Techie's SPICY Smokin' Toasted Self-Roasted Reviews #41: [Pony-Me™: Outtakes]! · 7:56am Nov 19th, 2019
This story's more or less a literal dump for scrapped ideas from Pony-Me. I do plan on eventually making a fic that'd basically be like this one, but for all of my stories instead. Given how these are already rejected ideas or random scenes I messed around with, I'm not sure if there's even anything to roast.
As usual, without further ado, let's get right into this. 
"Ow!" The girl cried, rubbing the now-sore spot on her. "What'd you do that for?"
Samantha grinned, holding up an ice cream cone.
Because that is exactly how you treat someone when you're about to give them ice cream.
Timothy stared at the towering stack of rocks he constructed. Slowly, he reached into his pocket...
...And put a tiny wig on the thing.
Based on a 100% true story.
"GOSH DARNIT CHAD." He hollered, racing towards the other man, "HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU TO STOP COSPLAYING AS ME?! HOW'D YOU EVEN GET IN HERE?!"
The door. *insert laugh track here*
Oh neat, the next chapter is an entire scrapped dream sequence from the original fiction. Guess what else? That draft of the original fiction was scrapped entirely, and rewritten from the ground up to be what it is now. Actually, I think I could very well go ahead and publish the few drafted chapters from back then somewhere 'round here.
In an instant, her vision was filled with a blinding flash of light.
Just like me when I visit a website without dark mode! REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE--
Next chapter is pretty much just a followup to the chapter about rock stacking. Nothing to roast there, really.
"You're not even looking! What's even on your screen?"
This can very easily be taken out of context.
"But what about Professor Argall?"
"Forget about him," Lisa scoffed, "I'm talking about my real family."
You-you're not my real dad! You don't understand me!
Lisa jolted awake, a heavy object resting on her face.
"...What." The girl grumbled, tugging at her headset, "Wait, that was... what..."
She pulled the headset off with a heavy grunt, staring now at the unwieldy device dangling from her fingers.
"Yeah, screw it." Lisa turned in her cot, chucking the headset at the window.
One burst of shattering glass and a clatter of plastic-on-ground later, Lisa went back to bed.
And that's how Pony-Me could've ended if it stayed as a chapter of What If.
"Ugh." Lisa groaned again as she walked away. "My parents are dead, don't forget!"
*Glares at Butter Knife and her five dead biological parents*
"Alright, Lisa. How about I tell you about the magical powers of radio?"
MLP: RADIOS ARE MAAAAAAAGIC
"Your virtual reality station!" Pinkie squealed, pointing a hoof at the ring, "Do you like it?"
"What."
I seem to like writing that as a reaction quite a bit. Just a simple "What." and that's it.
20 goto 10? Twilight read over the words at the top of the page again. What...
She lit her horn, casting the spell.
You idiot! You've started the loop yet again!
The drive activity light shut off as the two identical AIs loaded up.
Two Twilight Sparkles, mindlessly babbling to each other; not exactly the best thing to have around.
Now imagine if it was Twilight that cloned herself in the mirror pool.
The woman choked on her coffee. "Samantha? I thought you--"
"I came back, mom."
Would've been funnier if a stranger opened the door.
Lisa motioned to the Nokia badge emblazoned proudly across the top of the device, her brow raised as she looked at her brother. "It's a Nokia, bro. These things last forever."
This is the part where she yeets the Nokia brick out the window and causes a global extinction event from the resulting crater.
"...What am I supposed to do with this?"
Eat it!
The man snorted at his coworker's remarks, folding his arms. "Yeah, and we totally don't have enough home-assistants hooked up yet. Y'know?"
*Amazon Alexa noises*
"I want mom and dad back." Lisa pouted, folding her arms as she sat on the medical cot,
She has the technology. She can fix them.
Lisa groaned, rubbing her neck as she thought. "Well, just what would you be thinking if a clone of yourself just... showed up out of nowhere, screaming at the top of her lungs?"
Oh, hi there me-- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA...
"Just pick a place to sit," she began, turning to Lisa and Timothy, "I'll order. What do you want?"
Burger King foot lettuce, on the double!
"Wait!" she shouted, setting off into the dense orchard, "Applejack, wait up! I have something to ask you!"
"Do you have a crush on Rainbow Dash?"
"If you want," Samantha continued, "I could remove your memory of the two of us as well, so that you
Fun, an unfinished sentence!
Mention something about how Lisa said that "Celestia isn't who she used to be"
Ah gotta say, they sure ain't makin' them alicorns the way they used to back in mah day.
ok that's all kthxbai
Yeah, dont you do the same?