“Well, we could go out to see The Ponyville Theater Troupe’s new play. It’s at the Civic Hall, and it’s supposed to be really good!” Cheerilee grinned hopefully.
Bon Bon frowned, her brow furrowing. “Hmmmmmm. I don’t know. The contrast between the bright stage lights and the dark theater always gives me a headache.”
“Um, okay.” Cheerilee sat silently for a moment again, trying to look anywhere but to her left. “We could—” She shivered as the horrible grinding began again, then nervously licked her lips. “Are you sure—”
“Oh, yes. It’s totally fine.” Bon Bon kept her eyes locked on Cheerilee. “So, what else do you have in mind now that I’m single?”
The grinding ratcheted up a notch, and was now accompanied by intermittent growling. Cheerilee swallowed hard. “W-well, The Hayloft is supposed to have, um, excellent barleycakes! I’ve been meaning to try them for ages!”
Bon Bon stuck out her tongue. “Ew, no! Sparkler got food poisoning from that place when she ate there last week.”
Cheerilee sighed. This had been going on for half an hour now. Isn’t there anywhere this mare wants to go? Anywhere that isn’t here! She scooched a little further to her right, then suddenly perked up. “Well, let’s just go for a stroll and see where our night takes us!”
“No,” Bon Bon ran a hoof through her hair. “I used to do that with—”
“Okay, then what do you suggest?” Cheerilee said quickly.
“Oh, just whatever!” Bon Bon offered her a sunny smile. “I’m pretty much down for anything! You pick.”
Cheerilee could feel the waves of white-hot fury washing over her from the other end of the loveseat. “Um, well, we could…” Inadvertently, her eyes drifted to her left.
Next to her, Lyra sat, staring at Bon Bon. “Oh, no,” Lyra growled through clenched teeth. “Please, Cheerilee. Don’t let me stop you from taking my ex-marefriend out for a fun-filled night. Our recent breakup was completely amicable, and I am in NO WAY angry at the fact that she’s decided to bring her first date over a week later ON WHAT WOULD HAVE BEEN OUR ANNIVERSARY!” Lyra trembled, and twin spot of crimson blazed on her cheeks. “In fact, I couldn’t be happier for her!”
“You know, maybe this isn’t such a good time.” Cheerilee got up from the loveseat.
“No, no!” Bon Bon jumped up from her chair. “Lyra and I discussed this when she decided that we ought to take ‘a break’, and she’s perfectly fine being just roommates.” Bon Bon trotted over and rubbed her shoulder against Cheerilee’s. “I’m all yours tonight!”
“Well, let’s just go to The Trough and have a cocktail!” Cheerilee hurried to the door.
“Noooooo,” Bon Bon said, putting a hoof to her chin. “Slipstream hangs out in there, and he—”
“I like The Trough!” Lyra said with a sly grin. “Let’s go, Cheerilee! You and me!”
Bon Bon’s eyes narrowed into dagger-like slits. “What do you think you’re doing?” she whispered.
“I’m single now, too!” Lyra replied, pointedly ignoring her ex-girlfriend. “Yup, just a carefree unicorn, lookin’ for love! So what do you say, Cheers? Let’s hit the town! I’d love to go to The Hayloft and have some barleycakes.”
Cheerilee’s eyes darted between the two mares. What have I gotten myself into this time? she thought. I didn’t even know they’d been dating!
“This is truly the lowest, Lyra!” Bon Bon hissed. “And that’s saying something for you!”
“Oh, look who’s talking, Ms. Passive-Aggressive Dater!”
Cheerilee coughed uncomfortably. “You know, I’ll just be on—”
“No!” the mares both yelled in unison.
“Fine, then let’s just go somewhere!”
“Oh, anywhere’s fine with me!” Bon Bon opened a closet and retrieved a hat. She turned this way and that, examining her reflection in a mirror hung on the closet’s door.
“Alright.” Cheerilee sighed, relieved. “We’ll go to The Trough and figure it out from there.” She winced as Lyra snorted out twin jets of steam from her nostrils.
“Well,” Bonbon replied, drawing the syllable out. “I still don’t care for—”
“UGH!” Cheerilee threw her hooves up before stomping to the door. “You know what? Nevermind! This clearly isn’t the time!”
Bon Bon raced to cut her off, throwing a hoof across her chest. “Nonono! I’m sorry! We don’t want you to be mad!” She scowled at Lyra. “Do we?”
Lyra scowled back. “No, of course we don’t. Furthest thing from our minds.”
“And that’s why the roommate without the date is going to leave for a while so that the potential new couple can get things planned out!” Bon Bon opened the front door and motioned with a hoof for Lyra to make herself scarce.
For several moments, the house was ominously still. Cheerilee sweated as the mares stared at one another, each refusing to blink.
Cheerilee cleared her throat. “Um, well—”
“Fine! I hope you have a really, really wonderful time!” Lyra stomped out the door.
Bon Bon slammed the door behind the unicorn. “There. Now, we can talk in peace.”
Cheerilee sat heavily on the loveseat, then crossed her legs tightly across her chest. “Look, I really don’t appreciate what you're doing here.”
Bon Bon sighed, blinking as her bloodshot eyes welled. “No, it’s not like that. She wasn’t supposed to be here, but apparently Sea Swirl told her that we were talking and that you were coming over. She got here a few minutes before you did.” Rubbing her eyes, she motioned for Cheerilee to continue. “Let’s just try to make the best of it, okay?”
Cheerilee massaged her aching temples. It seemed like her life was lived headache to headache these days. “Okay, then let’s go dancing.”
“Bleh, no. I'll get all sweaty.” Bon Bon made a face and stuck her tongue out.
“Celestia’s sake, Bon Bon!” Cheerilee said, rolling her eyes. “You’ve shot down every—”
Both mares sat straight as something rustled in the bushes. Outside, Lyra tried to duck her head back down, but yelped as she poked herself in the eye with a twig.
Bon Bon stomped to the window and threw it open. “Nice, Lyra! Real mature of you!”
“Oh, sorry!” Lyra stood, brushing leaves and cobwebs off of her coat. “We all can’t be as emotionally serene as you are, being able to handle having dates on our anniversary and all!”
“It’s not our anniversary anymore!” Bon Bon said, throwing her hooves up. “You decided that you needed some space!”
As the argument escalated, Cheerilee slipped out the front door and headed for The Trough.
Absolutely. Perfect. Timing. Cheerilee.
3808744 It's in her nature. Cheerilee is always arriving just at the relational apex. And by apex, I mean nadir.
Well, I guess Cheerilee now officially swings both ways. Good, more room for shenanigans.
Told you. Cursed
3808757
Don't be sad, Cheerilee! Turn that nadir upside... dadir..?
Umm... It can't possibly get any worse, right?
Uh, there's nowhere to go but up?
OH LOOK A DISTRACTION! /runaway
3808809 Yup, that's why I gave her the Zecora chapter.
That night, Lyra and Bon Bon worked things out.
Aggressively.
In a certain room.
Lots of water was lost.
I'll shut up now.
~Skeeter The Lurker
3808938 Oh, you...
3808944
And that's why you love me.
I could have simply said "AND THEN THEY FUCKED"...
~Skeeter The Lurker
Now Cheerilee is getting involved in lover's quarrels. This keeps getting better and better, doesn't it?
...
For us, I mean. For her, not so much.
Eh, you could have made it more awkward if you'd had Cheerilee default into teacher mode and start scolding them for arguing in class.
Bonus points if she'd actually called them Applebloom and Diamond Tiara because she'd forgotten where she was.
Super bonus points if one of them actually liked the scolding and used that as a romantic trigger.
That was the best line in this chapter.
I think Cheerilee should resign herself to becoming the crazy cat-lady ... only to find the man of her dreams and he being so deathly allergic to cats that the moment he learns of them he runs away from her ... but the existence of such a man gets her to continue dating
Only read the firat chapter so far, but I love it alreafy. Will definitely be back to read the rest...
3808809 Cheerilee only swings one way - toward complete disaster.
I'm beginning to think Hearts and Hooves Day was actually her best date ever.
3808838 And that's why Pinkie Pie wouldn't make for a good date.
That is all that needs to be said.
Cheerilee should just get used to dating a bottle of whiskey...
Aww.. No final quip or anything. This is certainly taking a toll on poor Cheerie.
.
.
.
But it's still great fun to watch.
Date with...HUMAN CHEERILEE!
That's why you grab the nearest sharp object and point it threateningly at the one who moves closer to you.
Also threesome potential missed.
i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7145025792/hD8CABA18/ That's what it used to be Cheerilee, but you ruined it! RUINED IT!!!
Screw the Trough, you need some Berry Punch's Private Preserve, girl! In a 40oz cup!
3806599 I'm very glad you've enjoyed them!
3808837 It all started one fine, spring day when Cheerilee the filly kicked over a funny pile of bones, blood, and feathers. It was left by an old gypsy mare who used to live in the bushes behind the school, and she'd made it when the administrators had demanded that she leave. Cheerilee was just acting on a dare, but she knew not what forces she unleashed that day...
3808838 I can't even begin to comprehend the levels of chaos Pinkie would bring to this equation. Something with a high exponential. Chaos^Pinkie Power. Something like that.
3808977 Cheers just has a knack for being in the wrong place at the wrong time. If this power could just be shaped--harnessed--somehow, she could turn it into a power source. A power source for the most dangerous weapon Equestria has ever known...
3808980 I can see the fetish cloppers now. Lyra in the corner with a dunce cap. Bonbon bending over, trying to write her punishment lines on the very bottom of the blackboard that somehow got into their house. Cheerilee lording over them with a long, wooden stick used for pointing and discipline. The sexiness is off the charts.
3808989 You know, strangely enough, I've been thinking of a plot that kind of loosely follows that. It didn't involve cats, but it did have the one in a million stallion that she loses unexpectedly, but that gives her hope.
3809002 Well, thank you! I really hope you enjoy the rest!
3809005 Ha! That's hilarious. And yes, that's my goal here. I wanted people to look at Hearts and Hooves Day and think, "Man, that as a great date for Cheerilee!
3809650 Rip-roaring drunk, she proceeds to have the best date ever with a stallion or mare, but wakes up alone. She can't remember who it was or exactly what happened, but no one else owns up to it. Perhaps it was a dream or a hallucination. Perhaps they left town. Perhaps it was just Berry Punch. No pony knows.
More drinking ensues.
3810064 I think Cheerilee had had just about enough of Lyra and Bonbon at that point. She just wanted to be out of there.
3810288 That… would be remarkably weird. But I do have nine hundred and eighty-one dates to go. Who knows what is down the road?
3810591 Cheerilee: Equestrian Homewrecker!
3811088 She's going to need a prescription of some sort pretty soon...
I'm surprised she hasn't tried speed dating yet at this point, plus its a chapter that can count for multiple dates if you plan to hit the thousand mark
3811805 I actually have a speed dating chapter planned, but I want to have a larger host of irritating OCs created before I use it.
Cherilee should spend more time around Rarity. She's gossip central and would be able to clue her in as to who has recently broken up with whom and, thus, who to avoid on the dating scene. There's nothing worse than being rubbed in an ex's face.
This is great. It's good to have the comical relief from what I usually read. There's so many different possibilities for chapters. Definitely coming back to read any chapter you post in the future.
3811779
She will need to try her luck whith Berry Punch some time!
3812694 Thanks! I'm glad you want to continue reading this!
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You can actually reply to multiple people in a single post. You can scroll back up and click the reply button on a different post, or you can just shift-click the reply button on each post.
That way, you don't have to make 13 posts in a row!
3813651
But it makes us feel SPECIAL
and in NO way is a means by which one could boost the comment count making it seem more popular in ANY way
3813651 I just prefer to reply individually so that when people hover over the link, only one brief message pops up, rather than a huge text box that they have to try and search through.
It's really a hold-over behavior. Until pretty recently, I haven't had lots of people commenting on my stories at once. I may have to change in the future if I get too many people commenting. We'll see.
I have a irrational dislike of Bon Bon, so Cheerilee should have flipped her the bird and gone of with Lyra, who actually knows how to have fun. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Emoticons/misc_Lyra_dealwithit.png
*sigh* Bon Bon probably would have followed them, though, just to be an ass...
You kept forgeting to put a space in Bon Bon's name.
Yikes, that really was the most awkward date yet.
OK, that was a 9.6 on the awkward meter, still enjoying the story, was going to write one myself, but did not want to stink up the good work done so far.
I'm starting to feel bad for laughing now.
Kinda surprised Cheerilee didn't get a piece of some anger driven lesbian pony lovings, but I find the hilarity and drama of Bon Bon's and Lyra's exaggerations fun to read. I have friends who literally act like this with their exes and it's annoying to experience, but great to look back on for humor!
"People are like storms; they come in and thROW THE FURNITURE WE BOUGHT TOGETHER, BON BON."