Techie's SPICY Smonkin' Toasted Self-Roasted Reviews #7: [The Other "Pony"]! · 7:07am Oct 6th, 2019
Look, it's a story that I killed off before it could get off the ground! And guess what happened to its reboot? Yeah, that was shot down in the same way!
Given how short this thing was, let's just go ahead and tear the story a new one. 
Twilight bashed through the doors of Town hall. "I DID IT!" she hollered, "I'VE FINALLY DID IT!"
Twilight is a good candidate for the next Kool-Aid Mare.
"Princess..." began Mayor Mare, rubbing her brow, "we know that you must be excited about your... 'breakthrough', but I don't think that you should be barging into random buildings and yelling about it. You've already broken into three other buildings today, not counting now."
Dar Princess Celestia, I have learned three things today:
- Don't barge into random buildings
- Don't barge into three random buildings
- Town Hall counts as a building
--Your former student, Twilight Sparkle
A small, robotic voice came from a box mounted inside Twilight's saddlebag. "Indeed, Miss Twilight. I do so enjoy the attention I have been given since my creation."
I always imagined this voice, both in this and the flopped reboot, to be a mix between Alfred from Batman and Tony Stark's JARVIS AI. Congrats, if you've ever heard either one, then you will now read every line in that voice until the end of this blog. You're welcome.
Twilight threw her head up in a cheer. "YES! ALL OF IT! OH I LOVE YOU, TWIL-01!"
( ͡• ͜ʖ ͡• )
Her assistant shrugged. "Most ah know of stuff like that, It'd take about a week"
Hol up, since when was Applejack Mayor Mare's assistant?
"HIIIIIIIIIIII!" Twilight yelled, rattling the clothes racks, "WaNT tO SEe My AI systEM?"
As someone who likes to write Twilight Sparkle because it often makes it easy to project my own interests onto her as a character, I can now comfortably say that I am offended by my own writing. SUPER PROUD I MEAN OMIGERSH THIS IS THE MOST RELATABLE THING EVER AMIRTE? YEAH I LIKE TO SHOW THINGS OFF TOO AND SHOVE THINGS IN EVERYONE'S FACES AND-- *smack*
Twilight looked down upon the cracked tile floor. "oH," she said, "I'LL FiX That vEry quicKLy!" She lit her horn, and in a matter of seconds, the wall became an OCD-inducing patchwork of rubble. "See? I fiXED It!" she yelled. She spun around to inspect her work. "Oh NO! THiS lOOks BaD! I musT FIx iT!" she yelled. With that, she lit her horn again, but was cut off by Rarity.
I'm pretty sure I had fun writing this garbage heap of a scene.
"WAaaAaaAzZZZZzZup APpLEjACK?" Yelled Twilight, "IT LooKS liKe YOU'Re QUitE BUSY! DO You wAnT mE TO HElp???"
Applejack, don't let the crazy drunk mare handle heavy machinery!
Upon her arrival, she gawked at the utter destruction around Twilight. The well was somehow burning from the bottom up, the apple crates were stacked sideways into a wall, and said wall had a large alicorn-shaped hole through them. Suddenly, Discord appeared above the mess, floating a few inches above Twilight, who was laughing like a madmare.
Someone didn't listen.
"Quite the silence we've got here, Miss Twilight, would you mind if I played some background music?"
Twilight quickly replied. "Yes, TWIL-01, fiND thE CRazIest sOnG THaT yoU CAN pLAY."
Recommended Listening
[youtube=t0I4mTEdAf8]Just messin' with ya. Don't listen to that stuff. It'll hurt your ears.
Applejack winced at the sudden onslaught that began attacking her eardrums. "Twilight!" She yelled, "What the hay! Stop that crap!"
Link's broken, but it was just TV static anyway.
Literally.
Heh. Twilight LITERALLY broke-through. That is, she broke through the walls.
FUN-NY FUN-NY JOEK HA HA HA VER-Y FUN-NY I MAEK LAFF WITH FUN-NY JOEKS.
Chapter 2: Twily and the Bot
I distinctly remember that I had "Beauty and the Beast" in mind for no discernable reason when coming up with this title.
The AI system paged it's memory bank once more. It had to, since it relied primarily on swap files from Twilight refusing to add more RAM to it's control system at the time. Finally, it replied, "I have made a nice breakfast of toast and jam, Miss Twilight."
Mmm, tech jargon! I tend to avoid using too much of it these days in stories. Makes stuff seem a little less r/iamverysmart.
But as the 'bot didn't have any physical way to represent it's feelings, it simply said, "Nod, nod."
"Facedesk, facedesk." See, I've still got it in me!
~~~{Twilight's Secret Underground Lab}~~~
How do we know it's a lab and not a secret sexy dungeon?
Because Pinkie knows all.
Very true.
And that's it. The story died in a hole before it ever got off the ground. :P
Also, what the heck was I thinking with that title?
"Laugh, laugh"
Because Twiggles didn't get that until What if sapped away most of your sanity
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But this story came out after What If!
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But if you look at both stories you can see that while you were writing this one, you were still doing the serious stuff in What If
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Good point