• Member Since 4th Sep, 2012
  • offline last seen November 30th

Black Kyurem

I am the ultimate anti-brony!


A coup d'├ętat threatens the royal rule of Equestria and its four princesses are now in grave danger. Leading this coup is a ruthless and beastly stallion named Martinet and the ponies rallied to his cause form his army known as the Bronies. With Twilight Sparkle having been crowned as Equestria's youngest princess, Martinet vows to crush the royal reign, believing that she will one day suppress his people from the Hollow Shades. A frightened Twilight believes she has no choice but to recruit royal guards from all over Equestria and fight back to save the throne from Martinet's iron hoof. Meanwhile in Ponyville, the Cutie Mark Crusaders prepare to welcome a new filly into their society as the fifth crusader, but they find themselves in a war of their own when Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon somehow rally a group of kids to their cause to suppress all ponies without cutie marks and ensure that they never earn them.

NOTE: The concept of this story is loosely based on the fan base war over Princess Twilight Sparkle. So General Martinet basically represents the angry brony fandom while Princess Celestia represents Hasbro that supposedly "suppresses" bronies using their C&D order against "Fighting is Magic" as an example. The use of the term "bronies" in this story is meant to poke fun at any number of bronies who spread the hate around, disliked Princess Twilight, erupted into war, and/or didn't get over Princess Twilight. Because seriously, they acted so immature and everyone knows it. Obviously, Black Kyurem pokes fun at these bronies because they haven't left the fandom yet.

Chapters (7)
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Comments ( 17 )

hmm I see well im not surprised that some bronies were upset at Twilight getting Wings. very clever on writing a Fic based on that.

3577620 Black Kyurem had plans for this for a long time.

"We took away your magic," said Twilight. "You can't use it to harm or threaten anypony ever again."

Reminds me of that Final episode of Avatar : the last airbender

3577792 An intended reference, my friend.

3577808 good Even though I was a bit bothered with the unresolved cliffhanger ending at first I got over quickly because this was just a Fic even though its not tagged AU I think it is. even if you don't make a sequel to this due to planning only 7 fics that aren't connected directly.

either way 6 fics down 1 more to go.

3577816 Black Kyurem did say that regarding his fanfics, yes. But the seventh is sort of an exception because it will tie in with most of what Black Kyurem had in his previous fanfics. Some events don't carry on, such as Apple Bloom getting her cutie mark, but the fanfics themselves might...

Wow, that came out fast.

I have no idea why people hate Princess Twilight; there is no difference between her old and new self, she just has a slightly longer neck and a pair of wings. She still acts completely like her old self, as evidenced by Castle Mane-ia.

Now while I don't find this one as good as A Canterlot Wedding: Aftermath, Cutie Bloom or Rise Of The Dark Queen; your first take on an intense action story was pretty good. The way you based Martinet and his followers on the angry bronies and having them get owned by the show's characters was the ideal perverbial punch to the face; because lets face it, showing your opinion is one thing, but bitching about it and creating numerous groups dedicated to it is overreacting.

However, while the the war between the ponies and the bronies was handled well (albiet the final battle was pretty anticlimactical; seriously Discord now you show up?); your subplot with the CMC and Diamond Tiara was almost completely overshadowed by the main story. Though I'm glad you gave the CMC's problem some closure; I just wish the two stories would've been balanced out a lot more. I think that's something most of your stories seem to suffer from; when two plots are occuring at the same time, one of them is almost dismissed in favour of the other:
- With Sister Dash, the plot with Rainbow's friends in Canterlot was the main focus, and the plot with Scootaloo feeling guilty about the Mare-Do-Well incident was hinted at and didn't come to fruition until the final chapter. And judging by the title of the story, that was supposed to be the main focus.
- Ponyville Parents Day seems to suffer the most IMO, as the issue with Twilight feeling guilty after hearing about how Applejack has no parents to celebrate with is almost forgotten by the next chapter, where the focus shifts to the CMC's accident.
- Rise Of The Dark Queen also suffers the same as Sister Dash, with the focus being on the CMC and the ordeal with the Dark Queen didn't come in until halfway through and was completely resolved offscreen (figuratively speaking of course), with the title once again not being the main plot.
The reason I like A Canterlot Wedding: Aftermath and Cutie Bloom so much is because they only have one plot each, and are told extremely well.

Now despite what I've just said, I in no way think your stories are bad, every single one of them are in my favourites and I do read them frequently. I just made some points so you can see what went wrong and hopefully learn from them. I do hope no of this was hurtful in any way, it was not my intention. I do look forward to seeing more from you in the future.

Oh and one more thing; if this is ment to take place after Rise Of The Dark Queen, then why is Discord suddenly free again? Because he was turned back to stone at the end of the last story.

3578039 There's no real order or events that carry on from one story to the next, as Apple Bloom would have had her cutie mark all this time. Thing is, these seven stories of Black Kyurem will be mostly non-canon with one other, although the last fanfic will carry over events from a few of the stories. For example, Discord will be imprisoned in stone during Black Kyurem's seventh fanfic and be released later. Hm, so maybe Black Kyurem isn't quite so hot with subplots. :twilightsheepish:

3579699 hopefully the 7th Fic wont have a Subplot in fact having the main plot only would have greater focus on the story.

3579789 Black Kyurem figured subplots were part of the reason why his latter stories aren't as good as the first two. To my knowledge, Black Kyurem only has one major plot for the final fanfic unless it unintentionally breaks off into two or three.

Your subplots aren't bad, they just need a bit more focus.

Before I read this, what is the Dark tag for ?
And how bad does it get ?

I only found them online somewhere. deviantART, maybe? Can't remember. It was too long ago.

Looks like you and I don't like down votes. We must do lunch sometime. :twilightblush:

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