• Member Since 27th Sep, 2011
  • offline last seen Apr 9th, 2023


English Major, Fiction Writer, Purple Unicorn. Will Add More Later.


It was such a small wish...

It's been nearly a year since the Jewel Seeds fell to Equestria and changed the lives of Twilight and her friends. The Time-Space Administratrion Bureau is officially opening talks with Equestria, and Twilight's new human friends are returning.

The joyous occasion is interrupted, however, by the appearance of a new threat; a set of mysterious mages armed with powerful Devices and daunting magical prowess. Who are these mysterious people that call themselves the Wolkenritter? Who do they serve?

Twilight and her friends, both old and new, are once more forced into conflict. This time, however, Equestria's future may very well hang in the balance.
This is a sequel to Magical Pony Lyrical Twilight. Please read that story before beginning this one. You can find the story here.

Magical Pony Lyrical Twilight by PurpleProse is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License.

Chapters (17)
Comments ( 482 )

It's finally here! :pinkiehappy:
Great chapter!

I honestly wonder if Vita is going to make it out of this one- Her odds are -significantly- worse than the last time she tried this... Or at least, the last time "a" Vita tried this. Multilinear timeline mechanics don't exactly make for easy word choices. :P

So happy to see this started up-- Waiting for more already!

Chapter 1 is going to undergo a bit of a rewrite for the battle scene. Hold tight everypony.

This chapter has more fight in it (well awsome fight) then last chapter of the previous story xD

Keep them coming this was an awsome start :)

I am making a wild mass guess here, but could the mistress be :trixieshiftleft: ?
Or will there be some OC getting the BoD?

A canon pony, but not necessarily one that has gotten any significant screen time?

Hmm...who do we know that know that's likable, kind, and you'd feel like you want to protect, who may also secretly be ill behind the scenes? Hayate was an endearing character who gave the Wolkenritter familial feelings because she lovingly cared for all of them as if they were her sisters (and brother). They also felt protective of her because of her medical condition and confinement to a wheelchair. As I remember it they were trying to power up the book so they could cure her illness, but it's been a while since I've seen the second season so I may not be recalling properly.

The situation with Hayate created a life-or-death desire in the Wolkenritter to help her that made them, like Presea with Alicia, willing to sacrifice anyone else to protect her. If Hayate hadn't been dying the Wolkenritter would have been content to just live out their days with her and not seek pages. We'd need a similar desperate need in the MPLT Wolkenritter in order to make this believable.

Ah crap, now I've just brought up the unfortunate thought that Hayate is going to sadly die of her illness due to how you've changed events. We need an omake to correct this! :pinkiehappy: Maybe a few omakes about how life on Earth has progressed without Nanoha becoming a mage would be a nice pause between regular chapters.

Btw my brain is coming up with Derpy (Ditzy Doo). Another much more unorthodox idea is Moondancer, that pony whose birthday party is mentioned in S1E1 but promptly dropped because Twilight cut and ran.

Edit: Okay, now I have done the research and remember what was actually happening. the book was killing Hayate and the Wolkenritter were trying to fill its pages to make it stop draining her. I don't think she was in danger before she got the book.

Chapter One's fight scene has been edited.

I really wish I had more to add other than great action and well-written. :( :fluttercry: But it is!

You take far too much after our mistress, Vita. Calling it now, Trixie is the mistress of the book.

Ugh, reading about Twi's linker core being captured wasn't pleasant, but since I didn't like it when it happened to Nanoha it isn't a surprise that I didn't like it when it happened to Twilight. I was kinda hoping it wouldn't happen like that in this different setting, but it was probably necessary for the story.

Loved seeing the princess get well and truly angry at the end.

I'm really enjoying this story so far. Can't wait for the next chapter.

Will Chrono be getting the cartridge system as well in this version?

It better not be Trixie, I cant see her inspiring the kind of loyalty Hayate did.

Great chapter! Wow, Twilight on the verge of Cutie Mark Failure syndrome. It seems a lot more dramatic than when Nanoha's linker core got drained in Nanoha A's, and it seemed like Nanoha just rested for a while and then it was no big deal.

But, uh “Ponyville General won’t be open until dawn. Same with the Royal Hospital at Canterlot," --> Hospitals don't normally close down for the night, what with injured people not being able to wait.

Cutie Mark Failure syndrome as caused by mental/psychological disconnect is scary enough; I hate to think of what would happen in the event of full cutie mark negation. :twilightoops:

Also, I can think of a Hand Wave (warning, TvTropes link!) for Celestia's hospital explanation: she was able to tell that Twilight's Linker Core was severely drained, and the relevant specialists for that type of malady are not the type you find on night duty at a hospital... assuming they're even common enough to be found in residency at all.

Edit made.

True enough, but Brief does have a point. Shouldn't it be a hoof-wave, though? :twilightsmile:

Dear Lord, the Wolkenritter are SCREWED. Celestia is going to be absolutely furious when she sees how much damage they did. I'm seeing that summon solar flare spell in their future.

And Luna, your sister uses magic to create nuclear blasts for her trump card*. You can't possibly have more sinister magic than that.

*A star is a constant fusion explosion. Celestia drops bits of that on people.

"And Luna, your sister uses magic to create nuclear blasts for her trump card*. You can't possibly have more sinister magic than that."

challengeaccepted.jpg :coolphoto:

So later on will the final battle take place on Earth or Equestria?

On Luna's Trump:
Three words, Kinetic Kill Vehicle. Yes I know how the TSAB feels about Mass Weapons.

Okay, spacebatttles was down, so I was :pinkiesad2:, then I checked here and found an updated MPLT-A and I was all :raritystarry:.

Then I discovered you had Cutie Marks run through a linker core, or at least when someone drains a pony who's special talent is magic there are serious complications and they are ramped up to eleven. Anypony facing them knowing or suspecting this effect isn't going to hold back, given this is Equestrian style Nightmare Rocket Fuel.

Leaving the Diarchs aside, we have Fate, who Twilight pulled out of a pit of despair learning Ancient Equestrian War Magic. (The Lightning Sword of Night?) Their big brother, Captain of the Royal Guard, Shining Armor, he of the massive Shield Haxx. And any of the Royal Guard that knew her either from being Celestia's apprentice, or as the boss's little sister.

And we thought Chrono would be the most loose cannon in this scenario. "How did I get to be the reasonable one here?"

This is so much win. I was pretty bummed out tonight and lo and behold you updated, now my whole day is good. Also I'm so glad that you didn't decide to put the cartage system in fate's and twilight's devices. Now I'm coming up with all kinds of crazy things that the princess could do to make them stronger, the possibilities are endless. Oh and I want to beat whoever got that book out, beat them within an inch of their life for what they did to twilight. :twilightangry2:

Now I have a monumental problem... I have to wait for the next chapter.:facehoof:

So is Fate, er, "stuck" as a pony? I mean, certainly she doesn't seem to mind much and one could say that with all the bad memories associated with her human body she might well prefer to be in the form of her new-found family. But could she be changed back into a human if it seemed like a good idea for some reason?

Yes, Fate can change back to a human if she wants to.

A pony's cutie mark is both a facet of their soul and personality, and seemingly deeply entrenched in their magical essence. To have it drained, well it's not exactly surprising that Twilight's talent extended like that as well. Must be something of a shock, to be little more than a pale, or as you say, partially erased shadow of yourself. I expect any pony, even non-unicorns could probably be drained in a similar fashion. Both AJ and Rainbow have significant potency as well, and would probably experience a similar issue. Unlike humans, all ponies are magical.

She better get better though! I don't know how much talking about 'friendship' she's going to feel up to after this.

Love the connection of the Tome with Luna, and I already see how this could play out differently than Canon. Though, if the tome was created by her, wouldn't the 'knights' be ponies? Unless they were a feature added later somehow, which seems to be the case.

Well, I just got back from reading Elementals of Harmony, and yeah, Luna's thematics do leave her with more sinister magic. Channel the truth of the heat death of the Universe anyone? Nuclear weapons are kind of tame compared to that. Although, the whole turn peoples shadows into lethal binds she was using on the drones was pretty scary in its own way.

Sorry to double post, but I just had an scary thought. If anything like the fight with Reinforce from the final episodes happens, Celestia and Luna will actually need to use their trump cards to win. Unless the elements can destroy the darkness of the book of darkness and end the fight that way, and if Gears of Destiny is canon here that thing is at least as dangerous as Discord, there is gonna be a hell of a blast-out. And with almost everyone and everything and Equestria being magical, barriers will not stop Reinforce's city buster spells from killing civilians. The diarchs will not let happen. Problem is, Reinforce, judging from A's, is powerful enough to stand up any magical attack that isn't in the same league as their big guns.

Oh, when Luna and Celestia catch up with these Knights, horse apples gonna go down!

Great writing of Celestia, there. Pitch-perfect IMHO. I hope she can 'truly' cut loose and score some major victories/carnage. Also, poor Twilight. *Hugs*:fluttershysad:

Arrr! The alerts on this site are useless!

Good chapter.
Interesting backstory additions for Luna.

Also I feel that at some point a TSAB mechanic will see RH and or Bardiche, learn who upgraded them and make an Iron Man reference.

Hayate was being drained and dying because of the book. The Wolkenritter gang assumed that, if the book were filled, Hayate would be back to full health again, and all five of them could live a happy life together, thus why they went through any and all odds to do it. Also, if this Vita is like canon Vita, she's not mad Twilight hit her, she's mad Twilight ruined her hat. You do NOT touch Vita's hat.

I'm loving this, so much.

My money's on Scootaloo being . No known parents, and she's unable to fly, despite it seeming like she should have a real knack for it. . . The curious question, regardless of who it turns out to be, is. . . How long has known of Equestria's existence, and how?

Before I actually sit down to read (at last), I'd like to reserve this space, and also point out:
You REALLY should be putting full line breaks between your paragraphs.


OK, well, the spacing and tabbing makes it very hard to read, as always, but the quality is... still very solid. This one felt a little sloppier than Chapter 2 or 3 did, although it was still above and beyond the call of duty.

For the plot... I honestly can't tell if you're going with the obvious Master for the book or not. Like, it seems that it would be a waste, but at the same time, it's a very clean way to handle it. The ever-increasing reluctance of the Wolkenritter is a good sign, in my eyes, although it makes me wonder where things will go when the inevitable meeting takes place...

Regardless, it's awesome to have you back, and I'm gladly looking forward to the next update.

I do love updates for this story :twilightsmile:

Any idea how long until the next chapter?

Join the dark side Fate we serve cookies! :facehoof:

Do recall what happened when Fate first came to Ponyville? :pinkiegasp:

So Fate Testarossa-Sparkle, Sword of the Princesses (or Luna)
Twilight Sparkle, Staff of Celestia
Maybe Shining Armor gets a device to upgrade, to add the Shield to the Sparkle siblings and Equestria?

So this is before the royal wedding good to know. Make me wonder if Cadance or the changeling's will play a part in this series later on same goes for Discord.

Come on! Luna is training Fate in the ways of darkness, a Star Wars reference had to be said.

Check out Fate's first appearance in the previous fic, which was in Sugarcube Corner. Cookies have already been employed. :pinkiehappy:

Let me rephrase my previous statement then "Join the dark side Fate, we have cupcakes (And no not those cupcales.)"

Let me rephrase my previous statement then "Join the dark side Fate, we have cupcakes (And no not those cupcales.)"
Nah, I say it would be Trixie.

Yep, the master is Trixie. Still kinda wierd that they seem more familiar with their human bodies than pony. Though, hey... they have pony bodies! Wonder how it's going to resolve, differently than it did in the series... Luna takes on Trixie too after the book is destroyed?

No way it isn't Trixie, given Fancypants' theater and the conversation he had there.

I say go for it Rarity, even if he isn't a prince Shining Armor is a much better catch than Blueblood ever was. You never know, maybe he isn't in a relationship with Cadence yet.

Just love the Luna/Tome of the Night Sky backstory we are getting.

Trixie and Octavia are the only two ponies I can think of that would need a stage.

Anyways, I look forward to seeing if Reinforce can be saved (though I guess she probably won't have that name). If I remember A's correctly (and it's been a while), the only reason she couldn't be saved in the anime is because the original administrator wasn't present.


I didn't think of that, but she might be saveable this time. The problem was that even though the defense program had been destroyed, the remainder of the Book was still badly corrupted, and would have generated a new defense program. Repairing the damage wasn't possible, since the original data had been erased. But if the Meister who wrote the Tome in the first place is there...

Another great chapter. Sadly, I believe it's Trixie, too. :applecry: poor pony, all she wanted to do was put on a show for Ponyville...

Great Fate/Luna, too. Love the flashbacks. So badass. :rainbowdetermined2:

Ooh, this is going to be good. Much better than what currently passes for Nanoha canon. (I swear, if FORCE isn't shut down and retconned into oblivion...)

I know, right? I'm not particularly enamored with FORCE myself... :facehoof:

now i wouldnt be surprised if a ponified card captors was made...

Great chapter will Chrono and Yuuno find out about Nightmare Moon?

To be hones I expected Scootaloo or Sweetie Belle to have the book. Trixie was a surprise.

Login or register to comment