Rainbow Dash has always been full of herself and always thinking that she was the coolest mare in Equestria. She had always suspected that all the mares were into her, jokingly. Then one day it suddenly started coming true...
When Spike tries to get help from Celestia he only sets off a chain of events that will forever change Equestria.
(Featured 7/22/14 filtered view only though)
(What? This actually got in the feature box without any filters on 7/23/14 Thanks for all the support guys.)
(Sex tag because of the nature of the dialogue and because reasons)
Art by PolyCysticOvary from deviant art. Used with Permission.
Chapters (5)
*Throws all of his Yes at the computer screen*
Take it! Take it all! I've got to see how this plays out.
leighh.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/Descartes.-portrait-just-head.jpg
Anyway, I laughed and found it worthy of an upvote and a favorite. Great work!
4736307 All those Yes! I shall take them XD.
Yeah I am excited about this story as well. I started thinking about this fic when I found the picture about a week ago. It was like "Oh my I need this"
4736320 Thanks XD
I can't wait for more! This is going to be really great!
Rainbow Steal yo Mare Dash. Seems legit.
4736472 XD that comment just made me laugh.
This is gonna end well....
Oh my... Take all the moustaches, my friend. All of them. You have more than earned them! A favourite, a thumbs up and a follow is a bonus, but the moustaches are the true prize that only a few select stories earn. Here, have them! HAVE THEM ALL!
x∞
4736639 Glorious mustaches. I shall treasure them forever.
Hmm... You have my attention. So please, continue, I'm interested to see where this is going.
I think this could use some pre-reading and editing, most particularly to eliminate repetitive sentence structures and fix a lot of the dialogue.
Would you mind it if I made a few suggestions?
A bit of work is needed on making the story more fluid, but overall it's not terrible. The only glaring problem I see is that the way you've structured your sentences, everything comes out as a declaration. "The ponies all did this", and "the mares all did that". Try to cut down on those, it breaks the flow of the story.
4736759
4736735
I looked over this story like 5 times and could feel there was something still off. I don't mind if anyone notices the mistake and points them out it helps me write better.
As for editing post posting, I will have to put that on hold till tomorrow because I have to get going soon. If you guys would like to message me with suggestions or anything I am open to hearing them out.
But yeah next chapter I will definitely try not making the same mistakes as I did on this one.
I just don't understand why spike cannot understand the greatness that is Rainbow Dash.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! It's the Molestia VIRUS!!!!!
4737016
Maybe because he wants the V.
media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/1c/ec/c4/1cecc4c9304db66084b1db41ead63ff0.jpg
Lolwat?
Obligatory reference:
31.media.tumblr.com/99a34730efb988521f342342131dd227/tumblr_mrmp8c6dfj1snw5l3o1_500.gif
Carry on.
Well, considering I see a Discord character tag on here and he hasn't shown up YET I can only assume...
But you know what they say about assumptions.
I look forward to the next chatper(s).
4737016
It's because he IS Rainbow Dash.
*Snort* *Snort*
I'm gonna go ahead and guess Discord
4737800
4737881
Interesting theory but the truth is
I won't be giving the answer away
I like the story so far. I hope it keeps getting updated!
4738131 Yes this story will be updated as I regularly do update my stories. so stay tuned.
No. I'm sorry but no. Just no. I
forced myself to getgot halfway through before I stopped, It just didn't flow well at all and the characters, they spoke in a way not typical to them, I mean, seriously!Rainbow would never say 'I am' instead of 'I'm. I'm sorry, but I can not give this an upvote and favorite, nor do I have the heart to downvote, so, neutral.
(I would try to re-read this if you went over it again and fixed it all up nice and pretty)
4738253 Apparently you didn't check the bottom of the fic where I stated "don't take this seriously" also I replied already to two people regarding the grammar and flow problems that I was going to look into tomorrow.
I don't mind fixing that small section since I didn't notice it. But I hardly think you need to react so strongly.
If you wish to dislike my story do so. If you don't want to that's okay too :)
i.somethingawful.com/u/elpintogrande/june11/dukebig2.gif
Great story, keep it up!
And may Flutterdash be ever in the favor.
I shall withold judgment until more story is available...
Hah, sonic pheroboom. :)
*takes off glasses*
My god........... It has begun............
Quick! I must make haste to my portal to Eden! It is the only way to avoid this disaster that will unfold into nuclear war (namely celestia throwing sunbeams at everything with rainbow dash in her arms)
4737550 then jack black proceeds to scat
Rainbow Dash is attracting all the other mares. All of them. Somehow. She'll appreciate the attention at first, but soon she'll be flying for her life, trying to escape them. Also, I now declare her middle name to be Forest. If you know why, be first to respond and you'll win an internet.
I realize this is suppose to be a rather random comedy, but it was quite painful to read and I didn't even get halfway through before I had to close and delete the file. This would strongly benefit from a prereader and or editor.
4738651 "Run, Forrest, run!"
4738693
I do love crude humor and I think it fits well with the story you have here. There a few minor problems such as the paragraphs need to be indented but besides that you've created an excellent story. I await the next chapter to see why everypony wants the D.
4738253 I'm pretty sure she's said that in the show. However, the fact that it's such a small and common phrase, combined with the fact that it's 2am right now and I shouldn't be awake, leaves me unable to remember where I heard it specifically.
Well then, this is... OK, this made me laugh. Especially the last bit.
"The war for the D has begun!"
It promises to be silly and amusing.
4737016 Nooo not you too derpy (you're avatar and comment go hoof in hoof)!!!
Fun and silly. What better combination is there?
4738735 Yes the indents and some minor grammar issues will be solved today. I just woke up so I can't fix them without creating more problems. The next chapter though will be out by this Saturday. If not it will be out whenever I feel I can create a decent chapter to follow the first one. I can't start off strong and go weak because it's not my style.
So expect crazy...Lots of crazy
GHHHAHAHAHHAHHHAHA!!!!!!!
WE ALL NEED THE D!!!
4738018 I am betting pheromones, spike said that she smelled but the others didn't notice.
Obligatory gif:
i.imgur.com/vdpdjRz.gif
Perhaps some sort of curse to teach her a lesson? Perhaps Discord just fucking with everyone?
4739237 Oh my gosh! I have become one with the derp.