In the end what was it all for?
In the end what was it all for?
The squadron had failed their mission. Their plan to rush in and stop Dragunda had backfired immensely. With Dragunda now a god and the ponies fleeing the more experienced Draconians it seems the world will be doomed to a life under the rule of a dragon god. King Dragunda now has the ponies who invaded his kingdom at his mercy with his new powers. Or so it would seem...
____________________________________________________________
Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, and Applejack, were all looking up in the air to see the flying ogre-like Draconian king. His form had shifted. With no prior knowledge of his appearance they couldn't know that his new godly form was just manifested by his merging with Pildragus.
"It's good of you to all show up, now I don't have to chase you down!" Dragunda roared out. He was ready to take out the invaders and reclaim his kingdom before he began the task of total domination of the world. "Any last words before I obliterate you all?"
Rainbow Dash chuckled softly. "Yeah, I have something to say. Pinkie Pie! Now!"
Dragunda had a confused look on his face before the confusion was changed to one of pain when something explosive smashed into his face and temporarily blinded him. "Arrghh!" His fury was beginning to grow into a maddened tantrum of rage. He smashed the walls around him in the blind state he was in.
Rainbow Dash used that chance to begin landing in useless attacks against the godlike being. "Darn it, I can't cut through him. Pinkie any rounds left?"
Pinkie Pie looked towards Applejack, who shook her head sadly, before replying with, "No... were all out. But I have an idea. Applejack jump out now!"
Applejack decided it was best not to question Pinkie Pie's madness during an intense situation. She jumped out and was easily caught by Rainbow Dash before they both looked at the Pinkie-geddon begin on a heading that would end in a crash course into the chest of the enraged Draconian.
"Pinkie No!" Rainbow Dash tried flying to the aid of the pink pony but Applejack grabbed her tail and held her.
"Whoa Nelly, I think it's best we sit this one out... Pinkie had a plan if things went sour... she made her machine into a floating bomb in case it would ever need to go off." Applejack let go of the tail and waited for some kind of reaction of hatred.
Rainbow Dash began leaking tears. "I failed, and now Pinkie is going to die because I couldn't succeed!" She began preparing to launch herself but was surprised by a sudden yell.
"Catch Me!" Pinkie yelled while dropping from the sky as the Pinkie-geddon has just made contact with Dragunda and exploded violently in a brilliant shower of fire, streamers, and metal.
Rainbow Dash caught her like a valiant hero and smiled with glee. "Pinkie you're alive!"
Pinkie Pie giggled. "Of course I'm alive. I had an emergency ejection button on it! Duh!"
Rainbow Dash chuckled before remembering the situation they were in. "Is he?"
Pinkie Pie shrugged. "I don't know... I just know I made direct contact with him. If he isn't dead... then I don't want to be around when he gets up."
"You two should leave anyways... I caused this mess to begin with so it's my duty to end this!" Rainbow Dash vowed.
"Ya ain't doin' anything sugar cube, he's dead, look at him," Applejack informed as they looked at the seemingly deceased Draconian king. This statement was quickly proved false by a shifting in the scaly pile beneath them.
The movement of the presumed lifeless body had shaken the three ponies to the core. "You think that you could kill a god? Is that what you really thought?" He began getting up slowly with blood dripping from his wounds that were already starting to slowly close, flesh and scales regrouping over red muscle. "I am nigh invincible and you felt it was possible to destroy me with a simple blast?"
Rainbow Dash had no time for arguments. "You two get out now! I can hold him off. Go get the others and have someone send word to Celestia! Now!"
Applejack stomped her hoof in frustration before running off as fast as she could go. Pinkie Pie sadly followed as they knew the valiant Dash was just being brave. They ran off knowing it would be the last time they saw their friend alive.
____________________________________________________________
Greg and Spitfire were side by side huddled in the concealment of a tree. Their plan to lure the Draconians into the woods had been complicated to start with. It had been slowly working but not as they planned.
Spitfire was trying to maintain composure in the face of overwhelming odds and yet reality was setting in. "We're all going to die aren't we?"
Greg sighed. "Maybe, if they decide to roast the forest instead of take the bait... I am assuming from what I learned about them they love to fight. If I am wrong we're all dead."
Spitfire chuckled. "You based this entire plan on their instinct to fight? Well it's better you take that blame in the afterlife then."
The roaring of a nearby foe stopped their banter and made them get ready for a do or die struggle against superior foes. The bait had been set and taken. The mighty Draconians wanted to personally rip the ponies apart, because burning them down would bring them no pleasure.
Trees began toppling down as the Draconians began rushing through the forest to get to their prey. With the scent of ponies still fresh on the air it easily lead their noses to their meal. The mighty elite soldiers that were kept from war, were ready to kill savagely. In the name of their ruthless king, they would be willing to do anything.
The ponies all began to seize up and hope the trap was enough to do away with the mighty foes. The griffins had prepared a trap in case things didn't fare well in straight up combat. The plan was to lure the Draconians to various parts of the forest and isolate them.
While the ones that were left alone were busy mucking around looking for ponies. The others that were being targeted would be mobbed and taken out. It wasn't an honorable strategy but it was what they had left to try. Honor brings great victory but strategy wins wars.
____________________________________________________________
Rainbow Dash was shaking to the core, she knew it was a pointless stand. She had to somehow keep the Draconian god busy with her high speed movements in order to buy her comrades time. "Hey Dragunda... I have just one question."
Dragunda's recovery was slower than he anticipated. He was certain that he fully absorbed Pildragus but something was stopping his powers from working completely. "What is it, pony?"
Rainbow Dash narrowed her eyes and changed her tone. "In the end what is this all for? Your people are all dead, your land destroyed... Why do you continue to fight when you have nothing to gain from this?"
Dragunda chuckled. "I don't care about them... if I did I wouldn't have sacrificed them all for my own gain."
Rainbow Dash looked sick. "Sacrificed? You mean... you sent your soldiers to die?"
Dragunda laughed wickedly. "You actually think I would sit out of a war I intended to win? The stupid fools didn't know that they were being used. I guess some fool did otherwise you wouldn't be here."
Rainbow Dash grew angry. "Those were your people... they all died for you... and just so you can become a lone god in a world that won't accept you?"
Dragunda rubbed his chin as if in deep thought. He smirked and then nonchalantly answered with, "Yes."
Rainbow Dash decided the time for words was over. Do or die, she was going to kick his hide. "You will pay for this!" She rushed towards him with blinding speed and landed a volley of useless strikes that were doing nothing.
"That tickles... I thought you wanted to hurt me not make me laugh!"
"Shut up!"
"This is utterly pointless I will just smite you with my godly powers!"
"Then do it!"
Dragunda had enough of these games. He wanted to begin his conquest. He slapped Rainbow Dash away sending her spiraling into a wall and began forming a giant death sphere made of dark energy. "As you wish..." He launched the giant death sphere towards Rainbow Dash and grinned menacingly.
Rainbow Dash saw the giant sphere incoming and tried moving her body. "I ... failed... goodbye... Fluttershy..." she closed her eyes waiting for the painful end that was surely to come.
____________________________________________________________
The entire castle crumbled as the explosion devastated most of the building that used to be a symbol of royalty. The grounds around the building shook violently. All those who were in motion or doing battle stopped in awe of the massive force.
Pinkie Pie stopped running and looked back. "Rainbow..."
Applejack with tears streaming down her face walked towards Pinkie. "We have to keep moving... Rainbow wouldn't want us mourning like this... Not while we have a job to do."
Pinkie Pie wiped her tears and continued running with Applejack in tow. The pain they felt from losing a trusted friend was being suppressed temporarily by the call of duty. They had a goal in mind but after they completed their task they would surely weep.
____________________________________________________________
Spitfire was in the middle of disemboweling a draconian they all had ganged up on when the blast had them all wondering what just happened. "That wasn't something the death machine was able to do... what was that?"
The dying Draconian was laughing as his guts spilled out. "It was our king... he has become a ... go..."
Greg was shivering. "This ... changes everything. We have to go, all troops this no longer is a mission but an emergency, we are all to leave now!"
Spitfire yelled, "No! if we all start going we will bring the Draconians with us... we have to continue our mission and kill these bastards off... then when they’re all dead we can flee. I don't know what's going on, but I do know this, I won't stop fighting until we made sure we can safely return home!"
Greg slammed his talons down roughly onto the ground. "We can't possibly fight something as powerful as a god off... if my dad was here sure... but he isn't."
Spitfire laughed crudely. "I never said we are fighting the god... just his legion. We are going to make his path to conquering our world a lonely one."
Greg smiled. "Fine let's continue the plan like before! Let's kill these bastards."
____________________________________________________________
Dragunda laughed at the destruction he inflicted upon his castle. "Oh if only I could see your face, too bad you're nothing but ashes now."
Rainbow Dash's voice could be heard with a dark tone. "Oh... is that so?"
Dragunda blinked in surprise and yelled. "What?"
"I asked ... is that so?"
"What... are you?"
"I'm the anarchy incarnate... call me Discord!"
A rainbow maned pony much like the one he saw earlier appeared before him but with a much more menacing look.
"I killed you!"
"You wish you did."
"I saw the blast hit you... I saw you vanish!"
"You saw what I wanted you to see, haven't you noticed the full extent of your powers haven't manifested? I have been dispersing my chaos since I sensed your presence inside this room."
"So you... are not a pony?"
"Nope, but I am borrowing this body for a while. It isn't my first choices of bodies but it will make do."
"You must have been what took out Pildragus... I was wondering how the previous host died."
"Yes, I took him out and now I shall end you."
Rainbow Dash/Discord was ready to fight off Dragunda. With their battle being the final hope for the fate of the world. It was going to be a great one.
Rainbow Dash had been keeping a secret from everyone in the hopes they didn't try to do anything about it. Discord had left a bit of his energy inside Rainbow Dash after they made a pact. Rainbow Dash would allow Discord to siphon her energy each day to grow his own and one day it would be used to help her in her time of need. The draw back was, when the usage of his power occurred, it would drain Rainbow Dash of all energy left in her and make her weak and feeble afterwards.
The temporary weakness would be worth it if Rainbow Dash could destroy the godlike dragon king. The problem was Rainbow Dash didn't know how long it would last and if it was going to be enough. All she knew was that she had to try for the fate of the world rested on her capable hooves.
____________________________________________________________
The skies over Draconia darkened as the will of two powerful souls began clashing. With the epic battle happening above the ruined castle the rest of the surviving factions had ceased their actions and started watching with interest. One particular bystander was fervently hoping for the king to be eliminated and for peace to return to her kingdom, she was ready for this madness to end.
With the enemies now turned to bystanders they all had a temporary ceasefire without verbally agreeing to such. The earlier confrontation had left dead ponies, griffins and draconians alike and even with that earlier motivation to kill each other still in their hearts this amazing sight was too rare to stray from viewing.
The other ponies watching this had the intent to run off and inform somepony to warn the queen of Equestria, but the battle taking place in the sky had full hold of their attention.
Each pony had one thought in mind. "You can do this Rainbow Dash." Even if in their hearts they knew not how she could stand a chance.
____________________________________________________________
Rainbow Dash/Discord was ready to begin her assault. With the power borrowed from a god it was enough to rival the opposing force. "Now you die Dragunda!" She charged at him with chaotic energy flowing around her making her appear as a writhing beam of hope and justice.
Dragunda wasn't expecting something so fast to come at him. He got hit with enough force to send him flying back a bit and re assess the situation. "This is impossible. I have become the most powerful being in the world with no equal... how can you stand up to me?"
"Simple, because I don't care if you're tougher, I have a goal in mind and I plan to see it out." Rainbow Dash charged again but was smacked away roughly.
Dragunda had felt the force of a bomb hit his arm when he smacked her away and noticed that his hits were not doing anything. He then remembered the words from earlier. It made him grin.
Rainbow Dash chuckled. "If you think this is an illusion... you're wrong. No I didn't read your mind by the way, it's just plainly obvious you think I am faking not being hurt. Truth is, I can't get hurt because I have no time for feeling pain. I must kill you for all that I love to be safe. Even at the cost of my own life."
She flew at him again and evaded his counter attack. She used the opportunity to fly high and gain amazing speed. With the acceleration she managed to get and the velocity she was able to maintain, it was an easy set up for a massive Sonic Rainboom.
The Draconian king turned god, had no idea of the force Rainbow Dash possessed alone but fused with Discord's magic it was going to give him one hell of a wake up call. The brilliant display of lights he saw only further enhanced his lack of understanding of the pain that was about to be delivered. "Pretty lights... is that your best move?" He was going to laugh but the force of a thousand suns, metaphorically speaking, hit him and sent him blasting down to the ground below.
Rainbow Dash was panting, the force she exerted into the Sonic Rainboom was magnified by the power she held in her. The entire sky lit with the brilliant lights and the force shook the continent. "That... was... amazing." She looked down and saw Dragunda about to get up. "No... it wasn't enough... I have enough energy for one last attack."
She began her ascent and this time her descent wasn't going to stop at the boom... it was going to be a Sonic Rainbomb, a chaos infused version. "This is for everypony I love and care for. This will be my all, and you will finally die!" She dived down at amazing speeds, the force causing the air to bend to her body's form.
The Draconian was eyeing what appeared to be a divine beam coming down from above and quickly went into a defensive position on instinct to mitigate the damage. Though the force of his opponents attack was something that couldn't be stopped.
Rainbow Dash knew this would be her final chance to end this battle, and if she failed it was going to be a dark day. She crashed into the body of the Draconian king. Protected by the magic within she was able to reduce the recoil slightly but still it hurt like all hell. She saw the brilliant lights as the explosion set off and she was launched from the top of the body she impacted by the force of the magic that made the attack possible. With all her borrowed energy expended she was on the floor looking at the body of the king feebly.
____________________________________________________________
All the onlookers were in shock at the fierce battle that took place. None of the creatures that had seen the battle knew what the outcome was and were waiting for a sign of who was the victor. each second was ages to the viewers of the intense showdown. With no victor rising it was assumed that they both had fallen.
Temporarily left in confusion, the survivors were unsure of what to do about it. The draconians had no king to rule them and no land of their own to stay in. The ponies had no idea if their mission was a success or failure. It was driving them all insane.
____________________________________________________________
Rainbow Dash tried standing up but couldn't, her body wouldn't respond to her at all. "Darn it all... I refuse to die here."
King Dragunda chuckled darkly. "Too bad... once I get up... you're going to be eaten"
Rainbow Dash gulped. "Yo..you..you're alive?"
The Draconian began getting up slowly. "Yes... valiant effort, but I'm afraid it's over for you pony."
Rainbow Dash began panicking. "No... I can't die... not now... Fluttershy!"
"I will devour her and before I do, I shall ravage her, and then cook her while thinking of you."
"You won't touch her!"
"Oh? And who's gonna stop the mightiest being in all the world?"
Dragundas heart, felt clenched as if someone was holding it. Then a loud and gushing noise was heard as his heart was ripped out from his chest by an enemy he didn't foresee being a threat. "I will..."
The queen of the Draconians used this moment of vulnerability to kill her former husband. "You used our child, my child! As part of your plan... for that I can't forgive you. I waited for the moment in which I could end your miserable life. The moment is here, and now you're dead."
Rainbow Dash watched in horror as the once powerful enemy fell down unceremoniously while his heart still beat in the hand of the queen of dragons. She grew worried that she would be the next to suffer such a fate.
"Relax... I won't kill you. I want to, and I should... but I won't. If I kill you then I will begin the cycle of hate like my husband did so long ago... " The queen of the former nation of Draconia informed.
Rainbow Dash looked at her with hesitation. "So ... what happens now?"
The queen chuckled. "You're kidding right? There is no plan... I just killed the king of this ... ruined kingdom... I have no subjects... I have no family. There is no future for me."
Rainbow Dash didn't like the eerie calmness she was displaying. "So then... wha-"
The queen narrowed her eyes and looked at Rainbow Dash with anger. "No! I will not try to rebuild my nation as there is only a handful of us left. I am the last female of my kind thanks to you and your barbaric comrades. I have nothing left and I refuse to be the bearer of the new generation of Draconians... our species will die out. Thanks to you. I won't kill you because I rather you live with the knowledge that you killed innocent beings that were being manipulated by a hateful king."
Rainbow Dash could feel the hatred being pushed into her in waves. "So that's why I'm not dead... it's because you want me to live and suffer ..."
The queen smiled a bit. "Now you're getting it. Now go... I will most likely be executed for my hand in this nefarious deed, and you will be slain if you're still around. I resigned myself to my fate, but you still have your life to live out. I would say have a nice life, but part of me is glad you're going to suffer for your deeds..."
Rainbow Dash was beginning to gain mobility in her muscles and her body was beginning to respond to her thoughts of getting the buck out of there. "Well... if you're not going to kill me ... then I will be off... I would say I am sorry about all this... but to be honest... I'm not. We didn't start this and even if what I did was horrible... I did it because I couldn't risk this world being in his hands."
The queen laughed. "Well you sure seem confident. Let me guess you can move? Don't think for a second I can't end you if I choose so... as I said, I don't see a point in killing you, since the foul creature that brought on this mess, was the one I already slain. So go... I give you my word I have no intent on chasing you down and ending you. I do however have intent on finishing what you started."
Rainbow Dash was beginning to gain wing function and was ready to take flight. "What do you mean?"
The queen laughed. "You began the destruction of my kind, and I shall now end the line with my death. Once I die there shall be no new Draconians. The ones who will most likely try to end me will have no clue I'm the last female, and with that knowledge not in their grasp they won't think twice about killing me in the name of their fallen lord."
Rainbow Dash understood why she wasn't going to resist and just sadly flew off.
The queen watched the fleeing pony and smiled. "Finally my suffering ends... I can now die in peace and join my son in the other world."
Just as Rainbow Dash was out of sight the Draconian elites that were either heavily injured or barely alive had made it to the scene of death. "What happened here?"
The queen had the heart in her hand still and bit into it. "This happened!"
The instinct of the elites kicked in and they slayed the last female Draconian... thus causing their own extinction.
____________________________________________________________
A year had passed since the day Draconia had fell as a nation and the assured extinction of the Draconians had taken place. Rainbow Dash was in the delivery room again with her wife Fluttershy, as they were expecting the arrival of their second foal.
When the foal finally decided to come out, much to Fluttershy's joy, the rainbow maned hero of Equestria had a huge smile when she saw her new foal. "Oh... my goodness she's so beautiful... and I know the perfect name for her."
Fluttershy was relieved about the whole ordeal being over. "Yes... I think that name is just right for her."
Rainbow Dash held the baby gently into her forelegs and whispered. "Welcome to the world, Scootaloo."
The End.
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Well done sir. Well done.
Moat awesome story of all fimfiction.net ... No of all the entire internet
At first I was just satisfied with the resolution. Then you had to spring that sappy ending on me and make all the feels come out. I commend you good sir. Though a small portion of me thinks about trying to end you for making me scream into the night sky. JK.
Yes! Awesome! You sir know how to write a good story :)
Overall review time.
First story-great I lived the idea of RD becoming a star and going on a downward spiral into drugs and etc.
Second story-great the recovery was nice and sappy in a good way. I love the party scene with RD shirt.
Third-I'm fifty fifty here. Going from a slice of life to an all out genocide war is a big change in story. But u managed well. I hated u 4 killing scootaloo and spike. And most of all discord. But u made up 4 it with rainbow discord dash and there child being named scootaloo.
Overall grade-B plus
Loved the story. Keep it up
3415945 Why thank you. I did feel Discord needed his final hurrah before finally being gone from the world. Discord in canon is very powerful and the only reason he got defeated was because of his own arrogance. Had he been actually trying to kill the ponies it would have been done long before they could have reunited as friends.
No word's in the world can describe what i trilogy i just read.
It was great, magnificent, excellent, i can keep going.
9/10. due to some characters that i loved died. Trixie and Scoots.
And BTW can you describe the looks of New Scoots? kinda curious
3444860 Seeing as she is a mix of RD and Shy she kinda looks like Hope star but a bit different. Instead of her hair being rainbow colored it's more pink like Shy's
Completly fucking amazing! It was worth reading over 300,000 words to get to this point. Jesus this is awesome! 1000000000000000/10
To quote Rainbow Dash "SO. AWESOME"
3415945
B-Plus
EXPLAAAAAAAIN EXPAAAAAAAAAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!... yeah thats about right just make it an a+ for frequent updates
once i have finished i will give a proper comment which will be for the entire series as opposed to a specific chapter.
Well it's been a journey for me, roughly 8 days now but I have completed the series and I must say I am thoroughly pleased, amused, saddened, and mindblown at the series of events, which have transpired across this 3 part series.
Starting out at the very beginning when Rainbow was first accepted into the Wonderbolts was very realistic, almost Canon-ish. Her friends reacted as I would have expected them too. Fluttershy asking if Rainbow wanted to ride the wonderbolt? Brilliant, and gave me an idea for my fiancee on our Valentines night together, (Just need to buy some blue, yellow, and silver spandex fabric and get to work hehe).
Now as it went on, I really lost some track when Rainbow was drugged and boozed out of her mind, as she went very out of character, but was still a bit believable due to the rise in fame she was achieving.
We skip forward a bit to the second story, and we begin seeing the relationship of Rarity and Applejack which I love so much, and could easily seeing every member of the Apple family reacting the way they did. Also I very much enjoyed the line Rarity said to Big Mac, if I recall correctly it went something like, "I'll make sure to make her scream my name until it is engraved into your mind," well something like that, I almost died of laughter.
Lightning Dust getting the crap beaten out of her by Scootaloo?!? Way to go Scoots! And now you're in the bed with Diamond Tiara? You go get her little dude :3
I honestly don't care that Lightning Dust died, I never did like her attitude, and the way she tormented Fluttershy? Now I'm not a fan of Angel Bunny, as I have written possibly the only Angel Bunny massacre story to date, but Fluttershy did not need to experience that. Then Fluttershy broke up with Rainbow and I had tears forming in my eyes, as I could literally feel Rainbow's heart being torn to shreds.
Time skip forward and Flash Sentry beats Scoots? OMG Momma-Dash is gonna tan your hide Flash, and tan his hide she did. Flash didn't deserve the lenient treatment she received from Dash, but if he had died, then who would have protected Flutters in part 3?
Speaking of that, Scootaloo is the last pony I could imagine being killed. Not because she is still a child or anything; but because she finally has happiness in her life. Not only has she been adopted, but by having a sister, and still being treated as a daughter, reassured her that Momma-Dash and Momma-Shy both loved her very much.
... Spitfire should have died.... I hated her guts for what she did to Rainbow Dash. I hate her guts, and now even when I watch a canon episode and see her, I am filled with overzealous hate for her.
Discord, oh Discord. I have a love/hate relationship with the Draconequus, and was sad to see him go. Even though he couldn't survive, what better way for him to be there to protect his only friend than to trust the remainder of his power with his only friend's wife?
All in all I LOVED this story, and not the kind of love one would normally show a story. I'm talking about Love in the how Pinkamena loved Rainbow degree.
So you my friend will recieve 11/10 mustaches. May you accept them with pride :)
Words can't express how much I feel for this fic. Everyone else had already said it, it sucks to know that I'm super late on this. I wish it could be continued but it can't. I like the whole FlutterDash child thing and the three days I was with this entire series, man I was jumping around my room and throwing things and talking out loud about upcoming problems and things I knew would happen and things I hope wouldn't happen. I do wish we could of had Diamond Tiaras reaction to Scootaloo's death they were cute together. I really miss Pinkamena but I also think Pinkie was really sweet towards Twilight. I also hated Flash Sentry. My stomach dropped when I thought you were about to kill off Luna, Pinkie, Rainbow, and Fluttershy. I screamed "Gosh Dangit!" and picked something up turned around and threw something at the wall in that dramatic man rage fashion in the movies for example. When you killed of Soarin, Scootaloo, Tank, Angel bunny, and Pinkamena. I went "Oh shet!" Rainbow destroyed people or fights were about to happen. This story touched me and I sometimes mistake somethings that happened in here for the actual Canon. Oops? Thank you so much for taking the time to give us such an amazing story that changed our lives! Hopefully you can continue it in the future! Weird... I feel sad now.
No rhjyme, no reason. I honestly tried to read through, but as I`m done... I regret putting time into it. It`s just as bumbling and haphazard in the end as it was in the first chapter. It seems that all that the story exists for is to accrue undue amounts of pathos for all it`s characters.
And... Greg? Seriously? GREG? You couldn`t think up anything better then that?... Have your well-deserved thumbs down.
4915300 Griffins generally have names that begin with g. Gilda, Gaston... so I went with that.
As for you not liking it I wonder if you even read the prequels before reading this or just read this? This story was written long ago and is a finale of a three part story. It built up to this from the first story I ever wrote on this site when I was a fresh author on this site.
While I can't change the fact you dislike it I can at least say thanks for giving it a shot.
4918817
As I mentioned before, I soldiered on and read through the whole trilogy before passing my judgment. Many things are ill-conceived - I was kept wondering thoughout the whole story if the twist is that the whole of mess had been caused by some insidious bastard releasing some kind of stupidity virus on the whole of Equestria et al to further their own goals in the atmosphere of an all out war among mentally deficient.
Turns out you were serious about it all. Talk about disappointment.
4918879 I can understand you being upset but to be this rude and disrespectful just tells me you're a dick and aren't to be taken seriously.
Sorry for wasting my time replying to someone who I thought was a genuine reader who had some issues with it.
You have a nice day being a troll and a nice life :)
4921268
I`m rather serious. I`d give examples, but I have a feeling you`re inclined to dismiss anything I say under the guise of "that`s just trolling".
4922115 Had you lead off with serious examples or even PM'ed me about the concerns of the series in general than yes I would have believed that you were serious. Instead you had two comments where you just went off with nit picking and general rudeness.
I don't mind negative criticism but the way you approached it was beyond ridiculous for me to even fathom taking it seriously.
If you like to discuss it through pm of what you thought were "serious examples" then please do so.
4922313
PM? No. This is not a private matter, and I will not discuss it privately.
Take your lumps publicly, if you want them.
4923014 My lumps? You're going to what, trash my story publicly? Go right ahead, it isn't something I haven't already experienced before.
I was merely suggesting you not make an ass of yourself in my comment section and ruin the reading experience of other people.
At the end of the day the story is already written and while it not being my best it's still well received.
Your opinion is one of many different opinions and I can't be bothered by it. I only responded to your initial post because I thought you were legitimately upset over something about this fic and had I known you just wanted to bash my story I would have just not replied.
Anyways feel free to type whatever because I won't be responding to you anymore.
4923446
What, you think I would bother pointing out anything if my goal was to "trash" story? Figures.
OK, listen here, and listen well. The only reason why I bother replying is because you are not without an option for recovery. I`m pointing out the most obvious problem that is pervasive throughout the story - characters often act inconsistently. Practically always, "you should have known better" applies to their actions and motivations.
While that much can be expected from children, you ascribe said pattern of behavior to just about anyone, starting from foals that could be such entirely legitimately and ending up with ancient beings that REALLY should have had the time and experience to get that particular issue out of their system.
Perhaps, you lack the perfectionist streak necessary to redo this whole thing. Frankly, I`d be surprised if you had it - it would`ve bothered you enough to be already working on it without anything I say as is. And that much is probably healthy - obsession with perfectionism is rarely pretty.
But damn it, I do hope that my words, harsh as they may seem, will stay with you and make you think twice when you`re penning the next one. Just enough to pause for a second and think - "Wait. Why would they do that? Isn`t there a more rational response to the situation? Shouldn`t they be experienced/mature/coldblooded/smart enough to go for it instead?"
It`s hard to write a character that`s supposed to be smarter then you yourself are, but it`s entirely possible. Unlike the characters in question, you have an advantage of perfect omniscience - you know exactly what caused what. Use that by tracing back the logical structure to explain how characters might figure things out on the fly or make an educated guess on the go. It`s just not fun seeing characters again and again and again being run into the trouble they should have been able to avoid just because you as an author didn`t gave it enough consideration to let them work it out in more efficient way.
4923568 Surprisingly your post was well written and something to think about. I guess I had you figured out wrong.
Still your points are something that would have been useful long ago since I wrote that series when I was new to the site and new to writing fiction.
I have been trying to get the first part of the series edited for grammar and flow but had to abandon that long ago. As for the direction of the story or redoing it? I don't see that happening at any point in this year but it is something to consider.
So thank you for writing out what you did as it helps me grow as an author, and I am sorry for misjudging you and writing you off as a troll.
4924584
If I could be everywhere in the right time, I`d be ruling the world right now.
I quite understand that redoing the trilogy is not going to happen now - it`s too much of a work that won`t be enjoyable. What I do expect, rather, is for you to give your characters more consideration in further stories.
Looks interesting! I'll check out the first story.