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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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For a first timer, well done. *Claps*
229100 lets explore comrade
229132 you know you like it
229138
What about you, me, and everyone else who reads this?
229134
thanks. i have some free time on my hooves right now so probably there is going to be more
There is no "Pony hell." There's just this roped off section of brony heaven where the lights don't work, so no worries. I'll put this in a priority on my inbox of reading things, for now I have Enigma to read...
YAY FOR WET MANE APPLEJACK
229243
Yeah the story is called "Spreading your wings and hers" which is writen by Crowley, again it has hugely inspired by his stories.
wait its ba that we read something abou sex even if it it has characters that are coleufull ponies in magical and based on 6 year old girls....... nah luckely i have no believe. so it doens't matter to me
so wens applejack getting a filly
A story inspired by Crowley? You just can't go wrong with that
I'm liking this already
-Glassed
ok then ill see you guys in hell
229272
im taking you with me
229100
*runs on the cliff with gear when everyones gone*
dammit im late again they probably thought i died like when i tried to help Lewis and Clark
Wait, wait, wait. He started CRYING? Really? Wut?
mememaker.net/static/images/memes/19033.jpg
Oh no, don't hang yourself
You did good 
Crowley would be proud
-Glassed
229100
Wait for me!
229351
I started writing chapter 4 like 
but soon i felt myself like this 
Thanks
229331
Yeah he overacts a little bit, but you have to see the things in his point of view. he tried to show of in front of the girl he has a crush on, fails and now she is angry at him. he feels incredible bad at this point, maybe even thinking his friendship with AJ is over even though she is just concerned about him. Guys in love tend to react over the top you know
First try you say? You're off to a good start.
Might want to fix the spelling a bit though...
229391
Yeah, spelling is huge topic for me because English is not my first language and i have dyslexia anyway so yeah. If you have some suggestions i'll fix the story as good as i can. Word fails me here sometimes.
"An image of two burned dictionaries and a fried chicken pops up in your head although you are not certainly sure why."
that made me rofl!
i loved this one, a brilliant quick read, (also the bit about the apples and the supermarket... its so true... i now have a applejack fetish)
Damn ! I need to go shopping... I will read the rest when i get back ! only spotted one Grammatical error.
Wow, I inspired you? Thanks, that's made me day, buddy!
Anyway, it's got a thumbs-up from me! A lot of spelling and grammatical errors - and I mean quite a lot - but the overall storyline (and wet mane, of course, ya gotta have wet mane!) makes it a decent read. Just read and re-read it for errors. Nice touch on the pictures thing too!
Funny you should make an Applejack fiction, of all things... I'm making an Applejack one right now!
229339
HAH!
cute
and i thought applebloom was considered a tree?
idk
that is all
kthanxbai
me likey
you already know about the spelling errors
so i wont bust your balls
but its a good fic none the less
keep em coming
that is all
kthanxbai
Oh god, the picture.....
i1.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/002/252/me-gusta.jpg
Applejack steps in front of you. „You have covered...
How did that quotation mark fall to the floor?
229545
Because in my language the quotation marks are at the floor if you begin a sentence. I have no clue why Word doens't change that if you switch the language to English.
229484
Thanks for your apprecitation. I'm honored you like the story
Quite good for a first time. AND DAMN YOUR SUBLIMINAL FADED TEXT AT THE END.
Like everyone else said tho, could do with a once over for grammar and spellin. Besides that, good. You've got my watch.
229132
yo just jealous
229545
OH MY GOSH ITS AN APOCALYPSE OF FALLING QUOTATION MARKS WE'RE GONNA BE CRUS-*thud*
229515 lol deep down you do heh heh deep
229597 yay o w8 shit
I rather enjoyed this litte fic!
I do have to say that it could have been longer... Keep up the good writing sir(or ma'am...)!
-Dashie
Right, I got around to it now. To be blunt, I loved it. Was a nice feel overall and well... ummm....
229740
Thanks, i appreciate your encouraging comment and will continueto write stories
Not a bad start, but I do with the chapters were longer
There's no frigging purple unicorns in the CMC.
I do Like this.
I've read a Fan Fiction where I'm with Rainbow Dash, Twilight and now Applejack. I'M A FUCKING SLUT!
Very good first chapter, Mah Boi!
...za?
Sorry, but a thumbs(WTBuck is a thumb, is that supposed to be part of my hoof??) not-so-up for me.
The story was fine, but the whole experience (IMHO) was killed by the rampant grammar and spelling mistakes. I understand that English not being your first language is a difficult thing to get past. After learning basics of 3 different languages, I can say that English is one confusing mother-bucker. But It still killed the mood for me; it was a bit like watching one of those artsy foreign films. You can tell the story is top notch (Even though the acting isn't), but without knowing anything they say, its a bit... lacking. The 'clop' portion was a bit pointless (Once again IMHO). A good clop scene, in a sensual fic, should be the climax (heheheh) of the emotional build-up between two characters. As such, the scene should be emotionally descript, and not just a scene like "They bucked; they came."
Also, I was annoyed to no end at the misuse of the word 'Fastened.' The word you were looking for is 'Quickened.' Fastened means to close something or lock something shut, Et Cetera.
Find a pre-reader/editor, and you will do well.
I have to say, the 2 Dictionaries and a fried chicken thing was awesome.
229100
Most epic photo-comment I've ever seen.
Actually pretty good... I though this would be a total failure considering I saw the words 'First FanFiction' and 'Erotic' in the description but that was actually good ! Keep writing !
Over this was not bad. but you did rush it too, you had all you needed to make this a nice long story. If you ever do a re-write let me know so I can read it again.
229454
and better yet! They Dont EAT CHICKEN!
"The incomparable smell of apples coming from her body"
Yet you are comparing it to apples anyway.
229400 if you have issues with spelling/English grammar, then may I recommend you get a pre reader, or in the least, someone who will look over what you write and fix any errors? In any event, I thought this was pretty good. It was a bit confusing at times, but that's minor. All in all, keep writing.
now i'm interested were this will lead
229959
thanks for your extensive critismn. One of my bigest problems i had writing this story was that i tried not to sound artificial which leads exactly to that: sounding artificial. Another problem is that even though i have to write in English during my studies i'm mostly writing scientific reports which do not require the vocabluary i had to use in this story.
Regarding the pre reader: i actually sent this story to three mates who had the task to advice me in terms of grammar and spelling. Being incompetent as they were they only pointed out mistakes that were obivous such as the missing of a word.
I'd appreciate if someone here would offer me the opportunity to send further stories for correction.
Again thanks for the critismn