Look, it's a story that I killed off before it could get off the ground! And guess what happened to its reboot? Yeah, that was shot down in the same way!
Given how short this thing was, let's just go ahead and tear the story a new one. 
Twilight bashed through the doors of Town hall. "I DID IT!" she hollered, "I'VE FINALLY DID IT!"
This story's by far the most experimental of my stories. I'm not even sure what I'd roast here.
You were my sister, dear Luna. Why didn’t you tell me before?
Um... I guess this could be taken completely out of context?
A thousand years since I have last felt true joy.
F for Celestia.
throughout my many protégés,
This story's more or less a literal dump for scrapped ideas from Pony-Me. I do plan on eventually making a fic that'd basically be like this one, but for all of my stories instead. Given how these are already rejected ideas or random scenes I messed around with, I'm not sure if there's even anything to roast.
I forgot to mention this, but there's exactly one redeeming trait in the story that still exists to this day in my current fics:
Using the chapter names to tell another, separate story.
I really, really like doing this, if you couldn't tell by the fact that I do it in just about every recent story I've written that doesn't have the comedy tag now. 
Oh, neat. We've got a canceled story focusing on a pair of OCs that were reused from the canceled sequel to another story.
Also, long delay between posts is long. I'm feeling moderately annoyed by stuff going on at the moment so let's keep this short.
"Jewel?" I yawned, wiping my face with a towel hanging by the garage door as I entered the house. "You feel like eating out somewhere, or should I heat up yesterday's leftovers?"
And then they get food poisoning.
O hecc. I skipped over this on accident. Whoopsies.
Right off the get-go, this story was a massive shift from what I'd previously written, and what I would say was my first "flagship story" of sorts. For one, the story is based fully within existing MLP lore, with me only tacking on my own bits afterward, rather than vice-versa.
Yeah, I almost forgot I was doing these too!
Meet the edgy little edgelord stepsibling of Pony-Me that was quite literally yeeted out of the chapters of Pony-Me after it got too edgy for its own good.
Short to say, I'm glad I decided to separate these chapters from the original story and dump 'em into a separate fic.
Neat. It's the first story I wrote that actually stuck around on my top 4 stories list on my about page for a decent amount of time. It took ages for another story to come around and boot it off the list. 
This was very much a one-off story I wrote because I could back in the day. Nowadays it probably would've popped up as an entry in What If instead, but eh.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
...
...
*Looks again at the story*
Hey, ya heckers, it's me again, ya boi with the toasty self-roasty reviews. We gon burn up Equestria Forever in a bit.
Neat, another follower special.
No comment on the story itself. Let's get right into it.
Twilight shrieked as she set hoof into her castle. Except... it wasn't exactly a castle anymore, but rather a large, BLT-shaped railgun mounted on an absurdly large golden statue of Twilight's head.
Aaaaaand that happened.
Back at it again with the smurfhorses, Tonkus!
Anyway, you know the drill. Long story, skip out on some chapters (unless it's something I especially like).
Slowly, with a groan, I opened an eye. It was just as I feared... the portal led us to the wrong location, and from the looks of it, that wrong location is a freakin' space station.
Whoops.
Hey, it's another fic that has a major influence on my stories today!
Funnily enough, apparently I considered this story a sequel to I Think I Summoned a Ponk. I guess I wasn't quite ready to let that fic die just yet after Equestria Forever ended up as a mess in a hole.
Yup. We're knocking out an entire series this time 'round.
Mmm... I love the smell of reboots in the morning.
I should probably put some work into this fic now that Splintershard's on hiatus, shouldn't I? I mean, I'm already here, roasting it, so I'd might as well take the step and actually write another chapter, right?
Nah. I'ma roast this thing and then probably go to bed or something. Or lurk on Discord for another hour.
Anyway.
Oh, another forgettable story. Yeah, this one tried to pull off something similar to Equestria's Nutella Troubles, but with Ramen instead. Didn't work.
(I just couldn't wait until Wednesday, now could I?
)
What? Was there something that was supposed to happen that Wednesday?
Neat. I last updated this thing almost exactly three years ago. Also, reboot!
What dis? It's the beginning of a new era in my stories here on Fimfic!
Hmm, a story that has its lore based on some kind of tragic event that happened to the main character that results in them thinking they've been in Equestria all this time before they ultimately wake up in a completely different world? Now where have I heard of that?
AKA the story that was meant to be like What If but at the same time like these toasty lil' reviews.
It started off as a pretty decently funny idea, but it kinda went downhill from there. 
Vinyl's score? 3/10. If dubstep isn't allowed, it isn't worth it. Also, the ponies were rather rude when they kicked her overboard.
AKA, one of the reasons why I don't like writing commissions for people.
Also, the guy who requested the commish has been banned for quite a while now, so I'm just gonna assume it's fine to talk about what went down.
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