drive her to heroic acts when the chance presents itself.

Pinkie was also enjoyable and fun without being annoying. A bit surprised she didn't accompany Trixie on her adventures, but I think this is better. Trixie will team up with others in the future, I suppose?

The only thing I have to complain about is the huge spell at the end. For one, it's really overpowered. For the other, it felt a bit jarring to resort to outright killing the dogs. It felt just a bit too dark to me.

I'll keep reading this story.

3898303 Oh yes, one mage character does not a party make, plus, I don't want to give too much away at this point, but Soarin' isn't a tagged character for nothing.:ajsmug: And as for the OP spell, that will be further explained for as the story progresses.

DANG FLABBIT, IM TRYING TO READ AND YOUR UPLOADING NEW CHAPTERS!

well actually I'm glad... cause I'm thoroughly enjoying this so far... :pinkiehappy:

3898629 Maybe, now that I re-read it, It does sound awesome with reading it in Discord's voice, dosen't it? :duck:

But only time will tell who owns that voice!

3898583 I'm sorry! Inspiration struck! :raritydespair:

I believe Trixie has 'met' Nightmare Moon and was stopped apparently by wards placed by Celestia. If I'm wrong, it won't be the last.:derpytongue2:

3898837 Hmm, Interesting theory, I guess we'll see if your right, won't we? :duck:

3907957 I know! an awesome artist made it for me for free!

3907978 His name is in the description!

Hey, tell me when in the story i should set my time machine to if i want to get to when in the story the bar is. I have a feeling there's going to need to be some paradox stopping, because my ring finger is fading away!
that's because i might have gone back in time and tricked your past self to punch your alternate self in the face, take his place and mess up both of the timelines!
WHY?
Because SSundee dared me to!
Fine, i'll go fix it.

Say goodnight, "Other Emb" (TeeHee Metroid reference)
*Cocks gun* not so fast, past Rick!
What the fuck?
Yes! My alternate universe theories are true!
If you kill my alternate self, i'll disappear, this account won't exist, and neither will you!
HAH! I'll still exist! Remember, i'm 'Cash's minecraft account!
(Shit, he's got me there.. WAIT! if i kill him here, he can't kill my alternate self!
*bursts through wall*Mes!
What?
Another me?
Don't kill Rick!
Why? He'll tear apart the timeline if i don't!
Well, if you do, the canterlot of your timeline will crumble!
How?!?!?
the bombs i planted in the changeling invasion! you won't get them all in time!
Shit! What do we do?
I.
What?
What do I do. Your speaking to yourself, so it would be I and Me, not Us We or You.
I used the wrong "you're"?
I should have used an exclamation point to show a angered tone!
*pulls out gun* I should have used "an"!
*shoots himself*
Oh, shit.
Well... our timelines are screwed.
Guys! Don't let Rick kill himself!
You're to late, CV! He already did!
Fuck!
Wait! I know how to fix it!
How?
how?
HOW?!?!?
We stop me from going back in time in the first place!
*jumps in through window* Embers and I can't!
why?
Because ALL of us would be erased if we did that!
THEN WHAT THE FUCK DO WE DO?!?!?!?!?!?
Do 3rd me's plan?
Yeah, sure.
Don't see anything wrong with it.
Yeah.
OK.

So, we finally meet Soarin. And now he is going to follow Trixie to become a hero? This will be bad. Then again, it might be what Trixie needs. Question: where are the Elements of Harmony now?

3912514 Still under the watchful eyes of Celestia.

//snicker

Oh, Trixie. Never change.:trixieshiftright:

3917736 I think I was able to fit her ego into my fic.:rainbowlaugh:

Burning a Daimond Dog to a crisp? I can see Trixie going down a dark path here, maybe...:pinkiegasp::fluttercry:

3917791 Maybe saying "burnt to a crisp" took it too far, I meant like in animes and cartoons, like when the characters are attacked by fire, and have soot on them.

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