The Potion

by Prak

The Potion

The Potion

by Prak

“To have a guest is always a pleasure, but the company of a princess is truly a treasure.”

“That’s nice of you to say, Zecora, but I’m not here as a princess,” Twilight Sparkle said after taking a sip of herbal tea. “Actually, I want to discuss a business proposition.”

“I see. Very well, my friend. To what business shall we attend?”

“It’s about that potion you made to show me that past. First of all, I need to know if anypony can use it once it’s been infused with alicorn magic.”

Zecora set her teacup down and stared quizzically into Twilight’s eyes. “To imbue the potion is the only plight,” she said slowly. “Any may drink it once the brew turns white.”

“Great! That’s just what I needed to know. So here’s what I was thinking,” said Twilight. “This potion could do wonders for all of Equestria. It can show us parts of the past that were never even recorded. There’s no limit to what we can learn!”

“Your goal is a noble one to seek, but what is the proposition of which you speak?”

“I want you to help me produce more of the potion. You’re the only one who knows how to make it, after all.”

“Forgive my rudeness, but I must press. How exactly is this business?”

“Well, it’s going to take a lot of that potion to get anywhere, and I know we’ll need more ingredients.”

Zecora glanced at a rack of glass jars, many of which were nearly empty. “The herbs I require are rare, you see, and seldom found in the Everfree.”

Twilight nodded. “That’s what I thought. Are the herbs more common anywhere outside the forest?”

“In my homeland, they are less rare. Perhaps you could have some brought from there?”

“I don’t think that would be much of a problem, but that brings me back to my original point. We would have to pay for it, and since this is a personal project, I can’t use funds from the treasury. The way I see it, a lot of other ponies will want to be able to look into the past, so if we sell part of what we make, we should earn enough to buy more ingredients.”

“A clever plan you have devised, but I must confess, it seems unwise.”

Twilight’s teacup faltered in the air for a moment, although a quick reinforcement of her magical grip prevented a spill. “What do you mean? How is that unwise?”

“Please wait a while, my dear princess. To discuss it now would cause you stress. Come back tomorrow when the sun is high. When you return, I’ll show you why.”

* * * * *

After a full day of waiting, Twilight once again arrived at Zecora’s door. She gave the customary knock, but the zebra did not come to the door. Instead, Zecora’s muffled voice invited her to enter on her own.

Twilight opened the door and stepped inside to find her friend with a ladle in her mouth, carefully filling a flask with dark green liquid. After she finished, she set the ladle down carefully and breathed deeply before turning to greet her guest.

“Welcome, Twilight. You’ve come at the right hour. The potion is finished, except for your power.”

Twilight leaned over the flask, staring at its contents through narrowed eyes. “Zecora, it’s not that I don’t trust you or anything, but isn’t it supposed to be purple at this point?”

Zecora chuckled and said, “Purple is the color to see what has been, but green will show you what may yet happen.”

“I see. Here goes, then.” Twilight’s horn ignited with dark energy. Her brow furrowed, and she grunted from the exertion as she forced magic into the potion. When she opened her eyes, the mixture had turned white, just like the other potion.

“And this one is going to show the future, rather than the past?” Twilight asked.

Zecora nodded as she set a cushion onto the floor. “A possible future, you will see, but do not take it for certainty. Focus on your goal as you swallow. The vision will be of the path you would follow.”

Twilight sat down on the cushion, then levitated the flask to her lips and took a swig. The warm liquid rushed down her throat, but the heat spread upwards as well as down, first filling her mind, then pushing out to her eyes.

* * * * *

A moment later, she was still standing in Zecora’s hut, but both of them were standing next to a bubbling cauldron in the center of the room. Wooden test tube racks holding dozens of empty vials were arranged neatly on a table nearby. Twilight tried to move away, but her body didn’t respond to her command. Instead, her head turned toward the table.

“Is it ready?” she asked without meaning to. While she could hear herself speaking, it felt more like telepathy than vocalization. Zecora nodded, so she lifted a rack holding a dozen glass containers and held it above the cauldron. Zecora carefully ladled out a small amount of purple liquid into each one. The process was repeated until every vial was full.

Twilight’s eyes closed tightly, but she couldn’t feel the pressure, nor could she feel the dull rumble in her skull from the dark magic she knew her possible future self was channeling. Her eyes opened again to find nearly a hundred white potions laid out neatly before her.

The world suddenly turned white.

* * * * *

The blinding light gave way to color again as Twilight felt her senses return. She was back on the opposite side of the table from Zecora, a single large flask between them.

“Welcome back to the here and now. Was your vision fair or foul?”

“I can’t really tell. I saw the two of us making the potion, but I didn’t see us doing anything with it.”

“Then go ahead and take another sip. Think further ahead to guide your trip.”

Twilight nodded and took another swallow. The world was consumed by light once more.

* * * * *

She sat at her desk in the library, staring ruefully at two racks filled with empty vials. The research journal on the desk was mostly filled with indistinct scribbles, but she lifted a quill and began making more. While her body went about its business, she started to wonder if the writing was encoded.

The sound of the door opening and closing drew her attention. With a casual flick of her magic, she covered up the vials and closed the journal before standing to greet her guest.

“Ah, just the zebra I was hoping to see,” she said as she trotted over to Zecora. “My supply of the potion is empty. Are you having any luck with selling the rest?”

Zecora grinned as she pulled a large sack from her saddlebag. As it hit the table in the center of the main room, it made the satisfying sound that only a bag full of bits can make. Twilight squealed joyously and danced in place for a moment before being interrupted.

“As you can see, our sales have been booming, but we must make more, for a shortage is looming.”

“Right. With this many bits, we should be able to order three times as many ingredients as we had before and have them rush delivered!”

Zecora clucked her tongue and glared at Twilight. “Do not forget that my time is not free. I need money to live, so some of this is for me.”

“Oh, of course. Sorry about that. I just wasn’t thinking straight. Twice as many ingredients should be fine.”

* * * * *

The rest of the conversation was lost as the world flashed white again and returned to the forest hut.

As she regained control of her senses, Twilight saw that Zecora had made tea while she was in the vision and placed a cup in front of each of them. She took a sip to chase away the unpleasant taste of the potion and grinned at her companion.

“Good news! Everything works out great. I get a lot of research done, and ponies actually want to buy our potions. We were selling out and making a lot of money!”

Zecora’s eyes opened a little wider and she sat up a little straighter, but she quickly deflated again. Her mouth curved into a faint, mirthless smile before she spoke. “Twilight Sparkle, my dearest friend. You may not have seen the end. Take another sip, and see where it leads. If you still have no doubts, we will proceed.”

Twilight was still smiling as she nodded and returned to the realm of possibility.

* * * * *

This time, she was sitting at a local cafe, having tea with Rarity. Before she could find any context for the situation, her future counterpart turned her head to look at Fluttershy, who was sprinting toward them.

“Goodness, darling! Whatever is the rush?” Rarity said as Fluttershy stumbled to a halt.

She stood in place for a moment and gasped for breath. “Twilight, you have to come quick. It’s Applejack!”

Twilight leapt up and spread her wings. “What do you mean? What’s happened to Applejack?”

“She’s in trouble. Something’s wrong with her. Her eyes are glowing, and she won’t wake up!”

Twilight sprang into action immediately, flapping furiously to reach Sweet Apple Acres as quickly as possible. She landed roughly and must have sprained something, but even though she knew she was limping, Twilight felt none of her potential future self’s pain as she rushed through the farmhouse and up to Applejack’s room, where the rest of the Apple family was gathered around her bed.

Granny Smith and Big McIntosh sat on opposite sides of the bed, and while Big Mac showed his usual stoicism, Granny’s coat was stained with tears. Apple Bloom was leaning against the bed next to Mac, and despite his comforting hoof on her back, her small body was wracked with sobs.

Applejack was lying on her back, squirming and giggling. Her eyes glowed with an unnatural light, showing Twilight, for the first time, what she looked like under the potion’s influence. One of the special corks she had used to bottle the potions sat atop the bedside table, but there was no trace of a vial.

“Quit tickling me, Mommy,” Applejack said between peals of laughter, her voice pitched far higher than normal.

“How long has she been like this?” Twilight asked as she sat down at the side of the bed.

“All night, I reckon,” Big Mac said.

“We could hear her laughing up here half the night,” Granny Smith said. “We didn’t think nothing of it, but she was still like this when we woke up.”

“I went and brung the doc over this morning,” Big Mac muttered. “He thinks she took some kinda bad medicine. Found a bottle or something next to bed. Bunch more in a drawer. Took ‘em with him to see what was in ‘em.”

Twilight started to say something in response, but the vision ended in another bright flash.

* * * * *

As the hut came into view once more, Twilight didn’t even look at Zecora. She swallowed the last of the potion with reckless abandon and delved back into the future.

* * * * *

Instead of taking her back to Applejack’s room, the vision brought Twilight to an open field, where she was surrounded by other ponies. To her right, Scootaloo and Fluttershy were openly sobbing. To her left, Rarity and Sweetie Belle were hanging their heads. Narrow streaks of darkened hair beneath their eyes marred their white coats. A coffin sat in front of her, directly between a small, empty podium and a freshly-dug hole.

However, instead of the three apples she expected to see, the carvings on the sides and lid of the coffin were of a cloud with a large, multi-colored lightning bolt beneath it.

“Why?” Scootaloo cried into Fluttershy’s wing. “Why did she kill her?”

Fluttershy stroked Scootaloo’s mane for several long seconds before replying. “It wasn’t really Applejack. It was that potion she was taking. It changed her. I don’t think she knew what she was doing.”

“But all Rainbow did was try to take that stupid potion away from her. She was only trying to help,” Scootaloo wailed.

A nudge from the other side drew Twilight’s attention away from the grieving pegasi. “Do you know where Pinkie is?” Rarity asked.

“Yeah. She’s on the other side of the hill with the Apples. She said it wasn’t right that nopony else was going to go to Applejack’s funeral,” Twilight said.

“I know it isn’t,” Rarity said with a sigh, “but we had to choose, and Rainbow was the victim.”

“Excuse me a moment, please, Rarity. Princess Celestia just got here, and I want to have a word with her before the service starts.” Rarity nodded and hugged Sweetie, who had just started crying again, as Twilight walked away.

Celestia spotted Twilight’s approach and waited to the side of the assemblage. “Princess Celestia, I need to talk to you about what happened,” Twilight said.

Celestia leaned down slightly and nuzzled her cheek, but as a mere passenger in her own body, Twilight could not feel it. “I know this is a difficult time, Twilight. I share in your grief, as well. However, this is not the time for us to discuss such things with one another. As princesses, we must appear strong for our subjects.”

“Yes, I know, but—”

Celestia gently tapped Twilight’s muzzle to quiet her. “I’m afraid I have even more troubling news that I must share with you before we can begin.”

“What’s that?”

“The guards managed to track down the distributor of that strange potion that was responsible for this tragedy. It was the zebra residing nearby in the Everfree Forest. I believe you knew her, correct?”

Twilight nodded, and Celestia continued, ”However, when they arrived at her home to arrest her, she was already dead. She had hung herself, just like Applejack. ”

“I see,” Twilight said. She tried to continue speaking, to ask how all of this came to be, but her mouth wouldn't respond. Her future self seemed to have nothing more to say, but her vision swam as tears filled her eyes. Though she could not feel them, she was certain they were already making their way down her face.

“With any luck, however,” Celestia continued, ”the formula for that accursed concoction will have died with her. Now, you should go join your friends so we can start the service.”

* * * * *

Twilight returned to the hut to find her face soaked with the tears should couldn’t feel in the vision. Zecora still sat across from her, but she was avoiding eye contact and blinking back tears of her own.

Without a word, Twilight stood up and walked to the door. She spared a glance back, and this time, their eyes did lock onto one another. She sighed softly. “Thanks, Zecora. That really put things into perspective.”

“I am always happy to help when I can. So what now becomes of your ambitious plan?“

Twilight smiled and tilted her head down. A burst of magical energy from her horn struck the flask, reducing it to a pile of ash. She lifted her head, finding Zecora smiling back at her, then opened the door and stepped out into the forest.

Comments

[Limits]

Wow, this is pretty darn good. I honestly didn't expect anypony to become addicted to the potion. Nice plot twist!

[silvadel]

There was a new outer limits I think it was that had something like this -- people would retreat into the past and eventually it would go bad. I could see applejack living in the time with her parents alive.

[InTheValley]

Crud I started crying. Nicely written and oh.my.god why why must they have died. But I guess to get the reasoning to not make the potion. Still very good

[Garbo]

This is a fantastic story. It's short and to the point, and doesn't waste too much time with exposition or boring stuff like that. The only complaint I have was that the ending was a bit lacking. Would've been cool if Twilight got addicted to the potion herself, perhaps. But that's the only complaint really, it was a great story.

[Prak]

3579999
Yeah, I have to admit that I'm not particularly thrilled with the ending either, but I don't see any other way to close it out without radically altering the tone it's established at that point. If I come up with a better idea, I'll revise it for future readers.

Also, I intentionally left the nature of the addiction a bit ambiguous. It could just as easily be entirely mental, rather than physical, in which case Twilight's experiences would probably leave her wanting to avoid that potion forever, rather than experience its effects again.

[Rinnaul]

This is actually completely different than what I expected. I thought we'd wind up seeing Twilight using more of the potion to satisfy her own curiosity about the past and learning things she'd wish she never saw.

Selling it and ponies becoming addicted wasn't something I'd even considered.

[Metool Bard]

3580102 See, I'm not sure that ambiguity works for this story. The concept of ponies wanting to live in the past a la Midnight in Paris is far more interesting than just having the potion be a stand-in for illicit substances.

My other contention is simply this: Why did Twilight think this was a good idea? Sure, those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it, but I think she'd be smart enough to realize that not everypony is going to use this potion to satisfy their curiosity and figure out why things are the way they are. I'm sorry, unless she's specifically marketing the potion to historians (or keeping it for her own use), she should've seen this future coming without Zecora's help.

You have a good concept here, but the execution really made it fall apart for me. I can't bring myself to outright dislike it because it's actually well-written, and I understand that the whole Midnight in Paris angle might not have been the story you wanted to tell, so it would be unfair of me to ding you because of personal preference. Still, I found myself rather disappointed, as this didn't really resonate with me as strongly as it could have.

[Prak]

3584379
Thank you for your honesty. I'm actually inclined to agree with a lot of what you said, and my original concept was actually much closer to what you hoped for than the final product. I just wasn't confident enough about it to make the attempt because this is a major step outside my comfort zone, which mostly consists of comedy.

A more in-depth exploration of the topic would be very interesting, and I really do hope someone takes the idea and runs with it.

However, regarding your criticism about Twilight's portrayal, I think she's been shown to be excitable enough to get swept away in an idea and not think all the possible consequences through. That impression of her character was what birthed this concept in the first place.

Regardless of whether you agree with that or not, thank you for taking the time to give feedback and let me know what you didn't like about it. If you decide to explore the concept a little more deeply, please point it out to me. I'd love to see it.

[SCP Pinkamena]

well shit, that was alright. Loved it to the very end.

[SeventhBrony]

yeah, what was that version of a age old saying? "the road to hell isn't paved with good intentions, those are made to build the gate. the road is paved with the bones killed through good intentions." something along those lines but absolutely accurate

[Elric of Melnipony]

tinyurl.com/mbho6go

[SPark]

Terrific story! I very much enjoyed it.

I do have one quibble, which is that I knew how it ended before I began (in general anyway) because you description gives it away. Maybe you can take the "addictive" bit out so you're not spoilering the story?

[Prak]

3909574
Yep. You're very right. Thanks for pointing that out.

I'll edit it to bring it more in line with the short description.

[Raistlin]

The effects of the potions in Applejack remembers me that episode of Batman Beyond, where Spellbinder offers season of his VR rooms to unhappy teenagers for money.

[Commander Rainstorm]

Is it just me, or when you said

Instead, Zecora’s muffled voice invited her to enter on her own.

was that you being lazy? Or me being.... Me?
Madmare. Complete Madmare.

[Alex Warlorn]

I know it's just a plot-device to show Twilight how her good intentions can backfire. And how the potion, like ANYTHING NEW could be abused. (And be used like the drug refrain from Code Geass).

But a 'see the future' potion is likely to be a MUCH BIGGER game breaker. And for someone as fixated on order and not making mistakes as Twilight Sparkle, it would become a WORSE addiction.

And I GET the warning Zecora wanted to give Twilight. But . . . it feels WRONG that because something CAN be abused, it therefore shouldn't exist. ANYTHING can be abused. Sword, spears, etc, were all developed from FARMING tools. And arrows were used for hunting before they were used on humans. And nukes are an energy sources, not just bombs.

EVERY new discovery has a dark side, EVERYTHING NEW can be abused in some way. I know Twilight is traumatized by such a horrible, horrible, HORRIBLE MEANINGLESS LOSS that her good intentions were responsible for, and thus her actions are utterly in character.

But I can't help but think, if she was shown a future where she and her friends began abusing the Elements of Harmony to 'fix' ponies like Blueblood and Diamond Tiara, would she also have deemed them too dangerous to keep around?

Also, it's rather strange that no one knew that Zecora was the one selling the vision potion before, and didn't even recognize it. I know that ISN'T the point of the story, but still.

[Prak]

5551595
Thanks for your feedback. You made some good points, and if I ever get around to rewriting this story—which I've been considering for months—I'll be sure to address them for future readers.

[Alex Warlorn]

5551997

0-0 Than you for taking my post with maturity and tact.

[Sable Tails]

3584379
5551595

My thoughts while reading this story were almost eerily similar to Alex Warlorn's, down to the similarities with Refrain and the nuclear power/weapons example.

As he and Metool Bard already seemed to have touched on, this story suffers from a bit of a muddled message. Is it trying to say that Some Things Ponies Were Not Meant to Know? Or that... Addiction is Bad? Or maybe it's that You Shouldn't Start Mass Producing Drugs and Distributing Them to Your Friends Before You've Conducted Clinical Trials?

A large part of the problem is just how oddly, even out-of-characterly our protagonist behaves in this story. For such a methodical, scientific person, her initial plan to mass produce the drug seems ill-thought out at best, and her conclusion at the end that the best way to deal with potentially "dangerous" knowledge and substances is simply to destroy them, is an approach that I find personally reprehensible and that, frankly, I think Twilight would as well. A far more measured approach would be for her to form the Pony Drug Administration, try to iron out the side effects, and keep distribution tightly limited to historians and the like. Or something along those lines.

Now, while I've never seen Midnight in Paris, the idea of ponies wanting to live in the past seems like an excellent sort of sci-fi exploration of the possibilities introduced by Zecora's potion. However, I feel like thoroughly exploring that would require a rather extensive overhaul of the story, and I'm not even sure that's really what you were going for anyway.

If what you wanted was an emotional story that utilized the concept of the potion and the theme of addiction, why not simply replace Twilight with Applejack as the story's protagonist? You barely even hinted at wider sociological implications in the original story, so you wouldn't be losing much there, and instead you have would have a character with an powerful emotional need for the drug rather than an abstract "humanitarian" one. Zecora's new potion would then show Applejack very graphically why Living in the Past is bad for you, along with a sub-theme of addiction. Applejack would be much less likely to think through this whole plan with Twilight's cold rationality, helping the beginning to feel much more real and in-character, and her act at the end of destroying the drug would come across as a personal decision to live in the present and not pollute her body with strange milky substances, rather than an arrow aimed at the heart of science.

If that doesn't work for you, Rarity trying to procure the drug (her trying to secretly steal it from either Zecora or Twilight would make for an exciting hook, by-the-by) for Applejack might be good as well. Her trying to come up with some "gift" to alleviate the old suffering she perceives in her friend, without first fully thinking through the consequences, is something that would be very much in-character for her, I believe. And then the ending could be her rejecting, not really the drug itself, but the idea that constantly living in the past is the solution to Applejack's pain. The final scene could be, I don't know. Rarity going to spend time with Applejack at her parent's grave before taking her out to lunch. Actually being there for her friend, helping the old hurts to heal while marching with her into the future. Something like that.

Anyway. The concept of the story's good; I just wanted to throw in my two cents about why I think the storytelling elements didn't quite work out, and a few ideas of how they could have been done differently. It still gets a favorite and a thumbs-up from me. ~ Sable

[Theresa hall]

3584379
Plus things can be forgotten over time and lost to history.